Dangerous Desires

by Dawn Altieri

  “Helen was good friends with my mom,” Jake said. “She’s been sick and doesn’t think she can handle the business much longer. I know it’s not a landscape design firm, and I don’t know if it’s even something you’d consider, but I wanted you to know about it.”

  The strangest sensation came over her, a combination of excitement and irritation. She hadn’t felt it since Justin was alive, since he’d given her things she should have wanted—like a fully decorated luxury apartment—without consulting her first.

  But that wasn’t the case now. Jake wasn’t forcing anything on her, he was simply making her aware of an opportunity. It may not have been exactly what she’d dreamt of, but it could be a start, something she could finesse into the career she’d always wanted. She would have preferred to do it her own way, in her own time… Oh, who was she kidding? She hadn’t made any progress on a simple resume she’d been trying to write for weeks, and she’d given in to the fear that she shouldn’t do anything she truly wanted for herself.

  Still, that tiny, newly-awakened voice in the back of her mind nagged at her to be wary. She decided to ignore it and listen to the excited voice instead.

  She pulled her fingers from his grip. “I know nothing about running a flower shop,” she said softly, still examining the building’s brick facade.

  “But you do have a business degree, right?” he asked. “That’s gotta count for something.”

  She strained to see past the windows to the interior of the shop, but it was too dark inside. “Finance,” she said as she straightened to face him. “It’s not quite the same thing.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said and turned back toward the bike. “This isn’t what you wanted—”

  “No, wait.” She placed her hand on his forearm and stopped him. “Can we take a closer look?”

  He surveyed the parking lot quickly and seemed to come up with no obvious threats. “Uh, sure we can.”

  She stepped up to the window and used her free hand as a visor to see beyond the glass. From what she could tell, the store was lovely inside. Numerous small tables and various display areas were filled with flower arrangements, ceramic figurines, and greeting cards. Fabric butterflies hung from the ceiling on barely visible strings, and a large wooden shelving unit along the wall to the right held an assortment of angel-themed home decor. Along the length of the rear wall, a countertop with a small cash register separated the shopping area from the softly lit refrigerators and high wooden tables of the workshop.

  She dropped her hand from her forehead and chewed her lower lip. “I don’t know anything about running a flower shop.”

  He wrapped his arm around her, rubbing his hand up and down her shoulder as they both faced the window. “You said that already.”

  “I mean, really nothing about running a flower shop.” She turned to face him as his crooked grin slowly appeared.

  “I understand that,” he said. “I’m sure that situation can be easily rectified. I’ve known Helen since I was a kid. We could meet with her so you can get an idea of what’s involved.”

  Emma glanced at the window one more time, still filled with skepticism. “I suppose it couldn’t hurt to just talk to her.”

  He slipped his hands around her waist to the small of her back. “Absolutely. Talking is a good start.”

  “So, we’ll just talk.”

  He nodded.

  “Okay.”

  He kissed her, a brief but firm kiss before he released her. “I’ll set something up,” he said, taking charge once more.

  She shook off her hesitancy, refusing to give in to it until she had more information. Right now, she wanted to enjoy the day. “So, where to now?”

  He tossed an arm around her again and led her back toward the motorcycle. “Thought we’d go visit my dad.”

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  “Up and at ’em, Pop,” Jake called as he simultaneously knocked and entered Ted Quinn’s room at the veterans’ retirement home. “Ready for a spin around the gardens?”

  Emma waited in the doorway, still uncertain why Jake had felt the urge to bring her along for the visit.

  “Up and at ’em, my ass,” Ted grumbled. “I’ve been up for hours already.” He spun his wheelchair in her direction, and his mood brightened instantly when he spotted her. “Well, hello, there. You must be Emma. Jake told me you were a looker, but he didn’t do you justice. Nice job, son.” Ted held his hand out to her.

  “Pop,” Jake said on a groan. “Don’t mind him, Emma. Apparently, manners are the first thing to go.”

  She placed her hand in Ted’s, amused by his crass demeanor even though it obviously embarrassed Jake. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Quinn.”

  “It’s Ted. Or Teddy, as the ladies like to call me.” He winked at her from behind his silver-framed glasses.

  “Dad, please. I haven’t seen you in weeks. Don’t make me regret coming today. No one needs to hear about you and the ladies.”

  “Oh, for Christ’s sake, let an old man have some fun.” Ted grabbed his Veterans of Foreign Wars baseball cap off the dresser and flopped it onto his head before wheeling himself toward the door. “Okay, get me out of this joint.”

  “You really need the chair?” Jake asked.

  “You gonna carry me when I’m too tired to walk later?”

  “No, I am not.” Jake grabbed the handles to push him down the hallway.

  “You bring any food?” Ted asked. “You wouldn’t believe the slop they served us for dinner last night.”

  “You’re on a restricted diet, remember?” Jake maneuvered his way around nurses and medical carts. “It’s not going to be a five-star menu.”

  “Emma, has my son cooked for you yet? He’s a damned good cook, you know.”

