When His Dreams Take Flight

by Andy Holloman

  Stick frowned, “Stop asking me that. I take the damn pills every day, even though they make me all foggy and shit.” Stick turned sideways in his seat. “Smithson’s gonna pay.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I know.” Timmie put his elbows on the table and leaned in closer. “Dad, you gotta drop this. I miss Mom every day. Still have dreams about her sometimes. But getting yourself put back in jail just because you want some revenge on Smithson ain’t gonna be worth it.”

  “No one’s gonna get put back in jail.”

  Timmie whispered, “How ‘bout if you just beat up Principal Nick?”

  “I’ve got no beef with that guy.”

  “But I do. What about that?”

  Stick turned back to the table. “You deserved to get punched in the face by what you told me.”

  “Shit, Dad, whose side are you on?”

  “Yours, son. I’m always on your side.” Stick looked around the room. “Sorry.”

  “So when is your exact release date?”

  “April 28th. One month to go. Funny, ‘cause there are a couple of things I’m going to miss about this place.”

  “Like what?”

  “I got friends here, son. Good friends. Solid guys I can count on. Also, I learned a lot. Had time to study, learned about computers. I made this time pay off for me and for you.”

  “Yeah, but you’re not saying you’d trade all those good things for being free?”

  “No way.” Stick scratched his face. “I’m definitely ready to be out. I just want you to understand that you gotta make the best of the circumstances that life gives you.”

  Timmie smiled, “Well, you certainly did. And what happens when you get released?”

  “Well, one condition of my early release is that I have to stay in a halfway house for six months here in Raleigh. That way, they can keep close tabs on me. Bet you didn’t know that the recidivism rate for folks like me is close to seventy percent.”

  “What the hell kinda word is that? Reci-da-what?”

  “Recidivism. Means to re-offend. Get locked up again.” Stick smiled, “Hey, told you I was getting smart.”

  “What can you do while you’re in this halfway house?” asked Timmie.

  “Try to get a job. That’ll be hard. But they want us to find work. I’ll be in the library a lot using the computers to look for work. They don’t let you have much free time. Gotta be back home at eight o’clock. The guys at the house run a tight ship. But still, I’ll be free.”

  “Sounds good.” Timmie leaned back in his chair. “I’ve got a gift for you when you get out.”

  “Alright. Can you tell me what it is or is it a secret?”

  “You can have my old laptop.”

  “Well, damn, son. That’ll be a perfect gift. I can use it to look for a job.”

  “Cool. I’ll bring it to you when I come pick you up next month.”

  “Thanks, son, that’ll be great. I owe you one.”

  Timmie rubbed his chin. “Well, since you brought it up, um, I really need some advice on something.”

  “Who’s the girl?”

  “How’d ya know I was going to ask you about a girl?”

  “I could just tell. Who is it?”

  “Jodie Hughes.”

  “You mean Jocellynn’s chubby little sister?”

  “Yeah, that’s her. She is on the heavy side. But still nice. And smart.”

  “So what exactly is going on with this girl?”

  “Nothing’s going on. I mean, we’re friends, but she’s just, I mean she keeps calling and texting me.” Timmie scratched the side of his head. “And saying things.”

  “Hmm, what kinda things?”

  “It’s, uh, I don’t know, just things. Like about sex.”

  “And she’s calling you a lot?

  “Yeah. Couple times a week.”

  “So do you like her?”

  “She’s okay.”

  Stick leaned back in his chair and glanced at the ceiling. “Then you need to be real careful. Jocellynn’s been good to our family and this is her little sister, so don’t go doing anything with her.” He leaned forward and whispered, “Unless you’re telling me that you already have?”

  Timmie shook his head. “No, I haven’t done anything with her. Not even kissing.”

  “That’s good. Keep it that way. But also, let her down easy. Don’t be rude or mean or anything like that.”

  “I wouldn’t do that. Like I said, she’s nice.”

