Before I do, I turn to Yoko. “We’re closing the café for today. I’m sorry you guys came in and I didn’t get a hold of you sooner.”
Yoko gives me a look of worry and Baron pops his head out of the kitchen. “Something happen?” Baron asks.
“We ran into Geoff,” I say. “And our first priority is figuring out how to break his spell on me. I’ve sent a message to everyone I can think of who might be able to help, and they’re going to meet me here this morning.”
That’s when Badrick comes down the stairs, shaking the floor as he tramples down them. Etienne’s eyes get wide as he looks up and eyes the large beast.
“I don’t know what it is,” Etienne says. For a moment, I’m confused about what he’s talking about before I realize he’s talking to the thing in his head. This is going to be hard to get used to.
Badrick steps into the café, stretches, and knocks over five bottles that’d been on the counter with his tail.
“It’s so cute!” Etienne shouts. “Shut up. It is too cute… yeah, well I’ve seen what you think is cute.”
Everyone’s staring at him like he’s crazy, even Badrick. And you know something’s crazy when even the forest spirit thinks it’s crazy.
Etienne blushes as he folds his arms in front of his chest. “I’m not crazy.”
“No one said you are,” I say as I sit down.
“We’re all just thinking it,” Havoc helpfully supplies.
That’s when the door opens and Jacob, the mage headmaster, walks in with Evan. While Evan is a druid and probably won’t be of much use with breaking the spell, he could be of some help in other areas. And who knows what random knowledge he might have come across in his lifetime.
“I already don’t like you,” Etienne says as he points at Havoc. “Even if you’re hot.”
Havoc gives him a huge smile. “Aw, thanks, but you look like a child and I’m not into children.”
Etienne’s eyes narrow. “I’m not a child. I’m a man.”
“A tiny one.”
Oh no. How did even more chaos get added to this ensemble? “Alright, children, that’s enough. Etienne, how did you get in here?” I ask, since that’s still bugging me.
“I rode my horse here.” He says it like that’s not at all interesting. Like people ride their horses everywhere nowadays.
“While that was not exactly what I was asking… you rode your horse?”
“I did.”
“Where is it?” I do like horses.
He waves his hand and light shines upon the ground as a fucking horse crawls out of it. Since my café is an “intimate” setting there’s not enough room for a forest spirit and a damn horse, and the horse knocks over three tables. It starts and looks ready to flee as it turns, knocking down three more, chairs and all. It then proceeds to dance in one spot, crushing a chair into little tiny shards.
“It’s okay, Enzo,” Etienne says, and the horse instantly calms down and licks his lips.
“Sometimes, I don’t even know why I try having nice things,” I realize as the horse swishes its tail and, seeing how its ass is now near me, the tail whaps me in the face, making it feel like my face is bleeding. “Why did you summon your horse?”
The creature is black but has the most peculiar markings. It’s like the skeletal structure of the horse has been inked into its skin, making its sleek coat show a skeletal outline. Almost like the hair is colored to show its bones. I reach out and trace a finger over the white hair on his barrel and see that it follows a rib bone exactly.
“I don’t know! You asked where he is and he’s really cute, so I thought it’d be a good ice breaker. Like, hey, guys, I might have brought Geoff back to life but look at my horse, isn’t he cool!” Etienne blurts out.
My attention is snapped away from the weird skeleton horse and locks on to Etienne. I grab him by the front of his shirt and haul him halfway across the table. “You did what?” I growl.
The horse snorts and stomps his feet as Etienne’s eyes go completely black.
“Let go, human,” Etienne says, but the voice isn’t his. It belongs to the creature that lives inside him, and I’m curious how strong this thing is.
“You have to understand why I’d be slightly concerned,” I say.
“Dammit, Dyame, stop!” Etienne says as his eyes switch back to normal. “Let me explain!”
“You brought him back to life?” I growl.
