“Of course he should have. It’s just that…he didn’t even tell Kara, the mate that I lost, his name,” Kalis explained. “Up until now, I am the only one who has ever known it. Yet, he told you right away!”
“He…he said he loves me.” She ducked her head shyly. “I told him that I love him, too.” She looked up at him from under her lashes. “Is that okay? I mean, it’s not like…like cheating on you, is it?”
Kalis laughed.
“Of course not—we are two sides of the same being. It’s exactly how things are supposed to be.”
“He’s like a giant teddy bear.” Jillian sounded thoughtful. “I was so afraid of him at first but he was so gentle with me while he healed me. And the more he healed me, the more I could feel how he felt for me and that he only wanted to protect and care for me.”
“The Ursus isn’t good with words, but he and his kind are excellent at conveying emotions,” Kalis agreed.
“He really is.” Jillian nodded earnestly. “I just…couldn’t stay afraid of someone who loves me so much and wants so badly just to heal me and keep me safe.”
“I’m so glad!” Kalis swept her into his arms and hugged her tight—though he was careful not to squeeze the part where she had been stabbed, which might still be tender.
Despite his care, though, he was still a bit too exuberant because Jillian gasped in his ear,
“Careful, you’re crushing me!”
“Forgive me.” Kalis set her down at once…and it was then that he saw the still figure in the corner. “Fuck,” he muttered, walking over to see who it was.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Jillian followed him to the far corner of the small room.
Kalis looked up from checking for a pulse and shook his head.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I’m afraid you’re not the only one who got crushed. This male seems to have been sort of, uh, smashed between the metal wall and the back side of my Ursus.”
“Brad was crushed?” She leaned over to take a look at the dead male’s swollen face and then turned quickly away. “Ugh!”
“I’m sorry,” Kalis said earnestly. “Was he special to you?”
“No,” she said flatly. “He was my ex.”
“This was the male who ruined you financially and forced you to come to the Mother Ship?” Kalis looked at him with renewed interest. Jillian hadn’t wanted to speak much about her previous relationship, but Suzanne had told him enough that he understood what a pitiful excuse for a male her ex-mate had been. Truly, he hadn’t deserved Jillian.
“He’s also the one who lured me down here,” she told him now. “He told Moreno—the guy who, uh, cut me—that I had the money Brad had taken.” She shivered and suddenly pressed her face against Kalis’s chest. “Can we please go home now? I don’t want to think about this ever again.”
“Of course, sweetheart!” Kalis gathered her close to him and held her to his heart. “Let’s get out of here. We’ll never talk about it again, if that’s what you want.”
She nodded, her face pale.
“That’s exactly what I want.”
“Then let’s go.” Kalis picked her up and cradled her in his arms. He wanted to get her back to the Mother Ship anyway, for a thorough check up at the Med Center. He had faith that his Ursus had healed her, but it was still good to get some scans, especially since she’d had internal damage.
Jillian didn’t protest being picked up and held, she only pressed her face to his chest and murmured,
“I want to go home.”
“We’re going,” Kalis promised.
He held her close and swore to himself he would never let her go again.
52
“Had another long night?” Suzanne asked sympathetically, as she looked at Jillian’s face. “I swear you’re getting less sleep than I am lately and I have three fussy babies at my place!”
“I think I’d rather deal with fussy babies than these nightmares I keep having.” Jillian rubbed a hand over her face tiredly. It was her left hand and the fingertips of her three new fingers tingled a bit as she did so. It was just another reminder of the trauma she’d been through and she was damn tired of it.
“They’re still that bad?” Suzanne asked.
Jillian nodded.
“It’s funny, I never had bad dreams about what happened with that Trollox bastard at the Buy-All-Sell-All market, but I just seem to keep replaying that night with Brad and ‘Jimmy the Knife’ over and over again in my sleep.” She shivered and put her arms around herself, trying to stop the cold chills that climbed down her spine.
