Chapter 16: A Boy Threatened
Jon
Nate runs and hugs Sharon around the legs when she enters the room. He has been silent ever since Naomi brought him back from school. He sat in the corner near the window, drawing something on his sketchbook, unlike his usual talkative self. Something was amiss. He did not kiss me or hug me when he came back. He did not respond to any of my questions while Naomi stayed in the room.
Thank god she left. Emily took care of her. Naomi's possessiveness is disturbing. My family's dislike for Naomi grows by the day. Having Naomi and Sharon in the same room would be dangerous. Naomi being all over me would screw any chance I have with Sharon and I need every chance she gives me.
Naomi is my publicist. We are working on a book I am writing about my life and football. The book is for kids and is a graphic novel. It is my effort to inspire kids to work hard and never give up.
Naomi and I spent a lot of time together for the book. Somewhere along the way, I crossed the line with Naomi—or was it her who made the first move? It does not matter because, after a few dates, I was pretty clear in my mind that she was not what I wanted in a long-term partner.
Things got crazy when she got possessive. I tried to distance myself. Avoided her calls, did not respond to every text message. I stuck to working on the book whenever we met and refused to go out alone with her. However, she has not given up. She grabs every opportunity to tell the world that we are a couple. Now, it has to stop. There is no way I will let her get in my way to Sharon.
"Hey, Nate. How are we, friend? Good to see you." Sharon pats Nate.
Nate says nothing, still wrapped around her, his face buried in her legs. Sharon bends down on her knees and asks him, "Have you been crying? What is the matter?"
I shift to raise myself on my elbows. "What's wrong, champ?"
"I don't want to talk to you! I hate you!" Nate shouts at me. He sobs and buries his face in Sharon's arms. Sharon tries to calm him. She hugs him and pats his head. Emily joins her, crouching to take Nate, but he shrugs her off.
"Do you want to talk?" Sharon runs her fingers through Nate's hair. Nate wipes his tears and nods. Sharon takes his hand. "Have you eaten anything?" Nate shakes his head in a swift no.
"I am also hungry. Let us grab a bite first. We can go to my room and have lunch. Can we ask Aunt Emily to join us? Would you like that?" Nate nods, and they walk out of the room. Before the door closes, Sharon turns to me and nods. A gesture to assure me, she has this under control. This is new territory for me. How do I react?
The clock on the wall in front of me is like a time bomb, ticking away. My mind is in turmoil. What has happened? I hope this is not something that happened at school. Can it be something to do with Naomi? Nate has never been alone with her. It has always been my conscious decision to never introduce any of my dates to Nate. At least not until I want to make things permanent. I do not want to hurt Nate.
Today, no one was free to pick up Nate from school so, I had arranged with Naomi to bring him here. I wanted to work on my book. I curse myself for asking her to do this. Something has happened on the ride. I am sick with worry.
About an hour later, I hear a knock on the door. "Yes, please come in."
Emily walks in with Nate and Sharon. I look at all three of them, searching for a clue on their faces. Nate is still quiet. Not his usual chirpy self. Sharon ruffles his hair as he looks up at her. The way they eye each other. Gosh, this is a sight I want to get used to. Sharon goes out of the room and leaves me with Emily and Nate.
Nate walks up to my bed and grabs my extended hand, "Daddy, I am sorry." Tears well up in his eyes. Emily helps him up on the bed. I hug him, planting kisses all over his head and face. "What is the matter, Nate? You can talk to your old man."
"Dad, I don't want to leave you."
Nate's words shock me. "Who said you are leaving me?"
"Your goody-two-shoes girlfriend threatened to send your son to boarding school," Emily's eyes are fiery.
"What? Why would she say such a thing? She is not my girlfriend. Did she threaten you, Nate?" I turn Nate around to see his face.
The tears do not stop as he tells me between sobs, "She told me that if I did not behave, I would go to the boarding school as soon as you marry her. Dad, I don't want her to be my mom."
