by Jamie Knight
It’s the second time she’s used my full name. That means I am to do as she instructs. My eyes look into hers. I expect to see judgment, but instead, there is just love and concern. There are tears in her eyes too. Bubby doesn’t like to see me hurting. That realization crushes my last wall.
“Why would he want a child with a poor girl?!” I howl.
My grandmother’s eyes go wide. “What the fuck?” she snaps. “Amanda, you are not poor. And besides, what does money have to do with anything? Did Christian tell you that you were poor?”
I shake my head. I can’t quite catch my breath. “Jered said it.” My words come out in gasps. “He told me I was too poor to be his wife!” A long moan escapes my lips, causing me to lean forward. My whole body feels torn with my sorrow.
Bubby keeps running her hand over my head, petting my hair with gentle strokes. “I don’t understand, doll. You said this was Christian’s child. What does your ex-boyfriend have to do with anything?”
“Before. He told me that before. When I was pregnant the first time. Then he left me.”
I can feel her body stiffen, and her hands stall. “You were pregnant before? Oh, my child! Why didn’t you tell me?!”
I shake my head wildly. “I couldn’t. I was too ashamed after he left me.”
“Oh, love, you can tell me anything. You know I will help with whatever you need. But Amanda, what happened—”
“I miscarried.”
Silence fills the room. It’s the first time I have ever told anyone or admitted it to myself. Back then, the doctors said that word, it was on the hospital paperwork, but I never said it out loud. To do so felt too real.
Bubby pulls my head into her lap. She holds me close as she can, humming lullabies and combing her fingers through my hair over and over. “Shhh, now, doll,” she murmurs. “I had one too. Before your father came to us. Carrying babies is a hard business. But that was then, and this is now. This little baby that is in your tummy right now? He or she is staying put. Do you understand?”
A bit of peace flows into me from her touch. My breaths come slower, but the tears still fall. “Yes, Bubby.” I nod, moving my head against her lap.
“Okay, now, you need to let Christian know.”
I gasp in a breath and try to sit up, but Bubby pushes me back down with a strength that I didn’t know she had. “I can’t…”
She hushes me. “Christian is not Jered. He may act the same way as that ass, but he deserves the chance and the choice to be in his child’s life.”
“But what if he doesn’t want me to be having his baby?”
Bubby chuckles. “It’s happening, so I don’t think he has much choice in the matter.” She pulls up a strand of my hair and wraps it in a curl around her finger. As I look up at her, she gives me a little smile. “Besides, any man with real sense would know that my granddaughter is a treasure. And my great-grandchild will be just the same.”
I wrap my arms around her bony knees, giving them a little squeeze. “I hope that my child is just like you, Bubby.”
She hums slightly sounding pleased. “I’m sure they will be, doll. I’ll be there to guide them. Now close your eyes. I think a little nap will do you good.”
Holding me close, she continues to stroke my hair. I let the feeling soothe my aching nerves, and my eye lids droop.
“Do I really have to tell Christian?” I mumble.
“Oh yes, child. The father deserves to know. But don’t worry about that now. Honestly, I think he will be delighted. That poor boy needed direction, and now he has it.”
The noises of the ship and the world around us starts to dim as I relax and let the need for sleep take over my senses. My mind focuses on the song Bubby is humming, and the rhythmic feeling of her fingers combing through my hair.
Somewhere between starting to dream and being awake, I feel another presence join us. It’s familiar and yet not. I fight back sleep to figure out who it is but can’t. Just before I drift off, my grandmother starts whispering excitedly.
“Oh, Harrold! You will never guess. Our little grandbaby here is going to be a mother!”
It doesn’t make any sense, but I hear my grandfather saying how pleased he is.
It must be Tuesday.
Chapter Twenty-One - Christian
I pay an insane amount of money to the Alaskan cruise line representative to find out what boat Mandy and her grandmother are on. I pay more to have them stop the boat off the coast of Glacier Bay and allow my helicopter to catch up. I’m not sure what they told the other passengers, perhaps that they are flying someone out for an emergency. But, in any case, I’m on the boat and waiting for Mandy within two days.
