The Long Way Home

by Liz Isaacson

  “Okay, we’ve reached the ridiculous part of the evening.”

  “Is it evening?” She glanced around and leaned toward him. “I don’t think four o’clock counts as evening.” Her hushed tone and playful manner only increased his desire to see her everyday, talk to her everyday, kiss her everyday.

  He agreed, but he’d seen the way she’d glanced around outside. Like she was looking to make sure no one was around to see her holding his hand. He wasn’t sure if he should be offended by her action or try to be understanding. She had just gotten back into town, divorced with two little girls. He’d gone with understanding, though there was still a spot somewhere in his chest that pinched.

  “How was your week?” he asked. “New job and all.”

  She settled back into the booth, putting a couple extra feet between them. “It’s hard starting a new job. Leaving the girls.” Her voice drifted into silence and her gaze wandered out the window.

  “Your mom’s watching them, right?” Ty sucked down his soda, his stomach suddenly in knots for some reason he couldn’t quite name.

  “Yes. She retired last year, so she’s home. She loves having us here.”

  “I’m sure she does.” Ty wanted to get her attention back, make her stop talking in that low, unhappy voice. But he asked, “Was it hard coming home?” anyway.

  She nodded, her focus still on something beyond the pizzeria. “I needed to, and I’d been planning it for months. But it was still hard, yes.”

  “How long have you been divorced?” Ty cursed himself the moment the words left his mouth. But he hadn’t heard from Katie, and no one on the ranch even knew who River Lee was, except maybe Caleb, and well, Ty and Caleb didn’t discuss women the way they used to.

  River Lee snapped back to the present, and her eyes blazed with blue fire for one, two, three heartbeats before she relaxed. “This is why I don’t go to dinner,” she said.

  Ty held her gaze. “Why don’t you go to dinner?”

  “Because then I have to talk.” She glanced away, her fingers tumbling over each other, revealing her nerves.

  “We can talk about me,” Ty offered, though the thought didn’t exactly bring him any peace. “What do you want to know?”

  She slid him a knowing look through narrowed eyes. “I already know a lot about you.”

  “Oh yeah?” He leaned his elbows on the table. “Enlighten me.”

  She straightened and shook her hair over her shoulders. “Okay, well, you work at Horseshoe Home Ranch.”

  “So far, so good.”

  “You give horseback riding lessons on the weekends.”

  He waved his hand for her to go on, wondering when his life had been deduced to two simple sentences. A family of snakes started to writhe in his gut at the thought of what she’d say next. After all, his life was the ranch and horseback riding lessons at Silver Creek.

  “You do a lot of community service.” A glorious blush entered her face, and the corners of Ty’s mouth twitched upward.

  “I just started last year,” he said. “And I am doing a lot more this summer.”

  “Nothing in the winter?”

  He shook his head. “It’s too hard to get down the canyon if the weather is bad. I seem to make it to the Christmas Festival of Trees, though, so I probably could.” Ty considered it seriously. He’d been enjoying his service around Gold Valley, the different people he met, the sense of fulfillment he got that he couldn’t seem to get anywhere else.

  “I think you do enough,” River Lee said.

  “So that’s what you know about me?” Ty asked. “Anyone with two eyes would know that.”

  She watched him for a few seconds, more thoughts clearly dancing behind her eyes. “I know you’ve dated every available woman in Gold Valley.”

  He shook his head. “That’s not true.”

  “It’s not?”

  “Every available woman?” He scoffed. “Surely no one’s done that.”

  She lifted her water to her lips and sipped. “Was that your goal?”

  He shrugged. “Not really. I like dancing and having a good time.”

  “A good time?” Her eyebrows went up, along with the pitch of her voice.

  “Nothing serious.” He reached for his soda and gulped, the carbonation burning his throat on the way down.

  “So you’re not looking for a serious relationship?”

  “Depends.”

  “On what?”

  “On who it’s with.” He cocked one eyebrow in her direction, his meaning crystal clear to him. He hoped to her too. By the deepening stain in her face, Ty was pretty sure his message had gotten through, loud and clear.

