Rock Rebel

by Tara Leigh

  “Hey there, Shania. Bet you didn’t expect me home so soon,” Piper crooned as she pushed open her door.

  “I didn’t know you had a dog.” I sniffled, offering my hand for scrutiny.

  Piper dropped her purse on the floor and headed straight for a small hallway just beyond her living room. “Yes, the only other good thing to come out of my last relationship, actually.” Shania trotted back to me when Piper closed the bathroom door, and I walked over to the couch. As if the dog knew I needed comforting, she sat at my feet, putting her head on my knees. “Maybe if Dax had gotten me a puppy I wouldn’t be so angry about his wife,” I whispered, gurgling a laugh through my tears.

  God, could my life get any more ridiculous?

  When Piper came out of the bathroom, she went directly into the kitchen and returned with two pints of Ben and Jerry’s. “Cookie dough or pistachio?”

  “Cookie dough, definitely.”

  She handed me the ice cream, along with a spoon. “Good, because otherwise I was going to have to tell you that Firefly prefers pistachio.”

  Another laugh trickled out as I pried the cover off and used my spoon to dig out a chunk of dough. “Firefly is very particular.”

  “You’re telling me,” she acknowledged. “So, what happened?”

  I shoved a bite in my mouth and decided to come right out with it. “Did you know Dax was married?”

  “What?” The blatant surprise flashing across Piper’s face convinced me she’d had absolutely no idea. “You’re kidding, right?”

  I pushed my spoon back into the container. “I wish I were.”

  “Where did you hear that? It could be a fake story, planted by—”

  “The woman who showed up at Dax’s house was very real.” I wasn’t ready to admit that I knew her yet.

  Piper was quiet for a moment, scooping an enormous bite of green ice cream onto her spoon. “And there’s no way it was just a big misunderstanding?”

  “I don’t see how. Dax didn’t deny it.”

  “Well, did he look happy to see her?”

  I shook my head. “No. He looked nearly as surprised as I was. And then angry.”

  “Angry.” Piper rolled the word around in her mouth like it was one of the nuts in her ice cream. Her eyes snapped back to me. “Then what?”

  “Then I left. I wasn’t going to stick around and witness their happy little reunion.”

  A chirping sounded from inside Piper’s bag. She set her ice cream on a coaster, then retrieved her purse. “It doesn’t sound very happy.”

  I groaned an acknowledgment as Piper checked her screen.

  “I have about thirteen texts from Travis and Dax. They want to know if you’re with me.”

  Remembering that my phone was charging on my nightstand—no, Dax’s nightstand—I was hit by a wave of sadness. I would never again spend a night in his bed, wrapped up in his arms, my body thrumming with desire, a cocoon of happiness enveloping us both.

  Because Dax was married.

  Because Dax was a liar.

  Because he’d treated me like I was nothing, no one.

  Piper thumbed out a text on her phone as I shoveled more ice cream into my mouth. “Well, I guess there’s no need to worry about getting fitted for costumes. Even if I still wanted to go on tour, there’s no way Dax would—” I stopped abruptly. “You know, who cares what he wants. I don’t want to go on tour with him. There.”

  I was feeling pretty proud of myself until I noticed Piper staring at me with one eyebrow raised like an impatient teacher.

  “What?”

  “That’s the hurt talking.”

  “Exactly. Because I’m hurting.”

  She put her phone aside. “But you’re also a professional. There are contracts and monetary penalties if you don’t hold up your end of the bargain.”

  I put down the tub and resettled myself on her couch, tucking my bare feet beneath my thighs. “Travis can figure something out.”

  “Travis is just going to say he told you so for getting involved with Dax in the first place. You know that, right?”

  My stomach was churning, taking all that creamy deliciousness I’d just ingested and converting it into spoiled milk. “What would you have me do, then?”

  Piper grunted. “I’d have you put your big-girl panties on and pretend like it’s his loss.” She patted her belly. “Look at the bright side—if you still want nothing to do with Dax after the tour, you can walk away from him free and clear.”