What the hell? I am at a loss for words. How dare she do that? We have never discussed anything like this. I would never marry a girl like her, even if Nate isn't in the picture.
"Don't you worry. I will never let that happen. You and I will always be together. I will not leave you, son." I hug Nate.
He calms down. He stays on the bed, clinging to me and goes to sleep in my arms, exhausted with all the stress. He is only a child. Once he sleeps, Emily takes him and tucks him on the couch in my room. She comes back and narrates all the things Nate told them in Sharon's room. I am indebted to her, big time.
The anger inside me increases as I go over Naomi's words. The hurt in my heart overshadows the pain in my leg. Things have to end with Naomi. I will cut her off once and for all. No one threatens my son, no one.
Chapter 17: Heart to Heart
Sharon
The scene is on constant replay in my mind.
The swollen red eyes told me Nate had been crying. When he shouted at Jon, I knew it was something major. Should I have gotten involved? The sadness on Nate's face when I bent down, forced my hand. This situation will test my resolve to distance myself from Jon and his family. First, I had to feed the child.
We sat in my room and I took out my lunch. The pasta was not fancy, but enough to help me survive until the next meal. I asked Emily if she wanted anything. We ordered sandwiches and coffee. We sat in a small circle, all three of us together, in a close circle. Nate refused to eat.
"Would you like chocolate or candies?" I took out the box of goodies I keep in my room for my pediatric patients. Nate's eyes widened, he raised his hand to grab a Hershey's bar, but then withdrew his hand.
"Go on, take one. Whichever do you want?"
"Can I have two? One for dad and one for me." Nate asked, without moving his hands from his lap.
I took his hands in mine. "Sure, but not before you finish lunch."
He took the two chocolates and kept them in his pocket. He still did not move to eat the pasta in front of him, so I fed him the first few times.
Once he got his energy back, he narrated what had happened on the trip from school to the hospital. I was shocked. How can someone say such things to a six-year-old child? Nate is a bubbly kid, full of life and fun. He grabs your attention the moment he enters the room. Nate is naughty but not destructive. He is inquisitive and observant. Why should anyone object to that? Aren't children supposed to be like this?
If there are issues between Jon and Naomi, why take it out on his kid? I was not aware of the relationship between Jon and Naomi, so I could not help comfort Nate. The more prominent thought in my mind was the worry of crossing another line. This was their family matter. I was walking down a narrow path—comforting Nate and interfering in Jon's relationship.
"Nate, how many types of flowers have you seen?" I wiped tears from his cheeks holding his face in my hands.
"I have seen roses, the purple ones in Grammy's gardens. Then there are yellow ones and yes, the big ones in our house. " He made a conical shape with his hands. "Uncle Jason calls them Silly Lily. That should make it four." Nate counted on his fingers.
"Well, there are many more. They are all different in shape, size, and color. They are all beautiful and unique in their way. Children are like flowers. Every child is unique. Nate, you are special in your different way. So, let no one tell you otherwise."
He kept quiet for a while. After a few seconds, he smiled. I pushed the chocolate box in front of him once again, in the hope that it would take his mind off the entire episode with Naomi. He grabbed an assortment of chocolates.
"Don't be greedy, Nate," Emily warned him. I smiled and let h
im have as many he could fill in his pockets and his hands. After they were full, he nudged the box toward me, "I still don't want to talk to dad. He wants to send me away."
I gathered Nate in my arms, "No sweetie, he will never let that happen. Perhaps, there is a misunderstanding."
"Will you ask him for me?" Nate's face showed the reluctance in his mind. The boy was pretty shaken and scared.
Emily had been silent until that moment, but Nate's words upset her. She grabbed Nate's hand, "I will kick anyone who tries to take you away. We need to speak to your dad and give him some advice." She got up to leave. There was a determination in the way she spoke and anger in her voice. I held her hand and asked her to stay. She sat next to me and squeezed my hand, tears welling up in her eyes.
