Darcy, My Hero
Page 4
When she was still distracted by their kiss, Darcy grasped her hand in his and took her over to her bed, setting her gently back onto the pillows. Before she was sure what was happening, he inched his fingers up her leg, sliding up her skirts as he went, until her long, soft legs were bare before him. Darcy traced a fingertip from the tip of her toe up to the top of the stocking, sending a shiver through her entire body.
Just when she thought she might break apart from the sensations, Darcy kissed along the top of her stockings with sweet, soft kisses. With each kiss, Elizabeth didn’t know what she wanted to happen, but her desire for it grew every time he touched her. When she was quite distracted, Darcy began to slip away her stockings, with a slow pace, so slow it felt like an eternity. As each stocking slid down, he would kiss a path behind it, until he at last reached her ankles once again. Elizabeth tried to speak, she tried to say something sweet and passionate to mimic the emotions he had stirred in her, but all she could say was,
“More, my darling. More.”
Darcy gave her a wicked smile then repeated the process with the second stocking.
“Your wish is my command, sweet Miss Bennet.”
Just the implication that he might give her anything she wanted brought her a surprising sort of pleasure, because he seemed to care only for hers. He wanted her as much as she, so unexpectedly, wanted him.
Elizabeth loved the sound of his passionate moans as he kissed his way back up her thighs, then pulled her in nearer to him so he could at last explore her precious womanhood. His tongue moved expertly from her inner thigh to core, tasting and exploring her in such a way that she thought she might lose control right there in that moment. She did not know what to expect when he introduced herself to him in this way and Darcy had more than proven his desire for her.
When one of his long, strong fingers entered her slowly, at first, she was surprised. But as he began to move in and out of her, drumming a rhythm against her most sensitive place as he did, he provided her with an consuming pleasure that she hoped would last their entire lives. Elizabeth pulled him and kissed him with desire, an all-consuming desire that she felt from her head all the way down to her toes. She tried to kiss Darcy in way that reflected the feelings he was providing her, but was sure she did not even get close.
His fingers continued to explore her innermost depths and she sighed softly, the twists and turns of his fingers sending her spinning off into another world. Lizzy would have cried out louder, but if anyone happened to be walking by, they might call for help and then all would be discovered. It was a concern that should have worried them both more, but they were too entrenched in their desire for one another to even consider the consequences. All they knew was that their kiss gave them life, and should they separate, it might mean the very end of them.
It only made Elizabeth more dizzy to see the way that Darcy desired her; she never imagined that a man wanting her could be such an intoxicating thing. But it was, and with every kiss, she was more lost in their newly-discovered need. Elizabeth was lost in the thoughts and feeling she was experiencing when Darcy slid a second masculine fingers inside of her. The combination of this sensation with his perfect kisses, drew her over the edge of pleasure. All at once, it was like she was drunk on champagne, her head filled the bubbles she’d seen in the beautiful glasses of it. His fingers played a symphony inside of her, one that only reached its crescendo when Darcy gently squeezed and massaged her breast. It was just enough to drive her over the precipice of pleasure, her whole body shivering through the end of it. Even before it was over, she missed the closeness she felt with Darcy as he touched her.
Elizabeth collapsed back down on to the pillows, her body exhausted from the joy he had brought her. Darcy lay down beside her and kissed her softly on the lips over and over again. She wasn’t sure how many more of his perfect kisses her body could handle; he’d already pushed her over the edge once.
“If you keep kissing me like that, Mr. Darcy, I may never allow you to leave my bed,” Elizabeth said, tracing the line of his jaw with her fingertips.
“I would stay here forever, Miss Bennet, but we both know we will not be along for much longer. Mr. and Mrs. Collins shall be home at any moment. But perhaps there is still enough time for you to tell me whether or not you have considered my proposal.”
Lizzy turned on to her side to face Darcy and examined his expression for signs of deceit. She still did not know his reasons for hurting her dear sister so, nor did she understand what might motivate him to behave the way he had in the past when he was clearly a good and decent man under it all. Even as she looked at him, his passion for her clouding his eyes, she could not find any expression of falsity.
And yet… she did not know if she was ready to forgive him. Not yet. Not when there was still so much to answer for.
“I can not give you my answer yet, sir. The past is still a painful wound and until it heals, I see no way for us to move forward. You must somehow convince me that your heart is true, that your aim is true. If you can do that, we can discuss a marriage.”
The sound of a carriage began to echo from a distance. It was faint, but enough to send Darcy to his feet and searching for his jacket.
“That is the sound of my departure, Miss Bennet. But before I go, I can promise you this. I will do everything in my power to show you I have atoned for my mistakes, whatever it takes. I love you, Miss Bennet, and I will prove it to you.”
As Darcy ran from the room and down to his horse, Elizabeth dashed to the window to watch him ride away. He disappeared into the trees toward Rosings, knowing that Collins and Charlotte would enter from the other way. She had just enough time to get dressed again herself, and the whole time she did, she remembered every touch of the gentleman’s fingers.
