by DK Andrews
Dr. Kismen says.
“Nothing, nothing. Just a bad memory, like I said” I try to change the subject. “I still have $60 dollars left; thank you again for being so generous.”
“No problem,” she says, smiling, “And please don’t hesitate to let me know if you need more.”
I give her an appreciative look. She waves while I walk to toward Dolores, the short-haired receptionist. She has finally warmed up to me.
“How are you, dear?” Dolores asks while I walk past.
“Good. Um…”
I’m tempted to ask her about Nicole to see if she knows anything about her. Of course, I shouldn’t, I don’t want anyone to suspect anything. Besides, I have no clue if tomorrow’s plan to meet at Fantasy World will work.
“Can I help you with something?”
“No,” I say.“I’d better go. I hope you are well, Dolores.” I smile and run toward the elevator.
I catch the bus to get to Christina’s as fast as possible. Per usual, there is an amazing hot dinner on the dining table.
“How’s the job hunt?” Christina asks as I stuff my face with food.
“Good, I had an interview today.” I feel terrible lying to Christina, but I certainly can’t tell her the truth.
“That’s wonderful! Where?”
I say the first thing that comes into my head. “Ground Control—the coffee shop.”
Why did I have to give details? Now I will have to remember all my lies.
“That’s wonderful!” With a wink, she says, “I can’t wait for you to start making me coffee!”
I pretend to laugh. I need to change the subject as soon as possible. For the next hour, all we do is talk about Bennett and Micah, their school activities, their homework. I ask Christina if Micah can spend the evening with her and Bennett again tomorrow, and she agrees.
We head to the kitchen to do the dishes, our usual nightly ritual, and I feel the need to apologize.
“Christina, I’m sorry to keep asking you to look after Micah. It’s just a tough time for me right now. I promise after I start that job and get my schedule figured out, I will be able to pick Micah up from school on time.” Even in my apology I can’t help but lie to her.
“Don’t be silly, Alina, I don’t mind at all. Actually,” she said, drying a plate, “I was going to ask you: Matt, my husband, will be back from a business trip tomorrow, and we will be going camping over the weekend. I thought maybe you and Micah might join us?”
Camping! I’ve never been camping. Now I wish I wasn’t dying!
“That’s so wonderful of you to offer, but,” I say hesitantly, “I think I should probably stay in the city in case I do get this job. Maybe you could you take Micah with you, though?” I might be pushing it, but it would be perfect if they could take Micah for the weekend, then he wouldn’t have to be at home with Gloria.
“Absolutely! We can definitely take him. It will be nice for Bennett to have a friend join us. We’ll probably be going camping the weekend after as well—have to take advantage of these warm days, you know?”
“I’m sure Micah will be thrilled to go camping. Thank you.” I smile.
“Wonderful. And after you figure everything out with your work schedule, we can all go together.”
I would love to go camping and enjoy nature. If only I could. I keep questioning my decision: Were all my problems fixable? Did I rush too soon into giving up my life? I look down at the bracelet. Too late to do anything about it now, my fate is sealed.
After another long walk home with Micah, the aroma of alcohol and tobacco greets us at the door on our arrival at the house.
Lying next to Micah in bed that night, I think a lot about Nicole. Was the whole thing just an illusion? Is Mentior playing some sort of game with us? Will our escapes from our memories effect the outcome for the Receivers? I keep tossing and turning. My anxiety is hurting my brain and turns my stomach. I need to relax; Micah needs to get some sleep. Will I be able to escape again tomorrow to meet Nicole at Fantasy World? I admit I enjoyed spending time with her. Having someone for the first time open up to me really made me feel special. She trusted me with her feelings. I want to see her again; I pray that tomorrow I will.
SOPHIE
“Ready?” Dr. Kismen asks, holding the helmet in her hands.
My heart is pounding. My palms are sweaty. I didn’t realize how tense I was until I opened up my fists. Will our plan work?
“Is everything OK?” she asks.
“Yes. Why?”
“You seem tense today.”
“I’m not,” I say, fidgeting.“I’m fine.”
“Almost there, Alina. Just a few more weeks to go.”
She approaches the bed I’m lying on and places the helmet on my head. This is it. God please let me see Nicole again.