He gives me a sweet smile like “Oh, look how cute I am,” but there’s the horse, the monster inside him, the creepy eyes, and the fact that he brought fucking Geoff back to life that’s making the look not work for me. “I can see why you might be a little testy over it,” he says.“Testy?” The word is low and menacing.
Havoc leans in and presses his sword against Etienne’s neck before speaking to me. “Do you want his head chopped off now, or are you feeling a bit of torture first?”
Etienne groans. “Dyame, I can handle it. Miles, Havoc, we’re such good pals—”
“Torture sounds nice,” I decide.
That’s when there’s a knock on the door.
A man I don’t recognize looks through the glass door and sees what’s going on. His eyes get ridiculously wide. I’m not sure if it’s the horse, the forest spirit, the man being held at sword point, or maybe he’s a sane man and it’s a combination of all three. He pushes through the door that’d been unlocked for Evan and Jacob.
“Hey, hey! Hold on here!” he says as he pulls out a police badge and rushes for us.
I don’t recognize him, so I’m guessing he’s from a different district.
“Hey, love,” Etienne says. “These are my new friends: Miles, angry horned man, and floofy forest spirit. We’ve hit it off perfectly.”
“You know him?” I ask. “Where are you people coming from?”
“That’s my husband,” Etienne says as he waves at the alarmed man.
“We’re not married. That marriage wasn’t legal.”
Etienne grins. “Who needs legalities?”
“I’m Officer Leo Maloy, and I would really appreciate it if you removed the sword from Etienne’s neck,” he says.
The man is older, probably forties, with gray hair that’s almost white and dark brown eyes. He has a friendly smile that’s working overtime to get us to let the pest go and wrinkles at the creases of his eyes. And he feels strangely human, despite the low level of white magic I sense from him. The two have to be twenty-something years apart, but the look he’s giving me tells me he really cares for the strange young man.
“He brought Geoff back to life.” Me saying that should be reason enough to bring on murder.
Leo hesitates. “Etienne, remember me telling you not to tell them? Like… I know lying is bad, but that could have been one thing to keep to yourself.”
Etienne grins at him. “I forgot. They were bullying me and making me show them my private things.”
Leo’s eyes get ridiculously wide. “What?”
I glare at Etienne and question my sanity. “I asked about your horse.”
“Yes, he’s my most private possession,” he says as he reaches over and tickles the horse’s lip. The horse wiggles his lip around, clearly happier now that Leo is here to break up the mess.
“What are your names?” Leo asks.
“I’m Miles, this is Havoc. And I want you to explain what you mean when you say you brought Geoff back to life.”
Etienne clears his throat like he’s about to start a dramatic reading. “Well… so there I was in prison—”
And we’re not supposed to see him as guilty?
“When Rehna came to me and told me she’d help me out of prison if I brought some guy back to life. I was all in. I mean, I had the option of rotting in prison or helping her with something, so I did it. I didn’t know who this man was and… I’m not sure I cared. I just… it was nice having someone rely on me… to need me for something, you know? And she was a freaking district boss that everyone loved, so h
ow bad could it be? I just didn’t quite realize what she needed me for. I didn’t really know Leo at the time, and I had nothing to lose and a whole lot to gain.”
“Why were you in prison?” I ask.
Leo folds his arms over his chest. “He was caught breaking and entering. The issue is… the district we’re from is pretty far away and isn’t like this one. It’s run by a man who wants to control everything and everyone. Etienne’s powers didn’t match ‘regulation,’ so the boss’s way to control that was to lock him up. He sentenced him to life in prison because he was powerful and different. No, he shouldn’t have broken into where he did, but because of who he is, no one would hire him for work. I don’t blame him for going with Rehna. And Etienne seems to have a habit of latching on to the wrong people.”
“That’s because the right people never want me.”
Leo reaches out to him. “I want you.”
The smile on Etienne’s face is so genuine that it reminds me of when I was a child being passed from person to person until Geoff found me. I know the feeling of wanting someone to care and a place to belong. While Geoff failed at that, Havoc thankfully became that for me.
