I walked back to my flat via the riverfront to catch any kind of non-existent breeze I possibly could to cool me down, which meant I passed my terrace on the way to enter the building instead of coming round the back. It was in this way that I found Lir sitting on one of my deck chairs, waiting for me.
His eyes followed my every move as my footsteps slowed to a stop in front of him.
I pulled up my sunglasses, wiping my forehead in the process. “…what are you doing here?” I asked, entirely unsure about how to feel.
Lir immediately stood up and leaned over the railing, holding out a hand for my shopping. I didn’t give it to him. “I want to apologise,” he said, a very sorry expression colouring his face. “Of course I want to apologise. I’ve been awful lately.”
And, just like that, I exhaled all the stress and negative energy that had been bundled up inside me. Lir wasn’t a bad person. He wasn’t unreasonably jealous or violent or a murderer or anything. He was just an ordinary guy, even though he was anything but ordinary to me.
I handed over my shopping bags. Lir’s fingertips brushed mine as he took them from me, a gentle, deliberate motion that set my cheeks blazing. “I’m sorry,” he said again, eyes wide and lovely and genuinely apologetic. “I really am.”
“I believe you,” I replied, barely able to keep hold of his gaze without crying. God, I was so stupid. I’d been overreacting all on my own, working myself up until I could barely function any more. “You can make it up to me by throwing together some mojitos. There’s ice in the freezer. I’m going to wash off in the shower first.”
Lir beamed at me. His smile was so infectious I had my own enormous one plastered to my face as I clambered over the railing in lieu of using the front door, Lir laughing heartily at my ungainly landing on the other side.
“Mojitos, then,” he said when I was safely back on my feet. “Want me to put the shopping away?”
“Obviously. I’ll just be ten minutes.”
By the time I’d washed, braided back my hair, slathered on sun tan lotion and frantically searched for my favourite blue bikini, Lir was back lounging topless on the terrace with a mojito in hand. He’d brought out my wireless speaker, too, which filled the air with Latin American pop from the late nineties.
I raised an eyebrow at Lir, though he couldn’t see it through my sunglasses. “Did you search through my iTunes again to see what I’ve been listening to?”
He gave me a sly smile. “Maybe. To be honest I could have put any kind of nineties crap on and you’d have liked it.”
“That’s so insulting,” I said, fake affronted. “I’ll have you know I have impeccable taste in music.”
“Sure thing. Now sit down and drink your damn mojito before all the ice melts.”
It was an order I was only too happy to follow.
For a while all we did was listen to music and talk about nothing in particular and drink, Lir getting up to fill our glasses every time we finished our cocktails. We basked in the sun, and for a moment I wondered if I was mad for not renewing the lease. But I was no longer a student; my landlord was going to increase the rent and there was no way I could afford paying council tax, anyway. And if I was going to say goodbye to the place…
It may as well have been like this.
“How was your final exam?” I asked Lir an hour later, sucking on a piece of ice as I turned onto my front and unlaced my bikini top so my back wouldn’t get tan lines. He lifted his own sunglasses and sat up, an incredulous look on his face.
“You really going to ask me a question like that when you’re undressing in front of me?”
“Yes,” I replied, grinning at his comment. “And you’re going to answer.”
“It was good. The end. Do you think people walking along the riverfront would see us if we –”
“Lir we are not having sex on the terrace.”
“It would make for a pretty interesting show for anyone who saw us,” he chuckled, sauntering over to my sun lounger and pushing me to move a couple of inches so he could sit by my side. Because I was lying on my front I found it next to impossible to crane my neck around to look at him.
“I’m not turning back over just to look at you,” I insisted, resolutely keeping my gaze in front of me. “You just want me to – ah!”
Lir rolled me onto my side so that he could lie beside me, pressing his body against mine so neither of us fell off the sun lounger. A foolish, playful grin danced on his lips as he slid his hand between us to grab my bikini top and remove it entirely, tossing it onto the floor with no regard for how I was supposed to get it back whilst retaining any dignity.
