The Portal to Sidhe: Book 2

by Kelsey Schaeffer

  David paused again and shook his head once more before speaking, “I promised to one day avenge Desmorelda for what she did to my wife, and this…this is finally my chance.”

  I reached out and took his arm, “I’m so sorry David. I’m so sorry.” I paused, “Desmorelda killed Ben…before we brought him back to life.”

  “Yeah...I know all about that,” David said. “I’m sorry too, but I’m glad you were able to bring him back to life.”

  I nodded my head, but I didn’t say another word. The two of us worked in silence for a long time as the death of David’s unborn child brought back memories of my own secret loss—a secret that Damon and I had kept locked away for so many years. As David and I worked under the starlight, memories began to unfold like demons that had been locked away.

  The first time Damon and I had spontaneously made love, I had enjoyed every moment as our bodies collided together, but when I woke up the next morning with my skin pressed to Damon’s naked body, I quickly panicked and jumped out of bed.

  “Where are you going?” Damon said softly with a dreamy smile upon his face.

  “Damon…we…we,”

  “What’s wrong Miranda? Did I hurt you last night?”

  “No,” I said, “I just need to shower.”

  Damon frowned and looked confused by my behavior.

  After our first intimate encounter, my friendship with Damon returned to normal, and I didn’t invite him to my bed again. Although, Damon never said a word about our night together, he seemed confused when I pulled away from him. He tried to hold me and kiss me, but I always pulled away, acting as if he were only my friend. After several weeks of trying to show me affection, he finally stopped trying.

  Almost two months after Damon and I had slept together, the two of us were completely back to normal, and Damon seemed to accept that I was not ready to be more than friends. But everything changed the night I felt very ill, and I found out I was in fact pregnant. That evening after we put Benny to bed, I asked Damon to bedroom once more, but this time I invited him to sit on the couch.

  The moment Damon was seated, he said, “Miranda, can we talk about what—”

  But I didn’t let him finish. “I need to tell you something,” I said nervously.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  I nodded my head, but I didn’t know how to speak the words I needed to say. When I had been pregnant before, I was terrified to tell Ben, but he was absolutely thrilled. This situation was much different; I was pregnant with my best friend’s child.

  “Damon,” I asked, “do you want your own children some day?”

  Damon smiled, but looked confused as he said, “With you?”

  “I guess…” I said.

  “Well Miranda…I asked you to marry me when we were kids, I…I slept with you the other night and I’m helping you raise your son. Do you really need to ask?”

  I just sat there silently as I knew the answer to his question so I blurted out, “I’m pregnant.”

  Damon looked stunned. He stared at me for a moment before he said, “But we only…one time!”

  “I know,” I said, not knowing what else to say, but in seconds a huge smile crept across Damon’s face.

  “Miranda, I’m so happy!” he cried as he wrapped me in his arms and kissed me on the cheek. “Does this mean…we’re together now. I thought we were after that night…but you have been pushing me away. I’m so confused.”

  “Well, I’m pregnant...so I mean…yeah…we’re together” I said without much confidence.

  “Are you sure this is what you want?” he said as he held my hand in his.

  I nodded my head, but I really didn’t know.

  A single impulsive action, resulting in pregnancy drew Damon and I together in a way that we had never been. As soon as Damon found out I was pregnant, he tried to be affectionate to me once again. At first I pushed him away as my heart still belonged to Ben, but by that next night, I allowed him to sleep by my side. Damon was thrilled I was finally allowing him to be more than my friend.

  The second month of my pregnancy, my friendship with Damon turned into so much more. Damon began sleeping in my bedroom, and we publically shared our affection. My family was thrilled that I had moved on so quickly, but the baby I carried was still a secret between only the two of us.

  When I was nine weeks pregnant, Damon’s baby growing inside of me, finally brought me close to Damon the way he had always wanted me. The two of us were falling more in love each day, and my memories of Ben were finally fading into the dark past. Although our unborn child was still a secret, the two of us were preparing to share our exciting news. But before we had the chance to make our big announcement, one night I was tragically jolted awake.

