by Jen Luerssen
“When Kit came to us after she met you, she was nervous about telling you. Sig and I have advocated for her to tell you since the beginning but we understood her hesitation. I hope you don’t hold it against her.”
I think for a bit. I don’t blame her: she was being protective of her family. That I can relate to and appreciate. “I understand, but that doesn’t mean I’m not upset about being in the dark these past months.”
Kit nods, tears streaming down her face. “I’m sorry if you think I was toying with you, I’m not. I genuinely care for you. I just don’t know how everything fits together. It’s my fault, I was trying to see you in two roles. Possible father and partner. I realized a few weeks ago that I didn’t need to fit you in any category. You are a really good man and I’m confident that Bea would be lucky to have you in her life.”
“I wish you would have told me straight away,” I say because I’m mad but I don’t like to see Kit cry. “You know the betrayal I’ve experienced and this feels worse.”
Kit breaks into sobs and Peyton pulls her to him. I lean forward putting my head in my hands, then I stand. I need to leave.
“I’m going to go home,” I say because I need some time to process everything. I look at Kit. “I’m not past the point of no return angry, mostly hurt that you didn’t trust me sooner. Let me go through it on my own and I promise I’ll be back. Then we can discuss where we go from there.”
She nods and her eyes are so sad. It takes all I have to walk away from her.
***
Pulling into my drive I realize I have no recollection of how I got myself home. My brain is completely occupied with thoughts of Kit, Bea, and where I can possibly fit in. The ideal would be I move them in here to my home and that’s the end of it. Somehow, I don’t see that happening. Not right away. Can I picture a life with them in it? Yes, but I know I can’t force it.
Honestly, I need to make a decision about my daughter. That’s my priority now and I feel good about that. If I’m going to be a dad then she will have to come first. They say they want me to be in her life, but how? What rights do I have? Technically, they could keep her from me if they wanted but why tell me if that’s the case.
Until I see Joe sitting in a thong on one of my barstools, I forget that I’m not alone in my house. Betsy is at the stove cooking what looks like grilled cheese. I glance at the clock and see that it’s just after noon.
“Where have you been, Sebass? In your note, you said you’d be right back. I’m assuming that was more than an hour ago when we finally woke up,” Joe says with a wink.
“No winking, Joe, we have had several discussions about it,” Betsy scolds and Joe shrugs.
“I can’t help it sometimes. My charm is unstoppable,” Joe says with a cheesy smile.
“Is it too much to ask for you to cover your, ahem, charms while you’re a guest in my home?” I ask with a little bit of edge.
Joe hops up off the stool making a big deal to walk to the sink, wet a paper towel and then wipe down where his bare ass was sitting. Then he walks with an exaggerated swagger toward the guest room.
Not two minutes later he’s back in jeans and still no shirt. It’s a start. “So, where were you? Where’s Kitty Cat? You two were eye fucking all night and did not try to hide it when you left in the golf cart well before the pregnant ladies. So, did you bone? Did you ruin it after? I need deets. Betsy doesn’t tell me any of the stripper or software gossip. The only drama in my life is Dom’s geezer Tinder exploits.”
“Well, it was no big deal. I followed Kit to her parents’ house where I found that she has a daughter, who also happens to be mine. Her name is Bea, she looks just like me, and I don’t know what to do.” I spill all of this out in one big run-on sentence. I look up and Joe and Betsy are looking at me with shock.
Joe walks to me. “Are you saying that there IS a secret baby? Holy shit, can I tell Frank?” he asks taking out his phone.
“Joe, really? How about you support your friend here?” Betsy says, smacking his bare shoulder. “I’ll take my sandwich to our room; I have some emails to send.” She walks by me and kisses my cheek. “Lucky baby,” she says.
When I turn back to Joe, his head is hanging. “It’s fine, Joe, I’m not really upset. I mean, do I wish I had been able to experience her birth and first almost two years of her life? Yes, but it’s no one’s fault. Kit and I didn’t exchange names. She didn’t even know I was attending the same conference.”