  Stick looked over at the next table. A couple sat together, holding hands and kissing. “So, lemme ask you this because you and I haven’t had much opportunity to talk about things with girls and stuff like that. Have you had sex with anyone yet?”

  Timmie leaned back. “Damn, Dad. That’s kinda personal, ain’t it?”

  “Yeah, it is,” Stick whispered. “But who else are you going to talk about these things with? Your friends don’t have any experience, at least not enough. And you know your grandma ain’t gonna be helpful.”

  Timmie laughed, “Guess you’re right about that.”

  “So, are you a virgin still?”

  Timmie looked around the room and then down at his hands. “Yeah.”

  “But maybe you’ve gotten close?”

  “Kinda. Julie Johnson and I were making out and we, I mean, I don’t know. How much do you want know?”

  “Just use the old first base, second base thing.”

  “Well, we got to third base.”

  “Okay. That’s how things get started.” Stick lowered his voice again. “You got some condoms?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, at least you’re thinking. I mean, be sure to let your big head do the thinking, not your little head. Ever heard that phrase?”

  “Yeah, I know that one. I just haven’t had much, well, you know, opportunity.”

  “I know, son. But you will. You’re a good looking kid and there’s a natural course to these things. So it’ll be happening for you soon. You just gotta be real careful. When I was growing up, there were a couple of girls that got pregnant young and some of them got married young. But things just didn’t work out for them. They’re stuck in life because they had to raise a kid. Couldn’t go to college and so they just took whatever job they could find. Most of them got divorced. Don’t get anyone pregnant.”

  “I won’t.”

  “I mean, sex and all that stuff’s just a part of life, and you’re gonna enjoy it just like we all do. And that doesn’t just go for men. Women like it just as much as we do. But there’s a big problem when you get someone pregnant. You gotta take responsibility for that little baby you made.” Stick tapped his finger on the table. “And if it ever happens to you, don’t ever, ever think about getting an abortion. I would have to, I don’t know, I might not ever be able to speak to you again.”

  “That’s never going to happen, Dad.”

  “Okay. Just wanted to get that out there.” Stick smiled. “I mean, kids are great and everything, but you want kids to show up because you planned on it, not just because you got carried away one night. Or because you got drunk or some girl gets drunk. Watch out for that, too. I mean that’s just—”

  “Okay, Dad, I get the message.” He looked around the room and then back at Stick. “It’s just that, well, how do you know when it’s the right person?”

  “Well, for me, it was easy because I knew that I loved your Mom from the first time I ever met her. She and I just were made for each other. I think you’ll know when it’s the right person.”

  “I hope so. I think about it all the time.”

  “Well, that’s just normal for kids. Same thing happened to me. I think I spent almost all of high school walking around with a load of wood in my pants. And still, don’t be thinking that you’ll be good at it right away. It’s one of those things that take practice. ‘Course getting in lots of practice is pretty damn fun.” Stick laughed.

  “Okay, Dad, I don’t need you to give me a lot of details.”<
br />
  “Well, I’m just saying, son. Take me, for example. I was a virgin when I met your mother. So when things heated up for us, well, let’s just say that at first, I wasn’t no rock star in the bedroom. But your mom and I, we loved each other, so we learned. I mean, mostly I had to learn. She was more experienced than me.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. She’d had a couple of boyfriends before I met her. But me, I was really awkward around girls at your age.”

  “Like me?”

  “Nah. I doubt you’re as bad as I was. Plus you’re a lot better looking than I was at your age.”

  “But I feel awkward. I mean, umm, I just kinda stutter around girls that I try to talk to. I never know what to say to them.”

  “I understand. But you’ll get better. Anyway, don’t you kids just like to text and email each other? Do you really have to do a lot of talking face-to-face?”

  “Sure we text each other a lot. That’s the easy part. It’s just that when I’m around them, well, I get, you know, nervous.”

  “I get it, son. Just remember it’s the same for them.”

  “So then, like, what do I say? What kinda things are you supposed to talk to them about?”

