The Cockney Girl

by The Cockney Girl (retail) (epub)

  ‘I wanna bring her up proper, Mum, like yer brought us up. But I don’t know if I could put up with what you an’ Leonore ’ad to. Dad never ’ere, an’ ’er old man always on the booze.’

  ‘It don’t ’ave to be like that, Jess.’

  ‘Don’t it? Just look down this street.’

  ‘No, you look, Jess. Look at the future with no money an’ no ’ome for yer baby.’

  ‘I’m too tired to think straight. I’m goin’ up.’ Jess bent forward to kiss her mother.

  ‘Yer was always stubborn, Jess, but I never thought yer was stupid.’

  ‘Don’t, Mum, please.’ Jess took the letter from behind the clock on the mantelshelf and slipped it into her pocket.

  ‘That one of the letters from Robert?’

  ‘No. It’s a letter I wrote to our Charlie. I’m gonna post it in the mornin’.’

  * * *

  Jess woke up early. She didn’t want to disturb Sylvia or wake Rose before it was time for her to go to work, so she decided to get dressed and go outside for some fresh air. As soon as the post office was open she would get the stamps for her letter to Chicago.

  She shivered as she stepped into the street.

  ‘It’s cold. You need a scarf on a morning like this. Here, take mine.’

  ‘What’re yer doin’ ’ere?’ she asked, shoving the offered scarf away.

  ‘I told you I’d be back,’ Robert said, shrugging.

  ‘I didn’t think yer meant this early.’

  ‘I couldn’t sleep.’

  ‘Nor could I.’ Jess fingered the letter in her coat pocket. ‘I’ve got to go up the road.’

  ‘I’ll walk with you.’

  ‘If yer like.’

  ‘Have you thought about what I said, Jess?’

  ‘All night.’

  ‘Well? What have you decided?’

  ‘I’ve decided I won’t ’ave much chance livin’ ’ere on me own with Sylvia.’

  ‘You mean you’ll marry me?’ Robert took her by the shoulders and pulled her towards him. ‘Jess, that’s wonderful.’

  ‘I never said that, an’ I told yer before, keep yer ’ands off.’

  Robert kept hold of her. ‘So what exactly are you saying, Jess?’

  ‘I’ll ’ave more chance in Chicago, that’s what. Me brother Charlie’s always said I’ll be welcome to stay with ’im. An’ now ’e’s opened ’is club at last, ’e’ll be able to give me a job an’ all.’ She took a deep breath and lied. ‘So I sent ’im a letter last week, tellin’ ’im all about Sylvia an’ sayin’ I’m goin’ over there. Soon as I can.’

  ‘Is Rose going with you?’

  ‘No, she’s stayin’ at ’ome with Ted. ’E won’t wanna travel nowhere for a long time. Perhaps one day they’ll go. I dunno. That’s up to them.’

  ‘You’re going alone?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘You’ve got someone else, haven’t you?’ Robert gripped her arms even tighter. ‘Who is it, Jess? Who are you going with? Tell me.’

  ‘I’m going with me daughter, if yer must know.’ Jess pulled away from him and walked off, rubbing her arms. ‘Yer bloody ’urt me.’

  ‘Our daughter, Jess. Our daughter,’ he called after her. Robert watched her as she went along the street towards the market. ‘I won’t let you leave me, Jess.’

  Jess kept walking, biting her lip to stop herself from screaming with the pain, hurt and confusion of it all. If he had known that the letter was still in her pocket he would have stopped her. She couldn’t let him do that. This was her only chance. She had to be strong.

  Chapter 20

  A New Life

  Robert Worlington became a familiar figure in Burton Street as he kept his vigil outside Number 8 waiting to speak to Jess. On the way to buy his newspaper, Ted would wish him a resigned ‘Good mornin’’, and even offer his condolences for what he considered to be his sister’s stupid behaviour.

  ‘Yer know I’d marry yer meself if yer’d ’ave me, Robert,’ he’d said one night in The Star. ‘Yer a decent bloke, I reckon. Yer never bother Sylvia or me mum. I like that. An’ yer never lose yer temper with our Jess. An’ that takes some doin’. ‘Specially when she’s behavin’ so pig-headed. ’Ave another drink, mate.’

  Florrie Baxter had been there that night in The Star, craning her neck and straining her ears to glean what she could from their conversation; she’d been spending every spare moment doing her best to discover the identity of Jess’s mysterious suitor. She had various theories, but anyone who had any information was not sharing it with her. One morning she had a lucky break while she was sweeping the pavement outside her front door – while she was ‘on nose-ointment patrol’ as Elsie always called Florrie’s half-hearted outdoor cleaning efforts.