“How do we know this isn’t a setup? How do we trust either of you?” Havoc asks.
Etienne shrugs. “I don’t know. How do you trust that cat that looks like it wants to eat all of us?”
Menace hisses at him before sliding himself between my ankles and looking up at me. I don’t realize this means “Pick me up or I’ll murder your flesh” until he starts scaling his way up my body.
“Motherfucker,” I cry as I grab him.
He’s purring as he slips out of my hands and onto my shoulder. I really don’t like him this close to my eyes. Yet, I have somehow become “tolerable” or a slave to him. Who knows?
“Okay, for the moment, let’s forget that this is all your fault,” Havoc tells Etienne. “Are you a mage?”
“No. I… don’t know what I am. I wasn’t old enough to have learned much magic, even though I feel like I was born with magic. This… group of people used me in a ritual when I was a child. They wanted to bring back some fallen god of luck or some bullshit. Like I said, I was a kid, it was hard to get the details. They tied me down, slit my throat and left me to die. The circle I was on was made of clay or something with little ravines for the blood to flow and fill it. And as I slowly bled to death, they chanted and offered my body to whatever the fuck they were trying to call forth. That’s when I opened my eyes at the River of Death. It’s a river where children go when they die early. Most of the time they wait there for their parents to lead them over, but there were no children there when I arrived; they’d all been scared off by a monster.
“That monster stepped from the river and walked straight over to me, smelling the spell they’d placed upon my body. And that’s when he attacked me but when my magic hit his body, he was left to die. There we lay, two dying fools driven together by children-killing psychopaths. While he had no body, I did have one, but a dying one. So that’s when he offered me a chance to live again—I just had to open my magic to him. That’s how Dyame came to live inside my body and I woke with a strange ability to deal with death. I can walk people to that river or I can walk them away. I don’t know what I am or everything I can do. I just know that there’s a monster inside me and he’s real fucking weird. I mean, it sounds kind of cool, right? Well, imagine a perverted death monster inside your head constantly talking and you get Dyame. You should hear him when Leo and I have sex! Boy! He’s not too into that, but he’s got a front row seat. I make sure to give him a real good ball view every now and then. You know, just get right in there—”
Leo sets a hand on Etienne’s shoulder and squeezes. “That’s way more than they needed to know.”
“Oh. Whoops.”
“That’s interesting.”
“The balls?” Etienne asks, like he’s excited.
I shake my head. “No. The rest. And you don’t know what he is?”
Etienne shrugs. “Weird. That’s the only thing I know.”
“So he gave you his abilities?”
“Some, but I don’t think he’s as strong outside his body, or maybe outside of purgatory he’s not as strong. But we’d like to help you… you know, to kind of make up for the tiny blunder we made.”
“Blunder… uh huh…” I’m still trying to comprehend how you accidentally bring an infamous dark mage back from the dead. How does that work?
Jacob grabs a chair and pulls it up to the ever-growing table. “I don’t even know where to start. So we are now more than confident that Geoff has returned. But what was this about him having a spell on you?”
“Is that what that was?” Etienne asks. “I didn’t know if you were just flopping around like a fish or having a seizure.”
“When I was a child, he put a spell on me to control me and my magic,” I explain as I stand up and pull my shirt off before dropping the illusion on myself so they can see the lines that run down my body. “When Geoff uses the spell, it feels like someone is slicing open my skin where those lines are, and I’m unable to do anything with my magic.”
“How’d you defeat him last time, then?” Jacob asks.
“It was a spell that Nicolas could do that would break the spell for a short period of time. We’re talking minutes,” I say.
Havoc thinks back on it. “We went first and attacked Geoff, right? While you stayed back?”