  “Yes, he has.” She glanced at Jake as she walked next to him. The resemblance between the two Quinn men was even more striking in person than in the photos back at the beach house. She was amazed he’d allowed her this glimpse into his life, one she assumed he rarely allowed anyone. And despite their less than jovial banter, the love Jake and his dad had for each other was obvious. “And you’re right, he is a good cook.”

  “Got that from his mother, not from me, that’s for damned sure. Phyllis,” Ted called to the receptionist at the front desk, “I’m bustin’ out. It’s been nice knowin’ ya.”

  “You too, honey,” she replied with a wave. “See you in about an hour?”

  “If you do, it ain’t gonna be on account of the world class cuisine.”

  “You take good care of Jake, now, you hear?” Phyllis called after them.

  Ted waved back over his head as Jake wheeled him through the door.

  They made their way to a shady spot in the well-manicured garden, and Jake locked the wheels of Ted’s chair in place. “Shit,” he grumbled under his breath. “I forgot to bring water.” He turned to Emma. “Can I get you anything?”

  She shook her head. “Nope. I’m fine.” She watched as he strode toward the building.

  “I’d like to thank you for whatever it is you’ve done to my son,” Ted said. “He’s a changed man.”

  Emma took a seat on the park bench next to Ted’s wheelchair. He might need to add delusions to his list of ailments, if he thought she could be responsible for changing Jake. “What do you mean? I’ve only known him a few weeks. What’s changed?”

  “I’m only talking about the last few weeks.” Ted adjusted his cap to block the sunbeams breaking through the spring foliage on the trees. “That boy’s been miserable for years. Lonely and miserable.”

  His assessment couldn’t be right. She remembered one of her earlier conversations with Jake and his comment about all the meaningless sex he’d enjoyed. He may have been miserable, but clearly not lonely.

  “Don’t tell him I said anything,” Ted added. “You’ll never get him to admit it.
”

  That, she could believe.

  “He’s so goddamned serious all the time,” Ted went on, grimacing as though his son’s unhappiness pained him, as well. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I raised him to be dedicated, driven. If you’re going to do something, doesn’t matter what it is, you do it well…or at least you give it your best shot. It’s what’s made him such a damned good cop. But he never did know how to relax and enjoy life, and what the hell is the point if you’re not going to enjoy any of it? Now look at him. You’ve got him actually taking time off from work.”

  “Well…” She shook her head. If only Ted knew the real reason she was there, that she was a potential witness Jake was protecting from a murderer…with benefits. “I’m not sure I can take credit for that.”

  “Sure you can. I think if anyone could change him, it’d be you. He thinks very highly of you, you know.”

  “That’s very nice of you to say, but I’m not so sure it’s true.”

  “You don’t think so, do you? You didn’t have to watch him the last few years, moping around like a kid who lost his puppy. And you’re the only thing new around here.” He shifted in his chair, examining her. “You remind me of my Katherine when I first met her. Seems like a goddamned lifetime ago.”

  “I’ve seen pictures of your wife. She was a beautiful woman.”

  “She was,” he said in a nostalgic tone. “Trust me, Emma, you can take all the credit for the change in my son. I haven’t seen him this happy since before everything happened with his mother.”

  Oh, dear. This was Jake when he was happy? She couldn’t help wondering what he’d be like if he wasn’t. “What happened with his mother?” she asked.

  “He hasn’t told you?” Ted patted her hand with a thin, sad smile. “I should’ve known he wouldn’t. He doesn’t like to talk about it much. Sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn’t have brought it up. That is not my story to tell.”

  She opened her mouth to press him but thought better of it. Jake’s family history was none of her business, and there were some things she didn’t need to know.

  Ted shifted again, seemingly quite uncomfortable in the chair.

  “Can I do anything for you?” she asked.

  “Look at you, offering to be my very own nursemaid.” He flashed the same devilish grin she’d seen on Jake so many times. “Won’t help. I can’t ever get comfortable these days.”

  Jake returned with three bottles of water, twisted one open and handed it to Ted. “You filling her head with your usual nonsense?” he asked as he winked at her.

  “You know me better than that, boy. I’m a no-bullshit kind of guy.” Ted gave her a pat on the knee. “I like this one, son. Not that you’ve ever introduced me to any of your girlfriends before. But this one’s a keeper.”

  Jake flashed a shy smile but didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. His actions over the last few days had proven there was more to what was going on between them than he was willing to admit.

  But she couldn’t help wondering what had happened to his mother to make that smile so rare.

  Chapter Fifty

  Jake kept the visit short so as not to overwhelm Ted, and after he brought Emma back to the beach house he immediately checked in with Mack. He ended the call no less frustrated than he’d been before dialing. No new developments, and now Jake was under strict orders from his partner to relax and stop worrying about the case.

  Like that was going to happen.

  He joined Emma in the kitchen. Rain pelted the cottage, creating tiny rivers along the outer surface of the window while she stared through it at the violent waters of the bay. The storm that had been threatening during their ride back from the veterans’ home was in full force now, the early evening sky black and fierce.

  “Hey,” he said softly. He poured himself a glass of wine from the bottle she’d opened. “You okay?”

  She swirled her own wineglass in her fingertips. “Yeah. Just tired.”

