“To be honest with you, Yeva, nothing’s okay,” I say underneath my breath.
She captures my hand and squeezes tightly, her eyes full of pity for me.
“If this is because of what happened yesterday? Please don’t blame yourself. It had nothing to do with you.”
I lift my chin up and look straight into her baby blue eyes.
“What happened yesterday? I know something bad happened. I saw Mikhail’s face. Did he get into a fight or something?”
She shakes her head slowly and drops her gaze to the floor.
“Please, Yeva. I’m begging you to tell me what happened,” I say in a quivering voice.
“I don’t know the details, but your uncle made a plan to trap sir and his men. I think the target was sir, but luckily he was well protected and flew the scene before they got to him. I think they thought he was the one who was gonna come inside the restaurant.”
I bring my palm to my lips, covering them as tears burst free. I shake my head in disbelief. I could have lost him. I could have lost Maksim yesterday.
She takes a step closer and wraps her arms around me.
“It’s okay, my dear friend. I told you it had nothing to do with you,” she says softly, running her fingers through my hair.
“I’m putting Maksim in danger. I have a feeling this is all because he won’t let me go. And my uncle is not happy about it. It’s my fault, Yeva, mine.”
She pulls away and looks into my eyes.
“Please stop saying that.”
“I’m tired of being hated on because of my last name. I’m nothing like my uncle. Why can’t people believe me?” A sob shakes my shoulders.
“Elena, I know you’re nothing like him. It takes time for people to know others. I know the people in this house are distant with you. But they will open up. There’s a reason why sir is keeping you here. It’s all to protect you because he knows you’re nothing like your family.”
Just hearing her words causes me to miss Maksim’s presence. Feeling exhausted and completely defeated, I nod helplessly, the words stuck somewhere in the back of my throat.
“How about you go to your room and rest. I’ll bring you a soup. Sounds good?”
“Yes,” I say breathlessly and walk out of the room and up the stairs.
When I get to my room, I remove my shoes and get under the sheets immediately. My whole body’s trembling underneath the blanket. I don’t even understand myself anymore. The fighter in me somehow no longer exists. What’s happening to me? Why am I no longer able to contain my tears and emotions around people? I used to be strong, ready to fight and conquer the world. I even asked for death plenty of times in the past and didn’t shed a single tear back then. Where did that strong girl go?
The sobbing doesn’t stop and the dejection is even stronger and more powerful now that I lie here alone, completely beat down. Broken is the word to describe how I feel on the inside. Death is the word that would bring peace to everybody around me, including Maksim. And although I know that’s the solution to it all, I’m too much of a coward to do it. How ironic is it that ending my own life was all I wanted to do back in the days when I was under my uncle’s mercy. It was my only escape and he knew it. Hence why I was on watch like a fucking prisoner twenty-four seven.
How stupid was I to think that once I was out of his house I’d be able to claim my freedom? My uncle seems to follow me anywhere I go. All of this is because of him. He’s the poison that lives in every corner of my mind, and I could never free myself from him no matter how hard I try. Even in my worst nightmares, he’s still the hero of them all.
I close my eyes tightly and focus on my breathing. My escape and freedom only happens when I shut my eyes and I’m able to put all those horrific, haunting thoughts to sleep. It’s only a matter of seconds until I sink deeply in the darkness of slumber.
Elena
The sound of the food tray being placed on the table across the room awakens me. I open my eyes and it takes them a moment to adjust to the strong sunlight coming from the window. When I notice who’s in the room, I sit up quickly. My heart thumps in my chest. Swallowing my anxiety, I say, “Hi, Yeva and Mikhail.”
They both nod, but by the expression on Yeva’s face I know it’s not good news. Whatever it is that they’re about to announce will probably feel like a thousand knives to my heart. I mentally prepare myself for whatever it is to come, bringing the tiniest of strength that still lives somewhere deep down in me to life.
“Ms. Romano, eat your soup and get dressed, please.” His words are firm and cold. Like there’s no room for arguing.
I get up and walk over to the table. I drink the soup while they stand whispering in the corner of my room. What’s going on? I have no clue. I wish Mikhail weren’t here. I would have done everything in my power to pressure Yeva into explaining to me what’s happening.
I chug the soup and once I’m done, I stare at both of them, waiting for the next order.
“Yeva packed you a small bag with some clothes. Please follow me,” he says and walks out the door. Yeva’s watery eyes drop to the floor as she follows him.
I want to ask where I’m going, but the fear of knowing is bigger than my curiosity. I follow them silently, praying they can’t hear the loud thumping of my heart.
We head downstairs and my eyes widen at the view of every single worker I’ve gotten to know ever since I came to this house standing by the door. They are all studying me closely.
“What’s going on?” I finally manage to ask.
“You’re leaving,” says Mikhail coolly.
The room starts spinning around me. I look at Yeva, crying while standing still next to Alyona. Even Alyona has tears in her eyes. I look back at Mikhail and shake my head slowly.
“Where’s Maksim?” I ask in a quivering voice.