I clucked my tongue. “This is very inappropriate behaviour, Mister Murphy.”
“Oh, use your teacher voice on me again, Doctor Ferguson. Tell me off.”
I kissed him instead, giggling until his tongue found its way into my mouth and we grew too distracted to speak. Every inch of us was hot and slippery from the heat of the sun and the lotion rubbed into our skin, and when we finally pulled away just enough to catch our breath Lir had what must have been the most insistent hard-on in the world pressed against my thigh.
“Can’t we…?” he whispered, all puppy-dog eyes and innocent eagerness.
At this point I was very, very close to giving in. But there were still some questions I wanted to ask. I kissed him softly, then said, “How did your training go in Loch Lomond?”
“Do we really need to talk about that right now?” Lir replied, making a face. “Because it went horribly, and my dick’s shrinking merely thinking about –”
“Okay, okay, I get the picture,” I cut in, forcing down a laugh at his humorous reply. “Will you be okay for the competition?”
“You and I both know I’m better than anyone on the team.” There wasn’t an ounce of arrogance in Lir’s answer; it was simply the truth. “Why are you asking me that?”
“Just, because…” I filtered through my rum-fuzzed brain for the right words. “Well, I decided not to renew my lease.”
A raised eyebrow. “Where are you going to live instead?”
“I was…going to travel, for a few weeks at least. And then work it out. Talk about procrastinating, but –”
“Travel where?” An immediate glint of interest lit up Lir’s eyes, and I knew then and there what his answer would be.
“Around the west coast and the Highlands,” I replied. “A road trip. I know Scotland hasn’t exactly been the safest place these days but Glasgow is absolutely killing me. I need out. And I wanted to ask you to come with me – a celebration for me finishing my thesis and your exams ending. And presumably smashing this competition.” I smiled softly, tracing a finger down Lir’s arm to his hand. “And for your birthday. I mean, I know you like to keep your weekends to yourself but I thought that, maybe, you’d want to –”
“Grace.” My name hung between us, full of meaning. Lir’s hand wrapped around mine. “I’d love to. That sounds bloody great. You know I’ve been a bit of a mess lately. The city’s suffocating me as much as it is you…you’re just better at hiding it, clearly.”
Lir really was looking more feral than normal. Hungry. Sleep-deprived. There were dark shadows beneath his eyes that hadn’t been there when we met. “I’m better at hiding a lot of things,” I said, which was a sad truth I was determined to change. I wanted to be as honest as Lir was being right now, always.
“I’m sorry I didn’t want you to come to Loch Lomond. I was jealous of Josh,” he admitted a few moments later. “It was stupid. I know you don’t have any feelings for him. And if I’d known my training wasn’t going to go well, anyway, then I’d definitely have –”
My lips on his once more cut off Lir’s apology. I didn’t need to hear it. “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself. Just win this competition and we can run off for the rest of May.”
“Or forever.”
It was then I realised I truly didn’t care about his odd behaviour over the past few days – t
he lack of sleep, the sharpened teeth, the mad bout of jealousy – nor the coincidences surrounding the attacks. That’s all they were, after all: coincidences.
If Lir wanted to run off for forever I’d gladly follow him.
But we could start with three weeks on the road.
Chapter Twenty-One
The last time I’d been in Glasgow University Union I was stalking Lir. This time I was in the union because he’d invited me.
How times had changed.
I put some effort into my appearance, curling my hair and putting on pretty, delicate make-up to complement the white sundress I was wearing – it had been a very hot day so far and the dress was the airiest piece of clothing I owned. Even now that the sun was setting the heat didn’t seem to be dissipating all that much.
Several of the guys sitting in the beer garden openly stared at me as I walked past them; one of them even wolf-whistled. Normally such behaviour made me wildly uncomfortable. Because I was meeting Lir I didn’t care.