  “Miranda. Wake up Babe,” I heard Damon whisper.

  It took me a moment to wake up, but when I did I felt something warm flowing between my legs.

  “Turn on the lights!” I screamed as Damon quickly jumped out of bed.

  “Miranda, I felt something wet on the sheets. I—”

  I began to scream in panic the moments the lights were turned on, and I saw the sheets were soaked in fresh warm blood. As soon as Damon saw the blood, he quickly ran to my side and wrapped me in a blanket.

  “Oh my God! The baby!” Damon howled as he quickly used the two-way device to call for help. “We need a healing fairy to our suit…fast!” Damon yelled into the speaker.

  As soon as he put down the device, he quickly ran to my side and wrapped his arms around me while I sobbed. It only took a few minutes for a healing fairy to arrive at our door, and the moment she entered, she ran to my side. She looked horrified when she saw the tremendous amount of blood soaked in the sheets.

  The moment she reached my side, she looked at Damon as she said, “I need you to go to the infirmary and get help. Please tell them to bring supplies for a threatened miscarriage.”

  “Miscarriage!” Damon cried as I saw tears begin running down his cheeks.

  “You need to go now if there is any chance!” She hissed.

  Damon nodded his head and ran out of the room. The healing fairy quickly placed her hands on me and shut her eyes. After only a few seconds, I saw a grim look creep across her face, and she shook her head.

  “My baby?” I asked quietly as I felt weak tears falling from my eyes.

  “I want to see the ultrasound,” was her only response as she gently pressed her hands around my stomach.

  Only a few minutes after Damon left, he quickly returned with a staff of fairies pushing carts of equipment. In minutes, an IV was placed in my arm, and I was connected to several machines. The healing fairy quickly began rubbing the portable ultrasound over my belly as she gazed at the monitor. After a few seconds, she began to shake her head once more.

  “What’s wrong?” Damon asked. He was covered in my blood and he was softly wiping his tears away.

  The fairy looked between the two of us and said, “I’m sorry, but there is no heart beat. I’m going to run some more tests to be sure…” she shook her head, “but I’m sorry, it looks like you lost the baby.”

  I nodded my head but her words didn’t absorb in my mind. I stared ahead as I tried to comprehend what was going on. I could hear Damon crying besides me as he reached out and grasped my hand, but he seemed miles away as my mind was aimlessly drifting in a million directions.

  As my mind flourished with thoughts of Damon and the child we lost, I was jolted back to the present when David spoke up, “So how’s that all working out for you?”

  I had been lost in my thoughts and had completely forgot what David and I had been talking about. “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “You and Damon...and Ben?” he said. “Sorry, not trying to be nosy.”

  “It’s fine,” I said, actually feeling grateful to have someone to discuss my feelings with, after keeping them locked away for so long. David looked at me, patiently waiting for me to continue. “I don’t know what to do,” I finally r
eplied. “Honestly, eight years ago, even a year ago I would have married Ben the day he was brought back to life. It’s more complicated now. Damon’s been a father to Benny his entire life...and now we have Luke…and Damon’s King of both Pine Lake and Sidhe. I know our marriage isn’t really valid like it is on Earth...but I can’t just leave him…he has been by my side through…so much.”

  “Do you love him?” David asked.

  “Of course I do. I have known him my entire life. He’s my best friend. I can’t imagine my life without him.”

  “So what’s the problem then?” David asked. “You’ve been away from Ben eight years...you moved on. Ben will move on.”

  “It’s not that simple,” I said. “I can’t just move on. Ben is Benny’s real father, and I love Ben so much. He’s wonderful and kind and so tender-hearted.” I paused. “Ben was my first true love. The two of us were captured and brought to Sidhe. We talked about a secret marriage, and we went through so much together. Then I got pregnant, and I had to leave Ben behind. I came back for him, so the three of us could be a family...and Desmorelda killed him...right in front of me.”

