Taming a Raven

by Kathleen Lash

  She swal owed and took in a deep breath. She’d not even gotten to the part she was hesitant to relay. She hoped he could see past her cowardice.

  “I’ve trained for battle, fought many times in simulation. The true thing however takes quite a bit of—I can walk in two realities but never attempted to do such for a prolonged time while being both Reina and…” Her lips sealed tight, wouldn’t budge as she tried finding words.

  “Don’t cry,” he said, wiping the single tear she couldn’t hold. “There’s no need to rush. Try again when you’re ready.”

  “I believe I wasn’t at my level best when we were placed on Infur.”

  “Considering the few days prior and your time in medical, I’d say that’s a fair assumption.” His nonchalant recap al owed her to release some of the anxiety.

  “Before I could lead Brach into the jungle, Theazians besieged us. I knew they wanted me. I had most unpleasant musings of what might happen if they seized me. I fought until I couldn’t.” He grew tense but the continuous stroke of his thumb remained gentle. “I gave up. I let predatory instincts take me so I wouldn’t have to face what happened. And when I couldn’t drive the urges down, I asked you to end…”

  “Nothing came of it, Reina.”

  “I didn’t want to disgrace my clan. Such things have happened before and those who’ve lost themselves in either fight or flight are stricken from the clan. Their very existence is erased. Their name is taken from the Book of Remembrance. The remedy for lunacy is singular. I simply didn’t want anyone else to witness…”

  “Regardless of what’s taken place, you’re here now, a whole being with clarity of mind.” She sniffed and swal owed and rubbed his upper arms because she’d been holding him very tight.

  “The fact that I’m sane again doesn’t excuse my cowardice.”

  “I don’t believe you’l refer to yourself in such a manner again.”

  “But—”

  “Have I not made myself clear?”

  “Yes. You have.”

  “Ordering you not to say it though, doesn’t necessarily mean you stil won’t view yourself as a coward. Have I made a correct assumption from the way you agreed?”

  “Yes,” she said very softly.

  “I’ve seen cowardice, Reina. I can detect it at a distance. It smel s of something sour and your scent is quite sweet.” She looked into his eyes and found his expression to be serious. “You’re very brave.”

  “Truly?”

  “Oh, sweet one, truly.” His eyes closed and he began a rhythmic penetration and retreat. “And squeeze me again as you did a moment ago.”

  “I’m afraid I don’t have control of that particular part of me.” He drew back and thrust firmly into her.

  “Are you sure?” When he withdrew and hurried back, she felt her passage clench.

  “It appears you have control of it, Gage.”

  The vibration from his laughter tickled her bel y. “Then I suppose I should test its responsiveness.”

  “Yes, I believe you should,” she said, raising her hips to meet his thrusts.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “You’l be cared for, I promise,” Gage said.

  Reina couldn’t believe she’d been shunned by her clan. He’d waited until after dinner the fol owing eve to tel her.

  “It’s not my want to be cared for, Sir,” Reina replied.

  No longer welcome on Haven, she’d managed to get a longstanding wish. She’d probably see many worlds and learn of other cultures. Who would have her now? He’d been careful to spel her situation out in the gentlest manner possible. She found her hands and feet numb from cold.

  “Have you explained to the Materna that I’ve recovered?” His silence relayed the answer. “I see.” Stil seated beside him after their meal, she wished he wouldn’t have waited. Her food wasn’t sitting quite right. With downcast eyes, she bordered on rudeness and dared to ask, “May I stay with you?”

  He gathered her hands into his before leaning forward. He rubbed her as if to warm her fingers. The look on his face didn’t lend reassurance, nor did his posture. “Reina, sweet one…”

  He sounded so very sad and she’d no right to place him in such an awkward position. She sought to correct her blunder. “I’m sorry, Sir, forgive me. Of course I can’t, that’s obvious.”