  ‘Can I ’elp yer?’ she called across to the expensively dressed woman on the other side of the street.

  The woman never had the chance to reply. Before she had opened her mouth, Florrie dropped her broom to the ground and was halfway across the street.

  ‘’Ang on, I remember yer. Yer visited Rose that time, didn’t yer. When ’er Jess was away.’

  Realising it was Mrs Baxter, Leonore hurried on, doing her best to avoid another encounter with the garrulous woman. But Florrie would not be put off so easily.

  ‘I’ve got it!’ she yelled triumphantly. ‘I know ’oo you are now. Gaw blimey, ’oo’d ’ave thought it? Yer only Lady Worlington, ain’t yer? An’ yer said yer was the charity lady.’ Florrie narrowed her eyes suspiciously. ‘’Ere. What’s goin’ on?’

  Robert could not have made a worse-timed entrance into Burton Street if he had tried. ‘Sorry, Mother,’ he called, sprinting towards Leonore. ‘I didn’t expect you for another hour.’ He took her by the shoulders and kissed her fondly on the cheek. ‘I’m so pleased you’ve come.’

  ‘Mother! So that’s ’oo ’e is. Yer bloody son!’

  Florrie’s mouth was so wide open that her chin was almost touching her chest by the time Rose had opened her street door to let Leonore and Robert inside. The door was then closed firmly in Florrie’s face.

  ‘What a bloody turn-out. Elsie! Elsie! Quick. Yer’ll never guess what’s ’appened,’ she hollered as she ran along the terrace to the Dorkins’ house.

  * * *

  ‘Won’t yer sit down.’ Rose pointed to the two over-stuffed armchairs that stood on either side of the fireplace in the front parlour. ‘It’s a bit cold in ’ere. We don’t use this room much no more.’

  ‘The days are getting warmer though,’ said Leonore politely.

  ‘Yeh, they are,’ said Rose. ‘I’ll get Jessie to fetch a couple of chairs from out the back, then we can talk.’

  ‘It would be fine in the kitchen if you’d rather,’ said Leonore.

  ‘No. We’re better in ’ere. Ted’s givin’ Sylvia ’er breakfast in there. I don’t think she should ’ear none of this.’

  ‘Oh, of course,’ agreed Leonore. ‘How is she, Rose?’

  ‘She’s a fine girl, Leonore,’ she said looking at Robert. ‘Like ’er mother.’ Then she left the room to fetch Jess and the chairs.

  ‘I’m really glad you came, Ma.’

  ‘You only had to ask me, Robert. You know that.’

  ‘I know, but thank you anyway. You see, Jessie trusts you. Perhaps you can make her see sense. Make her change her mind.’

  ‘Robert, I’m not here to interfere in your lives. I’m here because I care what happens to you all. And because I’m Sylvia’s grandmother. What actually happens is not up to me.’

  The door opened and Jess came in carrying the kitchen chairs. Robert rushed to her side and tried to take them from her.

  ‘I can manage,’ she said, snatching them back from him. ‘’Ere, sit down, Mum.’

  ‘Ta, Jess. Right. So what’s all this in aid of then?’

  ‘Mrs Fairleigh,’ said Robert, ‘I want to persuade Jess to marry me.’

  ‘Yer ain’t going over all that again are yer?’ said Jess wearily
.

  Robert ignored her interruption and concentrated on speaking to Rose. ‘Even if she doesn’t love me, I want to make up for what has happened. I can make life easier for her. And for Sylvia.’

  Jess rolled her eyes and tutted impatiently.

  ‘It won’t be easy without a husband. And,’ he looked at Jess, ‘perhaps she could grow to love me, or become fond of me at least.’

  ‘Jess knows what I think,’ said Rose.

  ‘Yes?’ said Robert expectantly.

  ‘I’m sure yer already know an’ all, Robert. Ted must ’ave told yer. I agree with yer, an’ I’d feel more settled knowin’ Jess an’ ’er young ’un would be looked after.’

  Robert looked triumphant, feeling he had won an important point, but his face fell as she continued.

  ‘Even though I don’t think much of ’ow yer carried on in the past. But the past is the past. It’s the future what worries me now.’

  ‘Mum.’

  ‘I’ve told yer, Jess, yer’ve got to be realistic in this life.’

  ‘Leonore?’ pleaded Jess. ‘Yer on me side, ain’t yer?’

