“When did you start mixing alcohol with pills?” A disapproving look crossed his face.
“Since you left me three years ago.”
“It’s dangerous, Zoe,” Ki said under his breath.
I glared. Fuck his judgement. Who was Killian Connery to question my coping mechanisms? As if he was so saintly. I knew his medical history. Every player was required to disclose theirs before signing their contracts, and I was privy to the records.
“Really, Ki? What about the Trazadone you take before each game? What about that?”
I was getting tired of him telling me what to do. Some days I didn’t even know if I wanted to go on. I had been a complete mess since our breakup. My father had told everyone I left the country. A complete lie. I’d had a breakdown and checked myself into a mental facility. I’d suffered severe depression and insomnia. I couldn’t eat. I lost almost twenty pounds until I was skin and bones. Joe, my boss, called the police to do a welfare check on me when I hadn’t shown up for work for over two weeks. I could barely move I was so weak. I didn’t care if I lived or died. By that time, Jesse had revealed her true colors, and Ki had left for Detroit, I was on my own. Joe Wharton had showed up at my apartment along with a Santa Clara Sherriff’s deputy. Joe ended up taking me to get help at a secluded retreat in the Santa Cruz Mountains. I stayed there enduring counseling, group therapy, and holistic modalities such as yoga, meditation, and consulting a Chinese herbalist. I gradually returned to the land of the living and came to terms with Ki no longer being part of my life, even though he never left my heart. I was able to function and return to some semblance of a normal life. What they couldn’t do for me was what I needed most, repair my shattered heart.
My father did what he did best. He issued a press release stating I was out of the country for personal reasons. Good old dad. What a crock. He never once visited or called. Joe had been my savior, friend, and champion during the darkest time of my life. I shuddered to think what could’ve happened to me if he hadn’t shown up on my doorstep that morning to rescue me from myself. I also despised the fact Ki was right. I knew better than to chase my pills down with booze. I was being reckless. I knew that but fuck, Jesse looking so perfectly calm and poised sent anger shooting through my veins. Why was I the one feeling uncomfortable and uncertain? I had been the one to carry the brunt of betrayal and she was acting as if she didn’t have a care in the world. I didn’t even blame Ki. He was a victim too.
“The difference is I take my meds before a game and with water not liquor, angel.”
He was right. Damn him. Shame and guilt filled me. “I’m sorry, Ki. Seeing Jesse again is like a slap in the face,” I stammered.
“Angel, I have a confession to make. I broke it off with Jesse almost a month ago when I knew I was coming back to the Otters. Back to you.”
I closed my eyes as his words flowed over me. I began to feel unsteady in my heels. My medication must’ve kicked in, dizzying me. “I need to sit down.”
I grabbed his forearm to steady myself. He wrapped his arm around me and set me down at our table. The lights flashed, signaling for everyone to take their seats as the recognition awards were about to begin followed by the dinner service. I sipped water, hoping the buzz would go away once I ate something. I’d forgotten to eat today with everything going on. As I turned to talk to Ki, I felt someone staring at me. Jesse was on the opposite side of the table, glaring at us. I did my best to ignore her, but my eyes were drawn to her like a moth about to get fried by a bug zapper. There could be no good ending to this encounter. Not even the large floral spray could hide her. She was in my direct line of sight.
“Well what a pleasant surprise. Ki and Zoe. Like old times, isn’t it?”
“Jesse.” Ki nodded politely while holding my hand under the table. I didn’t realize I’d dug my nails into his skin until he winced.
“Sorry, Sly.” The endearment just slipped out of my mouth.
“You have nothing to be sorry about, angel,” Ki said loud enough for Jesse to hear.
“I have my own confession to make,” I whispered in his ear.
Our eyes locked and a look of mutual understanding flickered between us. He was right. We were in this together, at least for tonight and I wanted to make every effort to get through it without being collateral damage and fodder for Jesse Ward.
“What’s that, angel? I’m all ears or whatever you need.” He winked.