  “I’m sorry, Miranda,” David said as he shook his head.

  “I can’t choose between them. I love them both,” I said. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “I don’t have any advice for you. I’ve loved one woman my whole life and that bitch killed her...but I get that’s gotta be tough on ya, and when it comes down to it, you gotta put those children first. I’d do anything to see my unborn daughter,” he said as he quickly wiped a tear away.

  I reached out and wrapped my arms around David’s giant body as he began to cry. He was tough as steel, but beneath his metal shell, he had a heart of gold and was much more sensitive than he let on. It had only been a little over twenty-four hours since we left the castle, but I already knew David was going to be the kind of friend I would have for life.

  As I held David while he cried, I heard a rustling coming from the opening of the cave. As I quickly pulled away from David, he rapidly wiped his tears away and began cleaning his knife as if nothing was going on. As I looked towards the cave, I saw Damon crawling out of the hole, with a flashlight in hand.

  As he came to our side, he said, “Babe, I have been worried about you. It’s been several hours.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I’ve been helping David butcher the beast. We’re almost done.”

  “I think he’s just ‘bout finished,” David said, “Miranda, why don’t you go in and get a good fire set up for us to cook this beast on.” David looked towards Damon, “ Damon you can help me carry in the meat.” Then David looked back towards me, “Send Nathen out to fill a pot up with snow. We can boil it to fill our canteens.”

  I nodded my head, and headed back into the cave. Once I was inside, I quickly washed the beast gore from off my hands and clothes. Nathen fetched water, and shortly after, Damon and David began carrying piles of meat in. Once all the meat was carried inside, David began cooking a feast. As we all sat around the fire, I sat with Damon to my left and Ben to my right. As Ben continued to drink plenty of water and eat, the color was returning to his face, but he was still quite weak.

  As David began to pass around the meat, I looked towards Ben and said, “Are you feeling better?”

  “A little bit,” he said quietly as he took a large chunk of meat.

  I reached my hand behind his back and gave it a quick rub, “I hope you start feeling better soon,” I said.

  “Maybe we should send Ben back,” Damon said in a jealous tone as he watched me care for Ben.

  “He’s my son,” Ben said quietly, “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “He’s my son too,” Damon said, “I raised him, I’m not going to stop until he’s safe at home.”

  “I thank you for that,” Ben said. Then his voice grew louder, “I’m not going back to the castle. You can continue without me, but I’ll be close behind the moment my leg heals.”

  “We aren’t going to leave you,” I said as I gave Damon a disapproving look.

  I heard Damon grunt. I couldn’t believe the way Damon was acting. Only the night before, Damon told me he forgave me, and now he was acting like a jealous child. I tried to enjoy the surprisingly scrumptious meal David prepared, but my mind was turning in a thousand directions.

  As soon as I finished eating as much meat as my stomach could handle, I looked at Ben and said quietly, “Do you think you can make it outside? I really need to talk to you.”

  He nodded his head and said, “It’s only a short crawl.”

  Then I looked at Damon and said, “When you’re finished eating, I want you to go outside with Ben and I. The three of us need to talk.”

  Chapter 11

  As soon as Damon finished his last piece of meat, the three of us slowly crawled out of the cave. We each had a flashlight in hand as we stepped into the dreadfully cold air. The distant moon barley lit the dark landscape as glittering stars sparkled the black sky. I looked around and saw a tree stump surrounded by thick protective trees not far from the entrance to the cave. I headed towards the stump as the blistering wind hammered against my body. Ben was trailing further behind Damon and I as he was obviously in great pain. When Ben reached the stump, I gestured for him to sit against it, and Damon and I sat in the powdery snow.

