We Will Rend

by Nicole Thorn

  Words bubbled up my throat, but I didn’t say them. I bit down on my tongue, hunching into a ball in the circle. I would not be the reason we lost this trial. I wouldn’t be… but if the gods made me watch as a little boy drowned to death, then I would be a vengeance they never saw coming.

  The older boy called his brother a few times, threatening him with extreme physical violence if this turned out to be a joke.

  Tell your parents, make them jump into the water. Do it, I begged him, squeezing fists so hard that I felt blood starting to trickle down my palms.

  Finally, the older boy panicked. He rushed to the lake and dove in without thinking. I wanted to scream some more. He looked barely bigger than Billy, and he was going to drag his brother up from the bottom?

  My throat ached with how badly I wanted to scream at him. To scream at anyone to get the boys out of the water. Both of them. They would suffocate each other, they would both die, all while I sat in a fucking circle doing nothing. I was a goddess, and they expected me to just sit there and do—

  The surface of the water broke. The older boy screamed for help as he tried to keep his younger brother above the water. A man finally appeared, looking a lot like the boys. He had panic in his eyes as he rushed forward, hauling both of them out of the water. He dumped the children onto the bank and started trying to get Billy to breathe. Then I realized what the point had been.

  I hadn’t needed to interfere for everything to be fine.

  The world vanished around me, becoming bright and loud. The people in the audience had started to applaud.

  “You did it!” Callie said, putting enough fake cheer into her words that I wanted to punch the gods in the face for making her do this. “You passed your trial.”

  I’d barely turned around before arms circled me. Zander’s, squeezing so tightly that I could barely breathe through his relief.

  Zander

  I saw that sliver of leftover terror when I looked into her eyes. Jasmine smiled, her lips moving as she spoke into a microphone about how she wasn’t worried from the start. Callie nodded along, prompting her with more questions. Jasmine played the game like she’d been born to do it, keeping that bright smile pinned to her face as she displayed every ounce of cockiness in her whole body. I hated looking at it. I hated hearing it at the same time I could see her try and keep her hands from shaking.

  I stood on the sidelines with Aster as he watched his girlfriend suffer along with mine. He bounced on his feet, reminding me of a runner waiting for the starting gun.

  “I hate this,” Aster breathed, pressing a hand to his chest. “My heart hasn’t stopped racing since we got here. I don’t know who in the hell’s idea it was to use Callie like a prop, but I want to break their neck.”

  I knew that kind of fury all too well. “The gods do things because they can. Because it entertains them, or sometimes, they come up with what they think is a good excuse. I don’t know why they bother.”

  “Callie shouldn’t be here,” Aster said. “She’s barely more than human, and it’s too dangerous to be in the middle of all this potential chaos. Not to mention what it’s doing to her head. You didn’t see her after your trial, but she didn’t sleep that night. Not that it was easy on you.” The kid took a breath. “It’s just that—”

  “You don’t have to explain to me,” I said, holding my hands up. “When you have a person, they matter most. Don’t worry about me, I can handle myself just fine. Focus on Callie.”

  “I don’t even know what to do for her. How do you comfort someone when they’re being forced to torture their friends? You know it’ll only get worse from here, right?”

  I knew that. I spent every second of the day thinking about how much worse it would get. We weren’t even halfway through and I already thought my heart would give out as I watched Jasmine full of fear, wondering if she would have to watch a little boy drown. I knew that feeling all too well, putting it on your own shoulders. If the boy had died, Jasmine would have to carry that with her, and it worried me to think how that pain would manifest.

  I doubted she would have taken it like me, letting it blister and ache on the inside. She would want to be better. She would want to make up for it in all kinds of dangerous and horrifying ways. Jasmine already thought she was untouchable, and I shuddered to think what she would do if she really had something to prove.

  “Callie is going to be okay,” I promised Aster. “That girl holds the voices of the gods in her head and manages to function better than most of us.”