“God, Jilly—I’m so sorry!” Suzanne put an arm around her shoulders. “Maybe you should think about therapy.”
Jillian laughed.
“I’ve had therapy—I told you the whole thing.”
“Yes, but I’m not trained to know what to do or say to help you,” Suzanne protested.
“You listened—that was what I really needed,” Jillian assured her. “And at least when I wake up screaming, I have Kalis there to hold me.”
After that awful night with Brad and Moreno, the big Kindred had brought her straight back up to her suite on the Mother Ship and he had simply never gone back to his own. Well, except for once, to get his possessions, but after that he had moved in with Jillian completely—which was exactly what they both wanted.
“You’d think that bonding with him would help you with your bad dreams,” Suzanne remarked. “He seems to be so steady and calm—having a bond with him seems like it ought to help settle you.”
“Maybe it would—if we were bonded,” Jillian said, frowning.
“What?” Suzanne stared at her as though she’d grown another head. “You mean to tell me he rescued you from that awful situation down on Earth and you’ve been living together for the past two weeks and you two still aren’t bonded?”
“Not by choice!” Jillian exclaimed. “It’s because when Kalis took me to the Med Station to get checked out, Dr. Liv said I should wait ‘a little while’ just to be sure I was completely healed internally before we had bonding sex.”
“But it’s been two weeks!” Suzanne protested. “You must be all healed by now—right?”
“Now you sound like me, trying to convince Kalis,” Jillian said glumly. “I feel perfectly fine, but he’s still worried and wants to wait.”
Suzanne frowned.
“Well that is a problem.”
“You’re telling me! It’s driving me crazy.” Jillian sighed and raked a hand through her hair. “Ever since I met and tamed his Ursus, all I want to do is bond with him. I feel so…so incomplete. But he won’t even consider the idea.”
“But you’re sure that you’re all better?” Suzanne asked.
“Positive,” Jillian said certainly. “I could run a marathon. Well, if that was a thing I did, anyway. I feel perfectly fine, but I think he’s determined to wait for six weeks or six months or some ungodly amount of time like that.”
“Oh God, Jilly—I’m sorry.” Suzanne gave her a sincere look of sympathy. “You must be going crazy.”
“I really am,” Jillian admitted. “I think it has something to do with the fact that I tamed his Ursus. The next logical step is bonding and my body knows that—it’s just urging me to do what comes naturally. Only Kalis is so afraid of breaking me or hurting me, he keeps putting it off.”
Suzanne got a thoughtful look on her face.
“What if there was a way to convince him not to put it off any longer?”
“How? I’m all ears,” Jillian told her.
Suzanne gave her a sly smile.
“Well, remember how I told you that Bonding Fruit has aphrodisiac qualities? And if you eat some, you pretty much have to make love with your guy?”
“I do remember something like that,” Jillian admitted. “But I don’t want to force Kalis’s hand. He’s just doing what he thinks is best for me.”
“Well, clearly he’s wrong,” Suzanne said firmly. “Your body is reac
ting badly to not taking the next step and bonding to him. Your sleep is all messed up—”
“And I’m really tender in some, uh, pretty private places,” Jillian admitted, wincing as she adjusted her bra strap.
Ever since she’d met and tamed Kalis’s Ursus, her nipples and pussy had felt swollen and needy. But the big Kindred hadn’t wanted to rush anything, so most nights he just held her. Jillian was getting damn tired of all that holding, though—it was time for some action. Suzanne was right—her body was begging for it. And she couldn’t help feeling like bonding with her Kindred really would help the nightmares she kept having.
“Well, there you go,” Suzanne said. “Tell you what, I have some new bonding fruit chocolates I’ve been working on. I’ve been thinking of opening up a chocolate shop and patisserie with a special section just for couples—all the chocolates and pastries made with bonding fruit.”
“That’s a wonderful idea!” Jillian said admiringly. “Who knew you had such a great head for business, Suze?”
