by Rina Kent
So every day, I stand in front of the closed door like a fucking statue. I’m too cowardly to go inside and be assaulted by her memories. No amount of punching managed to purge this ache from my system.
I doubt it ever will.
With a sigh, I turn around and head to the front lobby of Le Salon.
Kyle is saying his goodbyes to Shadow, Scar, and Flame. His dominant hand is bandaged, and he might well never use it again. But that didn’t stop him from wanting to leave. He has friends in the Russian mafia in New York, and he intends to hang around them for a while.
I refused to talk to him since that night. He came around and apologised a million times, but I didn’t even look at him. I was so mad and disappointed in him. More so because he wanted to hurt Elle than the whole betrayal. The others were more mad about the betrayal and punched him a few times as a payback – while he was still injured – before they forgave him. It was too bloody and violent, but I didn’t stop them. He holds responsibility for what he did.
Over the last few days, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I did neglect him since I began focusing on detoxing from Omega. He might be an outgoing person, but Kyle has always been lonely. He looked up to me for everything, but I thought that he grew up and didn’t need my guidance anymore.
Apparently, I was wrong. And I hold responsibility for it. If Scar didn’t stop him from committing suicide, I would’ve never forgiven myself.
That’s why I put in a word for him with Nikolai. He’s to treat Kyle how he’d treat me.
“Remember, there’s one rule, Kylie: Stay alive.” Scar ruffles his hair.
His face is all bruised with a galaxy of fading blue and yellow from how much they punched him. Flame enjoyed punching him the most, even though I secretly think he knew all about Kyle’s plan. He has a way of knowing about everything and keeping it to himself.
Kyle groans and swats Scar’s hand away. “Stop it. I’m not a kid.”
“You certainly were the other night,” Shadow mocks. “You drove me up the window.”
“It’s up the wall, not the window.” Flame blows nicotine in Shadow’s face.
“Same thing.”
A small rustle comes from my side. Mist. She stands shoulder to shoulder with me and crosses her arms under her chest. “Why are you hiding?”
“What are you doing here?” I shoot back. “Shouldn’t you be stalking Hawk?”
A gloom darkens the light colour of her eyes and they fill with deep sadness and hurt. “It’s better if I don’t.” The emotions flee as soon as they came. “Are you still avoiding Elle?”
“I’m not.” I grit out. “It’s for her best interest. You know that.”
“She has the right to decide what’s in her best interest, Ghost. She’s an adult, not a kid.”
I narrow my eyes. “Since when do you take her side?”
“Since we’re in the same boat.” She points a finger at my chest. “Don’t repeat me and Hawk, Ghost. It’s not fun.”
She readjusts her hair, and for once, it doesn’t bring the image of blood.
Mist gives me another look over and walks towards the others who are teasing Kyle.
I release a breath and follow her. All chatter stops abruptly. Kyle’s face contorts and he fidgets. Fuck. I haven’t seen him fidget since he was a child.
I might be still mad at him, but he’ll always be my son.
Nothing will change that.
My shoulders relax and I offer him a fatherly look. “Call me when you need a drink or if the Russians bully you. I’ll teach them a lesson.”
Shadow and Mist smile. Flame continues smoking, and Scar nudges me.
Kyle’s wide grin almost splits his face over. “Will do, Godfather!”
Shadow finds me when I’m pouring myself a drink in Mist’s office. Since I don’t sleep in the safe house anymore, I’m sharing the sofas with Flame. I can tell he loves it by the scowls he gives me every now and again.
“Now that Kyle left, we’re all stuck with the old hag as the only entertainment.” Shadow grabs a glass and chugs half of it down then sits beside me. “Where is she anyway?”
“She still needs some time with the Omega withdrawal.” I down a shot of scotch. Alcohol has become like water now. No matter how much I drink, it just doesn’t wash away the memories or the heartache.
Silence falls in the office, except for the clinking of glass against glass as either Shadow or I pour more alcohol. Misery does love bloody company.
