Dangerous Desires

by Dawn Altieri

  In the split second that Sommers’s attention went toward the sound, Jake surged forward and smashed his knee into the bastard’s side. Sommers’s gun flew from his hand, landing close to where Emma still lay unmoving on the ground.

  Sommers reared up, locked his arms around Jake’s waist, and shouldered him in the stomach, shoving him backward. Jake landed on his back on the firmly packed sand, knocking the air from his lungs. Gasping for air, he forced himself to his feet and landed a solid punch to Sommers’s jaw with enough force it would’ve stunned most assailants, but the move only antagonized Sommers further. He lunged desperately, rolling Jake to the ground and grabbing his wrist, slamming it against the rocks until Jake’s grip on his gun broke loose and Sommers was able to snatch the weapon away.

  With a loud grunt, Jake raised his foot in a kick to the other man’s ribs. Sommers jerked backward, landing at Emma’s feet. A scowl of fury and pain covered his face. He crossed one arm over his ribs and struggled to point the gun at Jake with the other.

  Sergeant Perez burst into the clearing behind him. “Drop the weapon!”

  Sommers wiped the sweat and blood from his face with his free hand but steadied his aim. His chest heaving with every labored breath, he sneered at Jake and ignored the officer. “Once I’m done with you, I’m gonna finally show her what’s it’s like to be with a real man.”

  There was no way Jake would let that happen. He’d gladly take a bullet first if it meant taking down the douchebag. If it weren’t for that goddamned gun in Sommers’s hand—

  “Drop the weapon!” Perez ordered again, but Jake knew the sergeant couldn’t get a shot off. Jake was directly in his line of fire.

  Sommers did his best to aim the gun between Jake’s eyes. “Say goodbye, Detective.”

  Then the deafening sound of a gunshot rang out in the quiet of the night.

  Chapter Sixty-Seven

  Sommers tumbled to the ground, blood streaming from the back of his head.

  Jake had fully expected to be dead now, but to his shock he was still alive and felt unhurt. It was Sommers who’d been shot. What the hell—

  “Emma!” Jake realized with a gasp and spun into action.

  He grabbed his gun from Sommers’s limp hand and rushed to where she was struggling to get to her feet. Her fingers trembled around the gun her attacker had held just minutes ago.

  Jake gently extracted it from her death grip and drew her into his arms. “God, baby…”

  “He was going to kill you,” she said, staring blankly around Jake’s shoulder at Sommers’s inert body. Perez, still aiming his service weapon at the perp, reached down to press fingers to his neck. He glanced up at Jake and shook his head.

  “He’s dead?” Emma asked, her voice quivering. “I killed him?”

  “Shh… It’s okay. It’s over now.” Jake turned her away, breaking her trancelike gaze from the body.

  Her eyes flared wide. “Where’s Adam?”

  “On the way to the hospital.” Jake ran his hand along the back of her head and felt blood. Not much, but she’d likely suffered a concussion. “We need to get you there, too.”

  The roaring engines from several more police cars filled the air, along with the sounds of a dog barking in the brush.

  Emma slumped against him, her big brown eyes distant. “I killed Matt.”

  Jake pulled her to him with his hand still at the back of her head. “Emma, you didn’t do anything wrong. You saved my life.” He kept an arm firmly around her, slid his hand to her neck where her pulse raced beneath his fingertips. She was in shock. He’d seen it before, been there a couple times himself. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”

  She didn’t answer. Her eyes were still locked on Sommers’s body, and she flinched as several officers raced into the clearing with their guns drawn before Perez instructed them to lower their weapons.

  Jake ran his hands up and down her arms. The color was returning to her cheeks, but her breathing remained thready. “Can you walk? Can you make it back to the road?” He lifted her chin to make sure she was still with him, but her eyes were glassy and distant. He pulled her against his chest once more.

  Perez approached, holstering his service weapon. “You two all right?”

  “I think so,” Jake replied, still holding her tight.

  “This your girl?”

