Hot SEAL, Cold Feet

by Becca Jameson

  Seconds later, it buzzed.

  She nearly jumped out of her skin flipping it over to see the text.

  It was from him. Thank God.

  Jodi, I’m so very sorry. Something came up that I need to handle. Can I please have a rain check for our date? I promise I’ll make it up to you as soon as I can.

  She was shaking as she read and reread his message. Something came up? What the hell does that mean? Nothing made sense. She thought she might actually pass out from nerves.

  “Well, what did he say?” her dad asked.

  “He’s not coming,” she whispered.

  “What?” Her dad got to his feet and came to her side. He took the phone gently from her hand and read the message himself. Afterward, he pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight, kissing the top of her head. “Honey, I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but like I said, give the man some space. He didn’t say he wasn’t coming ever. He said he needed a rain check.”

  “He’s gonna ghost me,” she murmured, fighting back a sob.

  “What the hell does that mean?” Her dad pulled her back a few inches to meet her gaze.

  She rolled her eyes and almost laughed through her tears. “Dad…”

  “What? I seriously don’t know what you mean. He’s going to ghost you? Is that supposed to mean you think he’s going to haunt you in your sleep or something?”

  She swatted at his chest, giggling now. “No. Good grief. It’s when someone stops responding to you. It’s a copout. Doesn’t really apply here because he did text, but he didn’t say anything that made sense, so if he never texts me again, I’ve been ghosted.”

  Her dad looked at her with the most serious, concerned eyes. “Hon, he wouldn’t do that. Stop feeling so sorry for yourself. He’s a good man. Give him space. He said he has shit to do, he has shit to do. When he’s done, he’ll call.”

  Chapter 26

  “I came as soon as I could.” Nick was still rushing toward Tuck’s booth at McP’s as he spoke. He slid into the opposite bench and narrowed his eyes in concern. “I’m so sorry. When did she pass?”

  Tuck swallowed. “Last night while I was on the set of that stupid reality show.”

  Nick groaned. “Man, that seriously sucks. I feel bad for getting you into that. The timing was awful.”

  “And I’ve told you already, it’s not your fault. You didn’t force me to do it, and you sure didn’t make me sign on for the extended three months.”

  “I know, but I should have found someone whose mother wasn’t in such critical condition. You probably didn’t get to see her as much in the last few months.”

  “I saw her the same amount as always. I went twice a week, and the only person who might have remotely benefitted from those visits was me. She never knew I was there in the end.”

  “Did you realize she was this close?”

  “I should have. She hadn’t woken up in a few days. She had a blood clot. It’s common.” Tuck reached for the pitcher of beer he’d already ordered and begun to consume before Nick arrived. He poured a second glass for Nick and slid it over to him before refilling his own.

  “I watched the show last night,” Nick murmured before taking a sip. “It was…interesting.”

  Tuck chuckled for the first time all day. “That’s an understatement.”

  “Did you know she was married?”

  “Never had a clue. I don’t think she knew she was married, or at least she hadn’t been willing to face the fact that her stint in Vegas would be legally binding.”

  “Just so you know, if your mom hadn’t died a few hours ago, I would be laughing my ass off right now.” Nick shot him a slight grin, his eyes dancing.

  “Yeah, I deserve that.”

  “It was like a Jerry Springer show.”

  “If I had a dollar for as many times as I’ve already heard that. It was the buzz around the set before the show ended.”

  “I bet. So, it’s over? You’re completely done with that woman?” Nick shuddered. He knew Katia well enough that he could relate.

  “Yes.” Tuck lifted his gaze. “Would you believe Joanne practically begged me to star on the next season’s show. She was so desperate; I think she would have given me the moon to do it. When I told her I had a woman waiting for me, she even suggested adding Jodi to the show. I nearly died. Imagine that. Jodi on a reality show. Not fucking likely.”

  “Speaking of Jodi, where is she?”

  Tuck exhaled slowly. “I haven’t called her yet.”