  “Reina…”

  “No, please,” she said, careful y pul ing her hands away. “You’ve no need to explain.” It was no time for tears so she forced them down. She caressed the side of his face and felt the tickling sensation across her fingers. She stood. “If you’l excuse me, General, I’l ready myself for departure.”

  She placed a kiss on top of his head, took in his scent and couldn’t stop herself from stroking his light, shining hair. Love wasn’t meant to be given to a male, not by a raven. Obviously she should’ve been whipped over missing that lesson as wel . With her heart breaking, she left before he saw her crying.

  She had time to purge the tears in her chamber and brighten her expression before she’d see him again.

  * * * * *

  It took several hours for the Raze to dock. Reina might’ve asked to observe had her heart not been in her boots. Such things once held importance to her. When Major Deacon summoned her from the chamber, she saw Gage being led from his. His wrists were bound behind his back. He looked tal and proud as soldiers escorted him. The baby major grasped her arm when she attempted to go to the general. “Lady Reina, please don’t make this more difficult for him.”

  “But why are they taking him?”

  “He hasn’t explained?”

  “No, Sir.”

  Guards moved Gage forward before he stopped and turned toward the major. His expression held malice. “I’l kil you if you say a word to the lady. I swear it. Colonel LeRoy’s been given instructions.” His look softened when his gaze met hers. Again she tried going to him but the major held tight.

  Before the escort could budge him, Gage said, “And you’l take your hands from her.” Pushed forward, he shrugged as if to remove the hands of the men he walked between. Once they were alone, the major released her. “We won’t worry about Colonel LeRoy at the moment, Lady. We’ve more pressing issues. My father hasn’t been given the detail of what al ’s taken place.”

  “What’s that got to do with the general, Sir?”

  “He’s being taken to stand trial for disobeying orders and placing my life in jeopardy.” Astonished, she said, “Your life, Sir, was most certainly in jeopardy prior to the general’s arrival. Is your father dense?” He grimaced at her remark. “Perhaps when you have his ear, Lady, you’l not mention that notion to him.”

  “I’l have words with your father, President Deacon?”

  “Yes, Lady, he requested a meeting with you prior to General Ryker’s court-martial.”

  “Me?” Her voice squeaked.

  “Indeed, he waits for us now.”

  Pinski and Lobank rounded the corner and Pinski rushed to her. “Lady, we’re to see the president.”

  “Don’t worry, Pinski, there’s nothing to fear,” she said, stroking her light hair. The Governance president!

  “We need to hurry, Lady,” Major Deacon said.

  “I wil , Sir, after you’ve explained what your father requires and why the general was taken from his ship in restraints. Not until.”

  “I’l give the detail on the way as wel as some words of caution when addressing your president, Lady.”

  “I’l fol ow no man who puts the likes of General Ryker in cuffs, Sir. As of now, I have no clan and belong to no world. Your father, nor any other being, has a hold over me.”

  His eyes rounded in surprise. “But Haven—”

  “Is no longer my home. My clan’s refused to accept me, Sir. I didn’t stutter. What portion didn’t you understand?”

  “My pardon, Lady, I’d no idea. They actual y said you’d not be welcome?” How many times would she need to repeat it? “Please,” he said, “come with me and yo
u’l be briefed.”

  She’d been briefed. She then wished to be informed.

  * * * * *

  After such a rush to get to the president’s chambers, she’d been made to wait hours as he cal ed and questioned Colonel LeRoy, Dr. Nare, Engineer Dunn, Lieutenant Graham, Corporal Lobank, and Private Pinski. The baby major sat with her, having seen his father before any of the others. He patiently explained the details of the charges filed against the general and what could happen.

  After sitting quietly for a few additional hours, she relaxed, closed her eyes and focused on the general. Flying deftly through the massive compound, she eventual y found him. He sat tiredly on a most uncomfortable-looking bed inside a cel , his elbows resting on his knees, his head hung.