  Jake nodded. “Emma, Sergeant Mike Perez. Mike, this is Emma.”

  Mike placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “You’re a damn good shot.”

  She pulled away from Jake, her face blank with horror. “I didn’t mean to kill him.” She turned to Jake again. “He had a gun to your head.”

  “Hey, no judgment here,” Mike insisted, holding up his hands, palms out. “I would’ve taken him out, too, if I’d had a chance.” He turned to Jake and said, “Got an ambo coming. We’ve got it from here.”

  “I need to call my lieutenant—”

  “Relax, Jake,” Mike insisted. “This ain’t your jurisdiction, buddy. We got everything covered. You’ve had enough excitement for one night. We’ll get you outta here as soon as possible.” He patted Jake firmly on his shoulder, then headed back toward the other officers.

  Emma blinked a few times and finally met Jake’s gaze. “What happens now?”

  “We’ll have to answer a bunch of questions. But you did exactly the right thing. Do you understand me?”

  She nodded slowly, her gaze falling to his chest as she took a deep breath. “He killed Justin.”

  “I know.”

  “And all those women.”

  He squeezed her hand lightly. “Yeah. I know.”

  Tears flooded her eyes. “He killed them because of me.”

  “No, baby.” Jake laid his hand on her cheek again, brushing her tears away with his thumb. “You can’t think like that.” Her tortured expression was so far removed from the quiet strength he’d come to expect from her. He touched his lips to her forehead, kept them there for a long moment. “He killed them because he was a sick, sick man. No other reason.”

  She pulled back and gazed up at Jake. “I should’ve listened to you all along.”

  He swallowed hard, held both of her hands and lowered his voice. “Don’t do that to yourself. You had no reason to think it was him.”

  She released a long breath and nodded again, though her expression remained uncertain. “I suppose.”

  He gripped her hands and brought them to his lips. “I love you, Emma.” He kissed her gently to let the words sink in. “Come here.” He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and the other around her waist, completely enveloping her. “I promise you, the worst is over now.”

  Chapter Sixty-Eight

  Emma sat silently in the passenger seat of Jake’s SUV as he drove them back to the city. After the emergency room doctors had cleared her with a minor concussion, he had taken her to the local police station where they’d spent the last several hours giving their statements. She’d been told there might be more questions for her, but she wouldn’t face charges for what she’d done to stop Matt from killing Jake.

  She was no longer in danger. It was hard to believe the terror she’d lived with for the past couple of months was finally over, and she was free to leave. Free to go back to the city or anywhere else, free to do whatever she wanted from here.

  But none of that felt like it mattered anymore.

  Matt was a murderer, and now he was dead. Warring emotions filled her. She’d trusted him so completely. She doubted she’d ever be able to trust anyone again. How could she even trust herself, when her judgment was so horrible? She’d made nothing but bad choices—from her education, to her career, to her love life—and ended up having to kill her best friend.

  Nothing made sense, and there was no way to go back to life as usual.

  Jake parked outside Lauren’s brownstone and came around
to help Emma out of the SUV. He walked her up the steps and rang the bell, then turned to her as they waited for Lauren to open the door. “I’ll pick you up when I’m done at the precinct. I should only be a few hours—”

  “Don’t,” she blurted out. “I’m going to stay here for a while.”

  His jaw dropped, and his mouth hung open for a split second. “Okay. I can come back later tonight—”

  “No,” she said, shaking her head. “I mean, I’m going to stay with Lauren for a while. You’ve been so good to me through all of this, but you don’t have to protect me anymore. I need to figure out how to take care of myself again.”

  His eyes filled with agony as they searched hers. He deserved more of an explanation, but she didn’t have one to give him. She just knew this was for the best. She turned her head. If she looked into his blue eyes a moment longer, she’d never be able to walk away.

  The wooden door swung open, and Lauren emerged, her usual bubbly self. “Hey, guys,” she said in a sing-song voice before she caught the negative vibe between them. “Everything okay?”

  “I’ll explain in a minute,” Emma said.