  ‘I’m on no one’s side, Jess. I only want what’s best.’

  ‘Yer right, Leonore,’ said Rose, ‘an’ times are gettin’ ’arder for us all round ’ere. I know what it’s like to go without so me kids can eat.’

  ‘An’ I know what it’s like to be poor an’ all, Mum. I know what it’s like to be dumped, don’t I?’ She looked pointedly at Robert. ‘But I know ’ow to earn me own livin’. I’ve always worked, everyone knows that.’

  ‘We are not saying you haven’t, Jess,’ said Leonore. ‘But life for a woman alone with a child is so very hard. I’ve seen the heartache, believe me. Young girls worn out with the effort of it all.’

  ‘Yer’ve told me about all that before,’ said Jess dismissively. ‘Don’t yer think I’ve seen enough of it meself down these streets? The East End’s full of it. Yer talk like yer discovered ’ardship single-’anded.’

  Leonore looked shamefaced and felt foolish that she had dared to preach to Jess about poverty. Jess, who knew more about it than she ever would, no matter how many hours she worked in the Centre.

  ‘Yer watch yer tongue, Jessie,’ Rose said, horrified that her daughter would put on such a show to a guest.

  ‘Sorry, Mum,’ she said. ‘An’ don’t look like that, Leonore. I ain’t bein’ ungrateful to yer. Honest. But I ain’t stayin’ round ’ere, am I? So there’s nothin’ for any of yers to worry about. It’s all sorted out. Mum knows. I’m gonna start a new life in America. Me brother’s only too pleased to ’ave ’is little sister an’ ’er daughter join ’im over there.’ She turned to Robert. ‘Our Charlie’s making a right success of ’imself with this club ’e’s started.’

  ‘Let me come with you, Jess,’ said Robert, grasping at any opportunity. ‘Please.’

  ‘Why should I, eh?’ she asked him. ‘Blimey, yer’ve got some cheek. What ’ave yer ever done but use me? What right ’ave yer even got to ask?’

  Robert dropped his head and buried his face in his hands. He began to cry.

  ‘D’yer wanna see Sylvia?’ said Rose to Leonore. ‘She’ll ’ave finished eatin’ by now.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Leonore simply and followed Rose out of the room.

  Jess sat listening to Robert weep. ‘I dunno what to make of yer,’ she said, ’honest I don’t. What yer did to me, an’ now yer sittin’ ’ere cryin’. I won’t marry yer yer know, Robert. Whatever yer say or do.’

  ‘I know,’ he sobbed. ‘And I don’t want to hurt you again. I only want to be with you and my child.’

  ‘Yer could come with me, yer know,’ she said evenly.

  Robert sat up, blinking away the tears still running down his cheeks. ‘To America, with you and Sylvia?’

  ‘Yeh. I’ve been thinkin’ about it a lot since I got Charlie’s letter.’

  ‘I don’t understand, Jess. You just said I had no right even to ask to go with you.’

  ‘Well, way I figure it, yer Sylvia’s dad when all’s said an’ done. An’ no matter what I think, nothin’ will change that. I loved my ol’ dad, see, an’ perhaps one day she’ll love you. That’s up to ’er. But I reckon she should ’ave the chance to decide for ’erself.’

  ‘Do you mean it, Jess?’

  ‘Yeh, I mean it. You can come with me, but don’t get no ideas.’ She looked at him steadily. ‘No ideas about, yer know, living with me or nothing. We’ll just ’ave to see ’ow it goes on that side of things. Me and Sylvie’ll be stayin’ with Charlie at ’is place, an’ ’e’ll find a room for yer with one of the fellers from the club till yer sorted out. All right?’

  ‘Whatever you say, Jess. So long as I can be with you.’

  ‘An’ I want yer to get it straight, I’m goin’ to America to make a new life. I won’t accept yer pity an’ I don’t want no ’andouts neither. Charlie’s givin’ me a job. I won’t be needin’ none o’ your money.’

  ‘I have no money, Jess.’

  ‘Are yer startin’ again with yer lies? That was the reason yer all said I should marry yer. “Security” for me an’ Sylvia.’

  ‘Jess, don’t get angry again. Please. I’m not lying. I have no Worlington money, I mean.’ Jess went to speak, but Robert carried on. ‘Please listen. When my brother was killed my father went rapidly downhill, rejecting everyone and everything, including me. What with his state of health, and the war, the estate suffered badly, even though Mother did her best. But she has appointed a manager to help her now, and they’ll need whatever money there is to sort the place out. She is determined to get Worlington back in order: to grow food and provide jobs.’

