by Shayne Ford
His eyes glisten again, but there is no warmth in them. It’s hard to say whether there is a shred of emotion left in him for me or not. And frankly, I don’t care.
“I don’t want your words. We’re past that moment,” I say, calm and collected. “Good for you that you made a life for yourself and found a beautiful woman to warm up your bed, but I didn’t need to see all that with my own eyes. I don’t need to take that image with me in my empty home. And you don’t need to let her wait so you could catch up with some old flame you fucked on your way up.”
A muscle twitches in his jaw.
“Oh... I’m sorry. Did I hit a nerve? I’m sorry, baby, but see you need to learn a thing or two from people you fucked over. Truth is always more painful than the lies. That’s why people lie all the time. But you shouldn’t dislike the truth, Jaden. It’s freeing. You told me that one time. Remember? It’s good for me too. It helps me to put you, and our little story right behind me. To finally close that chapter of my life. To move on, as I’m sure you’d say. I’ll be honest with you. Tonight is gonna be a miserable night. I might need to get a couple of drinks and pay someone to fuck me so I can forget that I met you, but tomorrow is a new day. A different day. And it will be a better day than today. Every day that will follow will make me feel better and better as well. In time I’ll feel nothing for you, Jaden. I was not good enough for you. I got it. But even so, you didn’t need to play with my heart. I didn’t do anything bad to you.”
Silence thickens between us.
Quiet, he fumbles inside his jacket, looking for a cigarette. He comes empty handed.
“I’m sorry you feel that way,” he says.
“Go fuck yourself. I don’t need you to feel sorry for me. Now get out of my way.”
He crosses his arms over his chest and doesn’t move.
“Whatever...” I mutter as I pick up my clutch, gather the bottom of my skirt and slip by him.
“You’re not going anywhere,” he thunders behind me.
I laugh without turning.
“Watch me,” I throw at him without stopping, my voice filled with icicles.
7
SENNA
His arms unfold, quickly locking around me, and pinning me against the wall. His hands clutch my shoulders.
I don’t even fight him.
I only flash a cold, sarcastic smile.
“Really?”
“You need to listen to me, Senna.”
I sling him a defying look.
“Nope. I don’t need to do a fucking thing, Jaden. You lost that privilege when you walked out on me a year ago without the slightest explanation. Without a shred of care. Without a call or an email. A text or a sign from you. You can’t possibly think I’m interested in what you have to say after all this time. Had you had something to sort out with me you would’ve called me way before this day. We wouldn’t be stuck in this bathroom while a beautiful woman is waiting for you downstairs.”
His eyes drill me angrily, his jaw tightening even more while his lips start trembling with fury.
“You don’t believe half of what you just said,” he growls.
I laugh.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
He shakes his head, making my blood boil.
“I left. I know it hurt you, and it was painful for me as well, but I had my reasons, and you were one of them.”
I breathe out a careless chuckle.
He clips my chin and brings my eyes back to his.
“It’s the fucking truth. I didn’t choose it to be that way,” he says seriously.
“Nobody forced you to leave.”
“There was no place for me in your life.”
I look at him incredulously, my lips slowly parting and curving into a smile.
“Fucking arrogant asshole. I never said that. You felt that way. I didn’t make you feel that way.”
“You didn’t need to. I’m not a boy, Senna. I know who I am. I know what I want. And what I wanted back then was not within my reach.”
Fury flows through me.
I slap his chest forcefully.
“Get away from me.”
He takes a step back but not giving me enough room to leave.
“You did what you did for whatever reason, and now you’re feeding me a story that it’s supposed to make you look like a martyr while flattering me all the while. You know me better than that. I don’t buy this bullshit, Jaden. People do whatever the hell they want to. And no matter how nasty and hurtful it is to other people, they always find an explanation for their crap. It’s in their nature.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you.”
I can’t help but roll my eyes.
“Spare me, will you?”
I try to push him to the side and step away from him. He jerks my shoulders back against the wall.
I find a wicked pleasure in seeing him tormented.
“This is obviously not working for you, baby,” I mutter, my voice lined with irony.
His hand curls around my neck, with force this time. I gasp. The blood draining from my face.
“I don’t need your mockery,” he grunts. “All I need is you to listen to me.”
“Tough luck,” I say through clenched teeth. “That’s all you get.”
His fingers slacken for a moment as he looks down at me and shakes his head, a sad grin curling his lips.
He raises his gaze again.
“You are so fucking stubborn.”
“You knew that.”
He slowly sways his head side to side, still smiling. That beautiful grin that always made my heart warm.
“I didn’t know how deep your feelings ran,” he says with a softer voice. “I knew I’d hurt you, but I never thought I’d leave you scars.”
“Scars were not my problem. You warned me. Remember?”
His eyes glint with emotion this time.
“Yes, I do. But that was not my intention. The only reason I said that was to keep you away from me. To protect you. And me. To keep things the way they were. To stop them from changing us.”
“You’ve changed anyway.”
He looks at me, his gray eyes looking like a rainy sky.
