Second Thoughts

by Terry O'Reilly

  “Congratulations! You’ve just been selected to spend a luxury weekend for two in Las Vegas—”

  Nick sighed in frustration. “Thanks, but I’ve already made plans for the weekend,” he said to the telemarketer, slamming the phone down.

  He took a deep breath and started pacing the floor again.

  * * * Carter looked over at the desk in the hotel room. Denny’s phone was ringing. Denny had just gotten into the shower. They had arrived five minutes earlier from the airport. Carter checked the caller ID. It was Jesse. He let it go to voicemail.

  “Carter, what’re ya doin’?” Denny called over the shower’s hum. “I need that sexy body of yours in here with me.” “Be there in a sec,” Carter responded.

  Don’t want a call from the little woman to mess up our

  weekend. These football tickets were fuckin’ damn hard to come by with Michigan doing so well. Being the shrewd man he was, Carter had previously observed Denny’s PIN when logging in to his voicemail. He dialed it as soon as the phone registered a message.

  “Hi, hon. This is Jesse. Just needed to check on your plans for the weekend because if you’re not going to be home, I’d like to do something with Nick. Let me know as soon as you can. Love you…”

  Carter smiled and pressed the delete message key. He then texted a message to Jesse.

  Hi…can’t call now…on a flight. Will be laying over in… Carter thought for a minute. Where had Nick told Jesse he was? Atlanta. Won’t b home till next week. Have a good time with Nick. Love u2

  Carter went to sent messages and cleared the phone’s memory. He then undressed and, with a slowly rising phallus, walked toward Denny in the shower.

  * * * Jesse heard the ding indicating an incoming text. He frowned while reading it. He’s doing a lot of flying around for sure.

  His next thought was more pleasant. He took a deep breath and dialed Nick’s number. It rang three times. Jesse heard the phone being picked up. There was no response.

  “Nick? Are you there?”

  “Jesse?”

  “Yeah, were you expecting someone else?”

  Nick laughed. “No, but if you can go, we have two choices: Ann Arbor or Las Vegas.”

  “What?”

  Nick laughed again. “Never mind. Can you go?”

  Did Jesse hear excited anticipation in the man’s voice, or was it his imagination?

  “I guess I’m free. I didn’t actually talk to Denny, but he just texted me and said he was going to be gone until next week. So, what’s the plan?”

  Jesse heard what he thought was a shuddering breath from the other end of the line.

  “Well, I thought we’d leave Friday. We can leave early if you’re free. We have one of those weird half days off. They call them breather days. Well, anyway, Ken offered their house, so we’ll save on a place to stay. That means we can take Clyde and Shelby. How does that sound?”

  “Sounds great,” Jesse responded, his excitement growing at the prospect of a weekend away with Nick. “Hey, I could meet you at school. It’s closer to the interstate, then we’d have more time—”

  Jesse bit his lip. Had he seemed too eager?

  Nick didn’t seem to react negatively to that. They went on to discuss particulars of how the pick up would work, what to bring and other logistical matters. When Jesse hung up, he was feeling almost giddy.

  “Serves you right, Christopoulos,” he said to the picture on the end table. “I deserve a fun weekend with being left on my own so much lately. A few days away with a friend is what I need.”

  * * * Nick hung up, punched the air with his fist and shouted, “Yes!” Clyde galumphed around his legs, barking.

  “You shoulda heard him, Clyde, old man,” Nick said to the

  dog. “He sounded excited and happy to be going with us. He even offered to pick me up at school so we’d have more time to be together. Well, he didn’t actually say that…but that’s what he meant,” Nick tried to convince himself.

  Nick didn’t want to read more into this than necessary, but he couldn’t deny Jesse’s response was more than he could’ve hoped for. He felt a warm glow as he got ready for bed. As he lay on his back later, he had to fight the temptation not to give in to fantasies of those two nights with Jesse in Ann Arbor.

  “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Mr. Warden,” he admonished. He turned his attention instead to Jay Leno’s monologue on the bedroom TV, although he hardly heard a word.

