First Comes Like

by Alisha Rai

  “Oh yes, the view. I’m talking about this.” He gestured.

  She followed him to a small house and squealed. “A little house?”

  “Yes.” He smiled at her excitement and unlocked the door. Inside was a surprisingly spacious one-bedroom, one-bath home.

  “I love it.” She brushed her fingers over the white-and-black-checkered countertop.

  “I thought it could be yours,” he said quietly.

  Like, as her studio? Her fake home for social media? She opened her mouth, to tell him that was perfect, but then he continued, “I thought, instead of bringing a suitcase like you’re doing now, in the beginning at least, you could have your privacy here.”

  Jia blinked at him, uncertain if Dev was saying what she thought he was saying. “You want me to live in here? Even though we’re married?”

  “For a little while, sure. You could have your independence, and we can slowly get accustomed to living together.”

  She squinted at him. What on . . . “So you would live in the main house, and I would live here.”

  “Temporarily.” He paced to the window and looked out. “I think this place has a better view than the house, to be honest.”

  She didn’t care about the view. Had he lost all his marbles?

  He’s sane. He doesn’t want to be with you. Jia closed her eyes. The confidence she’d so carefully cultivated since before her wedding deflated like a sad balloon. She was too much, and he didn’t want to even live in the same house as her after their marriage. She’d annoyed him or frustrated him or she was too needy.

  “Jia?”

  She opened her eyes. “Hmm.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  What could she say? No, it wasn’t okay, but there was nothing she could do about that. She couldn’t make him want to spend time with her. “Hmm.”

  She wasn’t sure what she said to him after that, only that they drove back to Santa Monica in silence. She stirred when they pulled into the garage. “I have to go to my place,” she said quietly.

  “Do you need more clothes?”

  Sure. “Yeah. And I need to see Katrina and Rhiannon.” Hopefully they’d be home.

  “Jia . . .” Dev held her arm when she would have gotten out. “You don’t seem . . . right. Are you sure everything’s okay?”

  “Everything’s fine.” You bought me a house and told me you don’t want to live with me in it. After not even being married to me for a week. The honeymoon was most definitely over. “I’ll see you in a little while.” And because she’d somehow fallen for her dense husband, she kissed him on the cheek.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  JIA HADN’T expected a party when she got home but when she opened the door to Katrina’s house, that was what it sounded like was happening. She followed the noise to the kitchen, where she found Katrina, Rhiannon, and Lakshmi gathered around the kitchen table. They wore comfortable clothes and had fruity drinks spread out in front of them, and the music piping through the speakers was loud. Prince, if Jia wasn’t mistaken.

  They looked up when she walked in. “Well, well, well, look who decided to leave her man for a few—” Rhiannon started, then broke off. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” Jia said.

  “You’re crying,” Lakshmi pointed out, with a trace of panic in her voice, and came to her feet. “Again.”

  Jia brushed her fingers over her cheeks. “Oh, am I?” She wished she’d thought to tape some affirmations for herself, but she’d had none to play while she drove up. Of course she’d cried.

  The other women all glanced at one another. Katrina pasted a determined smile over her face. “Jia, come sit down.”

  It was too much work to pretend nothing was wrong, so Jia did just that, dropping down into a seat at the table. “Are you hungry?” Katrina continued, but she didn’t wait or seem deterred by Jia’s anemic no. She whirled away to the fridge, and Jia didn’t bother to protest. If the world was ending, Katrina would pause while they were all running from zombies to make sure everyone was stuffed. That was how she rolled.

  Rhiannon scooched her chair closer to Jia. “What happened? Did that inspirational body builder comment something passive-aggressive on one of your posts?” Her words were light but her eyes were serious.

  Jia shook her head, wishing the water would stop leaking from her eyes. “No.”

  Lakshmi returned with a roll of paper towels and tore off a handful for Jia. “Is it your husband?”

  Rhiannon gave a low growl in her throat when Jia buried her face in the towels. “Do we need to kill him, Jia?”

  “We don’t kill anyone,” Lakshmi chided her boss. “Sienna, turn off.”