“No, I haven’t. A lot of things have changed, but not me. I’m not happier than I was with you. I’m not different than I was with you. I have the same scars and ink under this shirt. I have the same blocks of ice in my soul. I have the same loneliness I always had. My life is so much better in so many many ways. But I’m just the same. All the things you said to me as hurtful as they were, they weren’t true. I didn’t use you. No matter which way we would’ve split, it would’ve felt the same way. I wanted to be your man. Not the poor guy you found on the street, or behind a club, or stabbed to death on a dirt road in the woods. At that point, I didn’t know if I could be that man. Same way you didn’t know whether you’d make it when you left home. Nobody knows those things. I didn’t know them either. I took a chance and luckily, it all worked out. But things could’ve been completely different.”
I look at him, dumbstruck.
“And what exactly was your plan, Jaden? To go out there, strike on your own, and come back to me?”
He studies my eyes for a moment.
He shakes his head again.
“No. I knew it was difficult to come back. I knew how you’d react. I see it now.”
“Was it worth it?”
“No. It was a loss either way, but I had to take a chance.”
“Well... you took it. And it paid off. Now that you made your money, you also got a prize,” I sneer.
He sinks his eyes into mine, a grin tugging at his lips.
“Your words can’t hurt me more than they already have,” he says.
“I hurt you?? Seriously? No, no. That wasn’t my intention. I was only stating a fact. So, who is she, by the way? Wife? Girlfriend? Hot date?”
“She’s a client,” he says, deadpan.
I look at him, thrown off for a moment.
&nb
sp; “You’re joking, right?”
He clicks his tongue.
“Nope. I’m not.”
I push his chest again. He doesn’t move.
“I don’t believe you.”
“It’s the truth.”
“You said you didn’t do women. Besides, the woman couldn’t be more smitten with you. She looked as if she was in love with you.”
“That’s my job,” he says, giving me a cocky grin.
My palm lands on his face. The light shatters in his eyes.
I no longer smile. He doesn’t either.
I can see the red traces of my fingers on his face.
“I need to go,” I say, sensing a wave of panic rising in me.
His grip hardens on my neck while his lips curl into a smirk.
He erases the last shred of space between us, and leans to me, as close as he can get, his lips almost touching mine while he speaks with hardly restrained fury.
“I didn’t want things to be like this, Senna. I didn’t want to hurt you as much as I didn’t want to hurt myself. I didn’t leave you because I didn’t love you. If anything, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. And I bet you couldn’t stop thinking about me either. No matter how many people were between us, and no matter who I fucked, you were the only one for me. I bet it was the same for you.”
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
He huffs and lowers his eyes to my lips, his fingers squeezing my chin like iron pliers. His eyes lift and dive into mine, and I suddenly feel open for him to read.
“How many men fucked you this past year?”
“That’s none of your fucking business,” I blurt out.
“Well, it is now.”
“Don’t fool yourself. I don’t want you back in my life.”
He smiles and lets that soft huff out again.
“It’s not up to you, baby.”
“Damn sure it is. I’d rather jump off a cliff than let you touch me again.”
He laughs for a moment before it all subsides to a small smile and he starts speaking with a quiet voice.
“Do you want to put it to the test?”
“I don’t need to.”
“Really?” he asks, his lips curving slightly, his thumb slowly tracing the column of my neck, his gaze dragging down to my collarbones and chest, smoothly weighing the swell of my breasts while dipping lower to my thighs.
He snakes an arm around my waist and pulls me into him. My dress starts melting into my skin.
“How does it feel, baby?” he murmurs in my ear.
His voice gives me a quick quiver while goosebumps dot my skin beneath his touch.
“Like a job well done,” I say.
He grins again and lowers his mouth, his hot breath trailing down my neck. The pleasure ripples across my chest and down my body, starting a storm between my legs.
“Tell me, Senna,” he murmurs against my skin, making me shudder against him.
He straightens and looks at me.
“How many men were with you?”
“I told you it’s none of your business, and whether there was one or many, it doesn’t make a fucking difference. I didn’t waste my time thinking about you.”
He laughs, sincerely amused.
“Was it good?”
“It was fantastic. The best fucking I’ve ever gotten.”
He still grins, but I see the glint of pain in his eyes.
“I’m sure you’ve got a lot of pleasure too,” I mutter.
“Pleasure. Yes. What I had with you? Nope.”
I bring my hand to his chest to push him away, but for some reason, I can’t do it.
“It’s useless. We can’t bring those times back. And there is nothing I can feel for you. Not in my body. And damn sure not in my heart.”
“You wanna bet?”
We lock eyes for a moment. I see the ghost of a smile in his gaze, and his sheer determination.
“So what do you plan on doing? Fucking me? I just told you it no longer works. I’m dead inside. That train has left the station. I’m rather warming up to my old fuck buddy who’s running a promotion right now and fucks me for free if that’s what you wanted to know since we’re back at sharing shit about our lives.”
His smile vanishes from his lips like it’s magic.