  “But what happens if the gods want her to do something else? They could call on her for anything.”

  “They won’t. Callie is the immortal Oracle, and that means something. They want her safe. Physically. The gods don’t give a shit about her head, but I can promise you that when this war comes, she’ll be the safest person on the planet.”

  “Do you believe that?”

  I didn’t believe I could get everyone out alive, and that included Callie. That didn’t mean it wouldn’t happen, didn’t mean we would die, and didn’t mean we were in any danger. It just meant that I couldn’t make myself believe we would survive a war to come. Even with three gods on our side, four demigods, the Oracle, and a Hunter, this was war. War had casualties, and since when did I get lucky enough to not lose things?

  But I could feel the worry running deep through Aster, and I thought of what a brother would say. The gods intended for me to be his brother. Just because it didn’t work out didn’t mean I should skip on my responsibilities. Aster didn’t have half the confidence I did, and that really said something. It was my job to fix it.

  “I do,” I lied. “When the war comes, it won’t be any of you on the front lines. I’ll make sure of it.”

  Jasmine took a bow as the lights dimmed and Callie lowered her mic. Callie took a breath, staring up at the ceiling with irritation. I wanted the gods to pay for all the stress they’d put her under, along with the rest of us. I hated knowing they would never suffer for it.

  “You did amazing, baby,” I told Jasmine as she walked to me, Aster taking her place beside Callie with Micha. I smiled, holding my arms out so she could tuck herself against me. I lifted her in the air for a tight hug, then gave her a gentle shake like a wolf trying to break the neck of a bunny. “I’ll have to reward your hard work with some work of my own later.”

  “Ooh,” she said when I set her down. “I like where you’re going with this. Only one more trial for each of us. You excited?”

  I rolled my eyes. “So excited. Maybe I’ll get to drown a baby. Oh, or maybe slit Kizzy’s throat.”

  Jasmine swatted at my arm. “You’ll do fine in whatever you get, and I’m sure it won’t be as heartbreaking as your last one. Kizzy’s wasn’t. It just needs to be a challenge.”

  Maybe my heart was too easy to break.

  “I think I’m done with being challenged.”

  I thought she would be a little more shaken after her trial, given what I’d seen in her eyes. It wasn’t all gone when I looked at her, but she seemed to pay it no mind, even with me. I didn’t know if I should have pushed her to talk to me about it or let it go so it didn’t eat away at her. With Jasmine, it was hard to know the right thing to do. I had no choice but to hope she came to me with it once she was ready.

  With the interviews over, we could enjoy our stress in the privacy of our own rooms. I would have preferred for us all to sit in the lobby so I could keep an eye on the others, but no one else seemed down for that. They all thought they would be just as safe alone as they were with me, and I didn’t want anyone to learn the truth the hard way.

  “I can bring you something to eat,” I told Jasmine as we passed the green room. “You want anything?”

  “Everything,” she told me. “Hurry back, okay?” Jasmine lifted up on her toes to kiss my cheek, her lips lingering on me as her nails dug into my side.

  “As fast as I can,” I promised.

  I slipped into the green room, intent on
getting as much food as I could shove onto a plate in three minutes flat. While Jasmine wanted to put on a good front, she couldn’t hide her feelings from me. I tried not to meddle where I didn’t belong, but the magic had a mind of its own sometimes. It was worse with the people I knew well.

  Kizzy was in the green room when I arrived, and I gave my little sister a big hug in greeting. “You hanging in there?” I asked.

  “I was,” she breathed against me. “Then you squeezed me so hard you made me drop my cookie.”

  I looked down to see a dead oatmeal raisin cookie, crushed on the ground. “Sorry,” I whispered.

  Kizzy straightened herself out when I set her down. “I take it you’re here for a meal. You didn’t want to have it delivered by that dead-eyed girl in the lobby?”

  I sucked in a breath through my teeth. “Nah, I prefer to have my meals without the smell of despair around me. Maybe next time though. You?”

