The Milburn Big Box Set

by Nancy McGovern

  “That’s my girl,” Tina cheered.

  Simone smiled brightly.

  It was good to see Simone wearing a smile again, Nora thought. For too long, she’d gone without one. Nora wondered if the source of Simone’s happiness was Hawaii or Tina, who could pick up anyone’s spirits. Whichever the reason, it was nice.

  “This was a brilliant idea,” Nora said. “I feel like every single cell in my body is relaxing on its own little chaise lounge.”

  “Not mine,” Tina said. “I had to spend an hour on the treadmill this morning to compensate for that breakfast and now my cells are angry with me! I tried to explain that I had no choice but to put them to work. There must have been a tub of butter in each one of those croissants and the scrambled eggs tasted as if they were made of pure cream, not eggs. So delicious.”

  “I loved the traditional Hawaiian breakfast I had,” Simone said. “Eggs with rice, gravy and spam.”

  “Speaking of spam…” Nora frowned, having turned to her cell phone, “...I have to find a way to manage my inbox. I’ve gotten 1500 new messages from various websites I visited, and—”

  “Oh, get off your email and come dance barefoot with me,” Tina said, grabbing Nora’s phone and dangling it above her head.

  “Ugh, Tina! I was only going to… give it back for just ten more minutes.”

  “Come on, Nora!” Tina taunted playfully. “Let loose and look at that view. Have you ever seen a beach so splendidly untouched—”

  “You mean the beach with the overturned car sitting in the middle of it?” Nora laughed.

  It was one of the first things she’d noticed when she arrived at the cottage. The view was fantastic but the rusty, overturned car wedged between a few rocks just beyond the shore was certainly distracting. At low tide you could walk over to it while, at high tide, it was almost completely submerged.

  “Well, ignore that. Think of it as a local landmark. It adds to the charm,” Tina said. “But look at that blue ocean. Ignore the phone…and the car…and just look at that ocean.”

  Simone stifled a smile, then opened up the french windows of their little cottage. “Out into the garden with you two.” She swept her hands dramatically, pointing at the vista in front of them.

  Simone had rented the cottage for them, apparently through local connections she had. Her mother had been part Hawaiian and, as a result, Simone had some ties to the islands. She had chosen one of the smaller islands for the trip, away from the tourist traps and big, expensive hotels and it had turned out to be a perfect choice. It was simply breathtaking.

  Nora, especially, appreciated the peace and quiet. The land in front of the cottage was an untamed and lush green, ending in a short cliff beyond which the ocean gently slept; a blue blanket with streaks of turquoise and green.

  “Wyoming is beautiful, but if I were ever given a choice, I’d pack and move here in a heartbeat,” Tina said, stepping out in the garden. “It’s so peaceful, so beautifully…green. There’s no worries, no… ahhh!” She jumped more than a foot into the air, and then scrambled back to the cottage’s porch.

  “What?” Simone and Nora asked simultaneously.

  “Snake!” Tina cried. “Snake! There was a giant, disgusting snake in the grass out there! I almost stepped on it! Oh, my God. Get in the house and lock every door.”

  “Come on, Tina. It’s nothing to be afraid of,” Simone explained. “Snakes are timid creatures. They’re far more scared of us than we are of them. It’s probably not even poisonous. Most snakes aren’t.”

  “Are you sure?” Tina said. “Because let me tell you, I’m absolutely terrified of snakes. Oh, I can’t believe I almost stepped on it. I think my toe touched it. It was so slimy and gross and…”

  She heard twigs breaking and a great clatter in the underbrush behind her. When she turned to look, two panting men carrying nets and long curved sticks suddenly appeared.

  “Excuse me,” said one, a nervous looking man with rabbitty teeth. “Did we hear you mention a snake?”

  “Is it here?” The other man had puffy silver hair swept off his face and thick-rimmed, black glasses that looked expensive, like they were more for show than for function. A discreet Chanel logo on his linen shirt peeked out from below his vest.

  “Is that your snake?” Tina asked, a little angrily.

  “Depends,” the silver haired man said. “Is it blue and yellow?”

  “Yes!”

