His One Choice

by Hunter, Ellie R

  “We don’t have to leave now.”

  He should be happy. He was going to leave town for me, not because he truly wanted to. I don’t know what changed his mind, but something did.

  “All I know is you’ve been trying to leave for weeks and now you want to put yourself in the middle of Leo’s life? I just want to understand.”

  “Everyone keeps telling me to hold down the truth and move on. I might never move on, but I can, in some way, help him with the baby, with whatever I can, and make up for choosing her without him ever knowing.”

  JJ turns off onto Leo’s road and a huge set of gates have appeared from nowhere. They weren’t here the last time I came here.

  “When did he do this?”

  “A couple of weeks ago.”

  He leans his arm out the window and enters a code, the gates slowly open and he drives through.

  At the end of the drive, Leo is waiting for us on the porch. Alone. It hits me he will always be alone, but I push it aside and climb out the car when Jay parks by Leo’s bike.

  JJ’s eyes burn into my back as I walk over to my brother. I understand he’s worried about me and I can’t love him anymore for it, but he doesn’t need to, I have a focus now.

  “Rayna’s asleep in her room. She shouldn’t but if she wakes up, I’ve left her a bottle in the fridge, all you have to do is warm it up.”

  Okay, that shouldn’t be so hard. Bottle, warm it up, feed her. Got it.

  “Um, how do I warm it up? How do I know it’s warm?”

  He runs through the instructions while I follow him inside, JJ sticking close behind.

  “Her bedroom is the second door on the left as you get to the top of the stairs.” He runs out the room and reappears in seconds holding a monitor. “It’s on already, just listen out for her and you’ll be fine. Actually, pop your head through the door a couple of times too, just to be safe.”

  “Okay, I can do that.”

  “I’ll have my phone on me, if you need anything, or anything happens, call me.”

  “Nothing is going to happen, brother. Harper will be fine and the kid will be fine. Come on, let’s go and get this done.”

  Leo nods and grabs the torch from the table and heads out the back door. JJ pulls me against him and kisses the top of my head.

  “We won’t be long, make sure you lock up behind me.”

  “I will.”

  He darts out the back door, quickly catching up to Leo and I lock up. Silence fills the kitchen and I walk through to the living room.

  A couple of lamps fill the room with a soft glow and I sit on the edge of the couch taking in every little detail. The place is rustic and tidy. It’s homely and warm. Okay, so now I don’t know what to do with myself. I ignore the photos around the place and curse the Jackson family for being so good with a camera. What is their deal taking damn photos all the time? Who am I kidding, I’m only jealous. I check my watch and count the eight minutes the guys have been gone. This is going to be a long night. Time ticks by ever so slowly and it’s only been sixteen minutes when I next check the time.

  Getting up from the couch, I wander around the cabin and end up outside the baby’s bedroom door. I gently open it and step inside, careful not to make a sound. Rayna is sleeping peacefully in her cot and I creep across the room and look down at her.

  She hasn’t got her mom anymore, unless you believe in her spirit lingering around, but I’m her Aunt and aunts can give advice the same way a mother can. As long as I’m in her life, she won’t be stuck around the ever-growing egos of the brothers. I can help her with relationship advice when she’s a lot older, make-up, everything.

  “I won’t let you down,” I whisper to her.

  JJ

  We walked his land for nearly four hours, clocking all the spots where anyone could wander in and get close to him and the baby and for the last two days he’s been on a security kick. Harper has done a one-eighty on me and turned into some sort of step-ford wife, there’s nothing apparently she can’t offer to help with when it comes to Leo and Rayna. And right now, she’s currently on her third attempt at baking a pumpkin pie and I’ve got my fingers crossed this one doesn’t end up in the trash with the others. To say she’s been a different person since Leo showed up on our doorstep would be an understatement. After we left the cabin, she unpacked our things and vowed we weren’t leaving and she would never mention it again. The past forty-eight hours have been exhausting. She hasn’t mentioned Ellis, nor India, she’s been genuinely happy and fucking weird. She’s even convinced Leo to show up for Thanksgiving dinner at the club with the baby and even more shocking, he agreed. I was beginning to think he’d never step back into the place after witnessing India dying in the middle of the bar.