What have I gotten myself into, she thought, slipping back into stocking. Have I really become entangled with Fitzwilliam Darcy?
Mr. Darcy had only just left Hunsford, departing moments before Charlotte and Collins returned, which did well to distract Lizzy from what transpired in her room only an hour before. She tried to engage herself in conversation with Charlotte, or listen as Collins prattled on about Rosings and Lady Catherine De Bourgh, but she could not think of anything but Darcy. It was almost time for supper but as the hour drew nearer, she found herself quite restless. Instead, she walked outside into Collins’s gardens and hoped to find inspiration to solve her problem among them.
Elizabeth breathed in the smell of the flowers and the grass and the dirt where Collins planted his vegetables. The fresh air did offer her a sense of comfort, but as she expected, there was no answer to Mr. Darcy’s proposal hidden amongst the carrots. She was just about to walk out of the gate and into the surrounding meadow when the door opened and Charlotte’s voice called out to her.
“Dear Lizzy, what are you doing? The table is set and it is almost time to dine! Certainly, you do not intend to go for a walk now?”
Charlotte walked down the path after Elizabeth and met her at the end of the path. Lizzy took her friend’s hand in her own.
“Oh, Charlotte. I have so much to tell you and yet I can tell you none of it. Not now. And perhaps you would not believe me if I told you.”
Charlotte gesture for Elizabeth to join her on the bench that sat at the edge of Collins’s garden. When they sat down, Elizabeth took a deep breath.
“It involves Mr. Darcy and a surprising offer I received from him only this afternoon.”
Charlotte leaned forward in curiosity, though she was rarely the type to express excitement over gossip. Even so, Lizzy could see her friend was ready to hear the story.
“It began this afternoon with a knock on my door…”
13
A Letter Arrives
Elizabeth told Charlotte everything that had transpired with Mr. Darcy, while leaving out the portions that would shock her friend into an early grave. By the time she finished, the sun had almost set and Lizzy was quite sure that Collins was fussing
over his dinner becoming cold. Yet, Charlotte sat next to her friend in utter shock, as if she might stay in that same seat forever, staring at her friend.
“Charlotte? Did you hear what I said? I cannot tell.”
Finally, Charlotte reached out and took Elizabeth’s hand in her own, holding it tight and patting it gently at the same time.
“Lizzy, dear, this is quite the turn in events, is it not? It was only a few days ago you were telling everyone you met that you believed Mr. Darcy to be a scoundrel and a brute. And now you tell me he loves you? What might have turned his heart so in such little time?”
Elizabeth wished she knew the answer to that question herself. In truth, she was still in a state of surprise at Mr. Darcy’s confession. She was even more shocked at what had transpired between them but she was afraid if she lingered on the memory, she might begin to blush. Even the slightest blush and Charlotte would know that something was amiss; they had been friends for many years and the only person who knew Lizzy as well as her sisters was Charlotte.
“I do not understand what changed, Charlotte, but I know that I must convince him to explain to me his motivations. He certainly can not be interesting in marrying me for my family name, nor our vast wealth, so is it possible that he might truly love me? After all of the terrible things he said?”
Lizzy stood up and began to pace back and forth across the garden, her nerves almost causing her to shiver in frustration. What did Mr. Darcy want?
She had to know.
“Charlotte, I’m sorry, but please dine without me. I must go to Rosings and speak with Mr. Darcy before I go mad.”
“But Elizabeth, it’s almost dark! You should not be walking through the woods alone at such an hour.”
Lizzy touched her friend’s face with the utmost affection. There were few who cared so deeply about her safety and she adored Charlotte all the more for it. But she could not grant her dearest friend’s wish.
“I am sorry, Charlotte. But I must get my cloak and go to Rosings. I can not wait until morning.”
Elizabeth turned to walk back into the house to retrieve her cloak when the sound of a rider approaching drew not only her attention, but the attention of the entire household. Even Collins joined them outside to see who the sudden arrival might be. When the rider jumped down from his horse and walked through the Hunsford garden gate, Collins clapped his hands together in joy.
“Oh, a letter from Rosings! It must be communication from Lady Catherine de Bourgh!”
But the rider shook his head then turned to Elizabeth.
“Apologies Mr. Collins, but I arrive with a letter for Miss Bennet from Mr. Darcy. He said it was of the utmost importance and must be delivered immediately.”
As the rider handed Lizzy the letter, everyone turned to stare at her in surprise. Her hand shook as she tucked the letter into her skirt pocket and nodded her thanks to the rider.
“My thanks to you, sir. Are you to wait until I read it?”
He shook his head.
“I must deliver another correspondence from Lady de Bourgh to the apothecary in town before he closes for the evening. Would you like me to return tomorrow to pick up your response?”
Collins hunched over and looked at Elizabeth with a combination of confusion and a mild amount of distrust. Neither became him, as they made his forehead wrinkle and his already pinched nose even more defined. Lizzy tried not to look at him, instead focusing all of her intention on the rider.