  “With a neon orange head?”

  “Yes!”

  “Might be ours, then.” He shrugged. “But it’s hard to say. It’s an extremely rare species from the Amazonian rainforest but you never know if two of them could have made their way into your backyard here in Hawaii.”

  Simone stared at him.

  “Are you trying to be funny?” she asked. “Because it’s no laughing matter. That snake could have bitten my friend.”

  “I’m sure it’s nonpoisonous, Simone,” Nora said soothingly, trying to diffuse the situation. “Most snakes are harmless, after all. You just said so yourself.”

  “Oh, no. This one is definitely poisonous,” the silver haired man corrected, bringing out a large, silk handkerchief and mopping his brow. “One bite can kill a person in five seconds…flat.”

  Tina let out a little yelp and hugged Simone, hiding her face. Simone looked even more annoyed. “Listen Mr…. whatever your name is.”

  “Degas,” he said. “Degas Christiansen. At your service.”

  “Degas? Like the painter?” Simone asked.

  “Yep. Just like him. My mother was a big fan,” Degas said. “Can’t say I enjoy his paintings much but, then, I’m not an artist like she was. A professional dancer, she was.”

  “Yes, well, it’s fascinating to hear about your family history,” Tina said with a tremor in her voice. “But can you please capture that wretched snake now?”

  “Oh. The snake. Yes.” Degas blinked as if just remembering where he was. “Go on, then.” He poked the rabbitty looking man with his stick. “You go to the far end of the garden and send it towards me.”

  “R-right,” the assistant agreed, looking just as terrified as Tina.

  But, scared or not, the man proceeded to head across the garden. Once there, he began thrashing about the undergrowth.

  “It’s a rare snake,” Degas said, still leaning on his stick and staring at Simone. “I captured it on my last tour through the Amazon. Did I mention that? We think it’s a new species altogether. There’s a professor from Maui College coming up here to check it out tomorrow. So it’s kind of inconvenient that he ran away.”

  “Your last tour through the Amazon?” Simone asked. “What are you, some sort of explorer?”

  “I call myself an adventurer,” he replied. “The old fashioned kind, with just the boots on my feet to keep me company.”

  Nora saw his assistant’s lip curl in a sneer as his role in his boss’s escapades was trivialized. Instantly, though, the sneer vanished.

  “I think I see it, Degas,” he said. “Are you ready?”

  “You bet.” Degas gave Simone a last smile and then squatted a little, his face brimming with anticipation.

  Sweat crawled down the assistant’s neck as he banged his stick around in the bushes. A streak of blue and orange suddenly appeared, racing away from the assistant. It slid through the grass with the force of a deadly river. On the other side, Degas’ lips parted into a grin as he extended his net.

  But the snake was smarter than they gave it credit for. Instead of heading into the waiting net, it slid up the stick, racing towards Degas. With a little yelp, Degas let the stick fly high up into the sky with the snake still on it. It landed on the ground and the snake slithered away.

  Then Degas pounced on it, his net trapping its coils.

  “Aha,” he said triumphantly, hoisting it aloft, held at an arm’s length. It hissed and flung itself against the net, rocking its body this way and that in a futile attempt to escape. “There’s my pride and joy. I�
�ve named him Neo.”

  “You’re crazy,” Tina said. “If that thing had bitten me, I could have died.”

  “Oh, but you’d be lucky.” Degas smiled. “The bite would cause instant death. Well, near instant. Maybe a second’s worth of pain. There are other snakebite victims who suffer far worse fates.”

  “Lucky!” Tina exclaimed. “Buddy, I’ll—”

  “You should leave,” Simone said to the men. “You’ve upset my friends enough.”

  “Oh.” Degas looked chastened. “All right. Really sorry ladies.” He hesitated as his assistant began to walk off with the snake. “Um…” He bit his lip and, still staring at Simone, he said, “I wish there was some way for me to make up for the bother.”

  “No need,” Simone said. “Just leave us in peace, thank you.”

  “Right. Well. Maybe we’ll see you in the village sometime.” He smiled. “I never did catch your names, ladies.”