  The pleasant female robot voice came from the speakers. “Sienna is turning off.”

  Lakshmi waited a beat, then leaned forward. “You want us to kill him?”

  Jia choked out a laugh. Katrina placed a sandwich in front of her, and she picked up a triangle to give her hands something to do. “No. There’s no need for violence. It’s dumb. He did something that was objectively thoughtful, and I got my feelings hurt.” She nibbled at the sandwich.

  “What did he do?”

  “He bought us a house.”

  “Well, that is nice,” Katrina said as she sat down. She picked up her daiquiri and took a sip. “But that can’t be the only thing he did. Did you disagree on what house to buy?”

  “No, because I didn’t know what house he was going to buy. He just bought it. Like, done deal.”

  Lakshmi drew in a sharp breath. “Oh no. I would hate that.”

  “I did, at first, and then I saw the house, and it’s exactly what I would have wanted. So I kinda lost my annoyance over that.”

  “Then why did you come here crying?” Rhiannon asked slowly.

  “Because the place has a little house in the back, and he said I could stay there,” Jia wailed.

  The women exchanged a look. “Wait. Like, by yourself?” Rhiannon asked.

  Jia nodded and swiped the rough towel over her nose.

  “Did you ever discuss living separately before?”

  “No,” Jia said.

  Lakshmi picked up her drink. “I know you don’t drink, honey, but you sure you don’t want a shot?”

  Jia might have snatched the bottle of tequila if she didn’t know even a sip would leave her ill tomorrow.

  Rhiannon drummed her fingers on the table. “I don’t understand. He doesn’t want to live with you?”

  Self-pity settled into Jia’s bones. “I guess not.”

  “That doesn’t sound right,” Katrina said slowly. “You’ve been telling us every thoughtful thing this guy has been doing for weeks. Why would he suddenly run cold like this?”

  Jia dashed at her eyes with the backs of her hands. “Because he realized he doesn’t like me, only we’re married now, and he can’t back out.”

  “Eh.” Lakshmi shook her head. “There’s ways out. That doesn’t hold water. There’s no need to banish you to the basement.”

  “Then maybe he didn’t want it in the first place. Maybe he got pressured into everything and he’s making the best of a bad situation. Maybe he just wanted the money from his inheritance.”

  “In that case, fuck him.” Rhiannon wrapped her arm around Jia’s shoulders, and she leaned into her friend’s side. “Tomorrow, we’ll go get your stuff from his place.”

  Something broke in Jia at the thought of never seeing Dev again. Oof, that would hurt way more than any catfishing could.

  Lakshmi cracked her knuckles. “We can still kill him, if you like. Make it look like an accident.”

  “Wait, wait, wait.” Katrina reached across the table and grasped Jia’s hands. “Let’s all take a second. Jia, did you ask him why he did this?”

  “No.”

  “Because as someone who has been with someone for a minute now who doesn’t like talking or explaining themselves but is selfless almost to a fault, I can tell you that occasionally you have to directly as
k them why they’re doing what they do. You might be surprised by the answer. No one tells you that this is a big part of relationships. Sometimes it’s not all about big misunderstandings.” Katrina’s eyes were warm and kind. “Sometimes it’s about learning how to talk to each other. We all have insecurities, and we have to help each other navigate around them.”

  “Ugh.” Jia scrubbed her eyes. “It’s so much work.”

  “Yeah, I know. I’d like to say it’s always worth it. For some people, it isn’t. I think for you, it could be.”

  Lakshmi handed her another paper towel, and Jia dabbed at her eyes. “What if he gives me a terrible answer? How will I recover?”

  “With us, silly,” Katrina said matter-of-factly. “With your sisters. Ain’t no man in the world who is impossible to recover from. You only need the right support to do it.”

  Jia sighed. “Loving people is so annoying.”

  “It is,” Rhiannon agreed. “I also have good feelings about you and Dev, though.” She rose to her feet. “Just in case . . . Sienna, turn back on and tell us what the maximum murder sentence is in the state of California.”