  ‘I wouldn’t put anythin’ past your mother,’ said Jess, her voice showing her affection for Leonore.

  ‘But I don’t need money to prove I’m worthy of you and Sylvia. I’ll work. I’ll help make a new life for both of you.’

  ‘Worlington’s got no ’old at all over yer no more then?’ asked Jess.

  ‘No, no hold. Except my mother being there, of course.’

  ‘An’ Julia what’s’er name don’t want yer to stay there?’

  ‘I have neither seen nor heard from Julia since I went to Belgium. She’s living back in Ireland now with her family.’ He stood up, daring to move closer.

  ‘Jess, if that’s what’s been worrying you.’

  ‘No. I only wanted to know we could start out on equal terms. Nothin’ from our pasts to ’aunt us. I’ve ’ad enough lies an’ ’idin’ to last me a lifetime. I don’t want it no more. For me or for Sylvie.’ Jess stood up. ‘I’ll tell the others to come back in, shall I?’

  A few moments later Rose and Leonore came back into the room, followed by Ted, Jess and Sylvia.

  ‘Well?’ said Rose.

  Jess looked at her little daughter. It was as though she was seeing her properly for the first time; she was so much like Robert. She knelt down and took the child’s hand in hers. ‘Sylvia,’ she said gently, brushing the thick golden curls from her daughter’s forehead, ‘this is yer daddy.’

  ‘Gawd blimey O‘Riley!’ said Ted. ‘I ain’t never known a day like this.’

  Sylvia hid behind Jess and clung to her skirts. ‘Hello,’ she whispered, peering round at the big man who had knelt down beside her and her mother.

  ‘Hello, Sylvia,’ he said.

  * * *

  ‘Please take it, Jess, I really want yer to. Take it for Sylvia, if yer won’t ’ave it for yerself.’

  ‘No, Mum, you keep it. If Charlie left the money with yer, ’e must ’ave meant yer to ’ave it.’

  ‘’E said it was for emergencies, Jess. I never even thought of touchin’ it before, but this is different. Yer gonna be gettin’ on that boat in the mornin’, goin’ all them thousands of miles away from me. Say yer need ’elp an’ I ain’t there for yer. Go on. Please, Jess, take it.’

  ‘Yer know I’ll be all right, Charlie’ll look after me.’

  ‘I know ’e will
, but I wanna do somethin’ for yer, an’ I feel this is a way of…

  ‘Yer’ve done more than enough for me, Mum,’ said Jess smiling tenderly at her. ‘An’ I can be just as stubborn as you can.’

  ‘That’s bloody true,’ piped up Ted.

  ‘Language,’ said Rose. ‘An’ don’t interfere when I’m talking to yer sister.’

  ‘Sorry for breathin’, I’m sure,’ said Ted.

  ‘An’ less of yer lip.’

  ‘Aw, I’m goin’ out.’ He bent down to his little niece. ‘Shall Uncle Ted see if ’e can get yer a little present to take on the boat with yer?’

  Sylvia nodded happily.

  ‘No toffee,’ said Jess.

  ‘An’ they don’t sell toys in The Star,’ said Rose.

  ‘Bloody women,’ murmured Ted as he stomped out of the bedroom.

  ‘What was that you said?’

  ‘Nothin’, Mum,’ said Ted as he clumped noisily down the stairs, slamming the street door before Rose had the chance to tell him not to.

  ‘’E’s done well, ain’t ’e, Mum? Wouldn’t think that arm ’ad been damaged at all the way ’e uses it now. ’E’ll be back at work full-time soon.’

  ‘There’ll always be a place for ’im at the woodyard, they said. So let’s ’ope. Still, we can worry about that another day. Let’s get a move on ’ere or we’ll never ’ave this packin’ finished for the mornin’. That’d be ’andy, if yer missed the boat. Come on, pass us them skirts.’

  Jess handed Rose a pile of neatly folded clothes, which she arranged carefully in the almost full steamer trunk.

  ‘I’ll bet Robert’s already waitin’ down the docks,’ said Rose. ‘Frightened ’e’ll lose yer again. Right taken with yer, that bloke is. Yer a lucky gel, Jess. But for the life of me, I can’t see why yer won’t marry ’im.’

  Jess ignored her mother’s attempts to open up the argument they had been having for the last two months. ‘Doin’ this packin’s like gettin’ ready for ’opping, eh, Mum?’