Her Christmas Wolf (Sawtooth Shifters Book 4)

by Kristen Strassel

  The more everyone tried to drive me away from Shea, the more I related to him. I’d been locked in a cage, fed just often enough to keep me alive, and beaten until I didn’t feel pain anymore. Once I was out, I was ridiculed and humiliated for missing seven years of my life, expected to snap in line and act normal. Impossible. I’d been a prisoner in my own body, and like Shea, I would’ve done anything to be free.

  I scribbled in my notebook and handed it to Trina. I understand, more than I want to.

  She sighed. “Me too. All of us at Forever Home do. It’s what brings us together.”

  “YOU DON’T HAVE TO COME in,” Trina said when we pulled into the parking lot of Forever Home.

  I nodded, climbing out of the truck on Shadow’s side.

  He hugged me. “We worried about you last night, even though we knew you were with Shea. Shit happens. Please don’t be afraid of the shelter. Trina and the girls nursed us back to health here. It doesn’t always have to be bad.”

  That was exactly why I wanted to go in.

  Kiera and Lyssie had been hard at work. Lights and garland hung from the walls, and everyone had bows. Dogs and cats wore them around their neck, and the birds, reptiles, and bunnies had them on their cages.

  “Boy are we glad to see you,” Lyssie said, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. She wore a smock that was still damp. She was the shelter groomer. “The phone’s been ringing off the hook with Christmas requests.”

  “I love that and hate it at the same time. I want everyone to find a home, but I’m scared around the holidays that they’ll be forgotten when the novelty of the present wears off,” Trina said, picking up a yappy little dog that had been bouncing at her feet.

  “That’s why we waited for you.” Kiera stood, a cat over her shoulder. “Delaney, there’s cupcakes in the kitchen. Chocolate mint.”

  I looked around, trying to figure out who got adopted.

  “Everyone’s still here, for now,” Kiera continued. “But we’ve decided to celebrate every day for Christmas. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a good one, like since I went in the army. I’m overdue.”

  I nudged Trina.

  “Shea invited us to celebrate Christmas with the Lowes,” Trina announced. The room fell silent, the girls exchanging glances. Crap. “I want us all to be there. Things have been tough with them, but maybe this will be the change we need.”

  “You’re right,” Lyssie was the quietest of the three, and she always chose her words carefully. I identified with her the most. I didn’t know what got her here, but I knew she had to fight every day to be strong. “We want the same things. To be happy and safe. So what if we have different ideas how to get there. We need each other.”

  Chapter Nine

  Shea

  “You did what?” Major groaned, squinting at me in disbelief as Emma climbed him like her own personal jungle gym.

  “I invited the Channings and the Forever Home girls to Christmas.” I didn’t give a fuck what he thought. All of us were starting something new. Major and Cass, the Channings and the shelter girls, and now me and Delaney.

  She sat by my side, clutching my arm as she absorbed Major’s disapproval.

  Cass kicked him playfully. Their constant pawing at each other didn’t make me so sick anymore, now that I had someone I wanted to do the same thing with.

  “Lighten up, Major. You and the Channings have always been at each other throats. Drives me crazy. I think you’re trying to cover up the potential for a wicked bromance. I’d love to see the Channings, and I want to meet the women who saved your lives. They’re always welcome in my house.”

  “Your house, huh?” Major pulled her into his lap. Emma scrambled on top of them, and we couldn’t see my brother anymore. He chuckled. “Shadow thinks he’s the alpha? The ladies are running the show. Since I’ve lost all control over the situation, we’ll make it a party. You know it’s the full moon that night.”

  “No Full Moon Fever parties at Christmas.” Cass laughed. “Unless you want Mrs. Claus to show up riding a mechanical bull.”

  “Major throws the best parties,” I told Delaney, leaning in for a kiss. Today had been torture without her. I craved that laugh. In a week and a half it had become the soundtrack for my heartbeat. I’d always put my middle finger up at the legends that said we knew when we’d found our mates, because it wasn’t ever going to happen for me. Until I got sideswiped by a human with a laugh like a birdsong, who tasted like lollipops.