“Hades called,” I say after a while.
“Let me guess.” Shadow runs a hand through his already dishevelled hair. “He hates that you twisted his hand to free Hawk.”
“Something like that.” I twirl the drink in my hand. “He’s sending someone to supervise us.”
Shadow pauses with the drink halfway to his mouth. “Who is it?”
“He didn’t say, trying to put us on edge, I’m sure. But Celeste gave me a tip.”
“If it’s one of the second generation, then he must be getting stupid.” Shadow huffs. “We trained those losers.”
“No. It’s not the second generation.”
“One of the guards?”
I shake my head. “One of his partners.”
“Bloody hell.” Shadow’s lips part. “I thought they only existed to share the profit and never show their heads.”
“That’s what I thought, too.” I swallow the burning shot. “But apparently he’s playing a different game.”
The Pit’s board – if it can be called that – has always been filled with international rich people as sick as Hades. They’re stockholders who play from behind curtains while Hades stays at the forefront. Owen, the head of this mafia business, is a small fish amongst them. That says something about how fucked up the rest are.
I’m sure Team Zero and the second generation assassins killed their political enemies and everything that hindered them. We’re all their puppets as long as they pay Hades the right price.
They never bothered with the technicalities, so the fact that one of them is coming here is fucking new.
“Did Celeste mention a name?”
I blink at Flame’s voice. He’s sitting opposite me, a cigarette hanging from his mouth. His dark ginger hair isn’t covered by the hoodie and falls haphazardly across his forehead. No sleep or detachment in his eyes. Their whitish blue is the most focused I’ve seen in a while.
“Right.” Shadow snaps his fingers and points his drink at Flame. “You hacked into their system once and it almost got you fucking killed. What were the names you came up with? Black, Smoke, and...”
“Lisette,” Flame says in a monotonous tone. For someone who forgets names all the time, he sure caught this one from years ago.
I nod. “That’s the name Celeste mentioned.”
Flame removes the cigarette from his mouth and toys with it between his thumb and forefinger. “Is she really coming over?”
I shrug. “Probably. Could be now. Could be in a few months. You never know with Hades. Ideally, we’ll get the rest of our mates by then.”
“Ideally.” Flame is smiling with a level of creepiness that’s so rare of him to show. “Or we can teach Lisette a lesson.”
He stands and places a hand in his pocket. “She’s mine when she shows her head.”
Shadow and I exchange a look as Flame disappears behind the sofa.
Shadow shakes his head, takes a sip, and says, “Anytime now, mate.”
I face him. “What?”
“Where’s Zoe?” His eyes are rimmed red, and although I don’t witness him going into blackout moments, I’m sure they will return. It’s not that I don’t trust him, It’s that I don’t trust Omega. It made us mindless for a reason. And Shadow is already reckless as it is.
“I told you she doesn’t want to be found.”
“But you sent Elle her way.” He slams his glass on the table. “I heard the old hag Mist talking with Scar about it.”
“Zoe wanted Elle to
join her. I didn’t send her without notice. Her exact words concerning you were, ‘I don’t ever want to see his face again.’”
“Well, good fucking luck with that.” He springs to his feet. “Because I will find her and she will have to see my fucking face again.”
“Shadow.” I sigh. “We still have to take care of the factory. Johnny also escaped, so I need your head in the game.”
“My head is in the game all right.” His lips lift up in a smirk, and he downs the rest of his glass before heading to the door.
“Shadow.”
He glances over his shoulder. “What?”
“Don’t do anything stupid.”
He lifts a shoulder and leaves.
“Stupid is his last name.” Flame’s head appears from around the sofa. “You still didn’t give me anything to burn, Ghost.”
“One day. Not today.”
“Boring.”
“Tell me something, Flame.” I form a steeple at my chin. “Why did you show Shadow and Elle that surveillance video?”
He grins. “Because it’s fun.” His head hides behind the sofa. “Wake me up when there’s something to burn.”
