Emerging Temptation: A BWWM Romance Limited Edition Collection

by Peyton Banks

  “I’m not going to have sex with you tonight.” His brows raise as he breathes in deep. “Not that I don’t want to. But, if I’m going to have you, I want to be sober for every minute of it.”

  My shoulders relax, and I lean back in his lap, unsure of how to respond. It’s admirable, attractive even, and despite my spiked libido, I appreciate his dignity. I push my braids out of my face and offer him a gentle smile while attempting to slide off his lap. But he tightens his hold, refusing to let me go.

  “I don’t want to stop kissing you.” He slips his hand back under my shirt. “Touching you.” He strokes my spine, and I shiver. “Even holding you.”

  He tugs me close, and I watch him silently before allowing him to take over me again.

  6

  Zander

  I don’t know when we actually fell asleep, but I open my eyes to Ariya snuggled against my chest on the couch. The flames have now died down to a dull glow, leaving a chill in the air. Not wanting to wake her, I ease myself from under her to stretch and remove the crick in my neck. But she stirs and mutters inaudibly, forcing me to freeze until I’m confident I haven’t disturbed her.

  After successfully breaking away, I peek at my watch and see it’s a little past midnight. I stare down at her sweetly resting and snoring just a bit. Scooping her up in my arms, I carry her up the stairs to her room. The door creaks as I push it open with my foot and make my way inside. I lower her onto the old mattress and swipe a braid out of her face. Her eyes flutter open, and she twists through a yawn.

  “Mm… What time is it?” she whispers while rubbing a finger over her right eyelid.

  I sit beside her. “Almost one o’clock.”

  “When did we pass out?”

  “I don’t know, but I just woke up. You should get back to sleep.” I push off the bed, but she grabs my wrist.

  Sitting upright, she keeps her hold on me. “Where are you going?

  “Back downstairs.”

  Her shoulders slump. “Lay with me.”

  I prepare to protest, but she continues.

  “At least until I fall back to sleep?”

  I swallow then pinch the bridge of my nose. “Sure. Slide over.”

  I kneel to remove my shoes while she peels back the comforter to make room for me. Snuggling in beside her, I guide her to my chest and pull the blanket over us. I adjust myself so that my chin rests gently against her head and close my eyes. It doesn’t take long for the wind brushing past the window and her soft snoring to coax me into a slumber.

  She’s facing away from me, her back and legs uncovered. I check the time to find it’s the crack of dawn. Light bleeds into the room, blinding me a bit. I hadn’t intended on staying with her all night. Yet here we are. Fully clothed, so at least I know we didn’t take it too far. But everything I’ve done has gone further than I ever should have allowed. I blow out a breath, pressing my brows together to calm my nerves. Climbing out of bed, I rush to pick up my boots, holding them to my chest, and I peer down at her. What are you doing? I throw the question around in my head as if the gods will show me some grand sign to help me make sense of it. To give me a reason not to step away. But I find none, and creep out, closing the door behind me.

  The hall is empty, so I tiptoe down the stairs to avoid alerting anyone. I wouldn’t know where to begin to explain why I’m coming out of her room. It’ll be even harder to explain why it will never lead to anything. She’s going to wake up in a little while, and I don’t want to be here when she does.

  I comb my hair out of my face, and my back stiffens when my fingers graze the chain around my neck. Hooking it in my grasp, I trace the links until I’m holding the two silver bands. There’s a dullness in my chest as I glance down at the momentums. I make a fist around them, lifting it to my lips and squeeze my eyes shut. After a deep breath, I drop my hands to my sides and turn to look toward the top of the staircase. Ariya is amazing, and last night was the best one I’ve had in a long time. I should have kept her at a distance and never given in to my desire to touch her. And when she asked me to stay the night, my answer should have been no.