“What are you going to do?” he asks, sitting back down on the stool. I walk around opposite him and lean on the counter.
“I’m not sure. They all seem amenable to me being involved.”
“Who is all? Is Kit in some sort of sister wives situation?”
I shake my head. “No, Kit was adopted and she is very close with her dads. When she told them she was pregnant and not sure what to do, they volunteered to help raise the baby while she got her life together.”
“Whoa, that’s some selfless shit right there,” Joe says and I agree. “Kit is still the mom though?”
“Yeah, they gave her the freedom to finish school, get herself established in the wine business without the pressure of being a full-time parent.”
He taps his finger to his chin. “Dude, once you’re a parent there’s no such thing as part-time. Even if you aren’t physically with them you are still with them,” Joe says. He was given the task at a young age of raising his younger brother after his parents passed away. “It’s nice that she was able to finish school and get a job but that’s a sacrifice too. I don’t know Kit very well, but if you and Mikey agreed to hire her on as head winemaker that means she worked her ass off to get it. Even though she was away from her kid, I bet she didn’t waste any free time partying or skipping class. She had to dedicate herself or it wouldn’t be worth giving up that time.”
“I didn’t think of it that way. She and her dads have something special and it worked for them. I’m not sure how well it would work for other families. What do you think I should do?” I ask, genuinely wanting to know his opinion.
“Dude, take it slow. Get to know the little Bea, the dads, and Kit better. Also, get a lawyer.”
I frown at this advice. “A lawyer? Are you sure? That seems a little premature.”
“I don’t think so. Trust me, you want to know all of your rights and options up front. Maybe you never see the inside of a courtroom and everything works out and you and Kit run through a field of wildflowers with your babies running around, but also maybe everything goes sideways.”
“What?” I ask, amused. “I’d love to be in your head just for five minutes.”
“You wouldn’t be able to handle it,” he says. “I barely can.”
We laugh and Betsy comes back in smiling at us. “Did you guys work it out?”
“No, but Sebass here will rise to the top, he always does,” Joe says, pulling Betsy in for a hug, kissing the top of her head.
“Well, I just got off the phone with Mikey and they all want to get lunch. You interested, Sebastian? Joe and I can keep our traps shut about your news,” she says but looks at her boyfriend with some doubt.
“Harsh, Bets, I can keep a secret,” Joe says looking fake wounded. “Like, I bet you didn’t know that Frank likes it when you tickle his balls during sex.”
Betsy and I burst out laughing. “Oh my god, my boyfriend is in love with another man.”
I nod. “Good thing it’s unrequited.”
Joe grabs my shirt and pulls me to him. If he’s trying to be menacing, it’s failing miserably. “Take that back, Sebass.”
I put my hands up in surrender. “I take it back; Fucking Frank likes his balls tickled and is in platonic love with Joe Davis.”
“What the fuck?” someone asks from the area near the front door. We all turn as Mikey, Lia, Javier, and Frank walk in.
“Mamas and the Papas, this day is getting interesting!” Lia exclaims. She and Mikey break down into hysterics.
Mikey pauses her laughter. “He does like his balls tickled.”
“For fuck’s sake,” Frank mumbles and we all laugh.
“Sebass has a secret baby!” Joe shouts.
Salty Bea
Sebastian
After a lunch filled with questions, congratulations, and both solicited and unsolicited advice, I text Kit.
Me: Can I come over?
Chaton: I’m at my cabin.
Me: Be right there.
Instead of taking a cart, I walk briskly up my drive, follow the path to the main building, then continue on to the cabins. I’m pretty sure Andrew, Jen, and Mae are out for the day but are planning to stay the night. Maybe she forgot something.
I knock and when Kit answers she is sweating and wearing a very small pair of shorts and a sports bra. “Come in, I’m almost done.”
I follow her in where she drops to a mat next to the tiny trampoline. There is someone yelling out instructions on her laptop and Kit is following them. This was something I would have been more than happy to see a mere eight hours ago. Now, I’m just confused, emotional, yet still 1000% turned on by her.