Once she settled down, I turned my attention to Nate. "I think you should ask him yourself. You are a grown-up boy and should have a father and son talk." He was still in my lap and buried his head in my chest. He did not reply, so I repeated the suggestion. "Will you do it for me?"
He nodded, eyes watery and close to tears. He looked at me when he spoke next. His words left me speechless, "Will you be my mommy?"
It threw me off balance. How do you tell a child that it takes a lot to marry someone or become a parent? Even if I wanted, Jon would not be interested in someone like me. Yes, Jon was flirting all this while, but it was a game for him. We do not know each other beyond the confines of the hospital room. Then, there is a professional line that I cannot cross.
Yet, in my effort to help Nate, I had stepped over the line. What I feared, had become a reality. I had to pull back, but would I be able to do it?
I had to find a way out, without disappointing Nate. Without hurting him further.
"Things are not so simple, dear. You should leave it to your dad. But I can be your friend. I am sure your dad will not object. We can then go on play dates and share each other's secrets."
"Can I call you anytime?" The desperation in Nate's voice was clear. I was reluctant but had to give some hope to the kid, so, I shook his hand, confirming our agreement.
Emily saved me from further discomfort and took Nate's hand. "Come along, Nate. Dr. Sharon has a lot of work to do. It has been long, and our absence must be worrying Jon."
I was thankful. I did not face her, hiding my emotions. But Nate wouldn't leave me, so we walked back to Jon's room. Circumstances required that I have a one-on-one talk with Jon. I had to ask him to put a stop to Nate coming to the hospital. The distance would break the bonds that were forming.
Chapter 18: First Kiss
Jon
"May I come in? Hope I am not disturbing you?" Sharon surprises me. It is late in the evening. Not the usual time for her rounds. She is alone. Her slow, tentative walk with hands tucked inside the pockets of her white coat gives me the impression that she has something on her mind.
"No, I have nothing to do except wait for a crazy doc who keeps me confined to this bed." I wave to her with a gregarious smile as my face allows. I am alone in my room.
"Can we talk?" Her voice is feeble.
Her eyes do not have the usual sparkle. She clutches her coat tight. Something is off. She sits, facing me on the bed. We have never been this close. At least, never when we were alone.
"Forgive me, Jon, if I am interfering in your personal life. But after what happened today, I need to talk to you." The stress on her face is visible.
I should calm her down. "Before you say anything, Sharon, I wish to thank you. I am sensitive when it comes to Nate. Anything which hurts him upsets me. I can't bear his tears and often end up worsening the situation. You handled it well."
"I did nothing, Jon. Nate is a lovely child. Innocent and sensitive. He needed a shoulder to cry on. I am not sure why he chose mine though."
Her words melt my heart. Boy, can her eyes be more beautiful than this? I hold her gaze. "He chose you because you are kind to him. He likes you and is comfortable with you. In these few days, you have given him more love than his mother ever has. I appreciate it, Sharon, I do. I can never repay you for what you did today, for me and my son."
"You can, Jon. Can you spend more time with him? I understand that between your engagements and match schedules, there is not enough time, but you are the only parent Nate has." Her words make me want to hug her and never let go.
"You understand him so well, Sharon." I hold her eyes trying to convey the warmth I have in my heart for her. After a moment, she turns away and fidgets with the button on her coat.
"Not only understand, but I also relate to what he is going through. I lost both my parents when I was four."
I open my mouth but then stop myself from speaking. Should I enter this private space? The dark past she had mentioned during the operation. This is an opportunity to enter her world and become close. Someone, with whom she can share her deepest thoughts. "I am so sorry. How did it happen?"
She takes a while to respond. I let the silence be, not wanting to push her.
"My father pushed my mother down the stairs in a fit of rage. He was drunk. She died on the spot. After the funeral, he abused me. He blamed me for my mother's death. One day, one of the neighbors heard him and called the police. They took him into custody. I never saw him again. After that, I was left under the care of my uncle and his family. They were not rich, but at least I had a roof over my head and escaped the foster care system. I know what it is like to be without a parent. To live without love. Don't take your love away from Nate, Jon." Sharon chokes as she struggles to stifle the sob.