  His words came to her, although he didn’t look up to see if she were actual y there. “You’re tempting disaster by taking flight without someone to guide you, Lady. Leave this place and don’t come to me again.”

  He’d disobeyed orders. Judgment and punishment were at hand. A normal being never enjoyed the prospect of punishment. She knew that firsthand.

  You should’ve left us.

  “I’ve no regret of my actions,” he said.

  Then why are your shoulders so low?

  “Leave now, Reina!”

  “Lady,” she heard the major say. Her eyes came open and she found him standing a foot away. “He wishes to speak with you now.” Rebel ion made her decline the use of more appropriate clothing and she somewhat regretted the stubbornness. She wanted the man to see her as a raven, the animal Gage set after to save. Her steps were slow as she entered the chamber and took in the beautiful furniture. The man had many elaborate gadgets at his disposal. Such wondrous things she had a bit of knowledge about, al for the pleasure and education of a single being!

  He stood behind the intricately carved desk sitting above everything else in the room. Of course he perched himself in such a position, his height a mere six feet. He needed some form of leverage to look down on those who served. Pompous ass!

  He came down the few stairs and took her hand into his before she offered it. The amber of his eyes, the warmth of his regard and the mass of longish, gray hair disarmed her for a moment. And then she remembered he’d had her general arrested.

  “Lady Reina, thank you for your patience.”

  Something about the man seemed familiar. She knew his history, studied it as a child because he ultimately protected her world. The warmth of his hands, the gentle caress of his thumbs caused further disorientation. “Leave us, Blaize. The lady and I have much to talk about.” The major saluted him, cast a concerned glance at her and left. The president drew her to a comfortable-looking piece of furniture. He gestured for her to sit and once she had, he sat directly beside her. Staring at her for a long moment, he eventual y smiled. “Lady, I haven’t had the pleasure of being in the presence of a raven in a number of years. Your beauty charmed me from thought for a moment. Wil you forgive me?”

  “Of course, Sir,” she replied, making herself blurt out the appropriate response.

  His complete regard disturbed her and she forced herself to appear at ease. He shouldn’t be staring so. It wasn’t only rude, it made her unsure what course of action to take. His look conveyed delight rather than curiosity. She wondered why.

  “Lady Nakita accompanied me on many missions. You resemble her most closely.” Unbelievable! Materna Nikita seemed too set in her ways to fly for anyone. “She and I were very close and I miss seeing her, speaking with her as I once did.”

  “I could only imagine, Sir,” she replied, speaking the truth in a manner. She could only ever imagine missing the materna because, personal y, she’d never longed for her presence.

  “I understand because you helped the Governance, you’ve been lost to the clan.”

  “You’ve been misinformed, Sir. I’ve not been lost, I’ve been shunned.”

  He took her hand into his once again. She became uneasy with his familiarity. “Your mother always looked to the needs of the clan first. The decision wil undoubtedly cause her great pain until her death.”

  The word mother didn’t sit wel in her mind. Materna meant mother of the clan, which a woman earned after a certain age. His reference had been different. She understood the disparity in meanings and thought on it for a while. He fil ed the silence by saying, “Al of the maternas wil miss you, little raven, but your mother most of al .”

  “She’s my birth mother?” Reina never questioned it before. They belonged to one clan with many mothers. Al those younger than a materna were considered sisters. The matter of who specifical y birthed a particular babe had never been questioned.

  “Yes, child, you came from her womb.”

  Then why did Nakita so often find use for the whip for minor transgressions? Certainly if Reina ever bore a young raven, that one special black-haired female would be her weakness, not her target. Materna Nikita loathed her. “I’m afraid your information is unreliable, Sir.”

  “Reina,” he said. “I understand how you’ve been reared. I’ve studied your clan and its peculiarities for years. This must al seem strange to you and I regret it, but it wil help explain what comes next.”

  “Sir?”

  “Reina, my dear, I’m your sire, your father.”

