Anguish

by Lillie Jayne

  Theo clears his throat, and the laughter subsides.

  “Mother hens…we, er…hmm, where to start.”

  He’s nervous, I can feel him trembling next to me. Not that I’m faring much better.

  “Well, spit it out, darling. We’re all straight talking in this family,” Eleanor encourages as Rose nods beside her, then looks between Theo and me as if she hopes to find a clue.

  “Okay, I will. This is hard…but so easy, too. Okay, so Finn and me…”

  He’s still stalling, so I reach for his hand above the table and link fingers with him. He looks at me, and I nod for him to continue. The mother hens look at our joined hands, a mischievous snigger on their ageing faces.

  “Well, me and Finn…I mean, Finn and me are…” Sweat dots his top lip, which he promptly wipes away with a napkin. “That is to say, we, together, have decided to…um…”

  Both women explode into fits of giggles at Theo’s shambolic attempt at breaking our news.

  “Oh, my darling child. Sit down before you burst into flames,” Eleanor wheezes while she composes herself. My mother is still tittering behind her hand like an impertinent schoolgirl.

  “Okay, what’s so funny?” I snip, wondering what the hell has gotten into them. It’s not like them to be so discourteous.

  “Put the poor boys out of their misery, Rose.”

  The chuckling dies down and my mother takes a deep breath. “Finlay, Theodore…we know.” She nods to our joined palms and realisation dawns.

  “You know? How could you possibly know?” I ask, risking a glance at a rather pale-looking Theo.

  “How could we not know? For two intelligent young men, you can be so dense. Eleanor and I have known for a long time how much you love each other. And not in just a platonic sense. It’s so obvious.”

  Theo releases an enormous puff of air. “In what way was it obvious? We both tried, so hard, to hide our feelings. Not only from you two, and Teddy, but from each other. How did you see through that? I thought I had it locked down tight.” A flash of panic crosses Theo’s face, his eyes on stalks. “If we were that obvious, he’ll know. Father. He’ll blame Finn. He’ll…”

  I squeeze his hand and throw him a reassuring smile, hoping like hell my next words will ease his worry. “Hey, we won’t let him come between us. We haven’t yet, have we? It’s what he wants, but this time he won’t win.” I turn to our mothers who are grinning their pearly whites at us. “And you guys are okay with this? With us?”

  “Of course we are, sweet boy.” Eleanor sniffles with glassy eyes. “We’ve been waiting for this very day. You don’t know how happy this makes us.” She wipes her nose with a tissue as my mother pats her hand.

  “We couldn’t be happier, or more proud of you both. You have grown into fine young men who know their own hearts, and you’ve had the courage to grab that with both hands. This is everything we hoped. Come here.” My mother hauls me into her arms as I stand, while Eleanor does the same with Theo. Then we swap, as usual.

  Blowing her nose, along with Eleanor, my mother declares, “Okay, champagne time. Let’s celebrate.”

  The mother hens scurry down to the wine cellar to select the best vintage. I turn towards Theo at the same time he reaches out for me. In record time, we are in each other’s arms again and I breathe out a sigh of relief. If I never move another muscle, for the rest of my existence, I’ll die happy.

  Theo exhales and kisses the top of my head. “Are you okay, Sunshine?”

  I lift my gaze and stare at my entire world standing in front of me. My every thought, my every dream…my everything. A flourish of devotion drowns me, and I welcome it, inhaling every drop until my body fills to the brim.

  “I am now. I love you, so much, Theo. And yes, it’s scary as hell, but it’s also the most incredible feeling. I know we have a battle ahead of us, but what relationship doesn’t run into problems along the way? We’re stronger together, and we can do this. Side by side. Let the bastards try to rip us apart. I won’t go down without a fight, and neither will you.”

  “You’re such an inspiration, Finn. Your tenacity, your resilience…it’s humbling. My love for you grows stronger every day. Even though it should be too soon, it’s not. It’s been too long. Far too long, and I won’t waste another second denying us.”

  His soft, warm mouth meets mine, melding our hearts and our souls together as one.

  Bring it on, you fuckers.

  THEO

  Finn’s exquisite kiss invigorates me and I feel invincible. He’s right, we can win this war by sticking together, fighting for what we believe. My father can’t force me to manage the business, which is why he’s resorting to blackmail. But I’ll protect my love by any means and escape this fucking deal. I’m finished playing Teddy’s games. I don’t care if he hates me for the rest of my life.

  Finn is everything to me. My father only wants to use me to meet his own ends. Well, screw that. Tomorrow, I’ll tell Finn about Teddy blackmailing me. He’s stronger now, my fierce warrior. He wears a shield of carbon fibre. He could teach me a thing or two.

  Hearing the mother hens coming back, we break our kiss and smile at each other, Finn’s adorable dimples on full show.

  I’m a lucky bugger.