  Kizzy turned to the table of luxurious food, eyeing it like she didn’t trust what she saw. “I thought me and Jasper could have a little date in our room. He’s been kind of upset since after his trial.”

  “After?”

  She turned to me, pinkish eyebrow lifted. “Well, it happens when you have someone yelling all your insecurities at you, and then you get your sister coming in to scream at you like you did something wrong. I love Jasmine a lot, but I had to keep myself from punching her in the face.”

  I blinked. “What?”

  “What, what?”

  “Jasmine yelled at him?”

  Kizzy’s eyes went wide. “I thought you knew. I guess I assume you guys tell each other almost everything. Haven’t you noticed that we haven’t really spoken since your trial? She won’t come near us.”

  I’d picked up on the silence. Jasmine didn’t mention it at all, or even give any hint that she’d gone and done something like that. I had to assume she knew I wouldn’t approve.

  “Kiz, I didn’t tell her to do that. I swear to the gods I would never.”

  “I know that,” Kizzy said. “Jasper knows it too. He told me you guys talked and were okay. Jasmine on the other hand…”

  I wouldn’t let that stand. Not when we were in the middle of all this shit and constant stress. It would only make us lose focus on the trials at hand, and we couldn’t afford even a single second of losing that focus. It could get people killed. I had to live with the things I couldn’t change, but this wasn’t one of them.

  I patted Kizzy on the shoulder before I took off for my room. I told myself not to get snippy with Jasmine because I understood why she’d attacked her brother. I’d been hurt by the things I shouldn’t have heard, and she wanted to make it better. She wanted to fix what couldn’t be fixed. I did the same thing literally every day of my life.

  When I walked into our room and found Jasmine on the bed, she frowned at me. “No food? I was promised food, Zander. You can’t jerk me around like that.”

  I crossed my arms, staring her down. “You wanna tell me why you and Jasper and Kizzy aren’t talking to each other?”

  Jasmine huffed, tilting her chin up indignantly. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Jazz.”

  She threw her hands up. “You were so upset! Your hands were shaking, and I just knew what your insides must have felt like. Jasper said a whole bunch of terrible things. And before you try and defend him by saying it was for a trial, first off, he thought it was you. He was prepared to say all that to your face, true or not. Second, it was cruel, and my job as your lady is to defend you. You would have done the same for me.”

  I probably wouldn’t have iced out my sister, but I didn’t say that. “You need to make up with them right now. We don’t know what challenges are going to come, and we all have to be on good terms. For all we know, this is part of another trial, and the gods want us all messed up.”

  Jasmine stood, her hands on her hips. “I’m still mad about what he said. Kizzy defended him, of course.”

  “Of course,” I repeated. “That’s her husband. Spouse wins out over siblings. Those are just the rules.”

  “Those are stupid rules.”

  I smiled crookedly. “Really? So, if you and Kizzy got into a fight, you would want me to take her side?”

  She stuck her tongue out at me. “We’re not married.”

  “Girlfriend loses to sister then? You’d be fine with me taking her side right now over something?”

  “Not the point.”

  I laughed, actually feeling a little amused. “Please, can you just go make up with them? If anything, it would be a favor to me. I can’t deal with all this stress, and you all being upset while we have to do trials. I don’t want the gods to have anything on us.”

  I watched her as she considered me, and I really didn’t know what she would say. I understood what upset her. If I had to listen to Kizzy list all of Jasmine’s insecurities and regrets, then I would have been angry too. But I could easily forgive Jasper for the truths he felt he needed to say. My mother had to push him, and I hated her for it. To her, it didn’t matter that it would wreck me. She wanted warriors who could handle her weapon, and this would get that for her. My whole existence was because she had been bored, so I really couldn’t be that heartbroken that Mom would hurt me like this. She probably didn’t even view me as a real person.

