by DK Andrews
made it across to the other side of the bridge, and Fantasy World is about ten minutes away.
I know we’ve probably missed Nicole and Sophie, but I’m not too upset about it. I’m glad to have spent my time with Gabriel.
“You know,” he says. “You are the first person to challenge me.”
“I am?”
“Yeah, my old friends and girlfriends would just agree with everything I said; they would follow me like a flock of sheep. Hell, sometimes even my teachers would agree with me. I think maybe they were just tired of me.”
“I can see that,” I say with a grin.
“Ha! You’re cute.”Gabriel smiles and puts an arm around my shoulders.
Why do I always feel this electric wave when he’s close to me?
It feels like the electricity has been turned up, but I hide my face from him; he lets go, probably assuming that I’m feeling uncomfortable.
The session is nearly over, I can feel it. I admit I’m actually starting to enjoy the preparation process. It’s a shame we didn’t get to see Nicole and Sophie, but, at the same time, I’ve learned so much today, and I can’t believe I almost kissed him.
Gabriel touches my forearm and looks at me. “What were you thinking?”
“It’s weird, but I was thinking about you,” I say.
“But I’m right here,” Gabriel chuckles.
“I know, that’s why I said it was weird.”
“What exactly you were thinking?”
“That I almost kissed you.”
“Not completely true, I almost kissed you,” Gabriel laughs.
I close my eyes for a moment. We have to agree on a place for tomorrow.“Gabriel, the session is almost over—can we meet by the theater again tomorrow?”
“Sure!” he says, elated.“Sounds great!”
“I really hope we get to see Nicole and Sophie tomorrow,” I say.
“Not me,” Gabriel says, grinning widely.
“What?”
“Sorry, I just meant…” he covers his mouth with his hands and tries to come up with the right words.“What I wanted to say was that they are great people, but, well, I really enjoy spending time with you one-on-one.”
I roll my eyes.
“What?” he says. “You don’t believe me?”
“I do believe you, don’t worry. Anyway, the session is almost over. I will see you tomorrow by the theatre, OK?”
“Hey, how do you always know when the session is ending?” he asks me.
“Intuition.” And as soon as I reply, I see darkness in front of my eyes.
It is October 2, and I’m halfway through the preparation process. Two more weeks and I will disappear from this planet.
EMBRACE
Being alone at Christina’s house feels strange. I’m so used having her, Bennett, and Micah around. Now I feel lonely. I hope they’re having a good time camping—I can picture Micah giggling himself silly, Christina cooking up something delicious, and Bennett being quiet and observant, fishing by the lake. Funny how things change: I’d always thought I would be happy on my own, but now there is a void in my heart without my new-found family and friends.
What is waiting for me on the other side of the Conversion? I hope whoever gets my life will know what to do with it, and he or she will do it right. But what about me? If my soul or my life energy gets attached to a new body, what happens to my old self? Do I just become a lifeless body? Or does my spirit rise to heaven? Wait—selling a life would be considered as suicide, and therefore the gates to heaven will be closed to me. My spirit would go straight to hell. I sigh and try to repress these thoughts somewhere deep in my brain, somewhere they can’t be retrieved. I prep some clothes for tomorrow’s session, spread out on the bed, turn on my side, and close my eyes, trying not think about anything. As soon as I close my eyes, however, I see Gabriel. I see his face, I hear his voice—for a moment he feels so real that I open my eyes and reach out to touch him. All I see is darkness, and only dim moonlight peeks in through the heavy curtain.
With effort, I close my eyes and hope to fall asleep. The last few days have been so confusing for me; sometimes I can’t distinguish between being in a Mentior session and actual reality. I’m starting to suspect that Gabriel, Sophie, and Nicole don’t exist. My unconscious has surely just created them to ease my pain and help me to enjoy my final days.
While turning onto my back, I ask myself how deep I’ve fallen. I know I saw Nicole in reality— at the bus stop, she was there. I saw her as surely as I know I will die. But how can I confirm it? She says she is staying at Ultima; maybe I can ask Nicole for her last name and the internet will provide me with some information. I would at least be able to confirm if she’s real or not. What about Gabriel? Do I want to know if he exists in the real world?
I sit up in bed and cross my legs. I tilt my head down to calm myself.