  She cleared her throat at the same time the waiter arrived with their pizza. Saved by pepperoni, Ty thought as he grinned up at the guy and thanked him. He steered the conversation toward her girls after that, and River Lee came alive talking about them. Ty satisfied himself with the food and the pretty little sound of her voice.

  Something seethed inside him, though. Something that spoke of how much she adored her children—and if she even had room for him in her life.

  Chapter 7

  The next morning, Ty arrived at Silver Creek in a foul mood. Such things were rare for him, as he could usually shrug off whatever was bothering him after a cup of coffee and a maple bar from the best bakery in the world, The Dough Boy on Main Street in Gold Valley. But he’d had his maple bar and a cinnamon twist and two cups of coffee and he still didn’t feel like talking to anyone.

  But talk he would have to.

  Perpetually early, Ty had twenty minutes before he expected anyone else to show up, so he wandered down the aisle in the horse barn, his fingers finding the soft hair on each horse’s nose as he murmured sweet nothings to them. “You guys ready for today?” he asked. “Gotta be patient with the people. They’re new to this riding thing.”

  Kimchi snuffled, and Ty smiled, suddenly all his negativity gone. He hadn’t meant to get so wrapped up in River Lee so fast. At the same time, he wasn’t sure how to go slower. Everything about her made him want to jam both feet on the accelerator.

  And then there was the spiral he’d fallen into last night. He felt like a complete jerk for wondering if she had room for him in her life. Her kids should come first, he knew that. But the selfish side of him wanted to be number one in her life.

  And you’ll never be number one, he thought for at least the fiftieth time. He breathed deep and scratched Kimchi’s neck. “That’s okay, though, right?” He gazed at the horse’s long nose, her dark eyes. “I don’t mean to be selfish.”

  He’d prayed for what felt like a long time last night for the selfish feelings to go away. They hadn’t, and they still circled like sharks this morning. He moved down the row of horses to Pompeii, the huge horse River Lee had tried to tame by herself. A chuckle worked its way loose from the back of his throat, and Pompeii nosed his shoulder as if to say, Don’t be laughing at me. Where’s the hay cubes?

  “I brought apples today, guys,” he said in a louder voice. “You gotta work hard and be patient, and then you’ll get one.”

  He’d barely twisted back to offer Pompeii a proper scratch when a woman said, “Do you always show up early and talk to the horses?”

  River Lee. A smile bloomed on Ty’s face and he touched his forehead to Pompeii’s before turning, offering a silent prayer of thanks to the Lord for the way her voice could erase the clouds in his soul.

  He wondered what that meant, what that said about their relationship, but he pushed the heavy question to the back of his mind where he could study it out later.

  “Mornin’.” He turned toward her and leaned against Pompeii’s gate, one hand still stroking the horse’s neck. “You’re early too. Thinkin’ you might trample me again?”

  She rolled her eyes though the faintest of smiles adorned her face. “I didn’t trample you.”

  He scanned her in her slim-cut jeans and violet top, which hugged her shoulders and left her arms bare.
She wore cowgirl boots and her white-blonde hair back in a ponytail, exposing her slender neck and high cheekbones. He swallowed when he realized he was staring, and staring hard.

  “You didn’t answer my question.” She stepped toward him, giving the horses on her left a wide berth.

  Ty turned back to Pompeii and tried to steal some of the horse’s calm energy. He still felt like someone had unleashed the Tasmanian devil inside his chest when he said, “Yeah, I like talkin’ to the horses.”

  “Why?” She slipped into place next to him. “They don’t talk back.”

  “And that’s a beautiful thing,” he said. “You can tell them anything, and they don’t judge you. They don’t tell you you’re wrong, or you should’ve done something different with your life. They don’t say you’re impatient, or that—” Ty cut off when he realized what was streaming from his mouth. “And,” he added in a brighter tone. “They don’t tell your secrets to anyone else.” He felt the weight of River Lee’s gaze on his face, but he kept beaming up at Pompeii, his heart a piece of cement beneath his ribs.