“He’s not in town. The jet will take you outside of the country. I’ll explain the details to you once you’re in the jet. Please follow me.” He moves toward the door, but I remain standing still and unmoving. This can’t be true. This is just another one of those nightmares I’ve been having.
When Yeva runs toward me and hugs me tightly, that’s when the reality of things hits me. This isn’t a nightmare. They’re letting me go. Maksim gave me my freedom.
But why am I not happy as I make my way out of the main entrance door, barely believing what’s happening to me right now?
I get inside the jet and Mikhail hands me my bag and a small purse.
“There’s new documents in there with your new passport, name, and money for you to live for a very long time before getting settled. I wish you nothing but the best.”
“I need to speak to Maksim. Please, this is important,” I beg him. The tears that were stuck in my eyes spill down my face like a waterfall.
“He’s not in town. I’m sorry, but you must get going right now.” He closes the door and before my brain could grasp anything, I look through the window and find myself already miles away in the air.
Then the logic sets in. I’m never going to see Maksim ever again.
The ringing in my ears gets louder and everything becomes blurry within a matter of seconds. I bring my palms to my ears and shut my eyes tightly. Another one of those panic attacks I haven’t gotten in a while consumes me. I should be happy and excited. I got it. I finally got my freedom after I almost lost hope that I’ll ever receive it. But here I am, feeling more lost than in my entire life. And most importantly, I feel trapped and imprisoned, more so than ever before. This time, my enemy is myself.
We land in an airport where it’s already dark. The pilot helps me get out of the jet.
“Ms. Romano, there’s a hotel right beside the airport. A room has already been booked for you under your new name. Just show them your ID and you’re good to go. Good luck,” the pilot explains and walks back into the jet.
I look around me, feeling completely alone in a place I don’t even know.
I reach for my small purse and get my pass
port out. It’s not an American one. It’s a British one. I open it and stare at my picture and my new name.
Grace Reid.
Does this mean I’m no longer a Romano?
I step into the airport in hopes to find out where I’m at. Posters everywhere indicate: Welcome to London. I listen closely to a couple walking ahead of me. Their accent is British.
I’m in London, United Kingdom.
Elena
Checking into the hotel wasn’t hard at all. All I had to do was follow the pilot’s words. I showed the receptionist at the front desk my ID and she grinned at me and gave me the key to my room.
As soon as I get to the room, I drop my bag and purse and walk around the room. For the first time ever since I got my freedom, I smile and bring my palms to my chest. I’m indeed free. Forever.
I walk into the bathroom and strip off my clothes. I hop into the shower and allow the water to wash everything away. I continue smiling, even though my heart hurts. I keep on pretending that I’m happy simply because I should be. I am free to let go of the past and start a brand-new chapter of my life.
New city, new life, new identity.
This is what I always wanted.
So I should be happy.
I should.
Once I finish showering, I return into my room and open my bag to get my clothes out. I keep searching in the bag long after I find the right clothes to wear. Hoping to find a message or a letter from him. But to no avail.
I shake my head and start dressing. I put on the coat I found in the bag and put some money in my jean pocket. I’m gonna go explore. Live and forget about my old self. Tomorrow morning I’ll start job hunting. I’ll build my life with my own hands, with nobody to tell me what to do, lock me up in a room, and prevent me from my basic rights and needs.
As I walk past the shops and the beautiful café places I have yet to try, I remind myself of my new name so if someone was to ask me, I don’t bring up the old one anymore. I stop in front of a small burger place. The rumbling of my stomach reminds me of my hunger. Last thing I ate was the soup Yeva made me. A pang of sadness crawls up my body at the memory of her. I’m gonna miss her so much. Tears threaten to come out, and before I release them, I avert my thought to the new life that awaits me and all the memories I’m gonna build in this city.
With having no time to lose anymore, I walk into the shop and order myself a meal. I eat everything on my plate like I haven’t eaten in days. Maybe it’s my way of coping with all the new changes. I have no idea where to start as I have never been on my own before. But I know I can figure it all out. Time to bring the old fighter back. I cannot be weak and vulnerable in a world I know nothing about.
When I finish my plate, I head out of the shop and continue walking down the streets of London. I haven’t been to many places in my life, but there’s something special about this one. I don’t know if it’s the people, the weather, or the Gothic Revival architecture style of most of the buildings that feels like a therapy to my soul. Just staring at the beautiful old building is like fresh air to my lungs. I smile and I know people who walk past me must think I’m crazy. But I can’t help the feeling of happiness that’s flowing through me as I walk down the streets, free and alive with nobody watching me or following me.
This is what freedom feels like.
By the time I get tired of walking, I wait on the side of the street for a cab. As soon as I see one, I wave at it and it stops right in front of me.
“Where are you heading, love?” the gentleman asks as soon as I slide into the seat. Smiling warmly at him, I give him the name of the hotel and lean my head against the window.