  “Emma, don’t do this.” Jake gripped her arm, but she gently pushed his hand away.

  “I’ll work out a time to come get my things. Thank you, Jake. Goodbye.”

  And then she hurried inside before the tears overwhelmed her.

  Chapter Sixty-Nine

  Emma ran inside so fast, Jake couldn’t do anything but stare after her, completely blindsided.

  He’d been so sure she felt the same way about him, so sure she’d come to love him, too. He’d thought losing her sometime down the road would crush him. How wrong he’d been. Knowing she didn’t want him now hurt more than he could bear.

  Stunned, he climbed into the SUV, folded his arms over the steering wheel, and hung his head. He shouldn’t have told her how he felt so soon. Should’ve waited until everything was back to normal again…if that was even possible for her. How could she ever feel normal again after what she’d just gone through?

  Besides, his normal clearly wasn’t what she wanted for her life. He should have listened to himself. He’d never thought he would find a woman willing to put up with him and his intense career. He’d known all along he didn’t have much to offer Emma, and he’d been skating on thin ice, just hoping she wouldn’t realize it, too.

  He swallowed it all down, refusing to give in to the devastation that threatened to tear him apart, and headed back to the precinct. Mack and O’Shea were waiting for him there, eager to tie up whatever loose ends they could on the Back-Alley Strangler case. He’d have plenty of time to think about how badly he’d screwed up with Emma when he returned to his torturously empty apartment later.

  Much later.

  He stepped into the main room at the precinct, tossed his keys on his desk, and spotted Mack near the evidence board, standing next to a tall, gray-haired man.

  “Here he is,” Mack said, gesturing in Jake’s direction.

  The gray-haired man turned. Great. Nathan Windsor.

  Justin Windsor’s father had aged more than the three years it had been since Jake last saw him. His eyes sat deeper under his thickened brows, his shoulders stooped more than they used to. Losing someone you loved could do that to a person. Jake had seen it in his own father. He’d fought against it himself.

  “Detective Quinn.” Windsor extended his hand toward Jake. “Nice to see you again.”

  Jake accepted the handshake and responded evenly, “Mr. Windsor.”

  Windsor eyed him up and down. Jake sensed the disdain Emma’s former father-in-law-to-be had for him, like a tangible entity that had hung between them since they first met. Windsor’s sharp, gray three-piece business suit and perfectly groomed silver hair provided quite a contrast to Jake’s current appearance. His heavily wrinkled dress shirt and two days’ worth of beard scruff weren’t going to win him any points.

  “Please, call me Nate.” Windsor swung a hand toward the hallway that led to the interview rooms. “Do you have a minute, Detective?”

  Jake stepped back, physically thrown off balance by the lack of anger in Windsor’s tone. “Yes, of course. And…it’s Jake.”

  They walked down the hall into one of the small rooms. Jake closed the door and faced Windsor—Nate—who wore the slightest hint of approval on his face. “You’ve finally put an end to the uncertainty. My son can rest now.”

  Jake gave a sharp nod. “It was a difficult case.”

  “It was. I have to say, this was not an outcome I’d ever expected. We’d met that monster several times over the years and suspected nothing. I’m absolutely stunned.”

  Stunned didn’t begin to cover what Jake was feeling.

  Nate turned toward the one-way glass on the far wall, examining his reflection in the mirrored surface as if seeing for the first time the lines and shadows Jake had noticed. “I want to thank you for all you’ve done for Emma.”

  “I’m not exactly sure what you’re thanking me for,” Jake said solemnly, his gaze drifting toward the floor. “I feel like I completely failed her.”

  “Well, it’s true, if Sommers had been in jail a long time ag—”

  Jake’s attention snapped back to Windsor. “Don’t think for one second I’ll ever forgive myself that he wasn’t. I know I could have prevented these killings if I’d put him away three years ago. You can’t possibly blame me more than I blame myself.”

  A grim smile crossed the other man’s face. “I didn’t actually come here to lay blame. I know things didn’t go the way you wanted them to, either.”