Once I get on board, I bribe a maid to let me into Mandy and her grandmother’s shared stateroom. I want to surprise her. I want to make this day one that she will remember for the rest of her life. I have the room dark. The cruise line representative let me know what shows Mandy and her grandmother have tickets for, so I snuck in while they are out.
The new suit I bought for the occasion feels weird. It looks a little weird to me too. Somehow, even though I’m in my thirties, I look more adult now. Maybe because I am expecting a baby. It makes me feel more grown-up.
The doorknob starts to turn. I take a deep breath, stand up, and hold the bouquet of red roses I brought out in front of me. This has to go perfectly.
The lights flip on. She’s there. Standing in front of me with her cheeks slightly pink from the cold air outside. Mandy blinks at me.
“Christian?”
The look of surprise on her face is priceless. Her brown eyes are so wide. Her little pink lips are pulled into an O. When she notices the flowers, a slight blush fills her cheeks. It is at that point that I notice that her hands instinctively go to the little bump at her belly — the bump that is my child.
I’m drawn to her body in a new way. The desire to take it, make it mine, and watch Mandy cum over and over is still there, but there is something new in me…in my heart. Images of us wrapped together fill my mind. Only with my arms around her, protecting her, will I feel complete again. Maybe more complete than I have ever felt before.
My arms reach out for her before I tell them too. I have to hold back; there will be no jumping in now. Our breakup was too bad for this to be immediate. The words I came to say get caught in my throat. Instead, I offer her the flowers again, as if a couple of slightly frozen roses will explain everything.
Mandy doesn’t take the bouquet. Her lips pull into a hard line; a sign of the confusion that she is feeling. She glances over her shoulder to her grandmother who shuffles into the room. “Did you call him, Bubby? I told you I would handle this my own way.”
“I did not!” the old woman snaps.
Bubby looks me over, a slight smile hovering on her face. There is a brightness, an expectation, in her eyes that comforts me and scares me at the same time. The grandmother likes my effort, but she wants to see my follow-through. A moment passes between us. She raises her bleached-blonde eyebrows.
“I expect that the young man is here to tell you that he wants you back. That’s what flowers used to mean in my day — roses especially.” She makes a slight humming sound, indicating that she is expecting me to speak.
Suddenly, I feel like my head is spinning. There is so much here. So many new feelings. I want to say that I am here for what is mine — Mandy, who is my pet, and the baby. But facing the pregnant woman that is carrying my child makes me feel unworthy, all of a sudden.
“I came to give you these.” My voice is a croak. I offer her the flowers again.
Mandy just stares at me. The silence stretches between us. She doesn’t move. Her hands still rest on the little bump that is my child.
“Well, I’ll just take these.” Bubby shuffles between us. She takes the flowers gently from my hands. “I’ll find a vase and put these in some water. Mandy, I think you should tell him everything.” She gives us both a quick look then heads out the door of the small
stateroom.
I drop my hands to my sides, not knowing what to do with them now that the flowers are gone.
Mandy rolls her eyes slightly and sighs. “Look, Christian —”
“I already know.”
“What?!” She steps back slightly. Her knees hit the bed, causing her to lose her balance and sit down. “How could you possibly know? Wait…what do you think you know?” There is heat in her words now.
I wasn’t going to tell her the truth, but now I feel like I have to. Taking a deep breath, I rub my fingers through my hair. “I hacked your phone. Months ago. I’ve been reading your texts and emails. I know about the —”
The look of horror on her face stops my words and drops me to my knees. I’m starting to lose her again. She tries to pull away, but I reach forward and grab her little hands in mine. Still, she struggles.
“I’m sorry.”
“Christian, that is not okay!”
“I know. I know. Please, Mandy, just hear me out.”