“Thanks.” Suzanne smiled modestly. “Anyway, why don’t I give you some of the chocolates to ‘try’ for me? You eat one when you feel like you’re ready and let me know how it goes.” She winked at Jillian, who grinned back.
“Hmm…that’s really tempting…” she admitted.
“I happen to have some with me now,” her friend told her. “I was going to have Lydia and Lor try them out, but you seem to need them a lot more than those two do.”
She nodded at the two line cooks who were standing as close together as possible while prepping for the night’s dinner service. They kept stealing kisses and whispering to each other—clearly they were lost in their own little world.
That’s how I want to be with Kalis, Jillian thought longingly. If only the big Kindred would stop treating her like she was made of crystal and might shatter at the slightest touch! But ever since the night when he’d found her so horribly wounded and his Ursus had healed her, he seemed almost afraid to touch her because he might break her somehow.
Jillian wondered if that had anything to do with the fact that his Ursus had crushed Brad to death accidentally. He had mentioned several times that he hadn’t meant to do it and had also stated that he hadn’t realized what “fragile creatures” humans were before. So maybe that had something to do with his reluctance to finally finish the bonding process. Jillian didn’t know—she only knew she was going half crazy with wanting him and she was tired of waiting.
But she decided, reluctantly, that she ought to wait just a little while longer—until they were on the same page.
“You know, I’d better not,” she told Suzanne. “I don’t want to force the matter—that’s a bad way to start a new part of our relationship. But I’d still love to try your new chocolates—do you have any that don’t have Bonding Fruit in them?”
“Sure—I have some with passion fruit,” Suzanne told her. “They’re almost as good. Here—let me get some.”
She went off to the pantry and came back with a small box filled with white and dark chocolates.
“These look wonderful—you really got the tempering on the chocolate just right.” Jillian looked at them admiringly. “Which are which?”
“The white chocolate ones are the Bonding Fruit and the dark chocolate are the passion fruit,” Suzanne said promptly. “Try one and tell me what you think.”
“Okay.” Selecting an oval-shaped chocolate as big as her thumb, Jillian bit through the dark chocolate and into the gooey center. At once the flavors of deep dark chocolate and the tangy taste of the center flooded her tongue.
“Well—what do you think?” Suzanne looked at her anxiously.
“Mmmm!” Jillian rolled her eyes back in delight. The dark chocolate was delicious, but the passion fruit center was the best, she decided. It had a tangy sweetness that was addicting. It was also different from any passion fruit she’d ever had—there was an almost buttered popcorn aftertaste that was surprisingly delightful. “Oh my God—so good,” she moaned.
“I’m so glad you like it!” Suzanne smiled.
“Like it? I love it! If the Bonding Fruit chocolates are half as good as the passion fruit ones, the new place is going to be a big hit. Can I have another?” Jillian asked.
Her friend shoved the box at her.
“Help yourself! I’m just so happy you like them—your good opinion means so much to me—especially with anything remotely culinary.”
“Aww, you’re sweet to say so.” Jillian smiled at her friend and helped herself to another chocolate—and then another. “That’s enough,” she said, making herself stop after a fourth. “The centers of these are so intense they’re addicting! You’re going to make a mint, Suze.”
“Thank you.” Suzanne smiled. “I’d better put the rest back for now so we can finish prepping.”
“Yes, put them where I can’t see them so I don’t eat the whole box,” Jillian said, laughing.
Suzanne laughed too, and bustled off to put away the chocolates.
As she went back to prepping that night’s ingredients, Jillian eyed Lor and Lydia again, who were still whispering together. She sighed and hoped that she and Kalis would be as close when they finally got around to bonding…
53
Kalis frowned as a low moan from Jillian’s side of the sleeping platform woke him. He was always sensitive to her cries, since lately she’d been having terrible nightmares of that night down on Earth when her ex-mate had nearly betrayed her to her death.