  Windsor had no idea how much truth lay in his statement. None of it had gone the way Jake had hoped it would. He’d wanted to catch the bastard and put him away before he took any more lives. Before he’d gotten to Emma. “I had no intention of ever letting the killer get close to her.”

  “And I’m guessing if she’d listened to you, he never would have.” Nate went to the mirrored window again, gazing absently as he contemplated his words. “Emma’s always had a bit of an independent streak. Used to make my son crazy. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that.”

  Her independent streak was one of the things he loved most about her, especially knowing how the Windsor family had tried to drive it out of her. “No, sir, you don’t.”

  Nate faced him once more. “I’ve talked to Benjamin, and I know what’s going on between you and Emma. You need to understand how much that young lady means to me and my family. When she said yes to marrying my son, she became one of mine and that’s not going to change, even if she is with you now.”

  Jake opened his mouth to correct the man but clamped down the urge. Whether or not Emma was with him was none of Windsor’s business.

  “My son only wanted the best for her,” Nate continued, “and I intend to see that she gets it. I hope that’s not a problem.”

  “No, it’s not,” Jake assured him, though he doubted it was what she wanted. “I know she doesn’t have much in the way of family, and I know you all mean a lot to her.” What wasn’t clear was how much the Windsor family would still mean to her. “If you’re insinuating that I would somehow deliberately prevent her from seeing you? Well, I won’t take it personally. You obviously don’t know a damn thing about me. I care about Emma very much, and I’ll do whatever I can to make sure she gets what she wants. With all due respect, I hope that’s not a problem for you.”

  Nate moved closer, standing just a foot away from Jake as he sized him up once again. It wasn’t the first time Windsor had given him the once-over, but Jake did his best to stand tall. Without a doubt, Windsor questioned his abilities—not only as an officer of the law, but also his ability to protect Emma—almost as much as Jake questioned them himself. But he wouldn’t have to worry about making those mistakes with her anymore.

  Windsor gave Jake a firm and un
expected smack on the shoulder. “Not a problem at all, son. I like your style. You take good care of my girl, and we’ll all get along just fine.”

  Jake followed him out of the room, watched him head toward the front desk and stop to greet O’Shea with a handshake and a quick exchange.

  Jake returned to Mack’s desk. “What the hell was he doing here?”

  “Said he wanted to congratulate you on the case,” Mack replied. “That what he did?”

  Jake shook his head with a disgusted grunt. “Maybe it was his idea of congratulations.”

  O’Shea appeared at Jake’s side. “Seems his idea of congratulations is a nice fat check to the police foundation. Nice work, Quinn.”

  Jake met Mack’s gaze, knowing his partner shared his revulsion.

  “Why don’t you get the hell out of here,” O’Shea said. “Maybe use some of that vacation time you’ve got squirreled away and go be with Ms. Sloane for a while. You two seem like you make a nice couple.”

  Jake jerked his gaze back to the lieutenant.

  “What?” O’Shea said. “You don’t get to be a lieutenant in the NYPD homicide division without being able to pick up on a clue or three.”

  Jake shook his head and let out an incredulous laugh of relief. Spending a few days with Emma would be great…if only he could get her to talk to him.

  He headed out amid his colleagues’ praise and congratulatory shoulder slaps, reigning in his impatience. For the first time in his career, he didn’t feel the usual sense of accomplishment at the end of a case. Yes, he’d smoothed things over with Windsor, gotten the Back-Alley Strangler off the streets of New York City, and had all but secured his spot in the next round of promotions. But at what cost? It all felt meaningless without Emma.

  When he got back to his apartment, he dropped onto his sofa, torn over whether or not to go to her.

  He refused to believe what they’d shared meant nothing to her, that she’d just used him for a cheap thrill to pass the time until this mess was over. If that was all it had been…talk about karma kicking you in the ass. If he could just talk to her, maybe he could find out what was holding her back, when he’d thought things were finally on the right track between them. He’d give anything to have her back in his arms.