  “You don’t need to go to them anymore.” Cass raised an eyebrow, beaming at us. “Unless you want to show Delaney Red Heaven.”

  “What’s Red Heaven?” Emma asked. Delaney nodded, putting her hands up.

  Major’s head popped up out of the pig pile. “A place you’ll never go to, little girl. Shea, you can explain it to Delaney.”

  Emma jumped off her mom’s lap and wriggled between us. She didn’t care about me anymore, she was all about Delaney. “Do you live here now?”

  Delaney met my gaze, biting her lip. Our afternoon away from each other made me realize how much we clicked. I ached with her gone for that short amount of time. Her expression said everything she couldn’t.

  She wanted to be here.

  Again this woman brought me to a place where words were fucking trivial. Maybe that’s why she didn’t talk. It was all just noise.

  “Let’s leave these two alone and get you in the bath.” Cass picked Emma up. “No one wants a dirty little girl climbing all over them.”

  “We’re happy to have you, Delaney.” I couldn’t believe those words came out of Major’s mouth. She was human. Off limits. “Anyone who can shut this guy up is all right in my book. But don’t make your decision too soon. My brother still sleeps in a racecar bed.”

  Major whacked the back of my head before leaving the room.

  “He’s full of shit. I’ll show you, any time you’re ready. But I’m warning you. If you come in my bedroom, I can’t be responsible for what happens next.”

  She motioned across her body, making the sign for ready.

  My heart pounded so hard I expected my ribs to crack.

  “Are you sure?” I asked.

  She did it again. Who the fuck was I, talking a woman out of having sex with me? Especially this one, who I wanted worse than anything. She left me with a gnawing in my belly, needing to know every inch of her body. But I couldn’t fuck this up.

  Shit, if she’d wanted perfect, she wouldn’t be with me.

  Delaney took my hands in hers, leaning in for a kiss. I fell back against the couch, letting her land on my chest. She braced herself, and straddled my stomach. The heat from between her legs seared me, short circuited my brain. There was an animal inside of her too, begging to be set free.

  I was hard as a fucking rock, thinking how wet she must be, her legs grinding against my belly in rhythm with the kiss. She was in total control, holding my face steady while she nipped and explored. If she kept this up, we weren’t going to make it to the bedroom.

  I growled against her lips, and her head fell back as she sighed, exposing the long line of her neck, her eyes closed. She was so gorgeous with her hair escaping her ponytail, curls as wild as we were about to be. I scooped her up, and carried her up the stairs while I could still walk.

  Delaney felt it too. She kissed the crook of my neck, clawing into my skin like she knew she commanded every last shred of my control. This was the power I wanted her to feel. To know that she could be fucking invincible if she just believed it.

  I stopped at the top of the stairs, peeking around the corner. Water splashed from behind the bathroom door and Emma shrieked. I loved the kid, but that wasn’t the kind of play I was in the mood for.

  “Coast’s clear,” I murmured in Delaney’s ear. She nodded against my shoulder, knowing exactly what I meant.

  Kicking open my door, I tossed Delaney on my bed a little harder than I expected. I couldn’t be rough with her. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure which o
ne of us was more terrified, her or me. I wouldn’t ruin this.

  She laughed when she bounced on the mattress, and the look in her eyes had nothing to do with fear. My girl was so brave.

  I crawled on the bed, caging in her body. “See? No little kid bed. There’s plenty of room for the two of us to get wild.”

  She tensed, and my heart stopped.

  ”Have you ever done this before? Because you wanted to?” I assumed the worst when it came to her past.

  Her eyes darkened, nightmares flickering in the shadows. My stomach churned at the possibilities. She shook her head.

  “I don’t know what happened to you, and I’d do anything to take it away. All I can do is show you that when I touch you, it’s because I want you to be happy. Sometimes I’m afraid to talk, too, angel. Words scare the shit out of me. That’s why we get each other. Please let me show you what you mean to me.”