  He’d hoped staying on the Island for a few days would make things easier, give them both a chance to unwind. He’d hoped visiting his dad would bring a sense of normalcy and get her mind off things. But this wasn’t a vacation. It was just the latest in a string of upheavals that had taken its toll on her, and that had taken a toll on him. He hated seeing her under so much stress, hated being powerless to make it go away.

  A bright flash of lightning illuminated the bay, followed by a loud crack of thunder. A moment later, the electricity went out.

  “Ah, wonderful,” he grumbled, looking to the ceiling as if he could will the lights back on. He grabbed the wine bottle and took her hand. “Come here. I want to show you something.” He brought her out to the living room and pulled a packaged fire log from a basket on the stone hearth. “I had someone come and service the fireplace after the last time we were here. How about a test run?”

  “Sounds perfect.” The melancholy in her eyes lifted as she sat cross-legged on the floor with her glass of wine.

  He took a box of fireplace matches off the mantle and kneeled to light the log. It caught quickly, filling the room with a warm glow as the storm raged outside. “I’ll have to stock up on some real wood if we’re going to be using this thing.” He sat opposite her, leaning back against the couch with his legs stretched out. He reached over to rub her knee. “You sure you’re okay?”

  She sat silent for a long time, the flickering flames reflecting in her eyes. “I called my mother while you were talking with Mack.”

  Emma hadn’t said much about her family, just enough for Jake to know it was a sore subject, but the little he’d heard about her mother pissed him off. “I know you’re not very close.”

  A sad chuckle burst from her lips. “You could say that. She didn’t even tell me she’s here on Long Island.” Emma waved her wineglass in the air dramatically. “She’s having dinner with some friends and flying back to California in the morning, so she won’t have time to see me. As usual.”

  “It’s her loss, baby.” He gave her knee a gentle squeeze. “She’s your only family?”

  Emma nodded. “My dad left when I was little, and we never heard from him again. He was a smart man.” She took a determined sip from her glass. “She remarried a few times and never really had much use for me. I’ve never been her top priority. That’s why she wanted me to marry Justin so badly, so he could take care of me and she’d be off the hook. It never occurred to her I could take care of myself.” Emma picked at a loose thread in the rug beneath her. “I told her about everything that’s going on. She didn’t seem too concerned. I’m not sure what I expected. I guess it’s too much to ask her to worry that a murderer might be after me.”

  The sadness in Emma’s eyes twisted Jake’s gut. He fought the urge to pull her into his lap and hold her, to let her cry if she wanted to, and she sure as hell looked like she did. But she didn’t want pity. He’d gotten to know her well enough to know that.

  How could her mother not see the magnificent soul inside her own daughter? How could she not want to be surrounded by it every day? How could she not be sickened by the very thought of losing her, just as he was? If only he could grab that woman by the shoulders and shake some sense into her.

  “The sad part is,” Emma continued, “if it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be stuck where I am now.”

  He tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I busted my butt all through high school to make sure I could go to college, but it was her idea for me to study finance, not mine. I was always good with numbers, and she figured that would be the best place for me to meet a rich guy. It was easier not to fight her, to just go along with the plan. I was never any good at standing up for myself. The only thing I ever got excited about was gardening, learning about plants and flowers, creating designs out of living things that could bring beauty and joy into the world. But that wasn’t good enoug
h for her. That wasn’t a real career.”

  Emma faced the fire, and her beauty stunned him once again. The glow of the flames brought out fiery highlights in her rich brown hair he hadn’t noticed before.

  “I was in the business school at NYU on a good academic scholarship, and I came really close to dropping out, but I couldn’t do it. It would’ve been stupid to give up an education like that. Then I met Justin, and I stuck it out to be near him. And afterward, I took this damn job in the city to be near him.” She stopped abruptly and met Jake’s gaze. “I’m sorry,” she said.

  He shook his head. “Sorry for what? For telling me the truth? Don’t ever be sorry for doing that.” The truth was the only thing he could ask of her.

  “I’m sure you don’t want to hear about all this.”

  “Well, you’re wrong. I want to hear whatever you want to tell me.”

  She sighed deeply and resumed her story. “Once Justin was in the picture, my mom had an ally. The two of them would gang up on me whenever I talked about switching majors. So then I was trying to make him happy, too, and it just got worse. I let them railroad me into all these things and gave up on everything I’d ever wanted for myself.”

  “You’re not the first person to make bad decisions because you thought you were in love.” Not that he knew anything about being in love. Bad decisions? Yes. Love? He still had a thing or two to learn about that. “Though normally,” he added, “your parents are the ones trying to talk you out of them.”

  A weak smile tugged at her lips. “You’re right. You’re the first person to say it out loud. I thought I was in love, but what I had with Justin? That wasn’t love. It was manipulation.”

  “You deserve better than that.”

  She nodded solemnly, though she didn’t really seem to believe it. “You were lucky. You had this.” She gestured toward the wall of Jake’s family photos. “That’s all I ever wanted.”

  The photos clearly meant happiness and security to her, despite the reality and loss they represented to him.