I cannot hold myself back any longer. Here is a person who works so hard to care and share her love with people, leaving aside the pain of her own life. She has opened her heart and shared a personal part of herself with me.
I lean forward, tilting her chin upward, only to find those beautiful eyes brimming with tears. A river about to break its banks. I caress the precious drops on the edges of her eyes with my thumbs and kiss her. A gentle touch, on those sweet soft lips. The kiss is sublime, and I feel her breath on my face. My heart races and my mind is on a roller coaster. I've never had this with anyone before. The moment is like experiencing heaven and I do not want to come out of this bliss.
When she pulls me closer, I am happy. The spark I suspected all along, is burning in her heart. But before I can make the kiss deeper, she pushes me away and runs. Darn, my foot. This is not the first time I curse my injury. I hate it for tying me to this bed. I would have run after her and grabbed her. Being in a hospital, I cannot raise my voice. I call her back as she runs, but she slams the door shut. Have I messed it up? Did I move too fast? Did I cross a line?
Mom, who had gone out to grab dinner, walks in, all confused. "What was that? Did you do something, Jon?"
I shrug my shoulder, but she is my mother.
"Don't mess with the girl if you are not serious." Mom holds her hand up warning me.
"Why do you think so? There is nothing between us." At this moment, I cannot deal with Mom. I had Sharon in my arms, and she pushed me away. The rejection stings.
"Quit fooling around. I am your mother and I can see how dopey eyed you go when she is around. You need to decide, Jon. Emily told me about Naomi. You need to sort this out before it messes up everyone."
"What should I do, Mom? I am confused and can't think straight with this injury."
"Sharon is a sweet girl, son. She deserves better than being treated like another fling on the sideline."
"She is not just another girl in my life, Mom. I want to know her. I have never felt this way with anyone. If only she gave me a chance. Being tied down to this bed is frustrating. It prevents me from exploring possibilities with her."
"Relationships are a constant work in progress. You can't rush them. Give it time. Give her space."
I press my hands to my head, trying to rub away the heaviness. "Hm, not sure about that. I may have acted too fast."
I spend the night restless. Send her text messages, but there is no
response. Before I doze off, I pray that I can make this better tomorrow.
Chapter 19: The Storm Within
Sharon
Why do I find it so hard to breathe? My heart is thumping away, about to break out of my chest. Almost to the point of pain. I slam the door shut after entering my room, tearing my coat off. This is not me. This never should have happened. My head is throbbing now; the veins about to burst. When I close my eyes, the memory of the kiss comes flooding back. Tears and sweat trickle down my face.
His hand was on my chin. He lifted it and wiped away the tears rolling down my eyes. He rubbed my cheeks with his thumb and fingers—his touch, soft and caring. Before I could react, I felt his lips against mine. Lost and falling in his kiss. The one thing I feared in my life. The one thing I thought I would never do. Let a man touch me in this way.
Was it only for a few seconds? It seemed like an eternity and I wanted it more, so I kissed him back. I was floating. God, his lips were divine. I did not care if it lasted. All I needed, was that one moment with him. Something I had longed for even on the day we met, on the highway. Something I could not have, something I should not have.
Reality hit me when I lost my balance and he grabbed me. It was not right and not what I went there for. This was not the plan—I went to him to draw a line but ended up crossing one.
The guilt and remorse hit me like a ton of bricks. What have I done? Why did I open up the darkest pages of my life to him? Why did I kiss him back? My cheeks are wet again, with tears rolling down uncontrolled. I fall on my knees and cover my mouth with my hands, trying to quell the sobs.
The questions keep tormenting me. After sitting on the floor for a while, I grab my things and leave for home, not wanting to be near Jon. I need to find a way out. I need to create space between us and keep my distance. Every time he is in front of me, the resolve breaks and my defenses dissolve. I cannot allow this to continue.
All the lines to cross Page 8