  “Just let them do most of the talking. Nod your head and ask questions. You know how women love to talk.” Timmie nodded. “I always found that I didn’t have to say a whole lot. I just paid close attention and tried hard to listen.”

  “But still, I mean, they ask me questions and sometimes they’re waitin’ on me to answer or talk or something.”

  “I know, I know. So do the best you can. Here’s a trick I learned. Go ahead and tell ‘em that you’re a little nervous. Just admit that you ain’t so good at talking to girls. I found out that they like that. When you do that, you’re kinda saying that you like ‘em because they make you a little nervous.”

  “Yeah, good idea. So I’ll just say that I’m sorry, or something like that, and tell ‘em that I get all nervous when I talk to girls.”

  “Just try to make it natural. You know, just being yourself is important. It gets easier.”

  Timmie smiled. “Thanks, Dad. You helped a lot.”

  “Glad to do it, son. Sorry I haven’t been around to help you more with this stuff.

  “That’s okay Dad.”

  “Nice of you to say that son. You’re a good boy.”

  Timmie stood up and held out his hand. “I’m gonna hit the road now. I’ll be back to pick you up in a month.”

  “You betcha, son. You take care. Your Dad’s coming home soon.

  XIII - April 6

  On a rainy Saturday night, he knocked on her apartment door. He had flowers. This was the second time she had invited him over to enjoy a meal that she prepared. She was much more about going out to eat rather than cooking herself. If his first invitation to eat a meal prepared by her was any indication, there was no doubt she had something important on her mind.

  Allison greeted him with a big smile. “Nickie, my sweet, please come in.”

  “Hi, beautiful!” He leaned down and kissed her lips. She reached around his back, trying to find what he seemed to be hiding there. He pulled away. “Hold on a sec. Are you trying to find out what I’ve brought you?”

  “Well, of course I am,” she said. She moved to her left and tried to reach around. He moved with her to block her grasp. She attempted to go around the other side and he moved again. “C’mon, Nickie,” she pleaded. He brought the bouquet of yellow roses from behind his back and she snatched them from his hands. “Yellow roses, oh my, Nickie. You are so thoughtful. These are my favorites!” She put her free hand around his back and stood up on her tiptoes. He leaned over for another kiss. It was deep and long.

  He pulled back. “Whew. God, you are such a good kisser, my little freckled fairy.” He touched his jaw and shifted it from side to side. “Holy crap, my mouth is all tingly. You just gave me a serious case of mush-mouth.”

  She tapped his arm. “You’re such a charmer, Mr. Townsend. How do you know all the right things to say to a girl?”

  “Honestly, babe, I couldn’t be more serious. Your kisses are the sweetest, sexiest kisses I’ve ever had.” He leaned in and put his forehead against hers. “So, can the guy that you just set on fire with your hot little mouth please have a glass of cold water to cool down?”

  “Of course, my hot stud. C’mon in.” She took his hand and led him to the couch. “I’ll be right back with your water. I’ve got something to talk to you about.” She returned to the couch and handed him a glass of water. She sat down beside him and watched him drink the entire glass.

  “I’ve been thinking about the best way to tell you this, so I’m just gonna blurt it out.”

  “Okay, my lovely. Fire away.”

  Her face flushed. “Nickie, I’m pregnant.” His eyes and mouth widened and he looked down at her stomach.

  “Oh my god! Pregnant?” He stood up and walked a few steps away. He turned back to her. “I—I mean, that’s so wonderful.”

  “It is, Nickie. It is wonderful.”

  “Me, a dad? I’m going to be a father?”

  “Yes, you are. And you’re going to be a great father.”

  He paced in front of her. “But how did it happen? You’re always so, so careful about birth control.”

  “I know, I know. I did everything I normally do. I guess it just, well, something must have gone wrong.”

  “Oh god, you mean I’m going to be a father?” A big smile grew on her face and she nodded. She began to cry. He kneeled down in front of her and hugged her.