  I took a moment to gather my thoughts before I started to speak, “I wanted to wait until after we found Benny, but after being out here for only a night...I realize the three of need to talk…now”

  “What’s there to talk about?” Damon grumbled.

  “Well first of all, yesterday, you said you forgave me. Now you’re acting jealous,” I said, “I know I screwed up Damon. I know what I did with Ben was...wrong, but this whole situation is so shitty.”

  “It’s shitty for me too!” Damon said.

  “And me…” Ben said quietly.

  “I don’t know what to do Damon!” I yelled.

  “Miranda, don’t get too loud,” Ben said calmly. “We don’t want more snow beasts.”

  I nodded my head in agreement. Then Damon said, “If you want to be with Ben…then be with him. I don’t care. All you do is push me away...just don’t take my boys away from me.”

  I felt tears falling from my eyes as I said, “That isn’t what I want Damon. I want...I need you both. I love you both. The three of us are a family, whether the two of you like it or not. I can’t pick between the two of you.” I looked at Ben, “I never stopped loving you.” Then I looked at Damon, “The last eight years, I have only grown to love you more...you’re not just my best friend anymore Damon. My feelings for you are so much more than that. I know I pushed you away, but it’s because I was confused…and scared. I couldn’t tell you I still loved Ben because I didn’t want you to leave Benny and I. I needed you...” I sighed, “and I still do.”

  The three of us were silent for quite some time. As I begged Damon not to leave me, my thoughts returned to the night Damon and I lost our first child.

  Damon and I both cried as the healing fairy confirmed my miscarriage.

  “I don’t know what I did wrong,” I moaned. “I have been taking care of myself and being careful. I don’t understand how this happened.”

  “Sometimes these things just happen,” the fairy said with a tone of compassion.

  “Is there something wrong with me?” I asked.

  “Nothing that I can find. Sometimes a miscarriage is a way for the body to dispose of a baby that didn’t develop properly,” the fairy said mechanically.

  As the fairy said, “dispose” I felt sickened by what had happened. I began to sob as Damon crawled into the soiled bed with me to lie by my side.

  “You need to take it easy for a few days, but by next week, I don’t see any reason you can’t try again,” the fairy said. “Is there anything you need?” she asked.

  I shook my head as I wiped the tears away.

  The fairy gave Damon and I a hopeful smile. Then she s
aid, “I’ll send someone to help the two of you clean up.” She looked at me, “If your feeling up to…may I suggest a warm bath.”

  As soon as the healing fairy left Damon and I alone, I began to sob in his arms. As Damon held me tight, I felt tears emerging from Damon’s eyes, but after a few moments, he quickly wiped them away and he said, “Why don’t we get you in the bath while housekeeping…cleans u?”

  I nodded my head and let him guide me to the tub. As I continued to cry, I suddenly realized how bad I wanted the baby. The infant Damon and I had lost was completely unplanned, but the baby had began a love between Damon and I that I had somehow overlooked.

  The week following my miscarriage was emotionally draining as I spent most of it recovering in bed. We told our families and the realm I was not feeling well as I lay in bed, mourning the child I had lost. Damon wanted to tell our parents of the tragic event, but I begged him to keep the secret between him and I. No one had even known I was pregnant.

  By the end of the first week, I began to push my feelings aside and resumed my duties as Queen. Only one week after the tragic loss of my child as Damon and I were lying in bed, he began to kiss me with intimate passion. Since we had first spontaneously made love, we had yet to be intimate again as we had been so focused on the baby. I kissed Damon in return, using his passion to mask my sorrows, but when he began to remove my pajamas, I quickly pulled away.

  “Are you in pain?” Damon asked as I jerked away.

  I shook my head.

  “What’s wrong babe?” he asked.

  “I’m just not ready for this Damon.”

  “I understand,” he said. Then he gazed deeply into my eyes and said, “Miranda, I know this wasn’t planned, but I don’t want to wait. I want to try again. I want a baby with you so bad.”