  A phone ringing startles me out of my daydream. The persistent melody and vibration is coming from my rear pocket. Digging the device out of my jeans, Lewis’s name shows on the screen. Finn flicks his eyes to mine and I answer the call, wandering away from our clucking mothers, who now have Finn in another embrace.

  “Lewis, what’s up, mate?” I say, stepping into the quiet foyer, away from the celebration.

  “Theo, I’m sorry to interrupt your trip, but I thought you would want to know as soon as possible. We’ve got him, my friend. He’s in police custody as we speak.”

  Shocked, I fall into the blue easy chair by the entrance. “Bloody hell. Are you sure? I mean, of course, you’re sure, but is it really that raping scumbag? How did you catch him?”

  “His girlfriend ratted him out. I saw her stumble out of Nightingale’s. You know, the club in SoHo?” I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me, too numb to talk. “Covered in scrapes and bruises, high on something or other and crying her eyes out. I told her I had been in the same club and wanted to help. She opened her mouth and spilled everything. Told me her boyfriend, Tom, had beat her when she refused to cooperate with his demands. Turns out he’s the main supplier to all other drug dealers in the area. Sara was only too willing to tell me how Tom likes to pick up guys, drug them and have sex with them while they are unconscious. It’s a sick fetish of his.”

  “Fucking hell, Lewis. How did he get arrested? Did one of his victims come forward?”

  “No, mate. Not yet. They arrested him for possession with the intent to supply class A drugs. They found crack, heroin, ecstasy, you name it, on his person, and Sara blabbed where he keeps his stash. It might not be the justice we want, but they will lock him up, at least.”

  “Yeah, thank God he can’t hurt anyone else while he’s doing time. What about Sara…what will happen to her? I shouldn’t be worrying about her, but she’s a victim in this as much as the others.” I drag my fingers through my hair, sweeping it off my face.

  “Look, I’ll explain in more detail when I see you, but she’s safe, for now. I just wanted you to know he was off the streets.”

  “I appreciate that, man. And thanks for everything. I owe you. More than just money.”

  “Before you thank me too much, there’s something else you should know. Something Sara told me, but I need to check it out.”

  “Go on…” Anxiety steals my breath. This can’t be good.

  “Tom was paid to attack Finn…by your father.”

  TO BE CONTINUED…

  Helplines

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  rapecrisis.org.uk

  The Survivors Trust:

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  thesurvivorstrust.org

  Find support

  National Organisation offering support and counselling for those affected by rape and sexual abuse.

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  www.rcne.com

  USA

  National Sexual Assault Hotline:

  800.656.HOPE and online.rainn.org

  En Español: rainn.org/es

  Thank You

  Thank you for reading ANGUISH. I really hope you enjoyed the first instalment of Theo and Finn’s journey to be together. If you did, please consider leaving a review on the site you purchased from.

  As a new author, I would be forever grateful.

  Acknowledgments

  First, I would like to thank you, my readers, for purchasing a copy of Anguish and taking the time to read it. That, for me, is the ultimate honour. Knowing someone is finally reading my words is a blessed relief.

  I was originally plotting a different story when these boys appeared in my head, determined to be heard. So, I changed course and Anguish happened. There’s more to come from Theo and Finn, and I know I will love writing book two as much as I’ve loved writing book one.

  That being said, there have also been difficult times when I knew what I wanted to say but the words wouldn’t come. Pretty much like real life, huh?

  That’s where my amazing husband comes in, and its Mr J I would like to thank next. Babe, you have put up with all my moments of self-doubt and have talked me down from that ledge many times. You know me better than I know myself and without your love, support and belief in me, well, my words would still be on my laptop. I love you so very much.

  My daughter and my mum. Thank you both for reading this (even the steamy scenes) and giving me your honest opinion. I appreciate that more than you know and don’t ever stop being real with me. I also want to thank you both for your unwavering love and support. I love you both beyond words.

  To my amazing proofreader Judy. You have the most amazing eye for detail. You truly worked magic and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  Sabre Rose, you were the first person to ever help on this journey and gave me much needed advice when I felt so lost and alone. Thank you for taking the time to guide me in the right direction.

  And last, but by no means least, thank you to Clare London. Without your help with my first blurb I would still be a quivering wreck. So, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  Until book two,

  xx Lillie xx

  About the Author

  If you want to get to know Lillie better, you can join her and her crew at:

  Lillie’s Loose Lounge

  Lillie Jayne is an emerging author of Gay Contemporary Romance. This is Lillie’s first book and, hopefully, the start of many. Anguish is book one of the Together, Always trilogy.

  Lillie loves nothing better than spending time with her family in North East England. When not doing that, she loves to read many genres, including Paranormal Romance. Her favourite authors include J.R Ward, Riley Hart, Jaclyn Osborn, Trina M Lee, Ella Frank and Brooke Blaine, and Sabre Rose.

  She is also partial to a slice of cake and a great cup of coffee.

  Coming Soon by Lillie Jayne

  TOGETHER, ALWAYS SERIES

  ANGUISH

  AVENGE

  ALWAYS