I trace the rim of my glass. He’s still giving me off vibes, but it’s mostly his sense of nonchalance that bugs me.
My phone vibrates. A text from Scar.
Guess where am I?
I ignore her.
A second later, another text arrives.
You’re such a bore, Ghost. No need to guess. Tada!
Scar attaches a selfie. She’s got that coy smile that she practised a million times because she doesn’t even know how to smile. Behind Scar, two people are caught in the picture unknowingly. I zoom in behind her.
Elle.
My breathing deepens, and a strong sense of longing hits me when I make out those bright blue eyes and soft features.
Then, I focus on a man who’s having his arms around Elle’s shoulders. I see fucking red.
Elle is smiling, but there’s no trace of the sparkle that used to shine in her eyes.
I miss her.
Everything about her. Waking up to her face has become my drug, and its withdrawal is a lot worse than Omega’s.
Scar texts again.
Have you turned green yet?
And again.
Not yet? Okay, let me make the introductions. That’s Liam. He’s like the most hunk of a man I’ve ever seen. Trust me, I know. Pity he’s a fucking bastard.
And again.
But maybe Elle is into that type, ya know? She was idiot enough to fall for you once upon a time.
Another text.
Oh, Liam is a Met Police lieutenant *disgusted emoji* He just said Zoe and Elle are coming with him.
Another.
Dun dun DUNNN.
One more.
Pshh whatever. If ignoring me will make you feel better then go right ahead.
Your loss, Ghost.
I toss the phone away, close my eyes and lean my head against the sofa with a deep sigh.
Scar’s provoking me on purpose.
It’s working.
There’s nothing more I want than to fly there, break that Liam’s arm and bring Elle back. Once and for all.
But I already let her go.
I can only wait until she chooses to return on her own.
31
Elle
Zoe and I have hugged so many times during the past weeks, I’ve lost count.
Shocking. I know.
Mist witnessed our first teary hug with awkwardness then fled the scene.
After I let Zoe hug me, I yelled at her and punched her for making me believe she died. Then I cried some more when it sank in that she’s alive and well. The whole thing since her disappearance is like a dream. Or a nightmare. Depends on how to look at it.
Both of us are the same. But not really. We’ll never be the Elle and Zoe from the past.
She still hasn’t told me what happened or why she chose isolation on the outskirts of York, but Liam and I agreed to give her time.
She’s a shell of the lively Zoe I knew and she barely talks. Perhaps it’s a lot bigger than we think.
Her house is practically a farmhouse. The surrounding village is so friendly and has the most amazing northern accent. I walk outside near a plum tree, soaking in the rare warm sun. The air is wonderfully clean here. I can definitely get used to this.
Zoe has been doing some gardening out here. Mostly planting flowers. I know how much she likes flowers; that’s why I gave her the lotus bracelet, but I never thought she would give up the police for this.
It’s been her dream. The Academy. The adrenaline. Now, I have no idea where she plans to go. Or where I plan to go for that matter. I don’t think I will go back to underground fighting. Maybe I will teach women and children self-defence.
I have no appetite to do anything at the moment. My broken heart has been sinking more and more since the day Julian threw me away. As if I were nothing. As if what happened in the past couple of months didn’t rock his world like it quaked mine.
Sometimes, I contemplate calling him and yelling until his ears bleed. Or better yet, go there in person and punch him in the bloody face, but I’m too hurt to do that.
The ease with which he gave up on me still hurts too much. I go to sleep with tears in my eyes, knowing he won’t cage me in his comforting embrace. Now, all I have is a load of memories that keep haunting me.
“Elle?”
I stop pacing at Zoe’s voice. She’s standing at the entrance, wearing a baggy sweater and a scarf. The wind flips her blondish strands behind her. She’s smiling, but nothing reaches the bright green of her eyes like before. I still haven’t seen her smile freely like when she was my anchor. It’s time I become hers, no matter what type of demons she’s fighting.