  Nick flinched. “Why the hell not?”

  Tuck shrugged. “I’m a mess. I need to deal with my mom and get that stupid show behind me and clear my head before I face her. She deserves more than I can offer this week.”

  “Please tell me you’re kidding. That’s the lamest thing I’ve ever heard. You’ve been with this woman every chance you had for a month. Last time we talked you were willing to give up fifty thousand dollars for her. Now you don’t even call her after the show ends?”

  Tuck squirmed in his seat. “I would have. I fully intended to. I was supposed to pick her up today at noon after I went to the courthouse to file for divorce. When I found out I didn’t even need a divorce, I intended to go straight to her in the middle of the night. I was so desperate to have her in my arms for real for the first time it was like I was on drugs.”

  “And then you found out your mom had died.”

  “Yes.”

  “Have you even told her that much?”

  “No.” This was sounding stupider by the moment now that Tuck was saying it out loud. He groaned. “I didn’t want the first day of our actual relationship to be all about me. I’m a wreck. My mom just died. All I can think about is my childhood and how she didn’t deserve this and how unfair it is. I can’t switch that off and be the perfect boyfriend Jodi deserves this week.”

  Nick stared at him for several moments before he cleared his throat. “You’re an idiot.”

  Tuck flinched. “Thanks.”

  “No. Really. Listen to yourself. From what you’ve told me about Jodi, she’s not going to care that you’re sad and dealing with a death at the beginning of your relationship. It shows you’re human and that you loved your mom and that you’re a good guy. She is, however, going to dump your ass in a heartbeat when she finds out your mom died and you didn’t even tell her.”

  Tuck cringed. He stared at his beer and thought about Nick’s words. “Fuck. You’re right.”

  “I know I am. That’s why you called me. You needed a voice of reason. Now, stop drinking that stupid beer and go to Jodi’s place. Now. Before she’s so pissed she can’t see straight.”

  Tuck lifted his face and held his friend’s gaze for a long time. Finally, he spoke again. “I love her so much.”

  “Well, go tell her that. Not me.” Nick shooed him with a hand.

  Tuck smiled and jumped to his feet. He paused just long enough to say, “Thank you.” And then he rushed from McP’s.

  Chapter 27

  Jodi released the tap and jerked her hand back when beer ran over her fingers. That was the third time in an hour she’d been so distracted that she hadn’t stopped pouring a beer before it overflowed. She wiped the sides of the glass and turned to set it on the bar.

  As she grabbed a hand towel, her dad leaned toward her ear and whispered. “Look who just walked in.”

  Jodi jerked her gaze up and saw Tuck making his way through the light Monday night crowd toward her. It was only about six, so most people hadn’t made it out yet.

  She couldn’t move a muscle as he approached. His body made her breath hitch like it always did, but his face was drawn up in an unusual expression she couldn’t read. It made her very nervous. If he came here to tell her he changed his mind and didn’t think things would work out between them, she might curl into a ball behind the bar, to hell with who saw her.

  Her dad lifted the end of the bar and nudged her forward. “Take him upstairs, hon.”

  Jodi fin
ally moved to duck under her dad’s arm. She wasn’t sure what to do when Tuck reached her. She stared at him, words stuck in her throat, emotions all over the place, her hands fisting and unfisting at her sides.

  Tuck hesitated a moment, searching her face. Finally, he tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear, smoothed his palm over her cheek in a way she’d longed for him to do for so many nights, and then pulled her into his arms.

  He held her so tight, she couldn’t breathe. His face was buried in her hair. He rocked her back and forth gently for a long time, and then he whispered. “I’m so sorry. I’m such an idiot.”

  She had no idea what he was talking about, but he was here. He was late, but he was here.

  “Can we go upstairs?” he asked in a low voice.

  “Yes. Of course.” She released him and turned around to lead him up to her apartment.

  He let his hands slide down her arms but he kept one of her hands in his as he followed her, never letting go.