  Jia’s watery chuckle fell over Sienna’s robotic confusion. “I’m tired.”

  “Then you’ll sleep here,” Katrina said. She nudged Jia’s plate toward her, and Jia reluctantly picked up the rest of the sandwich. “Tomorrow, you’ll confront your husband and ask him what the hell he was thinking. And then you see what he says. He’ll either give you a good answer, or an answer that will result in us preventing Lakshmi from putting a hit on him.”

  Lakshmi nodded, mouth turned down. “I am on board with this, though I really hate how little you all utilize my dark web skills.”

  “So much for all my newfound confidence and not caring what people think of me,” Jia said glumly to Lakshmi.

  “One, it’s your husband. You can care what he thinks of you. Two, did you miss the part where I told you it took me years of therapy to get that kind of confidence? I gave you this magical tool like two minutes ago. Have a little patience.”

  Jia’s spirits rose a little. “That’s true.”

  Rhiannon looked between them. “What are you two talking about? Are you friends now?”

  “We’re getting there.” Lakshmi winked at Jia. “Which is good. Trying to pass the Bechdel test with only you two is tough.”

  Jia glanced around the group. “Has someone else been having man problems?”

  “We were trying to explain to Katrina that Jas most definitely intended her ring as an engagement ring, but for someone who loves communication, she doesn’t want to clarify things with her boo,” Lakshmi explained.

  Katrina waved her hand. The diamond on it glinted. “It’s a promise ring!”

  Lakshmi snorted. “Get engaged already and put that man out of his misery.”

  “If you got engaged, Rhiannon probably won’t feel as bad about moving into Samson’s place,” Jia said, without thinking, then winced. “Oops. Sorry, Rhiannon.”

  Katrina turned to face her best friend. “What is she talking about? You want to move in with Samson?”

  Rhiannon’s lips thinned, but she sighed. “We’ve been talking about it.”

  “You should do it. Are you not doing it because of me?” Katrina’s face tightened. “Rhiannon, you’re gone more often than not right now anyway. Put your man out of his misery.”

  “I didn’t want you to think I was abandoning you!”

  “Neither of you is abandoning me. We’re not going to stop being friends, are we?” Katrina gestured at the table. “This group is staying intact, even if we all live under separate roofs. Don’t insult me by suggesting otherwise.”

  “So Rhiannon is moving in with her man, and Katrina and Jia are going to learn to communicate with theirs.” Lakshmi drained her glass. “And some day, we shall pass that elusive Bechdel.”

  An imp of mischief worked its way to Jia’s shoulder, and she welcomed it after her recent misery. “If we talk about your love life, Lakshmi, do we pass it?”

  “There’s no love life, so sure.”

  “None?” Jia took a larger bite of her sandwich. “It doesn’t take long to move from friend zone to end zone, I’m just saying.”

  Lakshmi gave a mock growl. Jia welcomed the chuckles, as well as the paper towel roll Lakshmi tossed at her. She wasn’t looking forward to asking Dev what he was thinking tomorrow, but at least for tonight, she’d be with the people who would help her if things went sour. She was a lucky girl, with or without a ring on her finger.

  Chapter Thirty

  DEV HAD never been an anxious person, but then again, he’d never had his new wife entirely shut down and suddenly run away. He’d texted Jia twice since she’d gone home, ostensibly to get more clothes, and her responses had been short and sweet, and delayed, like she didn’t have her phone perpetually in her hand. He hadn’t liked sleeping without her in their bed last night. When it had become their bed, he wasn’t sure.

  “Something is wrong.”

  He returned his attention back to his phone and his grandmother. She’d called from the beach to give him an update on Luna. “No, nothing. Let me speak to Luna.” He smiled at his niece. She was covered in sand, and dressed in a bright green two-piece swimsuit his grandmother had surely bought for her. “Hello, beti. Are you having fun and wearing sunscreen?”

  “Hi, Kaka. Yes. How are you and Jia, I mean, Auntie, settling in?”

  “Well,” he lied.