I nod. “Yeah, we didn’t want to waste time with it, so we waited until things were dire before Nicolas did the spell on me. Geoff thought we did something to the spell he has on me, since the first few times he used it, it didn’t work. By the time it started working again, he’d stopped trying it. It was luck, honestly. But Nicolas is dead, and I have no idea what the spell was.”
“Even so, it’s not ideal—we need to break the spell,” Havoc says.
“Can I see all of the markings? Can you take your clothes off?” Jacob asks.
“I’d have to be naked,” I say.
“We’ve all seen a penis,” Etienne helpfully supplies. “Doesn’t mean we won’t make fun of yours, but we have all seen them.”
Yoko clears her throat. “Is this my cue to leave?”
“You could be of help; just like don’t look and it’ll be fine,” I say as the entire audience stares at me while I reach for the button of my pants. “Is it more awkward if I strip while you guys look? Should I leave and strip and just come in naked? Do I try to cover up with something? Does anyone have like a thong at their disposal?”
“I vote for the striptease,” Havoc helpfully supplies.
“That wasn’t part of the choices.”
“I vote that one too!” Etienne says.
“You… do?” Leo asks.
Etienne smiles warmly in response.
“I’m just going to whip them off. Havoc wanders around naked all the time,” I say as I push my pants down right as the door jingles and we all look over at Sam, Johnson, and Iya.
“Orgy!” Iya shouts.
Havoc starts laughing. “This reminds me of the memory last night! Iya, we were talking about the first time Miles met you! Remember? When you turned and your penis smacked him in the face?”
Iya’s face shows so much glee. “Iya does remember! He screamed like a little girl.”
“I did not scream!” I say while trying to see if it’s possible to tuck my underwear in a way that they can still see the markings without having to show everyone everything.
“Sam likes it when I smack his face with my penis,” Iya says and Sam’s face ignites. I could roast marshmallows off his face.
Johnson clears his throat. “We… We’re here about last night, but I see you guys are busy…”
“We’re trying to break a spell Geoff has on me. It’s not anything weird. Just like a normal meeting,” I say.
“With extra penis,” Havoc adds.
“I’m trying to hide the penis. Just ignore my groin, have a se
at, and explain what you can,” I say.
They awkwardly sit down as I try to ignore Jacob, Yoko, and Etienne examining me with my underwear shoved up my ass crack.
Sam flips open his notebook and glances at it. “So we did round up quite a few of them. The shop owner admitted to them belonging to the Velmah de Rizen. The new one. She had no idea that it used to be a cult that killed all magical beings. She said her coven forced her into it when she wanted nothing to do with any of it. They were promised that they were making a god, so the first step was giving him a protector, which is why they summoned the valient. They were under the impression that a mage by the name of Terrance would be in control of it—”
“Don’t look at his ass,” Havoc hisses.
“I’m looking at the lines across his ass, not his ass. Although, it is a very nice ass,” Etienne says.
“Take that back.”
“You want me to say he has an ugly ass?” Etienne asks.
I sigh. “Let’s stay focused, please.”
There’s minor grumbling, but Sam is permitted to continue.
“For now, we’re questioning them, but most are refusing to talk. To our understanding they’re only a small part of the Velmah de Rizen. For now, that’s all we know.”
We go over everything we know but there’s honestly nothing new. We still don’t know Geoff’s exact location, but at least we have some of his people behind bars. So I suppose that’s a step in the right direction.
“Now please tell me someone has an idea about what to do with this,” I say as I motion at my body.
Jacob makes a noise that I don’t want to hear, and I know what he’s going to say before he even says it. “I’ve honestly never seen something like this. It’s apparent that it was performed using black magic, and I don’t even know of a mage who practices black magic to ask.”
“It’s highly illegal and stupidly risky. I don’t know any either,” I admit. “I do… know black magic. I mean, I was taught by a dark mage, but even I can’t do anything about it. It might be because I’m not a true dark mage.”
“I could break it,” Etienne says casually as he sinks back down into his chair. “But you’re not going to like how.”
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