“I’ll be in the kitchen,” I say walking to the sink and looking out the window until she finishes.
A few minutes later, she is reaching across me turning on the water and filling her glass. “Excuse me,” she says quietly. “Sorry about that, I needed to expel some excess energy.”
“I didn’t mean to disrupt your day with your family.”
“No, I’m sorry you found out that way, it wasn’t fair to you.”
“None of it seems fair,” I say regretfully. “I don’t blame anyone for what happened. It did, and now we move on and figure it out.”
“I’m glad, but I still am angry at myself for keeping it from you. I was being selfish. I thought once you found out you’d lose interest in me. Have you?” she asks, eyes shining.
I shake my head. “Since you’re standing here in next to nothing and all I want to do is rip the next to nothing off, I’d say my interest is alive and kicking.”
“Oh,” she says and sounds disappointed. “Well, good to know where I stand.”
“Chaton, I meant my body reacts to you, all of you, not just the hot and sweaty parts.” I tap her head. “The brain and personality parts too. Am I cautious with my heart? Yes, but you’ve busted through most of it. I’m sure you can do it again.”
“I’m going to shower and then I’m taking you back home with me. No pressure, just having dinner and conversation. We don’t have to talk about logistics, just hang out with my dads and Bea. How does that sound?”
“Sounds good,” I reply and she heads to the bathroom while I try not to think of her naked in the shower.
***
“We’re glad you could make it, Sebastian,” Peyton tells me as he kisses me on each cheek in the European style. My mom and her family are way back two cheek kissers so I happily oblige. Then I think of my mom and dad and how they will react to being instant grandparents. I’m not worried, my mom will lose her mind and love Bea instantly. My dad will look at the whole situation with logic and then will be a ball of mush when he meets his granddaughter.
“I’m happy to be here. I apologize if I was rude in any way earlier,” I say.
“Not necessary, I’m sure it was a shock,” Sig says throwing a scolding look at Kit. “Please, come sit.” He gestures to the living room which is a stylish sunken room with a large sectional in front of a giant picture of a peacock that I didn’t notice earlier.
“I tried to keep Bea up but she was tired. She usually doesn’t make it much past 7pm,” Peyton says.
It hits me that I don’t know the first thing about children or how they work. I’ve had limited interactions with Mae her whole life but never more than a few minutes. There was no time where I had to perform any helpful tasks except maybe the time I held her while Jen had to pee once. A feeling of dread washes over me.
“Hey,” Kit says taking my hand pulling me to sit down, “remember, no logistics, just dinner and conversation.”
“Maybe a little bit of grilling from the parents, too,” Peyton jokes and I instantly feel at ease.
“I like that photo,” I say gesturing to the peacock, “Reminds me of Kit’s tattoo.”
“Does he know about Kelly and Simon?” Sig asks, fortunately ignoring the fact that I brought up seeing his daughter’s bare back.
Kit smiles widely. “Nope, let’s save them for another time, I think Salty’s had enough today.”
“Salty?” Peyton asks smiling.
“Yes, daddy, you should have seen his behavior when we met again. He was afraid of me, so he pushed me away with all kinds of salty behavior.”
“Oh no, so he was afraid of his feelings for you so he was rude?” Peyton gives me a look.
Kit nods. “To be fair I found out why and then he was less salty to me as time went on.”
Sig smiles at me with pity. “These two get going and all you can do is wait it out.”
“So, they carry on conversations about you like you’re not sitting right next to them?” I ask.
He nods.
“Is Sig taking his cholesterol medicine again?” Kit asks, ignoring us.
“He is, the doctor had a fit because his numbers went up. I can tell he’s making an effort because he’s been frustrated about not keeping up with Bea lately.”
“They went up?” Kit turns to Sig.
“Just a little bit, they are all overreacting in my opinion. I’m German, my constitution is solid and I will eat sausage whenever I want,” Sig says quietly but firmly.