A barrage of shouting, laughter and general revelry met my ears when I opened the door to the bar, and I wasn’t surprised to recognise many of the louder students in the bar as members of the swim team. Glasgow had, of course, beaten their opponents (I couldn’t remember which university they were from), with Lir in particular winning all of his races by a considerable margin. It filled me with pride to be the girlfriend of the team’s most talented member, and that he wanted me to celebrate with him.
Then we’d be on the road in a few days, and it would be just the two of us with zero responsibilities for weeks. No worries, no weekends apart, no days where Lir had to lie about where he’d been or get jealous over Josh.
Just the two of us, together.
As I wandered through the crowded bar I struggled to locate Lir. He’d messaged me to say he was sitting near the back but I could hardly see through the throng of people, but then I noticed someone else sitting in a booth who I was decidedly happy to see.
David.
I beamed at him when he, in turn, noticed me, and when David waved me over I eagerly complied. “Hey, stranger,” I said, noting that I didn’t recognise any of the people David was sitting with. Friends from outside of his degree, clearly.
“It’s been a while, Grace,” David replied, a small but genuine smile on his face. “How are you? Are you…still seeing Dylan?”
“I’m great now that my thesis is done. And…yeah, I am,” I added on, feeling a little guilty even though I had nothing to be guilty about. “Things are going well. And how about you? Do you have any injuries left from the attack?”
David looked good. His hair had been cut, and he was wearing his contacts, and all in all he absolutely did not look like he’d spent two weeks in hospital. But a shadow crossed over his face at the question nonetheless, and I immediately regretted asking it.
“One of my ribs is still healing,” he said gloomily, “and there’s something up with my left knee that feels kind of permanent.” A pause. David turned his head around the room as if looking for someone. “Is Dylan here?” he asked. “Or are you meeting someone else?”
“Um, L-Dylan. The swim team won all their races today so they’re celebrating.”
David’s face darkened even more. Does he still like me the way he did before? I wondered, unsettled by his expression. Or does he not like Lir? But Lir said they got on well enough…
“Actually, I was hoping to talk to you about that night in Millport, Grace,” David said, motioning for his friend to get up so he could slide out of the booth. “Is it okay if we –”
But someone bashed into me before David finished his sentence, pushing me against the table so heavily all the air was knocked out of my lungs.
“Oh, excuse me, love!” a male, Irish-accented voice said, a pair of hands helping me back to me feet and turning me around in the process. The student in question was tall and well-built, with closely cropped, dark hair and ruddy cheeks. He raised his eyebrows when he took me in, gaze not-so-subtly lingering on the neckline of my dress before creeping back to my face. He grinned. “Let me buy you a drink as an apology.”
“No, it’s okay,” I mumbled, glancing at David who had stood up to help me, an outraged expression on his face. “I’m with my friend, so –”
“Don’t be ridiculous!” the stranger cut in, throwing an arm around my shoulders and steering me towards the bar before I could say a word in my defence. “I’m Cian, by the way. And you are…?”
“My girlfriend.”
“Lir!” I cried, delighted and beyond relieved to see him, though his expression was mutinous. He grabbed my hand and pulled me away from Cian. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
“Sorry,” he said, kissing me softly. “I was in the bathroom. You look gorgeous.”
I flushed at the compliment. “Thank you. And congrats on today! What are you drinking? I’ll –”
“I already got you a drink,” Lir said, smile not quite covering his obvious anger. “It’s back at the table.”
“Does your girlfriend have a name, Lir?” Cian asked, interrupting our conversation. He was still eyeing me with an interest that I didn’t like at all. But then I realised something.
He called Lir by his name.
“Grace,” I said, answering Cian’s question. I glanced at Lir. “Do the two of you know each other?”
“We go way back!” the Irish man exclaimed, thumping Lir’s shoulder as he spoke. It was clear from Lir’s face that he didn’t appreciate this at all. “We were next door neighbours before he moved away from Bundoran.”