  * * * Denny turned to Carter as he entered the shower. The older man took Denny in his arms and kissed him. Their tongues danced, each fighting for the lead. The warm water cascaded over their bodies. Both men were completely erect, swollen members grinding against muscular abdomens.

  Denny broke the kiss. “Was that my phone?”

  “No, mine,” Carter said, pressing their lips together once more. After a prolonged kiss, Denny said, “It didn’t sound like your

  ring.” Carter reached down and began to massage Denny’s ass cheeks, pressing a finger against the tight pucker, kissing and grinding against him with increased urgency. Denny no longer cared whose phone it had been, or who had called. He turned and leaned against the wall, welcoming Carter inside him.

  CHAPTER 11

  Fall in Ann Arbor. Nick had almost forgotten how much he loved it. Now he was here, the memories of those years at the U came back to him. But tonight it was even sweeter. Tonight he was here with Jesse.

  The two men walked along the quiet residential street. The air was crisp and cool. The stars twinkled in the clear October sky. The dry leaves crunched under their feet as they walked. Clyde and Shelby shuffled and snuffled through them as the two canines scooted back and forth across the sidewalk, taking in all the excitement of the smells in this new environment.

  Nick was tempted to take Jesse’s hand. It all seemed so natural to be here with him, so perfect. He almost could forget there was a guy named Denny to contend with somewhere out there, but in the end, he didn’t. He contented himself to walk by the side of the man he hoped to claim for his own at some point.

  The ride down that afternoon had been a good one. It seemed to Nick the farther away from the city they got, the more relaxed and happy Jesse had become. The dogs had snoozed on the back seat as the hustle of the traffic in the city turned into the peace of the rolling rural countryside. Jesse commented on the colorful display of fall foliage, clarity of the sky and clean air away from the city. It was as if he was shedding some sort of cocoon he had been wrapped in and was free to be himself. He’d noted Jesse had sat slightly sideways in his seat so he could face him more easily. This had pleased Nick.

  Arriving in Ann Arbor, Nick had driven by the stadium so Jesse could see the gathering of the RVs and beginnings of the tailgate city on the lawns of the high school, kitty corner from the Big House, as U of M stadium was called. They then drove to Ken’s home located a few blocks from the football field, found the key where Ken had hidden it and got settled in.

  As they walked the dogs in the cool of the evening, the sound of the marching band floated to them on the breeze.

  “Is that the band?” Jesse asked.

  “Yeah, they have a final practice for halftime the night before the game. Their practice field is just a couple blocks over. Wanna go watch?”

  “Sure…always thought the band was the best part of a football game anyway.”

  “Yeah, other than the tight pants the players wear.”

  They both laughed.

  Dogs by their sides, they walked the few blocks to the asphalt slab laid out with yard stripes that served as the substitute for the real thing as the band worked on its routines. Nick explained the Friday night practice had become a tradition. He was right, as by the time they arrived, there were about a hundred people gathered around the field enjoying the final run-through of the next day’s performance.

  As Nick stood beside Jesse listening to the music and watching him as he kept time by nodding his head, he was filled with a sense o
f contentment. This had definitely been a good idea. Definitely.

  At the end of the concert, which finished with a rousing chorus of “Hail to the Victors,” the U of M fight song, Nick led the quartet home by a route that took them to a local dairy bar. Just as Nick remembered, it was crowded with patrons on this warm early October Friday, hungry for the fabled homemade ice cream. While Jesse sat outside on a bench and minded the dogs, Nick went inside and procured two double dip waffle cones of Moose Tracks and an extra empty cone to treat Shelby and Clyde.

  “Holy sh—” Jesse stopped himself as he looked around at the kids that stood in the area. “Holy cow, that’s about a pint of ice cream in each cone!”

  Nick laughed. “I told you they were generous portions.”

  “Generous…gargantuan is more the word I’d use.”

  “I’m sure Clyde and Shelby will be happy to finish up what you can’t,” said Nick, still chuckling.

  Jesse made a fake scowl. “Gimme that thing,” he growled. “I’ll force myself. Just have to run a couple of extra miles in the morning.” He took the confection and dove into it.