“Liam is here,” she says then twirls a strand of her hair. A nervous habit that she’s been fighting to lose since we were teenagers. “Scar also came.”
Zoe didn’t want to tell Liam, but I made her call him. He deserved to know she’s alive after the hell we’ve been through. No idea if Zoe is hiding from us or herself.
I’ve been waiting for when she’ll crack a joke, like her normal self, but she didn’t even attempt to.
Scar is visiting for the second time. The other day, she came with Mist. Zoe was appalled. She thinks they will tell Shadow where she’s staying. Which both have denied. Scar said, ‘I don’t even like the arsehole.’ and Mist, ‘I’ll only help that filth when he needs a hand to die.’ But apparently, Zoe is still nervous about it.
I walk with her inside, interlinking my arm with hers. A few months ago, I wouldn’t want to be this close to anyone — even with Zoe. But at that time, I was running away from my insecurities. There’s nothing wrong with being close to those I love.
We find Liam and Scarlett in the small sitting area in Zoe’s house. Scar is plopped on the old sofa, sipping a coffee ever so leisurely, but Liam is standing at the threshold. Stance wide. Shoulders tense and arms crossed as if he’s ready to pounce any second.
Needless to say, he doesn’t like Scar.
Not the first time I introduced them, and obviously not now. I haven’t told him, but I think he knows she’s not just an escort, but one of Le Salon’s leaders.
“Hey, Liam,” I say with a light tone and massage his shoulder muscles. “Relax a bit, would you.”
“Not with her here.” He narrows his eyes on Scar. “Why does she keep coming in the first place?”
Zoe places a hand on her hip, and for the first time in the twenty days I’ve been here, a spark of the old Zoe rushes through. “That’s so rude, mister!”
“Ellie!” Scar completely ignores him and jumps me in a tight hug. “I missed you! It’s so dull without you. Come back, Hmm? Come on! I promise to kick Ghost’s arse if you do.”
I give an awkward smile. “Julian wouldn’t want me back.”
“That’s where you’re sooo wrong, Ellie.” She fl
ings her arms around. “Listen, Ghost and I are total besties, so I know what I’m talking about.”
“Are you really besties?” She didn’t strike me as close to Julian at all.
“I am.” She pauses when I keep staring at her, then purses her lips. “At times.”
“Didn’t you warn me to stay away from him?”
“That’s because I thought it was a fling. But that’s not the point! Have you ever thought that he could just... you know...”
I inch forward. “What?”
She gives a side glare to Liam and he glares back. Full on.
“Hey, police,” she says in her cheerful tone. “Mind if you stop eavesdropping like a creep?”
“The answer is no.” His tone is harsh and cold.
Scar rolls her eyes. “Is he always such an entertaining conversationalist? Also, why does someone like him share the name of my beloved Liam? Change your name, police!”
“Forget about him.” I clutch her shoulders, needing to pull her attention so she won’t lose track as always. “What were you trying to tell me earlier?”
“Right!” She claps her hands. “I was going to say, have you ever thought that Julian wants you to choose him?”
I blink. “Choose him?”
“Come on, you’re smart, Ellie. Connect the dots.”
Liam barges between me and Scar, squaring his shoulders back to add even more magnitude to his height. “She will be a lot smarter – and alive – when she stays the fuck away from the likes of you.”
“Liam!” Zoe scolds.
Although Scar is a lot shorter than Liam, only reaching his shoulder, she doesn’t falter or appear intimidated. Instead, the amber of her eyes fires up. It’s rare to see Scar show full hostility, and I’m kind of worried for Liam.
She’s a killer and has killer friends. Liam won’t stand a chance if they mark him for dead.
I touch his arm, attempting to pull him back, but the bloody mule won’t stop his glaring war with Scar.
He’s that protective of us.
After what seems like forever, Scar shakes her head and breaks eye contact first. “Apparently my presence here isn’t wanted, and I’m allergic to police here. So see you, Ellie and Zoe! Unless you change your mind.”