“Okay, Papa, but I have enough to worry about, take your meds,” Kit says just as firmly. Watching her with them it’s clear she is an even mix of them. Strong, stubborn, charming and playful.
“Can I hear about Bea?” I ask interrupting but I’m curious about her.
They all look at me smiling wildly. “Oh boy that’s a loaded question,” Peyton says laughing.
“Of course, Sebastian. We are all a little obsessed with her so prepare yourself.” Kit pats my knee and I pretend not to notice how that innocent touch zips straight to my dick. What the fuck is wrong with me?
“I’m ready,” I say. “It’s clear that she is adored and that makes me happy. Can you start from the beginning?”
“Oh boy, he wants to know about prego Bunny,” Peyton teases. “This one was possibly the most beautiful pregnant lady ever, but she was a moody bitch.”
“Daddy!” Kit exclaims.
“What? It’s true. Thank goodness you were at school most of the time but remember your roommate moved out after the fall semester?”
“Yes, and it was great for me to have the place to myself and be able to have a room for Bea,” Kit says and turns to me. “My pregnancy was relatively easy, but I was a moody bitch. It didn’t help that I was thinking about you more than I should have.”
My heart sinks at her confession. “I’m sorry you were on your own,” I say.
“Not your fault, and I wasn’t alone,” Kit says waving at her dads. “These two never let me have a moment of peace. ‘Kit what color should we use in the nursery? Kit which bottle brand? Kit should we do cloth diapers?’ It was constant. When I was at school, they would come up every weekend and take me shopping for maternity clothes, baby gear, and food. My kitchen was like a Whole Foods market. I was spoiled which was not unusual but this was excessive.”
“She went into labor one weekend I was there and Sig was in L.A. Her water broke after we went for Thai food and then she had Beatrice about 12 hours later. Sig made it in time to see her come screaming into the world.” Peyton smiles as he remembers. “It wasn’t too bad of a labor and delivery.”
“Says the guy,” Kit says rolling her eyes. “It was normal and there were no complications even though she came a few weeks early. Still hurt like a motherfucker though.” She gets up and takes something off the shelf.
“We brought Bea home and all three of us w
ere hooked,” Sig says. “It was the best three months of my life, outside of when we adopted Kit.”
“Here’s her birth announcement,” Kit hands me a framed photo announcement. Beatrice Huntsman Becker, born March 23, 2017, 7 lbs., 2 oz. 22 inches.
I laugh out loud. “Huntsman is her middle name?” I ask.
Kit smiles and her eyes sparkle. “It was all I had to give her from you. I told you that night changed my life and it did. My life is better because Bea is in it. You gave me her and I’ll be forever grateful.” Tears are flowing down Kit’s face and I just want to take her in my arms, so I do.
“It’s okay, Chaton.” I smooth her hair down and hold her close. “Thank you for loving her so much.”
“We all do,” Peyton chimes in. “Please never doubt that.”
“Can we eat yet?” Sig asks and we all laugh. “Peyton promised me steak. I’ll tell you everything about my little Buzz as long as I can do it stuffing meat into my mouth.”
“Papa,” Kit scolds. “You are terrible.”
“I’ll be the first to tell you he is plenty able to multitask with meat in his mouth,” Peyton says cheekily and Kit puts her head in her hands.
“Sorry, my dads are gross,” Kit mumbles.
“Parents have sex, Kit, it’s a fact of life. I thought we raised you with sex positivity.” Sig shakes his head.
“There’s sex positivity and there’s hearing about your dad getting a blow job.” She shivers. “I’m happy you have a healthy sex life but please don’t ever tell me about it.”
“Have you met us?” Peyton asks getting up from the couch.
Kit stands too and looks up at her dad. “Unfortunately, I have.”
We all follow into the dining room. It’s set up for dinner and looks like a page out of a magazine.
“Sorry we didn’t have time to prepare, Sebastian,” Peyton gestures to the table like it’s not perfect. “Next time we will make sure the table is sparkling.”