  When he came up for a breath, Nick laughed.

  “What?” Jesse asked.

  Nick pointed to his nose. Jesse looked cross-eyed as if trying to see what Nick was pointing too.

  Nick laughed again. “Ice cream,” he said.

  Jesse tried to lick it off with the tip of his tongue.

  Still chuckling, Nick reached out with a napkin. “Here, let me.”

  He wiped the end of Jesse’s nose. Their eyes met. A strange expression came over Jesse’s face.

  Nick inwardly grimaced. Had he been too familiar, crossed some invisible line?

  Jesse’s face softened, the strange look replaced with a smile. “Thanks, maybe I’ll get to do the same for you one day.”

  Nick relaxed. His apprehension was supplanted with a warm feeling of affection. His plan seemed to be working.

  For the next quarter-hour, the two sat side by side eating their ice cream and feeding the begging pooches bits of the extra cone. Then they walked back to Ken’s house. They passed two men holding hands coming toward them.

  Jesse looked at Nick with a raised eyebrow.

  “Ann Arbor,” Nick said smiling.

  Jesse looked back at the men and sighed. He turned to Nick. “Good to have that freedom.”

  Nick nodded.

  “Maybe someday,” Jesse said, returning his gaze to the street ahead.

  “Yeah, someday,” echoed Nick.

  * * * The next morning, the two men were pounding the pavement with an early morning jog. They took a route allowing them to run by the stadium. Jesse was impressed, again, with the size of the structure.

  “Wait until you walk inside,” Nick had said. “It always takes my breath away.”

  Even though it was early, the noon kick-off had the tailgaters, early arrivers and hawkers selling unwanted tickets already congesting the streets.

  They ran along beside the high school parking lot where the maize-and-blue flags fluttered in the light breeze. Here and there an orange-and-blue Illinois flag could be seen. Games of beanbag toss and Jarts were being played. Jesse heard music coming from several boom boxes. Delicious odors from the fired up grills reached his nostrils. There were tents where U of M apparel could be purchased. While never a big football fan, he felt the excitement. A thrill shot through his body as he jogged along.

  The sensation he had that morning was very akin to the thrill he had felt the previous night when Nick had emerged from the bathroom, drying his hair and wearing only a towel wrapped low around his hips. Nick’s head was bowed as he walked down the hall toward him. Jesse had taken the opportunity to look at him. He remembered the day after they met and their trip to Sid’s gym. The man he had found so physically attractive then, he now found personally attractive as well. He had so many desirable traits: sincerity, humility, a gentle spirit and a sense of humor.

  If I had known Nick before I met…

  Once again, as he had so often in the time since he had met Nick Warden, Jesse had to check his thoughts of comparison between this man and his partner. He had a committed relationship with Denny, and that was that.

  However, that hadn’t stopped him from having a stab of envy when Shelby had abandoned him and jumped in bed with Clyde and Nick in the bedroom across the hall.

  “Hey, Shel wants to sleep with Clyde,” Nick had called out.

  “No problem,” Jesse had replied. Yeah, no problem at all. He sighed.

  Back at the house after their exercise, Jesse showered while Nick fixed breakfast. He stood at the mirror shaving, feeling the glow that comes following a shower after a good run. He paused and wondered if the feelings he was experiencing came not only from his workout, but from something more. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

  There was a soft knock on the door. He turned to it as it opened a crack. Nick’s smile became visible. Jesse opened the door wider. Nick’s smile deepened as his eyes swept Jesse’s towel-clad body. Jesse felt a swoop of excitement pass through him. Nick’s eyes met his.

  “Breakfast is ready,” Nick said in a soft, almost intimate voice.

  For a moment he wanted to reach out, put his hand on the back of Nick’s neck and pull him close.

  Jesse took a deep breath. “I’ll be right down.”

  Nick nodded as he turned, still smiling. Jesse watched him walk away and disappear down the stairs. He turned back to the mirror and wiped the last of the shaving cream from his face. He looked deeply at his reflection.