  Instead, I took advantage of the way she made me feel, knowing I have nothing to offer her. We’d never work. She’s a city girl with lively friends and a pressing career. She probably travels the world, living in the moment, taking life by the horns. How could she be content with someone like me? A man married to these mountains and isolation. I’ve tried it all before, and it left me scarred and broken. Maybe this time could be different, Ariya could be different, but I look down at my necklace again and force the thought away. The years aren’t enough to erase the dark moments, a time I never want to face again, a loss I never want to feel again.

  Pushing out a heavy sigh, I gather myself and slip my feet into my boots before walking over to the front door. I open it to peek outside and find that the storm has passed. The snow reaches the top of the porch, some seeping inside, and I curse under my breath. I retreat to where my coat rests on the back of the chair, snag it, then search the small closet that’s built into the underside of the staircase. I find the shovel, slip on my outerwear, and prepare to remove as much snow as I can.

  After a few hours, I stomp back into the house to hydrate and give myself a break. Karen is in the kitchen drinking coffee and pulling the fixings for breakfast out of the fridge. It takes a second for her to realize I’m here, and when she does, she jumps.

  “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” I add, reaching into the icebox for a water bottle.

  “You’re getting to work early, huh?” she asks behind her mug.

  I sigh and crack the seal on my drink. “Yeah, I’m trying to. The station radioed a few minutes ago. The forecast has cleared up for the most part. We’ll still have some snowfall, but not until later in the evening. The plows should be up here soon.” I swallow a mouthful.

  She nods. “The plowers don’t handle the removal process in front of the cabins?

  I frown, unsure of what she means.

  “You’re out there clearing a path, so I’m wondering if renters are responsible for shoveling themselves?”

  “Oh, no. Our staff does it for them. It’s just that I’m here, and it’s sort of a habit for me. Figured I’d get a head start while the snow is still soft.”

  Karen leans against the counter, peering at me inquisitively. “How was your night?”

  Glancing down at my hands, I lift the bottle for another sip. “Uh, it was all right.”

  “You weren’t bored or anything, were you? I know we all went to bed pretty early last night.” She clears her throat and takes another pull from her beverage.

  “Yeah… No, I wasn’t bored. I eventually went to sleep.” I scratch my scalp and chew on the inside of my cheek.

  “Um. Okay. Well, sorry for abandoning you.”

  “It’s fine, really.”

  Footsteps interrupt our brief conversation as the rest of the group make their way downstairs. Jasmine flops on the couch followed by Noah, who lays across her lap on his back with one leg hanging off the top of the sofa. Ian meets us in the kitchen where he kisses Karen on the neck and slides in between us.

  He peeks out the window then down at my damp boots as he turns to face me. “That’s you?” He points over his shoulder.

  I nod and kick the button at the bottom of the trash to discard my empty container. “Yeah, I need to get back on duty. Check in on the rest of my route.”

  Ariya’s furry boots catch the corner of my eye, and my shoulders stiffen, but I pull in a breath and compose myself.

  “Let me grab my coat. Where’s the extra shovels?”

  “Under the stairs.” I lower my gaze when Ariya enters the room.

  Karen straightens her posture, passing her sights between me and her sister.

  “Noah. Get your coat. Zander needs to get back to work, let’s help shovel him out.”

  The words leave his lips, and Ariya stares at me. She’s calm and quiet, but her eyes tell
me she wants to say something. I fully expected her to lash out for me sneaking off while she slept, but she doesn’t. Instead, she breathes and fixes herself a cup of joe. I feign a smile, turning on my heels to head back out into the cool air. When I glance back at the house, I find her watching me from the window.

  We eventually gave up and are now sitting in front of a fire. The sad thing is, I knew it was pointless. It’s impossible to clear that amount of snow, but I needed to do something. I needed a distraction, something to keep me occupied and sadly away from her. She strikes me as a straightforward, all-or-nothing kind of person, and I’m not prepared to explain to her that I’d made a mistake.

  Considering we were out there most of the day, we skipped breakfast and went straight to lunch. Drinks have been passed around, and for the last hour, Karen’s had us playing games. She came prepared with board games and cards and trivia sets.