In a flash, my eyes are open, I feel the cold floor below me, I see the ceiling covered with brown stains overhead. Probably a week has passed since the rape. I can hear the TV blaring in the living room.
I get up off the floor and walk towards the door; I need get to Fantasy World as soon as possible. Nicole might already be there.
I leave the house, ignoring Gloria’s presence, and hop on the bus. It’s nice to be invisible to people. I can do whatever I want—I could scream and yell, but no one would hear or judge me.
The bus drives across the bridge that connects the city to the north side. I love this bridge. It’s poetic, stunning and tragic at the same time. I wonder how many people have attempted suicide here. I’ve read the story of Ken Baldwin, a suicide survivor who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. I still clearly remember his words: “Everything in my life that I'd thought was unfixable was totally fixable—except for having just jumped.”
I see the Ferris wheel and the big green “Fantasy World” sign. A young boy, part of a family of three, pushes the button requesting a stop and I follow the family off the bus.
Standing in front of the gate, I look around for Nicole, but I can’t see her. I’m afraid that we might not run in into each other after all.
“Alina!”
I hear Nicole’s voice in the distance.
She’s here! It worked! She runs up to me and gives me a hug and then squeezes my hand in excitement.
“It worked!” we both smile.
“I’m so happy we get to spend a whole day together,” Nicole says as we enter the park.
“Me too,” I reply. “It’s nice to talk to someone who understands.”
Inside Fantasy World, everything looks fun and everyone’s having a great time—rides galore and smiling kids and parents.
I wonder if it’s hard for Nicole to be here with so many children Erica’s age running around.
“It’s not,” Nicole says.
I raise the brow and glance at her. “I’m sorry?”
“It’s not hard for me to be here if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“How on earth did you know I was thinking that?” My voice is high-pitched and almost trembling.
“I don’t know,” she responds indifferently. “Intuition, I guess. Come on, let’s go get on the roller coaster!”
She grabs my hand and pulls me after her.
Hesitant at first, eventually I give in, and together we run to the coaster. Around the corner, I see it: a red train with open cars. We grab the last two seats at the back.
“Here we go!”Nicole shouts. “This is just the small one, but it’s still fun!”
As the roller coaster starts moving, I close my eyes—I’m too scared to open them. But why? There’s nothing to be afraid of. I open them again as the car lurches upward. As we reach the peak, the noise stops and then I feel a rumbling as gravity finally rips the coaster down. The wind slaps my face as if my head was leaning out of the window of a speeding car.
The ear-piercing screams of the thrill seekers in front of us only boost my adrenaline, and my body shakes from the ride’s many twists, turns, and loops. The excitement consumes me
.
We get spit out into a straight way, and the car slows to a stop. I feel as if my body is still in motion, the thrill built-up inside me. Nicole is screaming loud, her facial expression is like a crazy scientist who just made a discovery he’d longed for his entire life.
Seeing Nicole like this makes me happy. The ride has stopped, but I keep laughing as Nicole’s facial expression lingers in my mind.
“Shall we?” Nicole asks, un-strapping herself from her seat.
“Shall we what?”
“Hit our next adventure!”
She chuckles.
“Can’t wait,” I say.
We walk towards the Ferris wheel, which has as its backdrop the glorious harbor.
“We’ll be able to see the whole city from up there,” Nicole says.
We hop into a cabin next to a young mother and her two daughters. I hold my breath as we float up and up to the top of the wheel, 40 meters above the ground, enjoying knockout views of the bridge and the city skyline. Our cabin even stops right at the top for a few minutes.
“Wow, look at the city! At the water! It looks amazing!” I say, clapping my hands.
From the top, I can see all the beauty and charm that this incredible city has to offer: tall skyscrapers, the incredible bridge, a spectacular theater in the shape of white sail rising over the botanical garden. I was blind before, but now I see the beauty of this place.
“Fascinating,” Nicole says in wonder, her eyes reflecting the light.
I look at Nicole, and then over to the young mother, and then her two daughters. The girl with hazel eyes seems to stare at me. Is she really looking at me? Can she see me?
As soon as I think that, she waves at me. I freeze.
Leaning over to Nicole, I