  I’m at a loss of how to proceed, this happy spell of hers isn’t going to last and I’m tense, waiting for her to dip, because when she does, she’s going to go down fast.

  Her ability to chop and change her moods gives me whiplash. It’s been two days of bated breath watching Harper help with Rayna, someone who doesn’t even like babies, and she’s come across as a natural with her. Her and Alannah seem to be getting along much better now too, everything is screaming it’s too perfect. Harper has been up since five am baking and burning, baking and burning, and as she bends over to collect her third attempt from the oven, she laughs. I love the sound coming from her, I just wish I knew it was real.

  “It’s perfect,” she beams. “Come and look, babe.”

  I pull myself up from the chair and cross the kitchen. To be fair, the pie smells amazing and whether it tastes as nice as it smells or not, I won’t ever admit it to her. I plan on telling her it’s the best damn pie I’ve ever eaten whether it’s the truth or not.

  “Looks good, you should go and get ready and let it cool.”

  She nips out the kitchen and darts upstairs. I listen out for the shower and nip out the back door for a smoke. My nerves are high today and heaviness clouds over my chest when I breathe. Something is coming, I can feel it, I just don’t know what or when. All I do know is I’ll be ready for anything.

  The club is the busiest it’s been in a while and we have to push our way through the brothers crowding the door, staying out the way while the old ladies sort through all the food. I carry Harper’s pie over to the table set up with desserts and hand it over to my mom.

  “Happy Thanksgiving.”

  “Yeah, you too,” I grumble and earn a slap around the back of the head. “Hey!”

  “Today is not for bad moods and bad attitudes.”

  “Then why do I feel like shit is about to rain down over us?”

  Snorting, she places the pie in the centre of the table and turns back to me.

  “Welcome to my life.”

  She’s not taking me seriously. The old timers deal with trouble a lot calmer than we do but fucking hell, she should listen to me.

  I meet Harper by the bar, she doesn’t see me coming towards her until I’m at her side. She’s focused on searching the bar and around the brothers.

  “The last I heard, Slade and Kristen weren’t coming and they haven’t been here for a while,” I murmur quietly in her ear.

  Her shoulders relax and her smile reappears. She’s seen and spoke with Leo, but she hasn’t seen or spoken with Slade and Kristen. She’s barely spent any time with Zach. Carrying on with her search, she’s looking for Leo. The knot in my gut tightens but I push through it and keep her close to me. The tables have been pushed together to form two long tables and every chair in the place is tucked neatly under them. It looks like every Thanksgiving I’ve had. White linen clothes are draped over with plates and glasses laid out ready for dinner. It’s the most formal the club gets and it’s only because of Alannah and my mom, and a few other old ladies.

  “Why don’t we go find our dads?” I suggest.

  If I can keep her busy, the day shouldn’t drag its ass. “Sure, we should say hi.”

  The mood is growing lighter as
we make our way over to the only table not pushed together with the others and find our fathers sitting with Pope and Ricky.

  I pull out a chair for Harper and wait for her to sit before I sit next to her, resting my arm on the back of her chair.

  “How you doing, son?” Dad asks as he slides a bottle of beer towards me across the table.

  I scoop it up and take long pull. “All good.”

  “You good, Harper?” Cas asks.

  “Yep, I made a pie…from scratch,” she tells him, proud of herself.

  “I’ll be sure to try some.”

  I tune out the conversations around me and scope the bar, my eyes dart from brother to brother, waiting for something, anything, to kick off. Tensions have never been this high before, I’m grateful when Alannah calls time for dinner.

  “Do you see my mom anywhere?” Harper asks, leaning up on her tiptoes as she stands to look around for her.

  “I don’t see her.” And I haven’t for weeks, although I don’t tell Harper that.