  “Run me my money,” Noah yells with his hand stretched out.

  Ian moves his avatar ten spaces on the Monopoly board, groaning and counting out the fee owed. With a scowl, he slams the paper currency into Noah’s palm then sits back into the leg of the chair. It’s my turn to go, so I pick up the small cubes and blow on them for luck. I catch Ariya staring at me from her seat on the couch and quickly look away. The dice hit the board, and I move past Go, collecting two hundred dollars.

  Pressing my back into the recliner, I lift a knee and rest my elbow against it while pulling at my bottom lip. I glance in her direction, watching her lean forward to take her turn. A braid falls from behind her ear, resting on her chest as she leans back to shake up the dice. The room slows down. I follow the hair extension over the curve of her breast and up to her collarbone. Flashes of her on my lap, on that very couch while I licked and sucked the spot just above her clavicle overcomes me. I remember the way her skin tasted and the soft moans she made. The board thuds from the drop of the two cubes and snaps me back to reality. Darting my eyes upward, I quickly look away when our gazes meet. It doesn’t stop me from seeing the confusion running through her. She tilts her head with her brows knitted together. I grow restless, my other leg moving in short, jerky motions. My mouth dries out as an emptiness fills my stomach. No matter how hard I try, I can’t keep from looking in her direction.

  I hop up from my seat and stalk toward the kitchen for a drink of water. I gulp it down in mere seconds, refill and repeat the process. I gawk out the window while holding my cup close to my chest, allowing my mind to wander. A throat clears, interrupting my thoughts. Already knowing who it is, I drop my chin and stare at the still liquid in my hand. I knew it was a matter of time until she approached me, and here she is. I hesitate to face her but am surprised it isn’t her, but instead Karen. The tension behind my eyes releases, and I let out a sigh of relief.

  “You okay in here?” she asks while opening the fridge. “You seem a little distracted today.”

  “Yeah… I’m just thinking about all the work I’ll have to do when they finally make it up this way with the plowers.”

  “Why are you in such a rush?” Ariya sneaks out from behind Karen, holding her hand out for the bottle her sister is holding.

  Karen hands it to her and snags another for herself before walking away. All the tension returns, and I roll my neck to work some of it away.

  Ariya glances over her shoulder then step closer. “Why are you acting so weird?” she whispers.

  I press my lips together and pluck the rim of the cup. “I’m not acting—” I say without eye contact.

  “Yes, you are. You’re avoiding me, and I can’t quite understand why.”

  I sigh. “I’m—”

  “Don’t. I know when people are acting funny toward me. You snuck out of my room this morning, have said nothing to me all day, and now you’re in this grand rush to flee.”

  I let her words sink in while I try to figure out what I should say. The last thing I want is to hurt her feelings, and it haunts me that I’ve led her on. Her nostrils flare as she glares at me with her hands on her hips and her plump lips clamped together. Her chest rises and falls with each heavy breath, and I can’t stop my mind from wandering to last night. The motion reminds me of the feel of her breast against me as she drew in oxygen.

  “Look, Zander. I don’t get you. You brush me off when you first get here. Kiss me then push me away only to kiss me again. And now what? You’ve realized you’ve made a mistake?”

  I lower my head.

  She scoffs. “Of course you did. I don’t have time for petty games of cat and mouse. What sense did it make to carry on with me? If you aren’t interested, be upfront and a man about it.”

  “It’s not like that, Ariya. I’m sorry if I led you on, it wasn’t my intention.”

  “But you couldn’t help yourself, right?” she says sternly yet manages to keep her voice down.

  “No. I couldn’t and I know that’s wrong, but it has nothing to do with not being interested.”

  Her brows pull together in a scowl. “What? You’re not making any sense,” she adds with her shoulders bunched up around her ears.

  “I don’t want you to think this has anything to do with you. You’re beautiful and funny—”

  “But?”