My pet takes a deep breath and relaxes. I drop my grip on her hands, but I can’t totally let her go, so I keep my hands on her knees and look up into her face. It’s time to let my truth out.
“It’s what I do with women. I find a pet, hack her phone, use her for a few weeks and then let her go. I don’t date—”
“Feelings are a waste of time,” she mimics the words I have said too often, then sits back, rolling her eyes. “The girl gives, and I take, and that’s the end.”
Every word she repeats feels like a sting on my body. What an ass I was…am. I bunch the fabric of her long sweatshirt into my fists, closing my eyes against the shame I now feel.
“It was different with you,” I whisper. “I swear it was. I mean, it was the same at first, but I found after a few weeks that I didn’t want you out of my life. That sense of longing was too much for me and I didn’t know how to handle that, so I ignored the emotions. I tried to lock them away. I wanted to hold you close and push you away at the same time. After meeting your grandmother, it just got worse. You were making me part of your family. Then there was Jered —”
“What about Jered?” Mandy’s words cut into my rambling.
There’s still anger in her brown eyes, but she isn’t pushing me away. So, that’s something. With a sigh, I let myself drop down to sitting on the floor and turn. With my back to the bed, I lean against it and put my head on her knee. Being next to her, touching her body in any way, feels safe.
“I know you two have history. That bothered me more than I would have liked. It was like he could take you away from me at any moment. The way you acted around him; I knew that there were still feelings between you.”
“Feelings of hate,” Mandy hisses between her teeth. “I can’t stand Jered. He hurt me so badly, Christian. I was…am scared that you are going to do the same thing.” There’s a little hitch in her voice like she’s starting to cry. I wrap my arms around her short legs and put my chin on her knees. I don’t want her to cry, ever. “I thought that you wouldn’t want a…”
“A baby?”
She nods as I glance up to see the tears running down her cheeks. “I thought that you wouldn’t want a baby with a girl like me. A poor girl. We come from such different worlds.”
Seeing her vulnerable is too much. I pull myself up, sit on the bed, and take her in my arms. Her head rests against my chest. I can feel how her body shivers as she sobs. I shush her some, rubbing one hand over her head and hair.
“You and the baby, you are both mine,” I whisper to her. “In my mind, you are both perfect for me. I don’t ever want you to go. These last few weeks without you have been hell.” The sobs causing her body to writhe lesson. “I want you to marry me, Mandy.”
She gasps and pulls back to look up at me. Her eyes are wide with shock. I run a finger under her chin, using my thumb to wipe some of her tears away.
“I’m serious, pet. Please, marry me. Let me be part of your family.”
I can’t resist leaning forward and kissing her soft, pink lips. Some of her tears wet my face, but I don’t care. I’m as close to home as I have been in weeks, maybe more than I have ever been in my life. Mandy is my home.
She grabs one of my hands and places it on the bump of her belly. The taunt feeling to her body gives me chills. There is some connection between my child and me already. Through Mandy’s skin and muscle, I know he or she is there, growing and changing.
I look into Mandy’s damp eyes. She gives me a slight smile. “You already are part of my family, Christian. But yes, I will marry you.”
In that one second, my world is complete. “Oh, thank God,” I whisper, bringing my hands up to run my fingers through her hair, and pull her face to mine. “Thank God, because I cannot live without you, pet.”
Mandy lets out a choked sob. “So, you really want me…and my baby?”
I kiss her again, then pull her head till her nose is buried in my neck. “Our baby, pet. You two give me life. You give me a reason to live. You’re everything to me.” I can’t hold her close enough to me. Having my arms wrapped around Mandy is the only thing I want anymore.
She lets out a little laugh. “So, I’m not just your accountant.”
Her words cause my body to freeze. Sitting back, I take her face in my hands and look deep into her eyes. “I’m sorry I said that, pet, but let me explain. My father is a very bad man. He takes everything that is mine. That night, I was trying to protect you.”
Her mouth drops open as she frowns. “Are you serious?”