  Why had he said all that? Maybe she—

  “Do you want to do something different with your life?” she asked, dashing his hopes that she’d just let his soliloquy slide.

  “No.”

  “What are you wrong about?”

  He cut her a glance out of the corner of his eye. “Lots of things. Let’s get started.” He hurried away, toward the tack room, nervous about where the conversation would lead. He wasn’t unhappy with his life, and he didn’t make a lot of mistakes. But Vienna’s words, though a year old, had cropped up in his life, filled with venom.

  Maybe he was too impatient when it came to women. Maybe he was just dancing through life, not taking anything seriously. He took his job seriously; he took the lessons seriously.

  As he lifted two saddles, he wondered if he could take a relationship with River Lee as seriously as he needed to.

  River’s back hurt after five minutes on Ole Red, the same horse she’d ridden last week. He plodded along like he’d lost half the batteries he needed to operate, but she still felt one breath away from falling.

  “You’re squeezin’ him too tight,” Ty said as she rounded the corner and came back toward him. “You don’t drive the horse with your legs, River Lee.”

  She gave him a curt nod but couldn’t seem to make her thighs relax. The way he drawled out her name didn’t help the rate of her pulse, and she almost lost her focus right then and there. The humiliation of falling off a horse right in front of the most gorgeous man on earth was enough to keep her in the saddle—but her legs squeezed even tighter.

  “River Lee!” he called, not a note of frustration in his voice. “Relax!”

  I can’t! she wanted to scream. She needed a new instructor if she was to relax. As he switched his attention to the rider behind her, the tension drained out of River’s body. Ole Red lifted his head and seemed to walk with more bounce in his step, and somehow his good energy calmed her further.

  Her muscles spasmed the closer she got to Ty again, and she wouldn’t allow herself to look in his direction.

  “Come over here.” He swept the reins right out of her hand, and guided Ole Red to the fence line. “He can feel your tension.” Ty stepped onto the bottom rung of the fence, and before she knew it, he’d swung himself into the saddle behind her. His breath tickled the back of her neck and his words dripped like honey through her hair. “You have to be relaxed.”

  Ty lifted the reins over her head, his strong arms coming around her. He held the lines in one hand and pushed gently with the other against her shoulder. “Relax, River Lee.” His voice sounded like a heavenly chorus, and warmth poured through her at his touch. When her back met his very solid chest, a display of fireworks danced through her vision.

  She could definitely get used to relaxing in his arms. Her body turned soft and she allowed herself to melt into him. She had no choice really. At this point, her body was acting of its own accord.

  “There you go,” he said, the husky quality of his voice further lulling her into a sense of safety and peace. “You hold the reins now.” He transferred them to her and put his hands on the saddle horn in front of her. “Tell ’im to go left by inching that side back. There’s nothing to be done with the legs. They hold you on, that’s it.”

  She eased back on the left rein and Ole Red obeyed easily. Ty could’ve sat up straighter, she was sure. He didn’t need to keep his mouth so close to her ear, she knew. Without him behind her, as relaxed as she was, she suspected she’d fall right off this animal.

  River glanced around and found at least three pairs of eyes on her and Ty, which caused an internal alarm to sound and all her muscles to seize. Instantly, Ty took the reins, moved Ole Red closer to the fence, and dismounted.

  “You try it alone,” he said, handing the reins back without making eye contact. “Go on. Circle around.” He moved back to his position on the far end of the circle, already giving directions to a group leader about holding the reins too tight.

  River scraped her hand across her forehead, the sweat there not only because of the summer sun. She still felt like the very sky had eyes on her, and she couldn’t shake the feeling for the rest of the session.

  Afterward, she participated in the horse care lesson and took the time to brush down Ole Red, feed him the apple he’d been promised, and put him back in his stall. By the time she finished, only she, Ty, and one group leader remained. Ty made sure everything was done, then locked up the barn and headed toward the parking lot with them.

