by Ford, Mia
“Of course I will. And you’ll keep me updated as well?”
“I will.” I give Nadine a massive hug. “Thank you so much for all of this.”
Then I race outside. It isn’t until the air hits me that I realize that I don’t really know where I’m going. I don’t really know what I’m doing, and I’m scared to do this alone. But the only other person that I could do this with is inside looking after Oliver. She’s already doing all that she can for me.
My father, I think to myself impulsively. He could help me.
I don’t know why my brain immediately goes to him, it never would have done in the past, but he’s been good over the last six months. We’re growing closer by the moment and I could use his expertise.
Since I don’t have any other ideas, I roll with it. I go all the way to my father’s home and I rush through the door. No more knocking for me. There, I find my dad all dressed smart, as if he’s about to head out.
“Oh, sorry, Dad,” I gush. “I don’t mean to interrupt. Whatever you’re doing…”
“What’s the matter, Alexa? You look really sick.”
I almost burst in to tears again but I just about manage to hold them inside. “Dad, I’m so scared…”
“Why? What’s going on? You need to tell me, Alexa.”
“I’m pregnant, Dad. And I told Reece which freaked him out. He’s gone missing.”
His face runs through a range of emotions. He deals with the fact that I’m pregnant quicker than I thought he would, and he gets on to the most important thing. “Reece is missing?”
I nod. “He’s scared because of what happened with Christine.”
“Of course he is. I can’t blame him for that. But we need to find him.”
“You’ll help me?” I ask surprised. “You really will?”
My chest warms and swells. The fact that he would just offer that without me having to ask is huge.
“Of course I will, Alexa.”
His support feels amazing, especially since I have lived most of my life without it. Or it’s felt that way anyway. I think he assumes that what he was doing was support, but it didn’t feel like it.
Dad grabs his car keys and waves them at me. “Come on then, we need to get going. We have to find him. We need to think of all the places that he might be.”
“What are we going to do when we do find him?” I need to ask.
“We will talk some sense in to him, let him know that it’s all going to be fine.”
God, I hope that we can do that. I really hope that I haven’t pushed him too far away with this. I want him to be there with me as we have this baby, I want our family to grow. I know that it’s scary, I’m freaked out too, but there’s a bit of me that’s excited. I hope he has that deep down as well. If so, then we have hope. If not… well, I don’t want to think about that. I want to cling on to the hope that everything will be fine.
“Thanks, Dad, I’m so happy that you’re helping me. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Reece
“Sir, are you sure you wouldn’t like a drink?” the bar maid asks me… again. “It’s just… you’ve been sitting here all night long and you haven’t ordered anything yet. My manager might get a little annoyed if…”
“Water,” I rasp back, my throat dry as a bone. “Water, please. That’s all I want.”
Maybe, since I’ve been in a bar, I should have been drinking alcohol all night long to block all of this out, but I haven’t. I’ve just been sitting here to stop me from wandering the streets, and thinking. Thinking about everything. I’ve also been having a lot of silent conversations with Christine in my head. She keeps switching between warning me to run for the hills so I don’t have to go through the same thing again, and telling me to pull my big boy pants up and to face my responsibility. I have to admit that I think the first voice might be me, and the second one sounds more like her. The sort of thing that she might actually say to me.
The bar maid rolls her eyes and slides a tap water my way. I gulp it back like there’s no tomorrow, like I have been in the desert for years and this is my oasis. I need it to clear my mind before I do anything else. And I do need to move soon, I can’t just sit in this bar forever, waiting for something to happen.
Right… I warn myself with my hands on my knees. Come on, it’s time to face Alexa.
Damn, I am going to have to apologize when I see her again. I know that she’ll probably understand, but that still isn’t good enough. She’s dealing with this shock too, it’s probably worse for her considering it’s happening inside her body, and I just ran away to leave her to deal with it herself. I’m an asshole.
Just as I’m about to rise up, to finally face what I need to do, when light floods the bar. Someone has opened the door and allowed day light inside. I blink a few times, trying to adjust to the new brightness, and soon a face appears in front of me. One that I recognize all too well… the Admiral. Fuck, I’m in trouble again.
“Oh, Reece…” Alexa rushes forwards, pushing her father out of the way. “You’re here, thank God.”
She jumps on me and wraps her arms around me, forgiving me with her actions. Her forgiveness feels incredible, mostly because I know that I don’t deserve it. I hug her tight, allowing her warmth to fill me with reality. I have been sitting in a stew of my imagination for far too long, and it hasn’t been nice.
“I’m so sorry, Alexa, I didn’t mean… I just don’t want to go through… but I don’t want to lose you. And I do want a baby, please don’t think that I don’t, I’m just really scared because of… well, Christine, and…”
She silences me by kissing me hard. “Shh, don’t worry. I understand completely.”
“You do?” I nod slowly. “I know you do, because you’re a wonderful person, Alexa.”
“I love you, Reece, and the only reason that this news freaked me out, is because of you and what happened. But this is an opportunity, this is a chance for us to really move on from the past, together.”
She cups my face in her hands and looks at me. Her gaze pierces all the way through me, making me feel so much better about myself and what’s going on. I might not be a tower of strength right now, but Alexa is being strong for me. This is why we are perfect for each other. Because we are towers for one another, we fill in the gaps, we make one another whole. I didn’t know that it was possible for me to be whole again.
“Yes, okay, Alexa. You are right. I just need…” I suck in a deep breath, trying to cool my body.
“You need some space and some time, that’s it. I get it. But we can work through it together.”
She rests her forehead against mine and we stand like that for a few moments, just blocking the rest of the world out. It feels good to be in a bubble with just me and her. I’m safe here, that’s all that matters. She has me, the love of my life has me safe, and that’s all I need to know. I will be okay.