I tilt my head back and laugh in his face.
“What? You thought I’d wait for you? You really thought I’m that stupid?”
He looks at me with stormy eyes.
Before I draw another breath, a curse burst out on his lips, and he puts his fist into the wall.
I don’t flinch. Unfazed, I push his chest away. To my surprise, he takes a step back and runs both hands through his hair, a dark expression sliding on his face.
“I didn’t ask you to run after me, Jaden.”
I finally square my shoulders, lift my skirt and strut to the door.
His voice stops me in my tracks.
“I told you. You’re not going anywhere.”
I barely turn my head to glance at him when his hand lands on my shoulder, slips under the strap and tugs. A long, crying sound spears through the air as my gown splits on my back down to my ass.
He spins me, crashing me into the wall. My clutch rolls off my hand, landing on the floor.
I let out a cold chuckle.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I ask.
“What I longed for since I left,” he growls in my ear, his voice so dark, it makes my hair bristle.
His jacket hits the floor. He parts my legs with his knee and runs his hand between my thighs before he rolls my panties down.
The air starts lapping at my flesh.
He lifts the bottom of my dress.
“Hold it,” he barks.
I grab the heap of fabric and slide my gaze to the side, watching him in the mirror. The sound of ripped foil rolls in my ears.
“I’m not a whore, Jaden.”
“I’m protecting you,” he says pissed while working his fly open.
His hand goes down his curved up erection, neatly rolling the condom.
“Mmmm... Was she worth it? To go bareback?”
“I didn’t go bareback. You fucking know me.”
“I thought I did.”
“Shut up, Senna,” he barks again.
His body comes to mine. Hot and hard, his dick pressing against me.
“You’re no better than me...” I say.
“I’ve never said that...” he rumbles, his hand fisting into my hair, his breath searing my neck.
Without another word he eases himself in, my center quickly clenching in response. His hard meat stretches my walls.
“You’re gonna pay dearly for this.”
“Shut up,” he grunts, giving me a slow, deep thrust.
The last atom of my body vibrates in response. Biting my lip, I manage to suppress a moan. I’d rather die than show him how much I like it. He pulls back a little, my wetness rolling down my walls.
He senses it.
“Is that how it feels when you don’t like it, baby?” he sneers.
“Fuck off,” I growl quietly.
He punishes me with a hard thrust that plunges his dick in all that wetness.
“You’ve never been a good liar, Senna. And you insist on doing it.”
“Because you give me no other choice.”
“It’s not always in my hands.”
“Whatever...”
He rams into me again.
I eat my groan, offering him nothing while keeping my hips still. And yet, I can’t stop clenching.
I hear his soft chuckle and get a glimpse of him looking down at my ass as he plunges into me. Every time he fills me up, I want to squeal. He senses my stare, and shifts his eyes, catching me peeking at him.
His palm goes over my butt and then around, sliding between my thighs. His fingertips touch my clit, barely–– he doesn’t even rub it, and I feel the echo in my bones. I tense and slightly arch before I freeze.
“You can’t deny it,” he murmurs, studying my reaction.
He rolls his hips, giving me his hard cock, over and over again.
“There’s nothing to deny,” I say with a strained voice, struggling to keep myself under control.
It’s all in vain.
His dick slides into the pool of wetness, making my center pulse at a frantic pace. He covers me with his body and rams into me, making my core swallow his length.
He’s so deep in me it hurts.
He stops moving for a moment, tenderly strumming my clit, each bit of his touch sending a wave of pleasure crashing through me.
My senses open to him, absorbing him––the aroma of his cologne, the masculine scent of his arousal, the warmth of his arm locked around me, and the soft touch of his fingers on my clit.
He breathes faster now, all that heated air rolling into my hair and fanning over my neck, drowning me in so much pleasure.
“There’s no point in lying to me, Senna,” he murmurs, his lips brushing my temple, stirring up a chemical storm in my body.
I push back another moan.
His thighs, chest and groin press against me and I relish them. More goosebumps flare on my skin as I register the soft wool of his pants, and the cold touch of his belt, the starched fabric of his shirt, and the warmth and smoothness of his skin.
He almost slides his cock out, and I struggle to keep my hips from moving, my hands from grabbing him, and my voice from letting go of the crying moans.
He rocks his hips again and enters me in one harsh move, crashing into me.
I bite my lip again, fighting a moan back.
He clutches the side of my neck with one hand and grabs my mound with the other as he delivers another hard thrust. Something breaks inside me. Not pain. Only pleasure. Heat spikes through me, all that warmth making me throb intensely.
My skin burns and my fingers hurt while I desperately grip my dress.
I manage to stay silent. But there is nothing I can do about my sex. Swollen and wet, my center squeezes his hard flesh, throbbing around him.
Pounding me, he lowers his mouth to my ear and moves his hand into my hair.
“That’s what I was talking about, baby. You can’t fight this, no matter how much you want to. You are mine, no matter how much you hate me or resent me, and I will drag you back to me no matter how hard you fight me.”