  The dose of reality put things in perspective. Piper was right. After our tour I would never have to see Dax again. Meanwhile, she would be tied to her ex forever.

  There was a white flash of lightning outside the window, and then we both jumped as a deafening boom shook the air. Moments later rain lashed the glass. I stood up, crossing the room to peer out at the parking lot. The rain was coming down so heavily, it splashed off the asphalt.

  Piper came up beside me and ran a reassuring hand over my back. “Everything will get sorted out somehow. I’m sure of it.”

  That made one of us.

  I was still standing by the window, peering at the rain, when I saw a familiar car streak through the parking lot. I didn’t wait for it to jerk to a stop before spinning around and glaring incredulously at Piper. “You told him I was here.”

  Piper at least had the decency to look slightly guilty. “Travis is my boss, Verity. And in case you haven’t noticed, I kind of need this job.”

  I had begun to think of Piper as a friend, and maybe she was…but her loyalty was to Travis first.

  The truth stung. Salt on fresh wounds.

  She gathered up the ice cream and spoons, Shania her four-legged shadow. “I’ll leave you to it.”

  The soft click of her bedroom door was covered by the pounding on her front door.

  “Verity!” My belly clenched just imagining Dax standing there in the pouring rain. His hair wet. Clothes clinging to his skin.

  “Verity!” The second time my name left his throat, I weakened. And by the third, I broke. I wanted answers, and I wasn’t going to get them staring at the back of Piper’s front door.

  When I opened it, the reality was a thousand times better than my imagination.

  Dax didn’t attempt to enter Piper’s apartment, and I didn’t step aside to let him in. There was an awning over her door, so the rain wasn’t directly over his head, but Dax was soaked just from walking across the parking lot. His wet shirt clinging to every ridge and ripple of his sculpted arms and torso.

  The sight of him was enough to steal the oxygen from my body. If I wasn’t careful, he would no doubt steal my willpower, too.

  “True,” he whispered.

  I recoiled as if he slapped me. The fresh blast of anger was exactly what I needed. It cleared my mind, opened my lungs. “Don’t you dare call me that anymore. You lost that right.”

  Dax exhaled, roughing those long fingers through his wet hair, clawing at his scalp as if he wanted to peel back his skin and expose the thoughts crowding his mind. “I don’t know what to say,” he finally managed, his throat so tight each word emerged flat, almost strangled.

  “That makes two of us, but apparently you’re the only one who can explain what just happened. Because it’s pretty obvious you’ve left me completely in the dark.”

  “I didn’t mean to. I just…” He looked around, finally realizing he was still standing outside. “Can I come in, or can we go somewhere?”

  “Where, back to your house? Or mine?” A laugh shuddered from my throat. “No. Come in. Piper said we could talk here.”

  I retreated to the couch, but Dax only came far enough to close the door behind him, leaning against it like it was the only thing keeping him upright.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” The question broke free, a desperate whine. I hated the sound of it.

  “Fuck, Verity.” Dax closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. When he opened them again, they shined with regret. “I should have. I
know I should have. But Amelia hasn’t felt like much besides a bad memory in…” He trailed off, sighing heavily.

  “She’s not a bad memory. She’s your wife.”

  “Only on paper.”

  “So, what? What does that mean? It’s on paper. A legal, binding document. A fact. Does what it’s written on makes it less true?”

  “No. Damn it. That’s not what I meant.”

  “Then explain it to me. Because I’m having hard time understanding why you didn’t tell me that you’re married.”

  Staring at him now, I remembered all the intimate moments we shared, swapping stories from our past, making light of the bad times. It had felt mutual, a give-and-take. And it had felt good. Really, really good. But this grenade of truth had blown those memories to bits.

  “Were you…? Were you waiting for her?”

  “No!” It was practically a shout. Dax crossed the room in three strides, dropping onto the couch and pulling me into his lap. I didn’t bother struggling. I felt about as strong as the tissues crumpled inside my fist. “No,” he repeated, his tone subdued. “I gave up on her a long time ago. I swear.”