“No, sir. But I thank you for the offer. If I have any response to the gentleman, I shall deliver it to him myself”
The rider nodded and made his way back to the horse, but even his absence was not enough to end the attention his arrival had brought to Lizzy. She could almost feel Collins’s eyes boring a hole through the core of her. Rather than allow the uncomfortable emotions in the air to linger, without another word, Elizabeth turned on her heel and ran back into the house. Once she was in the safety of her room, she opened Mr. Darcy’s letter…
And she could not believe what she saw.
Dearest Miss Bennet, the letter began, which sent her heart racing with such a sudden urgency, she thought she might faint dead away. He started by explaining all of the mistakes he made in regards to her sister Jane’s attempt to know Mr. Bingley better, and he even apologized for the way in which he interfered in the progress of their relationship. But then his tone changed in such a way that it made Lizzy feel faint all over again.
I know that my behavior brought you much pain, and perhaps what happened between us earlier has only inspired further confusion, which I would never wish upon you in two lifetimes. I am not accustomed to sharing my feelings with anyone, least of all a young lady who brings me so much joy. In truth, I have never been in such a situation before. What I mean is, I have never loved anyone as truly and as wholly as I love you.
I am sure that this is confusing for you, and I wish to assure that it is just as strange and new to me. I have spent many a year worrying exclusively about protecting my dear sister Georgiana, and focusing on the care of Pemberley. Until I met you, I never considered that there could be a woman that would distract me from these duties. My intended marriage to Anne de Bourgh was simply one of convenience, not one of love. But now, I cannot imagine marrying for anything but love.
My dear Miss Bennet, I hope you take this letter in the spirit in which it was intended: one of care, affection, and the deepest fondness. If you truly cannot forgive me for my transgressions, I understand, and with a word from you, I shall leave you alone forever. But if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I shall spend the rest of my life doing everything I am able to show you that you made the right choice.
Regardless of your answer, I ask that you respond with haste, Miss Bennet, for I fear my heart could not take the absence of your reply.
With affection,
F. Darcy
* * *
Elizabeth read and re-read the letter at least five times before folding it up again with care and tucking it back into her skirt. She knew that she should write him a response right away, but she could not make her legs stay anchored to the floor. Before she even became aware of what she was doing, Lizzy was taking her cloak and wrapping it around her shoulders, then running down the stairs with such haste, she almost slipped and fell. She hoped she might make it out of the door without being seen, but as she worried, Charlotte was able to spot her from her chair at the dining table.
“Elizabeth! Where are you going? I thought you were staying in tonight!”
Lizzy barely paused as she threw the door open and took a focused step into the night.
“I cannot, Charlotte. I must go see him tonight before I lose my nerve to speak to him.”
Collins leapt to his feet with such speed, he knocked his chair back onto the floor. Elizabeth could not recall ever seeing the rotund pastor move so quickly.
“Now, cousin Elizabeth, I must insist that you do not go running off to Rosings at this hour. Lady Catherine de Bourgh will find it most improper. You may even disturb her rest. No; you must stay here. I insist.”
Lizzy kept a smile on her face, though she found herself feeling less than charitable toward Mr. Collins.
“As I am sure you remember, Mr. Collins, I am not your bride, so I am sorry to say I will not take orders from you. Though I am, of course, grateful for your hospitality. I shall return before long. And I think your time would be better spent eating your supper before it grows cold.”
Elizabeth did not linger to hear Collins response, as she suspected it would not be respectful, nor befitting a man in his position. Instead, she ran out into the night, hoping the lights from Rosings would guide her way...
Lizzy did not make far into the darkness of the woods between Hunsford and Rosings before she realized she might have made a rash decision. She could not see light in either direction and she was not even sure how to get to the village from where she stood. With a frustrated sigh, Elizabeth screamed out,
“CURSES!”
She did not expect to hear any kind of response except the rustling of the trees. Instead, a humored voice from very near her called back,
“Is that any way for a proper young lady to speak?”
From the dark of the wood, Mr. Darcy appeared, leading his horse behind him. Elizabeth knew there was much to say but at that moment, she felt enraptured by his handsome figure as it strided toward her. He seemed aware of her discomfort, but rather than shy away from Lizzy, he only stepped closer. When he stopped in front of her, she felt as if the entire woods lit up around him. The darkness simply disappeared.
“Apologies, Mr. Darcy. But as you might have deduced, I became a bit lost in the trees.”
He patted his horse gently and smiled down at the ground.
“I had, indeed, deduced that, Miss Bennet. Still, the question is, what were you doing out here?”
She took his letter from her pocket and lifted it to where he could see it, but kept it just out of his reach. Mr. Darcy nodded calmly, but Elizabeth could see in his eyes that he was pleased.
“When I said I was anxious to hear from you, I did not mean for you to go running out into the night and subject yourself to potential harm on my behalf.”
Elizabeth tucked the letter back into her pocket. Even from a few paces away, she could feel the tension between them, building with every breath she took. She wanted to close the space that separated them, but she also did not wish to be any more improper than she had already been in his presence. Instead, she looked all around them, in an attempt to make it clear she intended to leave.