  The last I heard, she left town before Harper came back. By all accounts she was playing the doting mother, ordering Cas to bring their daughter home and then bam, she runs out of town without a word. This is the first time she’s brought her up and I hope it’s the last time.

  “Come on, let’s take our seats before the brothers descend.”

  Placing my hand on the small of her back, I guide her to where I usually sit and pull out a chair for her.

  We sit and brothers follow our lead. Zach and Nina sit next to us and Luca sits opposite, his eyes following Victoria as she sits further down with her dad and Grampa.

  The door bangs open as Leo walks in with the baby. Alannah is straight on him, going to take her granddaughter.

  With his arms free, he accepts a beer from the twins and sits at the other end of the table. No one mentions the fact he’s keeping himself away from Cas and his family but conversations die down as they look between him and Cas taking his seat at the head of our table.

  He offers a smile to Harper and looks down to Leo. Again, nothing is said but tension is simmering through everyone.

  Thankfully, the old ladies start to bring the bowls and platters of food over and dad sits beside Luca. He tips his head my way and smiles at Harper.

  The food has barely touched the table before brothers are piling in, grumbling their satisfaction how good it all smells, me too, when the place falls silent and Harper squeezes my thigh under the table.

  Looking up, I’m in direct view of the stairs and Slade is walking down with Kristen’s arm laced through his. Heads quickly look away when they reach the bottom of the stairs, but I can’t look away, Kristen has lost so much weight and she didn’t exactly have a lot to lose. She’s half the size she was a few weeks ago. Her face is drawn in, her cheekbones protruding in a sickly way and the bags under eyes are dark and heavy. Slade doesn’t look much better, but he looks a lot more physically stronger than his old lady.

  They take their seats and everyone goes back to eating their dinners. Side glancing to Harper, she isn’t moving and she stares down at her plate. My memories of Thanksgiving is good food, music and everyone relaxed and having a good time. Not today, today feels like a last supper before being marched to the electric chair. Slade fills a plate for Kristen and sets it in front of her, he murmurs something in her ear but she zombies out and doesn’t touch the food. Slade at least tries to eat something. Flicking my eyes up to my dad, he’s feeling the awkwardness just as much as me and sits back in his chair, leaning his arm on the back of mom’s chair beside him. She offers him a small smile and makes herself busy digging into her potatoes. It’s Leo who speaks up first and everyone turns to look at him.

  He hasn’t touched the food; his plate is empty. He slouches back in his chair like he’s the most relaxed guy on earth.

  “Who wants to go first and say what they’re thankful for?” he says, and no one utters a word. “Okay, I’ll start…” He stands, picking up his bottle of beer and the knot that has been tightening slowly in my gut all day twists and turns now.

  “Before we get to that shit, I have something I want to say,” Cas cuts in, standing himself. Leo falls back in his chair and jerks his chin.

  “The last few months have not only brought devastation to our lives; it’s brought us to our knees. I took something from you all when Ellis was killed, and I’ve been trying to make it up to you all ever since. At the Old Mill, there are twenty-nine Crow fucks waiting for you, brothers,” he pauses and directs his attention to Leo. “The three Crows who held you down, Leo, we have them, for you.”

  Leo pushes out of his chair and I don’t think he’s satisfied by Cas’s declaration.

  “Is that supposed to be enough, our justice?” he snaps.

  “That’s not what I’m saying…”

  “What are you saying, dad? Because all I’m hearing is how you’re offering us scraps. You took it upon yourself to take him out, that’s what I want to know, because I’ve been driving myself mad as to why you did it? I don’t get it, I really fucking don’t. So, tell me, tell us all why you killed him and make it the truth.”

  “I’ve already told you, I did it for the club.”

  “I asked for the truth,” Leo roars and I push my plate away.

  “Son, I…”

  “No,” Leo yells, slamming his hands on the table. The plates rattle and a glass tips over on its side.

  “Let’s have a show of hands. Who here believes their President?”

  His voice is cold and the way he spits out president isn’t good.