  “That’s a pity, isn’t it?” Simone asked from inside the cottage, shutting the french doors on the men.

  Tina, still a little shaky, flopped down on the couch and said, “Well, there goes all my peace and serenity. Shattered by a snake.”

  “Degas seemed like… an interesting man,” Nora said.

  She glanced at Simone who rolled her eyes.

  “He’s crazy,” Simone said.

  “Ah, but who is he crazy for?” Tina teased. “He could barely keep his eyes off you, even while his life was in danger from that snake.”

  “I don’t think he understands the concept of danger,” Simone replied. “He must be a blindly optimistic man to head out alone into the Amazon and come back with a snake.”

  “Or nuts,” laughed Tina.

  *****

  No longer wanting to hang out on the grounds surrounding their cottage for awhile, the ladies decided to recover by heading to the village for lunch. After a hearty meal of salmon and dessert of syrupy shaved ice with banana and watermelon, they returned to the bungalow, prepared to sleep the afternoon away.

  On the doorstep waiting for them was a giant orchid plant with purple flowers in full bloom. A card was attached to it:

  Sorry for all the trouble I caused earlier! I’m having a party later tonight and I’d be glad if the three of you could attend. It’s to celebrate the opening of my new zoo. Let me know if you’re interested. Degas.

  “Well, how exactly are we supposed to let him know?” Tina smiled. “He didn’t leave his number and we don’t know where he lives or stays.”

  The rabbitty assistant stepped out from a corner, startling them.

  “Oh, sorry,” he said. “My boss asked me to deliver this and wait here till you reply.”

  “Your boss is… a little nuts, isn’t he?” Simone asked.

  The man rubbed the back of his neck and looked away.

  “Well…he wanted a reply,” he said.

  “Tell him thanks but no thanks,” Simone replied.

  “I think it’d be fun, actually,” Tina pointed out. “I mean, as long as that snake is in its cage, I don’t mind a midnight tour of a zoo.”

  “Me, either,” Nora agreed. “But I don’t think it’s you or me Degas really wants to see there, Tina.”

  Nora grinned slightly as Simone blushed.

  “So…” The assistant hesitated. “Shall I take that as a yes?”

  Now Simone paused.

  “It’s a maybe,” she said. “But, just in case, where is this party, anyway?”

  *****

  Chapter 2

  A Midnight Party At The Zoo

  “So, I said to him, I know it’s 700,000 dollars but I don’t care. Charter the plane. I need to reach Chicago by tomorrow or I’ll lose 50 million dollars.” The lady who said this wore a diamond choker and a strapless, rose-pink Oscar de la Renta gown that seemed to flow like a river around her body. It was all Nora could do not to gape.

  The party was held at a large stone mansion on the edge of a cliff. Half a mile before they’d even landed on the property, paper lights hovering in the sky had lit up the way towards the mansion. Extravagant was hardly the word for it - this was downright decadent. The vague thump-thump-thump of electronic music followed the three friends around as they wandered through the house.

  “That’s actual gold embossed on the pillars,” Tina whispered, running a finger down the marble columns. “Can you believe this?”

  “You stepped on a snake and it was tied to a multibillionaire,” Nora said. “I’m doing all I can not to whistle out loud. Oh, look at those lovely orchids! That’s exactly the shade of purple I want for my bridesmaid’s dresses. What do you think, Tina? You’re the maid of honor, after all!”

  “Well, I’ve been temporarily blinded by all this opulence so I can’t answer you at the moment,” Tina joked.

  “Where’s our host, though?” Simone asked, looking unimpressed. As an heiress with a highly successful ice-cream business of her own, Simone was more used to displays of wealth than her friends, and less easily impressed. Even she had to admit, though, that a helicopter flying out every half hour and dropping confetti from above was… unusually cool.

  “I went to the bathroom and got lost,” Tina said. “There were like doors behind the mirrors, and actual Picasso paintings on the walls. Who is this guy anyway?”

  “I googled him,” Nora said, looking at her phone. “Degas Christiansen. The only thing I found out was an article about his Amazonian expedition three years ago. It only says that his father was a property developer.”