  “Don’t!” he told himself firmly. “You promised yourself when you committed to Denny you weren’t gonna be like other guys whose commitment lasted until the novelty wore off, or until someone better came along. So, just stop it now!”

  Punctuating the statement with a nod of his head, Jesse headed for the bedroom to get dressed for breakfast.

  As Jesse entered the kitchen, he had to step over the two dogs who sat side by side, hoping for a suspension of the house rule against feeding begging animals people food. Nick was at the stove dishing up the scrambled eggs and sausages. The toaster popped.

  “Get that, will ya?” he said to Jesse in a casual voice.

  Jesse stepped over the canines once again and took the slices of toast, placing them on a plate sitting next to the appliance. He spread them with butter and set the plate on the table next to the small bowl of strawberry jam. Nick was right behind him with two plates of steaming eggs and sausage.

  “Sit,” he commanded with a smile.

  The dogs, who had risen as the food hovered just out of reach, obeyed. Jesse obeyed as well, smiling back.

  “God, that smells great,” he said rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

  Nick sat opposite him. He raised his glass of OJ. “Go, Blue!” he said with a wink.

  Jesse raised his glass, “Go…uh…go…” He laughed. “See, I’m so unfootball I don’t even know what my school fight slogan is.” He laughed again.

  Nick laughed, too. “Go, Illini!”

  “Okay, if you say so. Go, Illini!”

  The two clinked their glasses in a toast before beginning to eat.

  “I didn’t make coffee yet. Didn’t know if you like regular or decaf,” Nick said between bites.

  “Regular,” Jesse replied, taking another drink of juice. “Guess we’ll just have to get to know one another bet—” He stopped, put his glass down and looked at Nick, who had also stopped with his fork in mid-air.

  Nick was smiling. “I’d like that,” he said simply.

  Jesse looked down, embarrassed. Why was he getting feelings akin to his first days with Denny: days when they explored their interests, likes and dislikes, explorations in which Jesse had taken so much joy? Nick was a friend, not a potential partner.

  Nick put his fork down, got up and made coffee. When he sat again, the two finished eating, talked about the game, Nick’s time at the university and other t
hings. Jesse felt a deep contentment steal over him as they drank their coffee when it was done brewing. He was totally enjoying being here with Nick. He could see Nick was enjoying it, too.

  Nick looked at the wall clock, one of those old-fashioned ones: a cat whose tail wagged like a pendulum and eyes moved back and forth.

  “Oh, we better get going,” he said, rising and starting to gather the dishes together.

  “I’ll take care of this. You go shower.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah. You were the cook; I’ll be the bottle washer.”

  “Okay,” Nick said, giving Jesse’s shoulder a soft squeeze.

  As Nick left the room, Jesse raised his hand and touched the place where Nick’s hand had been. Then he sighed and got up to begin his K.P. duty. If he were home with Denny he would have been both chief cook and bottle washer. Once again, he shook off the temptation to compare the two situations and began to wash the dishes.

  * * * Nick watched Jesse’s reaction as they emerged from one of the entry tunnels.

  “Whoa,” Jesse exclaimed.

  Nick laughed. Most people new to the Big House reacted that way, not expecting the floor of the stadium to drop away, to be so far below street level.

  “Pretty impressive, eh?”

  “I’ll say.”

  They made their way down to their seats. The teams were on the field for their pre-game warm-ups. People were filing in; there was an air of excitement. They found their seat numbers on the bench. The numbers were very close together.

  “It’ll be a pretty tight fit,” Nick said. “The stadium holds over a hundred thousand. They get that by packing us in like sardines.”

  Jesse nodded. Nick privately was pleased he would have an excuse to be pressed up close to him. He hoped the seats on either side of theirs would be filled to insure a close pack.

  For the moment, they stood and watched the teams ready themselves for the contest. After a while, they exited the field. The band was announced and the pre-game show began. Nick could see Jesse really appreciated this part of the experience. The man clapped and cheered and kept time to the music. The teams returned to the field to the cheers of the partisan crowd. The singing of the national anthem was followed by the coin toss, then the kick-off. The game was underway.