He had nightmares of his own, when he thought of what might have happened to her if the Goddess hadn’t intervened and sent him to her so quickly. As it was, he still berated himself for not getting there sooner. He wished desperately that the female he loved hadn’t had to go through such terrible trauma. Of course, his Ursus had healed her body, but clearly her mind was still in turmoil.
“Sweetheart?” He rolled over and pulled her small, fragile body close to his own much larger bulk, trying to be careful of her as he did so. He hadn’t realized what delicate creatures humans were until his Ursus had crushed her ex-mate without even trying. The fact that he had killed one of them—a male at that, who ought to be tougher and more resilient physically than a smaller female—had spooked him somewhat. Ever since, he had been even more careful of Jillian.
“Kalis!” She snuggled close and put her arms around him. Her soft, curvy body was nearly naked and the feeling of her flesh against his caused his shaft to react. But Kalis did his best to ignore it—he just wanted to comfort her, he told himself. Not…anything else. After all, it had only been two weeks since she almost died of the knife wounds and blood loss. He wanted to be sure she was all right before they did anything remotely physical again.
But this time, as he held the female he loved close to him, Kalis didn’t smell the sour scent of fear on her. Usually he could tell right away when she was having nightmares—his nose told him as well as the copious tears she’d cried against his chest while he held her and comforted her. But tonight, that scent was absent. In its place was…
He frowned, inhaling deeply in the dark. Was that the scent of her feminine desire? But how could a nightmare arouse her?
“Kalis?” she murmured again, and shifted against him. This time she seemed to be pushing her full breasts against his side almost on purpose.
“Jillian?” he asked. “Sweetheart, are you all right?”
“I…I don’t know. I feel so strange.” She moved against him again and this time he felt her pussy pressing against his thigh. She was hot and wet, he realized with a shock—which was certainly not her normal state after a nightmare.
“Did you have another bad dream?” Kalis asked her, reaching down to brush the hair out of her eyes.
She shook her head.
“I don’t think so. I was dreaming, but it wasn’t about Brad or…or anything else to do with him. It had to do with you…and your Ursus. With Brun.”
Kalis felt a small shiver of delight go throu
gh him, as he always did when she spoke of his Ursus by his secret true name. They were the only two people in the entire universe who knew it, and that was how it was going to stay. The fact that his other half had given the woman he loved his true name was remarkable, since he hadn’t even given it to Kalis’s first mate.
“What were you dreaming?” he asked her softly, stroking her cheek.
“It was confusing…” She shook her head. “But I think I was on my hands and knees on the ground. I was digging for some kind of buried treasure but for some reason, I wasn’t wearing any underwear.”
“No underwear, hmm?” Kalis couldn’t help thinking this dream sounded intriguing. Also, was she wearing any underwear now? If she was, he certainly couldn’t feel them as she pressed her pussy against his thigh. “Go on—what was I doing in your dream?” he said. “And what about my Ursus?”
“You were right behind me,” Jillian told him. She was pressing harder against his side, rubbing herself against him as she talked but Kalis didn’t know if she was quite aware of what she was doing. “You were telling me something like, ‘You have to dig deep to find the treasure. Deep—really deep.’ And every time you said the word ‘deep’, you…” She trailed off, as though embarrassed.
Kalis cleared his throat, trying to control his reaction to her soft, curvy body pressing so intimately against his own.
“Go on,” he urged. “What was I doing when I said the word ‘deep?’”
“Well…” Jillian shifted against him and looked up at him from under her lashes. He could see her lovely eyes glinting like two stars in the darkened room.
“Well?” he urged again.
She nibbled her bottom lip.
“Every time you said the word ‘deep,’ you pressed inside me,” she confessed in a soft voice. “You were filling me up—fucking me—while I was digging for treasure. Only sometimes it was you…and sometimes it was your Ursus. Is that even possible? I mean for the two of you to, er, switch places back and forth, that way?”
“Not exactly. Though there is something akin to it during a deep bonding,” Kalis said, frowning.
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