  “I just…I just don’t understand. Why her?” The woman was awful. What had Dax ever seen in her?

  He was looking at me curiously. “You know Amelia?”

  Shit. No, I was not going there. If I admitted my connection to her, this conversation would become about me. And I didn’t want that. This was about Dax and his deceit.

  “I know that she’s the reason you didn’t want to get involved with me. The reason you’ve refused to date anyone in the music industry.” I took a breath. “She’s the reason you thought we could only be a fling. But you never told me that she was more than just an ex-girlfriend who broke your heart. You never told me you married her. You never told me you were still married to her.”

  I didn’t look at Dax, and he didn’t say anything. Just wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips to my temple. Letting the silence speak for him. It wasn’t enough. “Not telling the truth is as bad as lying.” Now we were both guilty of that.

  “I know.” He gave a somber nod. “I haven’t seen Amelia in years. And yes, I followed her to L.A, but she isn’t why I stayed. Not by a long shot. Did I hope that someday we’d get back together—for a long while, yes. But by the time we met, Amelia was just a bad memory.

  “Verity, I told Travis to file on my behalf the morning after we spent the night together on the rug in front of the fire. That’s why Amelia showed up today—because she was served with divorce papers. And, honestly, I don’t know how the fuck she got past the gatehouse. She’s not on my list, and I sure as hell wouldn’t have told the guard to let her in.”

  I cleared my throat. “It was me. I—I answered your phone. I thought she was Piper.”

  Dax exhaled. “I meant to tell you about her. This morning, that reminder I told you to give me—it was about Amelia. I just didn’t want to talk about her while we were in bed, naked. You have to believe me.”

  His defense rang true to me. I did believe him. But…Could I forgive him? Maybe. But not right now. Not unless he actually followed through with divorcing Amelia. And that was an ultimatum I wasn’t willing to issue. If Dax really meant what he said, he would take that step on his own. Maybe then I could forgive him. Maybe then I would forgive him. But right now, I needed to get my own life sorted out. “Dax, I need you to leave. I need you to leave right now.”

  The muscles beneath his damp clothes became bars of steel. “You don’t mean that, Verity. Tell me you don’t mean that.”

  “I do,” I whispered. “That’s exactly what I need from you right now. I need you to leave me alone.”

  His hands came around my face, holding me as if I were fragile china, looking into my eyes like they would reveal something different than what had come from my mouth. It was painful, but I met Dax’s stare. The intensity between us crackling with all that remained unspoken. And when he bent low to press a kiss on my lips, I kissed him back with desperation, with hunger, with want. With every emotion filling me up and ripping me apart.

  I got lost in our kiss. Lost in the moment. And it felt damned good. Our lips bound, our breaths shared, our hearts pressed chest to chest, their rhythms synching. Two bodies connecting. I could pretend my heart wasn’t hurting from lies. I could pretend my head wasn’t aching from betrayal.

  But I couldn’t pretend forever.

  When Dax pulled back—slowly, regretfully—I knew he felt it, too. Rather than let go, I kept my arms around his neck and leaned toward him, tilting my head forward so that our foreheads touched. Tears spilled onto my cheeks, snaking their way down my skin until they hit Dax’s chest.

  I wanted him to feel the weight of my sadness. I wanted him to drown in my tears.

  Outside the wind raged. Lightning and thunder ripping apart the skies. For once, the weather mirrored exactly how I felt inside. Racked with pain. Heavy and dark and vengeful. Like I wanted to lash out at anyone and everyone in my path.

  A few minutes passed before I could bear to move. I crawled to the other end of the couch. Pressing my back into the pillow, I wrapped my arms around my legs and hugged them into my chest. “Please leave, Dax. You’re not mine. And I’m not yours. You need to go.”

  He groaned, rubbing his hands on his thighs before pushing unsteadily to his feet. He stood there for a moment, like a tree that had been hacked at its base and hadn’t quite decided which way to fall. “I can fix this, Verity.” He pivoted, taking slow steps toward the door. “I can, and I will.” His voice grew stronger with each word, and I envied him that. Strength that came from intention.