  “So he’s a typical rich brat.” Simone shrugged. “They’re impressive at first, but if you hang out with them long enough, they’re often short on substance.”

  “Actually, I’m beginning to think he was pretty down to earth,” Nora said. “I mean… his clothes looked expensive when we met him, but I didn’t expect…” she waved her arms around, “All this.”

  “Hmph.” Simone shrugged.

  Tina gave Nora a sideways look, and received a nod. Simone had been dragged quite unwillingly to the party. The truth was, she was still smarting after her divorce, and though she wasn’t quite willing to admit it, both Nora and Tina thought it would do her good to move on. After all, quite some time had passed and she’d thrown herself into being a good mother to Will and building her ice cream empire.

  “What you need,” Tina said, “and I say this as a friend with nothing but love…”

  “Is to let your hair down for once,” Nora said. “Is it ostentatious and ridiculous? Yes. Is it fun? Also yes. Loosen up, Simone. If Degas likes you, there’s no harm in a little flirting.”

  “There’s no harm in a little flirting? Sometimes you two act like star struck teenagers instead of sensible—”

  “Spinsters?” Tina offered.

  “You’re still young, Simone,” Nora said gently. “There’s no reason you should spend the rest of your life alone. But you seem determined to.”

  “Just don’t nag me about it, please.” Simone snagged a glass of champagne from a passing waiter, and glared at it. “That better not be real flecks of gold swimming about in my champagne.”

  “You know, I thought parties like this only existed in Hollywood,” Tina said. “But this vacation just got more awesome. Now if only Sam were here to enjoy it with me.”

  “And I wish Harvey were here with me,” Nora smiled. “But since we can’t have our share of romance, Simone, we’re going to make sure we live vicariously through you.”

  “Honestly you two, I—”

  “Ladies! Hello!” Degas appeared, dressed in an electric blue tuxedo jacket with an almost blindingly white shirt and surprisingly worn jeans. From the looks of it, Nora wondered if the outfit were worth her entire year’s income, and then stifled a giggle at the thought.

  “I hope you’re enjoying yourself? When did you arrive?” Degas grabbed two glasses of champagne and offered one each to Nora and Tina.

  “We’re doing fine,” Simone said, rather coldly. “Thank you for invitin
g us.”

  “Yes, well, I felt rather bad that you almost stepped on Neo,” Degas said to Tina. “I hope it didn’t upset you too much. My assistant Haku said that you could have sued me for endangerment. I hate lawsuits.”

  “Well, I think they’d suit you just as well as this suit,” Tina said.

  Degas squinted at her, as if trying to unravel her joke. After a second, a big smile spread across his face. “Funny,” he said. “Uh. Would the three of you like a tour? I’ve just had this house built a year ago, so I’m not sure I’ve explored it myself.”

  “I’m sure it’s easier than exploring the Amazon,” Simone said.

  “Well, in both cases I could use the right companion,” Degas said.

  Tina coughed, trying to hold back a laugh, as Simone looked away. Degas colored too.

  “You mentioned you were planning to start a zoo,” Nora said.

  “Right, the zoo!” Degas looked thankfully at her. “I’ve always dreamt of it since I was a little boy. I used to read this book series, Doctor Dolittle. I was fascinated by it. Even when my tutors came to teach me boring old geography or history, I’d be daydreaming about setting sail on a ship with only the rarest of animals to keep me company. Now here I am!”

  “Must be nice,” Simone said, with a forced smile. “Being able to achieve your ambitions so easily.”

  Degas didn’t reply, but pushed through a large oak door with silver embellishments, moving into a room that had been converted into a dance floor. The smell of perfume was invasive, as attractive blondes and handsome chisel jawed men danced to the beats of a famous DJ.

  One man came up to Degas and whispered something in his ear, to which Degas simply nodded and said, “No problem, you can use one of the spare ones in my garage. Haku will help you out.”

  “Thanks, buddy. I need to reach LA tonight. The director’s written a bunch of new scenes,” the man replied. “The helipad is out back, right?”

  “Yes. Behind the gazebo. Haku will lead you to it.” Degas gave him a thumbs up and pushed his way through the crowd, with the three girls following behind him.