  Only eyes move and they roam to see who puts their hands up and the simmering tension that has been hanging over us goes up a notch when only a few brothers raise their hands. I raise mine and Leo shoots me a glare. Cas takes it in and nods slowly.

  “Looks like I’m not the only one who thinks you’re full of shit. Give us the fucking truth or rip your patch off.”

  Gasps fly around the tables and echo between my ears. Cas has never been called out on his patch in my lifetime and by the looks of the old timers, they haven’t seen things get to this level either.

  “Leo, you can’t do this,” Alannah blurts out, rising from her chair.

  I notice none of the brothers are saying a word, in defence or in agreement with Leo.

  “Sit down, mom. This is club business,” he spits out and I’m more shocked at the way he spoke to her than him calling out Cas. She plants her ass on her chair and bites down on her bottom lip. Cas places his hand on her shoulder and takes a deep breath.

  “Seriously, tell us why right now or take that fucking patch off.”

  Moments pass and then ever so slowly, Cas digs out a small flick knife from his cut pocket and tips the point of the blade to his president’s patch.

  “Cas,” Alannah gasps and stands once again.

  My dad closely follows her to his feet and leans over the table to take the knife away from him. Cas steps back, never once taking his eyes away from Leo. His son stands there, eagerly waiting.

  “If this is what you need, I’ll do it.”

  Harper’s chair shoots out from behind her in her rush to stand and she’s shaking.

  “Don’t,” she begs Cas, then looks to Leo. “He did it for me.” Her voice quivers as she speaks and after inhaling and exhaling, she repeats herself. “He did it because of me.”

  Harper

  A small part of me and the small voice that has quietened a lot over the last year never quite believed Cas wanted me in his life, him only going through the motions for appearances sake. But when he called me home promising he’d protect me, and now him choosing to give up being president so he could still keep my secret, I have never felt more safe and secure. He has been a Lost Soul for many years, loyal to them above everything and anything and I feel that level of loyalty towards me. His actions have proved so much more than any words spoken could have and it’s making me dizzy.

  He was going to rip his patch off,
he didn’t even think it over for very long. He was going to do it. He was going to cut out something that has been his life since he was a teenager.

  “Harper? What are you talking about?” Leo asks, and JJ’s hand finds its way to mine.

  This is it, Cas showed me he has my back and now I’m going to have his.

  “Ellis made me choose, he twisted everything in my head till I couldn’t think…”

  “What did you have to choose, darling?” Uncle Slade asks, and his voice cuts through my heart like a knife through warm butter. He sounds broken. I finally keep my eyes on him for longer than the three second time frame earlier, and the tear falls. Another tear falls for the pain I’m about to cause when he’s already drowning in the stuff.

  “He gave me an ultimatum.” Taking another deep breath, I squeeze Jay’s hand hard. “He made me choose who would die…India or Leo.”

  I know the pain and suffering that’s about to entail, but letting the truth out has never felt so good to me.

  Slade balks and struggles for air. Kristen’s eyes widen and don’t move from me.

  “You…chose her?” he whispers just loud enough I can hear.

  “She did, and that’s what you’re protecting her from, isn’t it? You killed Ellis because he told you what he made her do and you got her back here by silencing him.” Leo has it spot on and everyone looks to me. Leo turns to me. “It’s why you wanted to speak to me when we were looking for you, you kept telling me how sorry you were. I didn’t get it then, but I do now. You were apologising for India.” Leo falls on his chair, realisation drowning him. “Dad killed him for you, for you,” he mutters, and I swipe away the tears that won’t stop.

  I don’t realise JJ has stood until I feel his warmth at my back and his hands settle on my shoulders.

  “Cas didn’t kill Ellis. I did,” he tells him, well everyone.

  Zachery pushes out of his chair like he’s about to launch himself at us, but he just stands there, staring at us. It’s Leo who runs around the table, I’m yanked to the side and then all I can see is JJ’s back. He’s out of his mind if he thinks I’m not going to face my brother. I move to his side and Leo comes to a stop a foot from us.