  “But it’ll never work.” I lean forward to make sure only she and I are a part of this conversation. “I’m sorry. We’re just too different. It’s just me and my dog—and for a reason. You’re going to go back to the city and back to your life. You’ll forget all about the mountain guy you made out with while you were drunk.” The words fall off my tongue, and I instantly close my eyes, preparing for the blowup building in her.

  She thrusts her head back, confused by my statement, but she doesn’t explode like I expect. Instead, she grabs my wrist and pulls me toward the stairs. I stumble after her, looking over my shoulder to see if our friends are a witness to what’s going on. They’re engrossed in the game, seemingly unaffected by our absence. I guess we can thank the liquor for that.

  We make it around the curve and are just a few inches from in front of her room. She drops my hand and turns to face me. “Don’t try and make this about me being drunk. I was very aware of what was happening, and so were you. You’re acting like I’ve asked you to marry me and be with me forever. I didn’t beg you to kiss me that first night, and last night didn’t have to happen. But it did. You want to blame the alcohol, then I’ll give you that first night because we had been drinking a lot. But yesterday happened because we both wanted it to. You stayed the night with me because we both wanted you to. So you’re going to have to do a lot better than the weak-ass excuse you’re trying to give.”

  “We can’t do this?”

  “You haven’t tried.”

  “Ariya, trust me. We’ll never work out. I’m not the guy for you.”

  “How do you know? Huh? It seems to me that you felt the same vibes I did, and now you’re scared. I wasn’t exactly excited about this arrangement either, but we’re here. And despite how flip-floppy you’ve been, I thought we were at least starting to connect. I thought that maybe the attraction was mutual. But if you’re just down to play games, then own your shit and—”

  My chest heaves as my palms itch and beg to reach out to her. Even in this moment with her angry and fuming, I can’t deny that she’s right. But how can I consider exploring this when there’s so much she doesn’t know about me? I don’t do relationships and deep bonds, because accepting those into my world means there’s room for me to let down another person. Hurt another person. So I stay alone with Trixie. No dates, no getting together with friends and having to explain what I’ve been up to or why I haven’t been around. It’s the reason I said no to Ian’s called about this weekend. I wasn’t supposed to be here and I certainly wasn’t supposed to meet this woman and feel so drawn to her.

  Unable to help myself, I cup her face and crash my mouth into her while walking until her back is against the door. Everything stills when her shoulders relax and she allows herse
lf to melt into me. I scrunch my lids closed, fighting to keep my composure, because I know I don’t deserve her. I break things, and this will be no different.

  7

  Ariya

  Zander leaves me standing in the hall with my breath caught in my throat and confused to all hell. That kiss, as unexpected as it was, has me riled up in a way I’m not sure I appreciate right now. He’s hot. Damn hot, and I so want to ride his face, but the back and forth annoys me. One minute he’s cold and short, the next he’s helpful and sweet, and the third he’s hot and bothered. Rinse and repeat. Before I can say anything, he rushes down the stairs without so much of a glance back.

  I want to go after him, force him to explain himself, but I never get the chance. Karen rounds the corner, catching me standing awkwardly in front of my room. Her brows pinch together in concern as she slows to a halt.

  “What’s going on?” She presses her back into the wall opposite me.

  I huff and wave a hand. “Nothing.”

  She lowers her head to catch my gaze. “Come on, Riri. I know you better than anyone. Talk to me.”

  “Honestly, Karen, it’s nothing. Just ready for this trip to end so I can get back to work.”

  “That’s not what’s bothering you. We’re not going to pretend like you haven’t been on your laptop a few times since we got here.” She chuckles, and when I don’t offer any explanation, she continues. “This is about Zander, isn’t it?”

  I straighten my back and shoot my head in her direction, confused and curious as to how she’d come to that conclusion. They were enthralled in the game, I was sure of it before I dragged him up here. But then I remember who I’m talking to and realize her nosey ass probably just pretended to not be watching us.

  A soft smile adorns her face, and she pushes her shoulders back. “I wasn’t being nosey or trying to see anything—”