His double entendre didn’t escape my notice, and my heart skipped a beat. Ki leaned toward me, brushing his lips to mine. To the casual observer, we were a couple in love. To the more perceptive guests, we weren’t so transparent since our appearance caused a bit of a stir, mostly with Jesse by the looks she was shooting at us. To make matters worse, Flynn came strolling in. He grabbed Jesse by the waist and hauled her in for a less than chaste kiss. Jesse squealed as he grabbed her ass for everyone to see. I thought I was going to be sick. Jesse sure liked to collect my leftovers. My anger shifted to pity. She was sad, really.
“You were right, Ki. Nothing’s changed, I’m still in love with you,” I confessed within earshot of about twenty people. Jesse glared. Her brown eyes swept over Ki in what I could only call an impure manner before a catlike smile spread across her delicate features. The black bob framing her apple cheeks reminded me of a modern-day Cleopatra. All she needed was an asp to complete the look. Her white sheath dress set off her perfect spray tan and manufactured body. I knew she had gotten a boob job—courtesy of the gutter press magazines at the dentist’s office. Was Ki at all aware how much of his earnings she had spent on her obsession to look younger? The puffy lips, the butt implants. Everything about Jesse Ward was as perfect as it was fake. Every square inch of her. And over the past three years, she had also proven what a fake friend she was. I couldn’t believe I didn’t see through the façade until it was too late.
Jesse pulled out of Flynn’s arms, playfully cuffed him, and sat down with another shot of liquid courage. She was going to need it if she thought for one minute, she could toy with me this evening. Something inside me had snapped. I was ready to do battle and I wasn’t taking prisoners.
“Easy, angel,” Ki said, sensing my mood.
“You know that’s funny you said that, Zo. Ki said the exact same thing to me about a month ago, didn’t you, lover?”
“Was that before or after he dumped your sorry ass, Jess?”
“Jesus, Zoe,” Flynn spoke up.
“I hope you’re getting yourself checked for an STD, Flynn. Because Jesse slept with Daryll Rutkowski last week. Daryll just loves coming to the GM’s office to brag about his latest conquests. Last week’s flavor happened to be Jesse Ward, followed by some chick who worked at the Starbucks up the street from the arena. So, if I were you, I’d get checked. Pronto.” I winked at my philandering ex-boyfriend.
The Otters’ goalie, Rutkowski, was known for a few things. He could defend the crease and fuck women senseless. In that order. The occasional STD was just hazard of puck bunnies.
Flynn’s mouth fell open as Jesse turned a livid pink. Score. Ki snickered into his hand.
“You know something, angel?” Ki smiled at me.
“What, Ki?”
“I’m going to marry you.”
I pulled Ki in for a kiss. One that sealed the deal. One for the record books.
Chapter 4
Ki
The evening had a few bumps and hurtles, but we successfully navigated through our minefield of exes. After Zoe had put Flynn in his place and shut Jesse up—which was no easy feat—, the evening proceeded smoothly despite our proximity to the two people who had broken our trust. After Zoe told me she loved me, I nearly fell out of my chair. It had taken me a good minute to digest the news. I knew deep down she still had feelings for me but hearing them from her lips had sent my soul soaring. Relief inundated my body. I hadn’t realized how much tension I’d been holding onto until Zoe’s declaration of love dissipated everything. Jed’s directive to pu
t on a show as a couple for the press had become a reality. I felt invincible now that I wasn’t the only one fighting for us.
Zoe was tucked up against my side sound asleep. “Angel wake up we’re home,” I whispered in her ear.
Her eyes fluttered open. “What time is it?” she asked with a stretch and a yawn.
“After midnight.” My lips brushed her forehead with a kiss.
She graced me with a sexy, feline smile. My body temperature went up a few notches. I tried my best to quell my lewd thoughts but to no avail. Zoe had a magical hold over every part of my life and one I never wanted to be released from. I meant every word I said. I was going to marry her and this time and nothing was going to stand in our way.
When the driver opened the door, Zoe frowned. “This isn’t home.”
“It’s my place, angel.”
“Oh?”
I wasn’t letting her out of my sight. Not tonight anyway. We had a lot of things to discuss but that could be all sorted later.
“Come on, Zo, let’s get you to bed.”
“But I don’t have any of my things,” she protested.