  Delaney grabbed me by the neck, sending me crashing on top of her. Her hands roamed my back, rubbing, gripping, scratching through the fabric. She had fire coursing through her; I’d never been so sensitive to a woman’s touch before. This is what it was like when it meant something. Not a meaningless fuck with a girl I’d forget in the morning. This time I’d wake up and do it all over again. Hopefully forever. It put my mind at peace.

  “Thank you,” I said, barely able to stop kissing her long enough to speak. “For taking a chance on me when everyone warned you away. You didn’t listen to that shit. You have no idea what that means to me.”

  She rested her fingers against my mouth. It could’ve meant a million different things. I couldn’t think straight right now. I licked them, sucking her fingers into my mouth, swirling my tongue around them. She moved them back and forth, exploring me, speaking a language that only the two of us shared.

  Fuck everyone else. Seriously. All that mattered was this woman lying under me.

  Delaney gasped when my hands slid up under her shirt.

  “Are you okay with this?” I asked. She was velvet soft against my rough fingers. If she told me to stop it would wreck me, but I’d do it.

  Instead she pulled her shirt up over her head. A thin sports bra was all that remained between us, her pebbled nipples strained against the fabric. Slow and steady. That’s what she needed. Not the million miles an hour we’d been moving. I needed to stop time. Later. I brought my mouth down on the fabric, taking her breast in my mouth, licking and teasing, but not quite touching. Her breath stuttered, bare tummy rising and falling with each stroke.

  Her breath became frantic when I pushed the bra up, exposing her tits. They weren’t big but they were perfect. Almost. A collection of scars marred her ribcage. Slashes. Someone had cut her with a knife. I pulled her closer, pissed off at myself that I had no idea that somewhere in time, some asshole treated her like a punching bag. I kissed the thin white line below her breast, dragging my hair across them before taking the peaks in my mouth. Delaney’s back curled up off the bed, her mouth opening in an O. I wanted her to cry out, and for fuck’s sake, she would. I wouldn’t deny her a single drop of pleasure.

  Her hands said everything she couldn’t. She knotted her fingers in my hair, mashing me against her body, pulling me away when she needed a breather, then pushing me down to her belly. The scent of her arousal snapped my animal awake. I needed to be inside her.

  I was losing my mind, going this slowly. I couldn’t slam into her like my body was begging me to. This had to be more pleasure than pain. This was all new for me, too, caring about someone more than myself. I wanted her happiness more than anything else on earth.

  “I’m afraid I’m going to crush you,” I whispered against Delaney’s cheek. I had to kiss her again, absorb the feeling of her bare skin against mine. She shook her head, curling her fingers in my hair and pulling me in closer than I thought was possible. We could combust any second. I ran my hand up her ribcage, settling on her breast. Her heart pounded underneath my touch. I circled her nipple with my thumb and forefinger, and she cried out against my mouth when I pinched it.

  “Oooh. I like that. Don’t hold anything back, angel. It’s just you and me. Nothing exists outside this room.”

  Delaney was full of surprises. She let go of my hair, her hands wandering over my bare back. At first her touch was so light it tickled, but she got bolder, grabbing me when the next kiss got too intense, and her fingernails left trails in my skin when I moved down to her chest.

  I kissed a line down her stomach. It rose and fell like ocean waves during a violent storm. Shit, she was terrified. Maybe I read this wrong. I rolled off her, leaning against the wall. I tipped my head back, trying to catch my breath.

  Delaney hadn’t moved. She lay unblinking on the bed, her eyes glassy and her mouth open. Her tummy gave away all her secrets, the storm had yet to quiet. I jumped up, tearing open a drawer and looking for any paper. I found some old legal papers, probably from the last time I was on probation. I smoothed it out and lay it beside her on the bed with a pen.