I nod. “Dad uses people. And what I didn’t realize was that I was acting the same way.” Gently, I brush my thumbs over her soft lips, taking in every detail of her face. “I’m so sorry, Mandy. I’m cutting him out of my life and trying to change my behavior. I promise it will never happen again.”
My pet smirks at me. “It better not, or I will have to punish you.” She giggles. It’s a sound that eases all the tension in the room.
“Are we okay?” I ask.
“Not quite,” she admits, “but we are getting there.” Mandy grins and I find myself grinning back at her. “We have a lot to talk about, but first, I’ve missed you.”
Gently, with my hand behind her back, I guide her down to the bed. “I missed you more than you could ever imagine. How long do you think your grandmother will be gone?”
She closes her eyes slightly as her head hits the pillow. “Bubby’s smart. She will be gone for the rest of the afternoon.”
After kissing a line up and down her neck — feeling how my touch made her body shiver — I whispered into her ear, “Good. I need to feel you, pet.”
Pulling at the fabric of her sweater, I run my hand onto the warm skin of her belly. The sensation of feeling my child within her is stronger. I take in how the baby bump feels, then let my hand wander up further. Mandy’s breasts are swollen. They are larger than they were before. That sends another little thrill through me.
Pulling at her sweater, I want it to be gone, quickly. The knit fabric pulls up over her head, followed by the t-shirt and sports bra that she had on underneath it. I sit back so I can look over the changes in my pet’s body.
Mandy looks up at me and smiles serenely. It’s a look that I never thought I would see again, and it fills me with so much joy.
“You know that you are beautiful, pet?”
Her smile deepens. “I feel beautiful with you looking at me that way.”
I reach for the waistband of her pants and pull them down, bringing her underwear along with them. Mandy stretches a bit after, opening her legs for me to see her perfect pink pussy. The sight makes my mouth water.
Gently, I brush a finger up her folds, teasing them slightly to open for me. My touch makes Mandy moan, and the sound of her voice sends shivers up and down my spine.
My cock is hard. It’s been hard and straining ever since I lay her down on the bed. Now, seeing her nude, I have to get my pants down. I need to feel her pussy stretched all around me. There i
s no reason to bother with a condom now. We can feel each other in the most intimate way — skin to skin. Slipping a finger inside of her, I can tell that my pet is happy to see me. She is wet, warm and tight — perfectly ready for me to penetrate.
“Why are your pants still on?” she teases, pulling at my shirt and jacket.
I let her pull off my clothing all the while leaning in to kiss her lips over and over. I can’t taste her enough. I can’t be close enough to her. I want her touching me everywhere.
Mandy unzips my jeans. She pulls them and my boxers down, freeing my long, hard cock. It brushes the soft skin of her stomach, leaving a trail of precum behind. She pulls me closer to her, until we flip, and I rest on my hands suspending myself above her.
My dick nudges into her lower lips. They separate for me, and I slip inside of her core. Mandy’s pussy is so hot and wet. Without a condom, I can feel all of her soft walls. She is so tight that she fits like a glove. Her pussy clamps around me so hard that it feels like I will never be able to pull my dick out, but I do. I pull out of her completely, only to thrust back in all the way to my balls.
Her juices are flowing. My shaft is wet from her and the feeling has me straining harder. Every sensation of her pussy has me almost to my limit, but I want to have this moment last. I thrust into her over and over again, feeling all of her slid along my dick. This is the woman that I love. She makes me whole. She makes me a man.
Mandy moans. She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls my head down, so my ear is right by her mouth. I can hear her desperate breaths. Every gasp of hers tickles my ear and makes my body tingle. I love making her feel this good.
Over and over, I push in and pull out. My moves are deliberately slow. I want to be tender this time. I want to lose myself in the feel of her. I want my lovemaking to tell her how I feel.
Below me and around me, Mandy quivers. I can feel her pussy tightening. The friction of its grab becomes harder, milking my dick, and begging for my seed.
“God,” I whisper. “I can’t hold off. I love you so much, Mandy.”