  When they got to the apartment, he shut the door behind him and hauled her closer again, his hand on her head, pressing her against his chest. It seemed like his world had ended and he needed comforting.

  She was confused, but she didn’t say a word. It felt so good to be in his arms that she didn’t want to break the spell.

  “I’m in love with you,” he told the top of her head, shocking her. She’d expected them to exchange those words fairly quickly, but after today, she wasn’t sure she’d ever see him again, so hearing him say that almost right off the bat confused her even more.

  She tipped her head back to meet his gaze. “I’m in love with you too, Tuck. Are you okay?”

  He shook his head. “Not even close.” He finally released her enough for her to breathe normally, but he rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “My mom died.”

  She gasped, her eyes going wide. “Oh, God. I’m so sorry. When?”

  “Last night. While I was on the set.”

  She swallowed. That long ago? Why didn’t he call?

  He groaned and tipped his head back to stare at the ceiling. “Nick was right.”

  “Nick? Who’s Nick? I heard the host of Cold Feet mention him last night on the show. The security guy. Did you know him outside of the show?”

  Tuck dropped his face again. “Yes. He’s one of my good friends. SEAL. I had a beer with him about an hour ago. He’s the reason I was on the show. He was in love with the assistant producer, so he asked me if I wanted to jump in as the groom.”

  Jodi forced a slight smile. “Did you kill him this afternoon?”

  Tuck smiled. “No. Considered it a few times.”

  “What was he right about?” she urged.

  “I told him I didn’t want my relationship with you to start out on a sad note. That I wanted to get past this stage before I called you. He said you would have dumped me before I finished explaining myself.”

  Jodi frowned. “He was right. Why would you want to keep something like this from me?”

  Tuck drew in a long breath. “Like I said, I’m an idiot. I spent all night dealing with my mom and the coroner and then getting almost no sleep before meeting with the funeral home. I’ve never been so tired. I guess I’m not making good decisions. I’ve cried more in the last few days than I have in my entire life. I’m not usually so emotional. It’s not the me I wanted you to meet right off the bat. I didn’t want you to think I was weak or something.”

  Jodi bit into her lower lip to keep from crying herself. “Oh, Tuck. Jesus. I’m not that shallow.”

  “I know you’re not. I was just scared.”

  “I love you. I want to be with you through anything life throws at you. I want to hold your hand and kiss away your pain and listen to you as you work through the sorrow.”

  “You’re amazing.” He brushed another lock of hair from her face and then surprised her when he reached up and tugged the clip from her hair, letting the curls fall down her back and over her shoulders. “I’ve wanted to do that for a month.”

  She swallowed, lifted up on her tiptoes, cupped his face, and brought her lips to his. She kissed him with every ounce of emotion she felt, tipping her head to one side and opening her mouth when he grabbed her with both hands at her waist and tugged her closer. His tongue slid along the seam of her lips, demanding she let him in.

  She didn’t hesitate. She let him take over as he smoothed his hands up her back, buried them in her hair, and deepened the kiss until she was moaning into his mouth.

  When he finally released her, so they could take a breath, she smiled, her face an inch from his. “I’ve wanted to do that for a month.”

  He chuckled. “It was not disappointing.”

  “No, it was not.” She held him close. “Do it again.”

  He moaned into her mouth as he resumed kissing her.

  God, yes. This was perfection. It felt so right to be in his arms.

  They kissed like that for so long she lost track of time. She didn’t care. She could kiss him all night. Eventually, he drew back again. His lips were swollen and wet. They were both breathing heavily. “Thank you for not kicking me out.”

  “You’re welcome. Don’t be so boneheaded next time. This is a relationship. Granted, it officially started for real about ten minutes ago, but we both know it was already a definable relationship a month ago. I already know you. I know you’re an amazing man who can handle a great deal of pressure and come out stronger. Let me be here for you as you put your mom to rest. Don’t shut me out.”