What about Christina? They will be back soon from the camping trip. Should I tell her about my LifeTrans contract? What about Micah?
Once again, my restlessness envelopes me. I’m nauseous and dizzy. I have to wait to have a clearer picture of what to do. Nothing can be done right now. I fall back on the fluffy pillow, massage my temples, and close my eyes.
The next day, I head to Ultima, and the first person I see is Dr. Kismen. She smiles at me and glances down at my jeans. “What? No dress today?”
“Not today,” I say matter-of-factly. I follow her into the elevator; she swipes her card and pushes the button for the 10th floor. I wish she would just disappear so I could take her cards and snoop around on all the floors to see if I could find Nicole.
“Is anything bothering you?” she asks while holding the elevator for me to exit.
“Yes,” I say, unable to stop myself.
“What is it?”
“I’m wondering how I did on my physiological testing.”
“Really well, actually,” Dr. Kismen says. “But I wonder why you’re asking.”
“So, I’ve got no illnesses or anything like that?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.
“Nothing at all.”
“So—I’m healthy?”
“Absolutely,” she says.“Strong as a bull.”
All right, so my mind and brain work fine, meaning Nicole is real. I saw her at the bus stop outside Ultima. If Nicole is real, then Gabriel and Sophie are real too. But how can I trust the test results when they don’t take into account my anxiety and depression?
Thoughts of Gabriel suddenly bring a smile to my face.
“Alina?” Dr. Kismen’s voice sneaks in into my ears.
“Yes, yes,” I say.
“I said we should get started.”
“Right, of course. Sorry about that.” I get myself comfortable on the bed.
“You’ve been daydreaming quite a lot in the past week,” Dr. Kismen says.
“Have I?”
“Yes. Also, you seem happier.” She glances at me out of the corner of her eye and picks up the helmet. Happier? Word “happy” used to be so foreign to me, but now I come across it more and more often.
“Are you?” she asks as she places it on my head. As the visor comes down and hides my eyes, I respond.
“No.”
Today, the sky is gray and low as if pinned down by the clouds. It seems that it hangs just above the roofs of houses and could crumble down at any moment. The sunlight is having difficulties shining through.
I guess it was a good idea to wear jeans and long sleeve shirt today—my intuition never does me wrong. I need to breathe in deeper, I’m really afraid that I might have a heart attack, my knees are weak. Damn you, Gabriel! What do you do to me?!
The steps around the theater seem to be less crowded today—it doesn’t look as congested. I don’t see Nicole or Sophie; they’re probably lost somewhere in the city. I do, however, spot Gabriel, standing in front of the theater’s billboard. It’s my turn to spook him now. I creep up behind him and jump onto his back.
Gabriel turns and smile
s.
“Did I scare you?” I ask.
“Why would you want to scare me?” Gabriel says with a laugh.
“I just thought it would be funny, I guess.” I realize how silly I probably sound. I feel Gabriel reaching out to take my hand, and without thinking, I pull my hand back.
“I should probably give up already, huh?” Gabriel asks, looking at me.
“Give up?”
“Yeah, give up on trying to hold your hand.” He sighs heavily.
“What were you looking at?” I change the subject and fix my eyes on the billboard in front of me.
Gabriel rolls his eyes.
“Will you just hold my hand, Alina? There’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t bite.” Gabriel extends his hand to me and waits.
I bite my lip and slip my hand into his. “Fine. But only for today,” I clarify.
“All right,” he agrees, unable to hide his smile.
“So,” I say, pointing at a sign outside the theater, “what’s this about?”
“It’s for an orchestral concert. I think we should come back here in a few hours and catch the performance. You’ll enjoy it, I’m sure.” He gently squeezes my hand, and a shiver sweeps through my body.
“What, like piano music?” I ask. I’ve never actually heard classical music before.
Gabriel bursts our laughing. “Wow! We are definitely coming back here! You need to be introduced to Vivaldi, Beethoven, and Mozart!”
“Oh,” I say, looking away and trying to remember where I know those names from, “I’ve heard of them.”
“I have no doubt you will love them.” Gabriel puts his arm around my waist. My body gets jumpy and uncomfortable, but I tell myself to relax and accept these new experiences. Gabriel looks pleased with himself that I have finally given