I quirked my brow at her. “That never stopped you in the past.”
A heated look filled her eyes. I knew she thought about the exact same thing I’d had on my mind all evening. We’d been kissing and touching each other ever since we left the event. Our renewed intimacy was sending my libido into overdrive. I’d kept a tight rein on any such thoughts until I saw the longing in Zoe’s eyes. I craved the woman, pure and simple. My body responded to her in ways my mind couldn’t fathom. With Zoe, it was all or nothing. There was no in between.
As we walked into the lobby of my building, I waved to Robby, the night watchman.
“Evening, Mr. Connery. Miss Simmons.” Robby nodded.
Zoe looked at me with a puzzled expression on her face as I guided her further into the modern steel and glass building. I had secured the exclusive Willow Glen Oaks penthouse—a sweet perk of my contract thanks to my agent.
“I’ll explain it later.” I winked. “Have a good night, Robby.”
“You too, sir.”
I pushed the button to the private elevator which accessed my penthouse. When Jed picked up my contract, he had thrown in a few perks such as a new residence and a sports car, the latter which I had turned down. I preferred an SUV, which came with a lower profile than a flashy vehicle that would garner attention.
The elevator doors slid open and I ushered Zoe inside, pinning her against the wall and crushing her lips to mine. My hard body molded to her soft, yielding curves. I nipped her bottom lip and coaxed her mouth open, thrusting my tongue inside and taking what I wanted. Zoe wrapped her hands around my neck. She pulled me close as I devoured her. My tongue fucked her mouth as my body wanted to do. I held her tightly while my hands roamed up and down her slender frame. It dawned on me she had lost weight. My thoughts shattered when Zoe moaned into my mouth. Her hands ran through my hair. She aligned her hips with mine and grinded against me with need. My cock throbbed with an almost painful need to release. Fuck, I needed to be inside her.
I lifted her and she wrapped her legs around my waist, tilting her head back then let out moan with porn star allure. The heat between us combusted into an all-out frenzy. Zoe threw her head back as I licked and sucked her neck and trailed kisses along her jaw before capturing her lips again. I wanted to explore and devour her entire body with my mouth. I was a parched man who had found his oasis.
Zoe pulled away and I growled. “Ki, I think we arrived at your apartment.” Amusement glinted in her eyes.
“God, angel, what are you doing to me?” I leaned my forehead against hers. We were both panting and out of breath, clawing at each other like two feral animals.
“It’s called being horny,” she giggled.
Her laughter made me pause. We stared at each other and I watched as the laughter softened to a look of love and yearning. A look I had dreamt of nearly every night since our split. Now the dream had become real and Zoe was in front of me in my arms. Emotion filled my eyes. The moment was so surreal I thought it could disappear along with Zoe at any moment. How many times had I imagined us like this? Too many to name.
“What is it, Ki?”
Zoe could see past my stoic facade. She could pierce my soul with a single glance.
“This is intense, angel.” I avoided her gaze. I didn’t want her to see the wetness in my eyes.
“I know, I feel it too,” Zoe said quietly.
She cupped my face and pulled me down as she kissed the tear that rolled down my cheek.
“Angel,” I swallowed hard. A lump formed in my throat. I had suppressed these feelings for so long, they needed to be set free.
After our breakup, my self-imposed therapy consisted of practicing so long and hard I couldn’t think straight and passed out at night. At some point, Jesse had come to my rescue—or so I thought. I couldn’t deny that she had saved me in more ways than one but for the wrong reasons. At the time, I was too blind to see she used my devastation to weasel herself into my life. I didn’t care at first. I lived for hockey and nothing else mattered. Jesse seemed all right with the scant attention I gave her. In many ways, she reminded me too much of Zoe and all that I had at one time. I clung to the familiarity of it all until one morning I woke up and everything had changed. I’d slept with Jesse. After that, our relationship changed. I began to depend on her for everything, though I knew she was nothing but a poor substitute for Zoe. The lies Jesse fed me kept me going. Soon, my denial turned to bitterness, which I harnessed into much-needed aggression on the ice. Not one to spend time in the sin bin, I soon learned the hard way my self-destructive behavior led me down a dark path I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. It took a concussion after a brutal fight with Raife Mercer for me to realize I needed to get my shit together and get some help.