  “Okay.” He smiled at her. “Thank you.”

  She ran her hands up and down his back, loving the feel of him finally in her arms. Finally hers. “Is it true? Is the marriage invalid?”

  His smile widened. “Yep. Totally invalid. I don’t have to do a thing.”

  “That really makes me happy. I was dancing all around this living room when I heard the news. Dad thought I was going to go through the floor.”

  “I’m so glad. Wish I could have seen that.”

  “He kept me sane for the last twenty-some-odd hours.” She sobered. He needed to know she was worried. “Kept telling me to give you some time and space while I paced the room glancing at my phone every five seconds.”

  Tuck fisted his hands in her hair. “I’m so sorry I put you through that. I had every intention of coming straight here last night when I left the studio. I was so excited I couldn’t stop shaking as I got into my car. I couldn’t decide if I should just show up and whisk you away or if I should text you first. When I checked my phone, my heart sank. It was filled with messages from the nursing home. I went straight there. I honestly didn’t have a moment to breathe until I dropped into bed in my hotel room early this morning to toss and turn. I made poor choices. I’ll blame it on exhaustion.”

  She smiled at him, hoping he could see her heart. “You’re forgiven. So… you have a hotel room?” Her smile grew, and her cheeks flushed.

  “I do. You want to see it?”

  “I do.”

  Chapter 28

  Tuck followed Jodi into her bedroom for the first time. It was small, but it was filled with a lifetime of Jodi. He wandered around looking at all her pictures and memorabilia, learning things about her he didn’t know while she packed a bag. He picked up a trophy. “You were a swimmer.”

  “Yep. In high school. I was district champion in breaststroke my senior year.”

  He leaned closer to examine pictures she had all over a bulletin board. Photos from years of events ranging from her prom to her sporting events to her college graduation. Her dad was in many of them. Her mom was most of the ones that happened before she died. “You were close to your mom,” he noted, his throat clogging with emotion.

  “Yeah.” She wrapped her arms around him from behind. “I still miss her every day. It never goes away. But it gets easier over time. I feel her with me sometimes, like she’s watching me.”

  Tuck trembled as he clasped her hands against his chest. “Is she here now?”


  “I like to think so.”

  “I’m going to make her so proud,” Tuck whispered, hoping his own mom was watching too as he made Jodi the happiest woman alive. He would give it everything he had. He made a silent promise to both their mothers that he would cherish her always, in case they were listening to his thoughts.

  Jodi finally released him. “Ready.”

  He turned around and took her bag from her hand. “You pack light.”

  She shrugged. “Don’t figure I need more than a toothbrush. I’m hoping this sleepover is the naked kind.”

  He sobered. Was it wrong to want Jodi so badly it hurt so soon after his mom died?

  She stepped closer and leaned into him. “Don’t panic. No pressure. We have our whole lives. I just want to be with you. If it feels too soon, let me hold you all night anyway. Okay?”

  He nodded. She was so perfect.

  He started to breathe more freely for the first time in months as he followed her from the room. A chill raced down his spine and he spun back around as if he might find someone behind him. No one was there, of course, but a sense of peace filled him, making him smile. He felt lighter.

  Maybe Jodi was right. Maybe his mom was here with him. If so, she definitely approved and she wouldn’t want him to waste another moment not claiming the woman he loved in every way. He had already grieved his mother’s loss for months. Her death last night wasn’t truly shocking. He was relieved in a sense. She was no longer suffering. She was whole somewhere. At peace. Smiling down at him and nudging him to be happy.

  Jodi spoke to her father for a minute when they reached the main floor. He frowned a second and then smiled at her and nodded.

  Tuck felt awkward. After all Jodi was his only child, and she was obviously leaving with a man she intended to have sex with. Tuck could only hope he approved.

  Bill came out from behind the bar and set a hand on Tuck’s shoulder. “So sorry to hear about your mom.”

  Tuck nodded. “Thank you.”