  My mistake had been thinking that he could fix me. Only I could do that. And it was about time I did.

  Dax

  I knew I wasn’t alone the moment I stepped inside my front door. There was a lingering scent of perfume in the air that didn’t belong. But no woman had been inside my home since Amelia showed up and chased Verity away nearly two weeks ago.

  Jesus Christ—was Amelia back? Had she broken in this time?

  I wouldn’t put it past her, that was for sure.

  Goddamn it. I thought I’d been perfectly clear, straight to her face. Our relationship ended years ago, and I’d moved on. We both had. It was time to make it official and get a divorce.

  I had told Travis just to give her whatever was necessary to go away, but he was refusing to give Amelia a cent more than she deserved—which was basically nothing.

  Slamming the door behind me, tension pulled at the muscles lining my spine, clawing at my shoulders. Heading downstairs, I noticed that the door to the deck was open.

  The woman standing with her back to me, staring out at the Pacific, wasn’t Amelia.

  I jogged down the remaining steps and went outside. “Aria, what are you doing here?” My family wasn’t flying back to New York until tomorrow, but I hadn’t expected to see them again this trip.

  My sister spun around, throwing herself into my arms. “Don’t sound so thrilled to see me.” Her words were muffled against my chest, and I exhaled a deep breath, realizing that my surprise had come off as irritation.

  “I’m always glad to see you; you know that.” The last time she was here on a school break, I’d given her a key and left her name with the guardhouse as a permanently acceptable visitor. Now I curved my hands around Aria’s shoulders and pushed her away just enough to look into her face. “Do Mom and Dad know you’re here?”

  The way she pressed her lips together, her eyes sliding away from mine, answered my question more effectively than words. I groaned. “Do you want to call them, or should I?”

  Aria’s eyes blazed with anger as she shrugged out of my hold, stepping away from me. “I’m not a kid anymore, Dax. And I’m really tired of being treated like one.”

  As far as I was concerned, seventeen was still a kid. And Aria looked younger than that. She was a tiny little slip of a thing, with waist-length brown hair and deep brown eye
s. Her skin tone was the same as mine, although you would never know it. After so many years in California, I had a perpetual tan, while Aria was pale with olive undertones. I towered over her.

  “Let me guess—you told Mom and Dad about your plan to move to L.A.”

  Her posture deflated a bit. “After meeting Verity, I thought they would understand. Did you know that she got cast in The Show when she wasn’t much older than me? And look at her now.”

  I would have loved to be looking at Verity right now. “Yes. I know all about her experience with The Show.” More that I wanted to discuss with my sister. “And I’m not saying you have to leave. Just that I have too much shit going on to be fielding phone calls from Mom and Dad wondering where you are.”

  Aria was eager to change the subject. “Do you mean Verity? Or should I say Daxity?”

  I groaned, roughing hands through my hair and striding to one of the deck chairs. I slumped into it, stretching my legs out. “We’re not talking about her, or me, right now. Let’s get back to—”

  “Oh, come on. I was with you two, remember? I’ve never seen you so goggle-eyed over anyone. Not even Amelia.”

  “First of all, I’ve never been goggle-eyed in my life. I don’t even know what that means.” My sister started to speak, and I raised my hand. “I don’t want to know, either. And second, don’t talk to me about Amelia. In fact, don’t even mention her name. Ever.”

  I practically spat the words, and didn’t miss the rise of Aria’s eyebrows as she moved away from the railing and sat in the chair beside me, tucking her feet beneath her and perching her elbows on the arms. “Um…What’s going on? Have you seen—”

  “Don’t,” I warned.

  For a moment there was only the crash of the waves and the squall of the gulls. Looking down at the beach below, I imagined Verity as she’d been the other night. Standing at the water’s edge, her bare feet sinking into the sand, froth swirling around her ankles, salt water licking at her calves. Her arms had been wrapped around her chest, as if she was trying to hold herself together and only barely succeeding. I left her alone as long as I could bear it, knowing she needed space to deal with all the emotions that had risen up in her, as relentless as the tide.