  River wanted to invite him to her mother’s for lunch, but the courage she needed to speak didn’t come.

  “See you next week,” the group leader said to him, and River seized onto those words and repeated them.

  Ty lifted his hand in a general wave and climbed in his truck. He didn’t look at her, didn’t hesitate before starting the vehicle and driving away. River couldn’t help feeling a bit abandoned, and she didn’t even know why. Did she really think he’d spend the whole day with her?

  He had a family in the valley too, and probably preparations for the dance that night. They hadn’t discussed spending any time together today, even if he had held her hand after dinner the previous night. Even if he had leaned into the doorway of her truck back at the community center, given her that bone-melting grin, and said, “I had a great time, River Lee.”

  She could’ve subsisted on those words for weeks, no food or water necessary. But when he’d added, “I hope we can get together again soon,” her heart had floated right up to the clouds.

  River shook the sting of his departure away. Hannah and Lexi were expecting croissant sandwiches from the deli for lunch, and River didn’t want to be late. Still, she couldn't help thinking that it wouldn’t be hard to pick up one more sandwich and have one more person eating in the backyard with them that day.

  She started her car and sat in it as the group leader pulled out. She stared through the windshield to the road in front of her, and the mountain just on the other side. The birch trees were beautiful, their green leaves and white trunks something she’d definitely missed in Vegas. Up the mountain to the right sat the exclusive cabin community, where she’d gone to exactly one party in high school.

  Gold Valley spread out on her left, sandwiched between two glorious peaks, the northern one still capped with snow, even halfway through June. It wasn’t a crossroads, not really. But River felt pulled in several directions.

  She hadn’t come home to find a man to share her life with, but did that mean she couldn’t? Shouldn’t?

  She had two little girls to care for, but did that mean she had to do it alone?

  What do you want?

  The question entered her mind, almost from an otherworldly source. She closed her eyes and tipped her head back. “I want to do what’s right for me, Lexi, and Hannah.” Tears pricked behind her eyes, heating her face despite the air conditioning blowing. “What’s right
for me, Lexi, and Hannah?”

  God didn’t answer with the sound of a drum, or a crash of thunder, or anything loud at all. A simple feeling came into her heart; a feeling that she was loved.

  Not an answer, but something. She let the tears fall for a moment, grateful for the reassurance from on high. Then she opened her eyes, wiped her face, and reached for her phone.

  Chapter 8

  River waited impatiently while the line rang, hoping Katie wasn’t with a client. But it was Saturday, and the salon was always booked on the weekend.

  Finally, Katie said, “Hey, River.”

  Relief washed through River, and she wasn’t even sure why. She didn’t want to talk to her mom about Ty, not yet, because her mother obviously had a soft spot for the man already.

  “Katie,” River said. “Are you busy?”

  “I have a couple of minutes.”

  “Great.” River drew in a deep breath. “I want to talk about Ty Barker.”

  Katie giggled. “Oh, honey, that’s gonna take longer than a couple of minutes.”

  She thought of him driving away, and panic pounced through her that he’d stop for lunch before she could invite him to her mother’s. Maybe she should’ve called him first.

  “We went to dinner last night,” River said.

  “Ooh,” Katie squealed. “And?”

  “And nothing. It was nice.”

  “And?” Katie asked again.

  “And…I don’t know.”

  “Did he kiss you?”

  “Katie,” River admonished. “Of course not. It was dinner at four o’clock in the afternoon.”

  “Was it a date?”

  “I—I don’t know.” River had been out of the dating game for so long, she wasn’t sure what counted as a date and what didn’t. Especially for Ty Barker, the ladies’ man of Gold Valley.

  “Well, it probably wasn’t a date,” Katie said. “Ty told me he doesn’t consider himself dating a woman until he kisses her.”

  “He—” River paused, her mind trying to latch on to what Katie had said. “What?” Hurt seeped through her. “So he could go to dinner with another woman,” she said. “And that would be okay, because he’s not dating anyone right now.”