  “You have to tell me what you’re thinking right now. I want you more than I want to breathe, but not unless you want the same thing. No matter how you have to tell me, you always have a voice with me. If you want me to strip you down and kiss every inch of your body, that’s what I’m going to do. But if not, I’ll stop. You know I’m not romantic.” I took a deep breath. “Now I know why wolves mate for life. I never understood before I met you.”

  I pushed the paper toward her. She rolled over on her stomach, picking up the pen without any hesitation.

  You accepted me just how I am. I’m sick of being different and you don’t treat me like that. Usually I crawl back into my shell, the cage I build for myself, because if I don’t try anything, I can’t get hurt. With you I feel safe.

  We’re not that different. People make assumptions about you too. And they’re wrong. I think that’s why we feel this way about each other. Or I feel this way about you. I know we just met each other, but all I can think about is you. That’s got to mean something, right?

  I’m not a doll. I won’t break. I’ve already been broken. You put me back together.

  I read the note twice. The words danced on the page and I had to make sure I was reading them right.

  “I won’t make any guarantees. But I can tell you this won’t be the best sex ever, because every time after this will get better and better. If that’s what you want.”

  Delaney sat up. Her hair was wild from our kiss, her nipples upturned like they’d finally found the sun. I was lost in her vortex. She hooked her fingers in the waistband of my jeans, catching me completely off-guard when she pulled me in for another kiss. She trembled under my touch, but at least now I knew with absolutely certainty what she wanted. And if it wasn’t clear before, there was no mistaking her intentions when she unbuckled my belt and lowered my fly.

  Holy fuck. I felt like I was the virgin. I pushed my jeans away, no need to tease. I wasn’t going to last long. Delaney gasped when she saw my cock, then again when I pulled her pants down her legs. She unhooked them from her feet, unable to meet my eyes.

  It took every drop of my being to not take her right then.

  “You’re beautiful.” I tipped her face up to mine. “And I’m psyched to be your first. Now I get to show you everything.”

  Some of the fear faded from her eyes, replaced with excitement. I took her hand in mine, placing it on my shaft. I almost came as soon as she wrapped her fingers around it. We moved up and down together. She didn’t need much instruction, and I let go, letting her explore on her own. “What you’re doing feels so fucking good. I’m sensitive right under the tip. Fuck yes, there, and my balls. Don’t be shy. Explore all you want. You’re going to know my body better than I do by the end the night.”

  I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Her skin was flushed, and her eyes were on fire. She rolled her thumb over the tip of my cock, and the sensation rollicked through my body like an electric shock. She giggled, her gaze meeting mine
before she lowered her lips down. She kissed the tip before taking me in her mouth.

  This was it, the end. The electricity shot through my body and this sweet little angel was going to kill me with her lips on my dick. She was pure velvet heat, sucking my shaft. It wasn’t perfect, but that was what made it so fucking good. She let herself be free, and I wasn’t sure which one of us was more animal.

  I pulled her away from me, smothering her mouth in a kiss. This time she tasted salty and sweet and I couldn’t get enough of her.

  “I’m going to do this backwards.” I panted against her shoulder, flipping on her back. “I need to fuck you now, then I can go slow. You’re making me lose my mind.”

  Her hips moved wildly underneath me. I pushed her legs apart, angling my shaft to enter her. She cried out as I slipped inside. Shit. I was hurting her. “We’re going to fit together. Trust me.” She nodded, accepting my kiss. Inch by inch I crawled inside her.

  Now I knew what home felt like. How it felt to be inside another person, really inside them. Their heart and their soul. I’d be nothing without this woman. I slid back slowly, doing my best to control my rhythm. She was tiny and tight. She felt fucking amazing, but I wanted this to be good for her.

  Delaney hooked her ankles around me, riding my thrusts. Her head fell back, little cries escaping from those sweet lips.

  “Louder,” I groaned. “Don’t hold back.”

  She let out a holler, much louder than I expected.

  “Feel good?” I asked.

  Her eyes were on fire.