  I realized this would do nothing to get her to open up to me about her trial. Forcing Jasmine into things never worked out the way one would hope, and it only made things worse. I couldn’t budge on this though, because we had lives on the line. These things could depend on us all working together as a team, and one little issue could mean the end of us, and losing our edge to win this war for people who wouldn’t fight it for themselves.

  “For you, I’ll do it,” Jasmine decided. Pointing at me, she said, “You owe me some real good lovin’ for the possible groveling I’ll have to do. You got me?”

  I nodded. “All the lovin’ you want, and in whatever manner you so choose.”

  She grinned. “And say I’m better at wooing than you.”

  I lifted my eyebrows. “You ask too much of me. I would never lie to you like that.”

  “Fine! I’ll just have to defeat you hard enough that you can admit it to me. I suppose you want to come with me for this make-up?”

  I did because I didn’t know if something would set her off and she would tumble into the deep end.

  I followed her out and turned to Jasper and Kizzy’s room. Jasmine got there before me, so Kizzy opened the door to see her. She sighed, then let Jasmine in. I went in after her, quietly thanking my sister.

  Jasper sat in a chair in the corner, picking at the food Kizzy had brought them. He glanced up at his sister and I, probably preparing for drama none of us had time for.

  “Yes?” he asked.

  Jasmine stared me daggers before she sighed, turning to her brother. “Jasper, Kizzy, I’m sorry that I got mad at both of you after Jasper’s trial. Things were said that I wish hadn’t been.”

  “It’s fine,” Jasper said to her. “We’re all under a lot of pressure, and I don’t blame you.”

  “Is that it?”

  “Um… yeah.”

  “Really? You don’t want to maybe tell Zander you’re sorry for what you said to the fake him? That was some messed up shit you spouted off, and you know he heard it all.”

  I put my hand on her shoulder, trying to make her stop. “I don’t need him to say sorry for it. I don’t actually want him to say sorry.” That would only make the words sting more because he couldn’t take them back. I couldn’t unhear the things some part of him thought, and every part of me believed. I couldn’t undo my mistakes, and now I had five other people who knew about them. Who knew every misstep I’d ever taken. That came with consequences.

  “You know I didn’t mean it,” Jasper said.

  I nodded. “I know you don’t think you did. I don’t want to talk about that right now. We could be facing another trial tomorrow and I wo
uld rather not have all this swimming around in my head for that.”

  Jasper put his hands up. “Then I think we should just call it and say we’re all fine with each other. We can put it behind us and never think about it again.”

  I’d spent hours thinking about it. I would spend hours more with it on my mind, coming back to me in those dark moments where everything else was too quiet. That was always how it happened. That was when I would think about what Kizzy looked like when she’d showed up at my house, or when the door had been opened with Jasmine’s body just inside. I didn’t get to escape, and maybe I didn’t deserve to.

  “Deal,” I said. “Jasmine, do you agree to these terms?”

  With a sigh, she did. “We can all play nice, but I won’t stay nice if something else like this happens again. For the sake of getting through the rest of our trials, I say we’re done fighting.”

  “Good,” I said. “Then I think we should go down to that green room and eat every single thing they were stupid enough to put out for us.”

  Jasmine

  M y brother and Kizzy left the green room about an hour later. Verin and Juniper hadn’t shown up at all, but that didn’t surprise me. The two of them liked to spend a lot of alone time together. Zander wanted to head back to our room, but I enjoyed the food too much. “Just let me have a few more plates of food,” I said, smiling at him and wiggling my hips.

  He laughed. “We can take them with us. Or better yet, order food from room service.”

  My eyes went dull with longing. I had forgotten that room service was a thing. A delicious thing that tried to bring me whatever I wanted. Mmm. “All right,” I said, throwing my hands up. “Take me away, good sir. Just know that I can’t do anything naughty to you until I’ve gotten my fill of baked goods, meats, and maybe even a vegetable or two. Ooh, I wonder if they would send me steak.” I closed my eyes, picturing a steak the size of my head.