  She leaned back on the couch. “Oh, Nickie, I’m, I mean, I didn’t want this to happen, but it has, and I’ve been thinking so much about how to tell you, and when, and what you would say. This is just such a big thing and I want us to talk and talk about what to do and what you want. I just think—”

  “That we should get married,” he said.

  Her eyes grew wide, “Oh gosh, I mean, that’s wonderful and everything, but don’t you, I mean, don’t we need to let this sink in for a little while and not just rush into something?” He took her hand in his.

  “Allison Tucker, love of my life, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. There’s nothing that would make me happier than to be with you forever.”

  She sniffled and he touched a tear on her cheek and placed it on his lips. Then he kissed her and she began to cry harder. “Oh god, Nickie. I feel the same way. I mean, well, sometimes I know that I seem a little cautious, umm, when it comes to your problem and everything, but—” She started fanning her face. “I didn’t mean to cry. I told myself that I needed to be practical about all this and just tell you the news and then we could talk. But I’ve just been more emotional about everything these past few months, you know with all the hormones pinging around in me and—”

  His head jerked back. “Past few months? How far along are you?

  “Fourteen weeks.”

  “Fourteen weeks? You’ve known this for more than three months and you’re just telling me now?” He stood up and moved back from her. She followed him and took his hands.

  “Oh, Nickie, don’t get mad, please. I can explain.”

  “Yes, I think you should.” He pulled his hands away and returned to the sofa. She sat down beside him. “But you’re not even showing yet.”

  She looked down at her stomach, “Well, I am, but just a little. I wanted to be really careful, so I tried not to get my hopes up, because you know sometimes the pregnancy doesn’t work out. I mean, I did think about it, because you know, I’ve always wanted to have children. Both my parents are gone and I don’t have any brothers or sisters. I’m all alone in this world. So I have to have a family, and hopefully a big one. You’ve still got your parents.”

  “Sweetie, you are not all alone in this world. But you still didn’t tell me.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Why?”

  “So, I’m going to be honest with you and I hope that you will just
let me explain.” She looked down at her hands. “Promise that you won’t get mad.”

  “I’m not going to promise. But I do want you to explain.”

  “I just didn’t feel like I could predict how you were going to react. Then your ex shows up out of nowhere and we’re fighting about her.”

  “Okay, that’s true, I get that.”

  “And you remember when we broke up last year. I had to think about the things that happened then and your problem.”

  He frowned. “Yeah, that’s true. It was a really hard time for me.”

  “And I know that your problem will be there and will be something that you’ll have to deal with, I mean that we have to deal with. And I want you to know that I’ll always be there to help you. Just like I said the first time you told me about it.”

  He took her hand. “I really love you for saying that. It’s gotta be hard to have someone like me in your life that’s dealing with alcoholism and here you are stuck, trying to plan a future, and now a future with a baby.”

  “It is Nickie, but all couples have to face challenges. All of us have difficult things that have to be dealt with.”

  “That’s true.”

  “And the other reason I waited to tell you was, well, like I said earlier, some pregnancies don’t work out. My father told me that my mother miscarried three times before I was born, so I was trying to be careful about getting my hopes up. It’s just that things don’t always go as planned.”

  His head tilted. “Umm, what do you mean by ‘as planned’?”

  She blushed, “Well, I mean, I don’t mean like it was something that I was planning on.” She got up off the couch and got a glass of water. “Really, I wasn’t trying to do anything like, like trying to get pregnant and trap you into something that you didn’t want.” She took a long sip of water.

  “I’m not saying that you did that.”

  “I swear to you that it was an accident. Plus, I was prepared for whatever reaction you had. I mean, you reacted the way that I had hoped for, but if this wasn’t going to be right for you or you were uncertain or anything like that, I was prepared to go it alone.”

  His face softened. “I guess I can understand all those things. But now that you’ve told me, and you see how I am about it, aren’t you happy?”