  She stood, her head reeling. She laughed at the absurdity of it al . “Then as my father, Sir, why would you threaten my home’s security? Wait, I’l reason that aloud if you’l give me but a moment. Because your son needed aid and the destruction of our clan was insignificant compared to the loss of your youngest male.”

  “No,” he said, standing himself. “That wasn’t the way of it. Please sit and I’l explain.” She’d prefer to stand and assumed a stance he might recognize. With her hands folded behind her back, she stood ready. He sighed before mimicking her posture.

  “Your age, your lessons and preparation have been made known to me these many years. Nakita al owed me that much involvement in your life. I didn’t, however, have knowledge that she’d been the only one to give birth in that span. She afforded scant knowledge about the health of the clan until after you’d been obtained by General Ryker. When I learned that you, my daughter, were to fetch Blaize…” She thought of something to say and did so. “Sir, it must have devastated you to order the general to leave the three of us to be blown to bits after he retrieved your son. Clearly though, I understand.” She’d pieced the knowledge together between conversations from the baby major, Pinski and Lobank.

  Tempers rose and she cocked her head to the side, waiting to see what he’d say on the matter. By her reckoning, the place of a father was similar to that of materna. At least that’s what she’d read in the text. His actions told their own story.

  “Young woman, your impertinence could get you punished.” It didn’t take long for him to move from enchanted father to disciplinarian. She could see it then—the materna and him together.

  “By al means, Sir, do your best. My preference is the whip. It’l teach me to hold my tongue—eventual y.” Giving him a moment, she asked, “Wil you do it here or wil you cal one of your soldiers to remove me? My mother never failed me in that regard. She saw to it I had every opportunity to—” He grabbed her arms and pul ed her to his chest. The air left her lungs with the squeezing embrace. “Don’t say such foul things. She wouldn’t do such to you! Take it back!”

  With his face buried in her hair, his grief came to her as surely as his breath. He let go suddenly and turned her. He lifted the back of her shirt before the shock and surprise al owed her to think. Father or not, he’d no right to touch her so. She jerked her shirt into place and crossed her arms. A chil ran down her spine when she felt the stroke of his hand down the length of her hair. He stepped around and came in front of her. He brought her forward for an embrace. It remained awkward for she refused to uncross her arms. He lessened his hold and stroked her arms instead.

  “She said you’d been punished because of your strong wil .
I thought you’d been spanked or left without a meal or… She told me you inherited your wil fulness from me. She blamed me. She hated me. She’d a right to it though.” He stepped back and framed her face with his palms. “A raven serving a commander never brought forth a pregnancy before. It was a first and entirely my fault. When we discovered she was breeding, she demanded to be returned to Haven. I granted her leave. My continued questioning of how you fared eventual y made her resentful.” She’d nothing to say because in her heart, she knew he told the truth. Could Materna Nakita have hated her because beings from outside the clan felt justified in questioning her? If she’d acted appropriately, would it even have mattered?

  He said, “I didn’t give the order for you to be left. Vice President El is acted improperly and took it upon himself to order the general to leave you. El is’

  been with me a number of years and thought to remedy my frustration when dealing with your mother.”

  “By kil ing me?”

  “He’s answered for his actions.”

  “As harshly as the general wil answer for his?”

  “I’ve seen to it and won’t be questioned further on the matter.” His fingers came beneath her chin so she’d look at him. “I so wanted a daughter. Your mother convinced me you’d never thrive without the clan. I foolishly believed her and you suffered for it.”

  “And your wife, Sir? There was the smal matter of a wife at your side, already having bore sons before I came along.”

  “She died before my travels with Nakita. I never kept one woman at my side while bedding another.” His hands left her face and she studied him. His sorrow and remorse appeared genuine. Something final y occurred to her and she smiled. “If you’re not upset with my presence, Sir, then the general actual y accomplished a goal for you by arranging to fetch me in the process of retrieving the major, correct? You’l release him?”