I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of this city, no matter how many times I walk its streets, or know everything about its history. Why this city and this country in particular? I’ll never know. Because Maksim is in the past. And how I got here or where I came from is not what I need to be asking myself. I need to get used to my new life. I have no idea how I’ll ever delete everything that belongs to my past off my memory. Especially him. I close my eyes and inhale deeply, my body instantly reacting to the memory of him taking me. A shiver skitters down my spine and I squeeze my thighs tightly. Out of all the things I’m gonna miss the most about my past life is his touch, his lips on mine, and his strong arms that once they held me, I felt complete and safe from everything, including the things that hurt me on the inside.
No matter how far I go, or how old I get, the memory of him will never fade away completely. He was the first man to make me discover who I am, the darkness that lurks inside of me, and the way my body loves, craves, and lives for submission. The amount of times he opened his arms wide for me and I curled against him. His warmth made me feel cared for. It was exactly what I needed.
Maksim
It’s been two days. Two days that I walk into her room thinking she might still be there. Waiting for me. With the fire blazing through her eyes and the heavy breathing that picks up its speed with every single step I take toward her. Every time I walk into her room, I can still smell her everywhere. Her bed sheets, her clothes—everything smells like her.
I take a deep breath in as soon as Aleksandr walks into my office. I haven’t seen him ever since I beat the shit out of him for talking to Elena. He stands tall at the entrance door. The bruises on his face have healed. He doesn’t say a word but stares at me from a distance. I don’t know how long we remain in the same position until I rise from my chair and walk toward him. We hug each other like we haven’t seen each other in a very long time.
“I heard you freed the bird,” he says and I pull away from him.
Patting him on the shoulder, I say, “I did.”
“How are you feeling?”
I return to my desk and sit on one of the chairs across from it. Aleksandr heads over to the mini bar and pours himself and me a drink. He hands me mine and sits on the other chair right across from me.
“I don’t know how I’m feeling,” I answer honestly.
“You really did like her, didn’t you?”
I take a sip of my drink. “She was a special one.”
He nods. “I can see that. She was strong and had balls most of our men don’t.”
I chuckle and shake my head.
“Where did you ship her off to?”
“London. I gave her a new identity. That’s what she always wanted.”
“All the way to Europe? Smart.”
“I had to. Leonardo is coming for more blood. And I couldn’t gamble with her life.”
His eyes narrow at my words. “So you protected her?” he asks, gazing at me through the rim of his glass.
“I didn’t have a choice.”
For the first time ever since Elena showed up in my life, he isn’t arguing with me over her.
“Mind if I ask you a question, cousin?”
“Go ahead,” I reply.
“Why her? Out of all the women you’ve known in your entire life, you’ve never kept one hostage.” He pauses. “I know it has nothing to do with Leonardo. You kept her for you. Why?”
I avert my gaze and stare at the bookshelf past Aleksandr. The answer to his question is still unknown. I don’t know why her. But I know there were so many things about her that the beast craved and needed. No woman has ever awoken the fire that lives deep inside of me but her. The calm of my heartbeat was where she buried her ears every time I held her in my arms. Her delicate skin against mine made it almost impossible to believe that she is real. That a woman like her, who understands and connects to the darkness inside of me exists. Being around her always felt like an escape. An escape from my dangerous and lonely world. She gave me hope and peace. But both feelings are long gone now that she’s gained her freedom, leaving me here, trapped in my own dark thoughts and forsaken nights to come.
“I don’t know. But I told you, she’s special. Always been and always will,” I answer Aleksandr after a long silence.
“Fair enough,” he says simply.
“Either way Leonardo is still out there looking for blood. Especially after not taking his deal of ending the girl’s life. What do you plan on doing?”
With anger bubbling up under my skin, my eyes darken and hot blood rushes through my veins.
“I have nothing to lose anymore. I’ll hunt the motherfucker down until I find him and drink his blood when I finally end his life,” I hiss through clenched teeth.
Aleksandr’s lips quirk up in one of his signature smirks. Rubbing his palms together, he winks at me. “I can’t wait for that to happen, cousin. I’ll drink his blood with you too.”
“Mikhail and the guys are cooking something up right now. We lost so many men in that restaurant incident, but in return, we killed most of his too,” I explain.
“We’re gonna have to double the security team. I’m working on getting stronger ones. We need a solid team because as long as the asshole is alive, we will never be at peace.”
He gets up and chugs the last sip of his glass before placing it on my desk.
“Also, Daniel and I took care of selling the hotels while you were busy with other things. So just focus on Leonardo from now on. I’ll be taking care of business,” he adds and heads for the door.
As soon as he places his palm on the doorknob, I say, “Thank you, Aleksandr. For everything.”
His answer comes as a quick nod before he steps out of my office.
“Anything new?” I ask Mikhail as I pour myself a cup of coffee in the kitchen.
“Still working on it, sir. Leonardo has major security around him. He’s like a ghost. The motherfucker never leaves his house. Or when he does he probably leaves when nobody expects him to. He has connections everywhere—”
“Tell me something new. We have connections too. Start using them,” I cut him off and he nods. I don’t care what kind of bullshit Leonardo uses to hide like a little bitch in his mansion. If nobody in the history of the mafia was able to take him down it’s because I’m the one who’s supposed to. Simple as that.
At His Mercy (Beasts In The Dark, #1) Page 13