Oh.
“Come on, Grace,” Lir said, a gentle hand on my back directing me towards the table a couple of his teammates were sitting at. “I don’t want someone else taking our seats.”
But Cian did not get the message that he was unwelcome. He followed us to the table, squeezing himself in beside us with an oblivious grin on his face. “Still can’t believe I met you today after all these years,” he said. “And to think we’re both swimmers! He absolutely thrashed as, Grace. Man’s a monster.”
I flinched at the word.
“He really is something,” one of Lir’s teammates said, before turning to his friend and asking if he wanted a smoke. When the two of them left Cian spread himself out in the space they left.
“Ah, that’s better. Hey, John, grab me a cider, will you?” he called out to a red-haired man who was queueing at the bar. He gave Cian a thumbs up in acknowledgement.
“I was kind of hoping to spend some time alone with Grace,” Lir told his friend. He was making no effort to hide his displeasure at Cian’s presence, though now I knew they were childhood friends I desperately wanted him to stay.
“It’s fine,” I smiled, squeezing Lir’s hand. “It’s hardly like we were gonna be left alone in here, were we? Your whole team is here. Let’s just have some drinks together for a while.”
Cian slapped his hands together. “A girl after my own heart! So how have you been, Lir? You’re like a ghost on social media…”
After a few minutes of general conversation Lir finally seemed to relax. He began to smile and, when Cian cracked a joke, he even laughed. It was nice to see him talking to someone that wasn’t me. Other than Max and the occasional person on his degree course I’d never seen him talk to anyone. It was reassuring to know that Lir actually existed outside of the bubble we put around ourselves, though it reminded me that I was just as bad, lately, at talking to other people.
I’d been avoiding Louisa’s calls and messages for weeks now.
“God, this piss-poor excuse for whisky is flowing straight through me,” Lir said half an hour later, stretching his arms above his head before standing up. “I won’t be long. Don’t go talking about me while I’m gone.”
He smiled when he said this, though there was a warning in his eyes that I found alarming. But it wasn’t directed at me; it was aimed at Cian.
His friend sipped his drink without a care in the world
. When Lir was well and truly out of sight he sidled up beside me until his arm grazed mine. “So,” he drawled, a smirk on his face that disgusted me. “How long have you been going out with Lir, then? The guy was so fucking weird as a kid I thought for sure he’d be in a psych ward by now, especially after everything that happened to him.”
“What happened to him?” I asked immediately, forgetting my dislike of the man in my haste to learn more about Lir. Though I’d decided I could wait until he told me about his childhood himself, being handed an opportunity like this to find out about him from someone who actually knew him wasn’t something I was about to pass up.
Cian stared at me in disbelief. “You mean you don’t know?”
“I…know what?”
“Well, it’s only right that you know what you’ve let yourself in for,” he said, far too happy about this prospect than seemed appropriate. His arm crawled over my shoulders to pull me closer, squeezing me against his chest. My heart hurt, and when I breathed in it seemed as if no air filled my lungs, and all I wanted to do was push Cian away.
But I wanted to know. I needed to know.
“What do you mean, then?” I asked, keeping my face politely curious. “What happened to Lir as a child?”
Cian bend his head until his lips were right by my ear. “His parents offed themselves when he was, like, four,” he murmured. “Filled their pockets with rocks and walked straight into the sea.”
Oh my god.
“Lir was left alone on the beach watching them do it with no clue what was going on,” Cian continued, in a tone of voice that suggested he was reciting the latest plot of a television show he liked rather than someone’s real life. “It was all anyone talked about for years in Bundoran – the poor, sick Murphys and the son they left behind. It was when his aunt took him in that I became his neighbour. Could tell he wasn’t right from the moment I met him.”
I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t get my brain to process what I’d just heard. Even when Cian’s hand squeezed my shoulder I didn’t have the wits to claw my way out of his grasp.
The Boy from the Sea Page 14