  Luna’s eyes flickered away, clearly distracted. “Good. Okay, I’m going to go. Adil Uncle found a Frisbee. Love you!”

  He paused. Had she ever told him she loved him before? He wanted her to say it again, in every language she knew, but she was already gone, his grandmother back. “She’s having fun,” he said, instead. Her skin had glowed with health and affection.

  “She is. Now, tell me what’s wrong.”

  His grandmother looked far too determined to put off, so he quickly told her about his problems at work, which were a problem, just not the problem.

  She made a dismissive gesture when he was finished. “Good riddance. Who cares. Make your own show.”

  “I can’t just make my own show. That’s not how things work.”

  “You can when you’re a Dixit. You miss your old show? Make it again, set it in America, for the American market. Done.”

  He stopped. It was almost exactly what Jia had suggested. “I can’t do that.”

  “You shaped a number of the arcs on your old show, so you can do it creatively. You’re about to receive a large sum of money, so you can do it financially. What is stopping you?”

  Nothing. He could do exactly what he loved, tell the stories he wanted to tell, in the location he wanted to be in. He could cast unknown talent, the actors Hollywood ignored. He could use his grandfather’s money for something good, to lift up people who weren’t lucky enough to be born Dixits, and entertain all classes of people. Oh, the old man would hate that. “It’s something to think about.”

  “Now, what’s really bothering you?”

  He didn’t want to tell his grandmother about Jia, but then he looked around his quiet flat again. “Jia went to her house yesterday and hasn’t come back.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know. I showed her the home I bought us, and she seemed to like it, but then she became upset and left.”

  “You didn’t seek her input in buying her own house?” Aji muttered a brief curse. “I did not teach any of you boys anything. A woman wants a say in where she is going to live, Devanand.”

  Oh. She had a point. Dev had never thought Jia might want to go through the tedious chore of finding a house and negotiating and closing. He rubbed his hands over his face. “I didn’t think of that.”

  His grandmother’s tone turned lecturing. “Here is what you’re going to do. When she gets over her anger and comes back, you will be nice to her, you will say sorry, and you will cook her a good meal. Understand?”

 
“Yes, Aji.”

  “Do not screw this up. You got a sweet girl. A miracle you found her, really, when you’re such a house chicken.”

  His lips twitched. “Yes, Aji.”

  She sniffed. “It is good I am here to give you advice.”

  Dev cradled his phone. “It is good. Have you considered extending your trip?”

  “For how long?”

  “Indefinitely.”

  Shweta gave an incredulous laugh. “I don’t belong here.”

  “Says who? Don’t you like it?”

  “Of course I like it.”

  Dev fiddled with a pen. “I think Luna is happier when we’re both regularly in her life. She’ll probably adjust better to Jia if she could visit you whenever she wished it.”

  Aji looked toward the ocean. A lock of silver hair fell over her forehead. “I do miss her.”

  His heart swelled at the gruff admission. “She misses you. I do not like thinking I took her away from you. If you came here for extended visits, even, it would be good.”

  “There is more freedom here, is there not? No one standing outside the gates, no one paying attention to me when I go to the market.”

  “There is.”

  “I like attention, but not having it sometimes has its perks,” Aji mused. “I will consider it.”

  “Good.”

  “Chandu would come with me, though.” There was a gleam in his grandmother’s eye that Dev had not expected to ever see. “We are enjoying each other’s company, if you know what I mean.”

  Ew. That is, he was happy for his grandmother. But it was his grandmother. And his agent.

  Ew.

  The front door opened and closed, and Dev straightened, relieved on every possible axis. “Jia’s here. I must go.”

  Shweta’s laugh was throaty. “Good luck.”

  Dev hung up and placed his phone on the island as Jia appeared in the kitchen. “Hello,” he said, stilted. He gestured at his phone. “I was talking to my family.”

  Her eyes were shadowed. Were they bloodshot? Had she been crying? “How is everyone?”

  “Good.”

  She drifted into the kitchen, pulled out a stool next to where he sat, and clasped her hands on the granite counter. They were both silent for a moment, and then both spoke at once. “I’m sorry—”