“My therapist said I would have a breakthrough, and I guess she was right.”
I’d sought out Dr. Taylor in Detroit. I’d been referred to her by the Steels on-staff doc, Wes Washburn. Dr. Taylor explained I suffered from Post Traumatic Relationship Disorder. Something I’d never heard of, yet I displayed quite a few of the symptoms such as nightmares, weight loss, promiscuity resulting in a string of one-night stands until Jesse showed up, and my total aversion to avoiding Asian cuisine as ridiculous as that sounded. Zoe loved it. I avoided any place which served that type of food. It’d reminded me too much of all the times we had ordered takeaway and lay in bed eating and watching television. It became a ritual we both loved at the end of a long week. Those memories were indelibly etched into my mind as a stark reminder of all that I had with Zoe and lost.
As I took Zoe by the hand and led her into my home, that pain began to fade like melting ice. I wrapped my arms around her and held on tight, shutting out everything else as we stood in silence of the darkness. I didn’t want to break the moment. I could smell her perfume and the essence of vanilla lingering in her hair. Familiar and comforting. I could stay that way with Zoe forever. The overhead lights came on.
“Hello son.”
Zoe stiffened in my arms. Vivienne’s eyes glittered dangerously. She gave us a cold smile that only she could muster. My jaw clenched. I couldn’t believe she had the audacity to show up unannounced. Typical of Vivienne.
I took a measured step in front of Zoe to shield her from the woman who had given birth to me. Using the term ‘mother’ would imply I had some affection for the selfish creature who stood sucking on a cigarette looking like she owned the place. Despite the woman’s vile nature, outward appearances could be deceiving. She still was an attractive woman with a great figure, expensive tastes, and bad decisions when it came to men—a cougar in every sense of the word.
“How the fuck did you get in here?” I snarled at her.
She snorted and blew smoke out of her mouth. Finishing it, she threw her butt on my marble floor and crushed it with her pointed high heel. We shared the same grey ey
es and dark hair though Vivienne seemed partial to be a bleached blonde these days. My mother was a vain woman. I recognized the navy-blue Ralph Lauren suit she wore, and the Manolo Blahniks pumps. I should know since I paid her bills. Every damn one of them. When I hit it big and signed my first contract, I gave her everything she desired. Beautiful homes in Florida and California, exotic fashion vacations to Paris and Milan, designer clothes, and an exorbitant lifestyle which included two full-time assistants and bushels of cash. The woman wanted for nothing. Given all that, she destroyed my relationship with Zoe to what purpose? Greed? Control? Power?
“Is that any way to greet your mother?”
“You lost that privilege when the truth came out,” I growled.
“Oh, come off it, Ki. You were happy with Jesse and you know it.”
I knew exactly what she was alluding to, and it had been a moment of weakness and a big mistake on my part.
“I was never in love with Jesse,” I snapped.
“You don’t say? Then why would you buy her an engagement ring?” The venom rolled off her tongue. Zoe’s eyes widened.
“None of that matters anymore, Vivienne. What does matter is that you get your Botoxed old ass out of here before I call the cops for breaking and entering and whatever else I can think of,” Zoe threatened.
Vivienne laughed. “Try it, Red, and mark my words you will regret it.”
Zoe glared. She has always despised the nickname, much to Vivienne’s amusement. Before I could react, Zoe marched toward my mother and slapped her across the face. Vivienne staggered, reaching for her reddened cheek.
“Zoe!” I snapped.
She whipped her head around and pinned me with a look of fury. Her cheeks were flushed, and anger flashed in her eyes like purple fire. Passing me by without another word, she walked out the door.
“Get out,” I said to my mother, who was still staring at me in a state of disbelief. “I mean it. You better be gone by the time I get back or I will call the cops. And just so I am clear that is not a threat rather a fact. I forgot to mention Zoe owns this building. She has every right to throw you out, mother,” I said over my shoulder as I went in pursuit of Zoe.
On Ice, A Hockey Romance Page 4