“Are you ready to leave?” she asks me quietly. “We can get out of here whenever you are ready.”
“What about Oliver?” It hits me that he isn’t here. “Where is he? Is he…?”
“Nadine has him. That girl is an angel, you really need to give her a raise.”
I laugh a little, knowing that she’s probably right. “Yeah, I will, don’t you worry about that.”
I pull my head away from Alexa and see her father. I expect to see disappointment in his eyes because I have undoubtedly let him down again, but he’s smiling at me. He understands me as well. The conversation that we had where he opened up to me just a little bit, has clearly transformed our relationship for the better. I’m glad. That was a difficult chat to have, but I’m glad that we went through that to get to where we are now.
This is it. It hits me hard. This is the moment. The perfectly imperfect moment that I’ve been looking for.
It definitely isn’t right and it isn’t romantic either, but it feels wonderful. And I have the ring which just mak
es it even more incredible. So, without thinking I pull the ring box out of my pocket and I drop to one knee in front of her. Her eyes widen in surprise, she looks stunned to the core, which is understandable considering the roller coaster that I have put her through. But as I smile, she joins in and grins happily as well.
“Alexa Martin, words cannot express how much you mean to me. Every single day you prove to me what an amazing person you are and how much better my life is with you in it.”
She reaches out and holds my hand, tears shining in her eyes. I can feel myself getting choked up as well.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to spend every single day for the rest of my life making you happy, making you feel special, doing for you what you do for me. You… you make me feel safe, even through the most difficult of times, and I love you for that. I love you for everything about you. I want you to be my wife. So, will you do me the honor of agreeing to let that happen? Alexa Martin, will you marry me?”
She gasps at first, trying to wrap her head around the question, so I pop open the ring box and let her see the diamond that I chose just for her, for so many reasons, and I see the joy shine through. The smile on her face is so wide it’s like her face might crack. I’m sure that’s reflected in my face as well. I don’t think I have ever been this happen. I’m glad that I asked here and now, there is something acutely right about it.
“Of course I will marry you, Reece. I thought that you would never ask.”
I leap up and push the ring on to her finger, loving the way it looks on her hand. It’s perfect and it fits wonderfully as well. Like it was designed purely for her. This was the perfect ring. I almost want to run back to the ring shop and tell the guy that it worked really well. That the beautiful ring he sold me was everything.
“Oh my goodness, I cannot believe that you asked me this, Reece. I can’t believe you were planning it.”
“I would have done it sooner, had I not run away like a coward…”
She presses her finger to my lips. “Shh, we aren’t talking about that anymore. We’re just going home.”
She holds my hand and I can feel the ring between my fingers. There is a big weight hanging between us, but it’s a good weight. It’s the weight of commitment, of us finally declaring our love for one another in the most official way possible… well, that is until we get married. Then we will have it all.
We walk outside, the world finally coming back to me, and we climb in to the Admiral’s car. He doesn’t say much, aside from to congratulate us, which is nice. I never thought we would get that from him. Finally, he’s accepted us fully, he’s accepted me despite all of my flaws. This is the best thing ever…
* * *
Nadine is holding on to Oliver as we walk back inside, and she immediately looks relieved as she sees me. My disappearance affected more people than I ever thought possible. I really need to think about everyone else in future, stop being so damn selfish. I have people around me who depend on me these days.
Oliver needs me to be stronger, so does my future wife, plus her family, and now my friend and employee as well. They are all depending on me to be the best version of who I am. I owe them all that.
“Oh, you’re okay,” she gushes. “Thank goodness for that. We’ve been waiting to see you…”
“I’m so sorry.” I grab Oliver from her and play with him for a couple of moments. “Nadine, thank you so much for everything that you’ve done for me during… well, all of that. Apparently, I owe you a raise.”
She beams at Alexa and they both burst out laughing. “Oh, you don’t need to do that,”
“Well, I will. I’m going to. Don’t worry. I know that you’ve been an angel…”
“What is that?” Nadine suddenly demands as she spots the ring on Alexa’s finger. “Is that what I think it is?”
She grabs Alexa’s hand and they both squeal. When I think about how different it was when Valencia was here, I can barely understand how I put up with that nightmare for such a long time. This is so much better. Not only do we not have to hide ourselves, but they are friends as well. It’s amazing. Everyone is happier.
“You’re getting married?” She flicks her eyes between us both. “This is the best thing ever.”
There’s a depth of happiness flowing around the room which I really feel deep inside. This is utterly perfect. My heart flutters, my stomach flip flops, I really do have it all. I don’t know what I did to get so lucky, but I’m so freaking happy about it. Maybe this is Christine looking down on me, trying to make me whole again. Trying to give me the life that we should have had together. I kinda hope that it is. I would like it if she brought Alexa to me, because that woman is everything I didn’t know I needed and more.
“We need to start planning the wedding,” Nadine insists. “Right away.”
“Oh, well I don’t know if it’s going to be a big deal, we might just keep it small…” Alexa starts, but I can already see that Nadine won’t have it. “It doesn’t have to be…”
“Hey,” I jump in. “We can make it whatever you want it to be.”
I don’t even care if it costs the earth, I will make it happen. Whatever Alexa wants, I will make it come to life because she deserves it all. After all that she’s given to me, I wat to repay her.
“You might regret that,” Alexa laughs. “If Nadine gets her own way.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Alexa
Nine Months Later…
“Wow, I’m massive now, aren’t I?” I laugh while rubbing my belly. “You have no idea how heavy this bump is right now. I’m so ready for this baby to be born already so I can have my body back.”
As Reece’s face crumbles, I feel bad for talking about the birth once more. He’s trying to be strong, as strong as he possibly can, but the worry has been there the whole time. He’s had a stressful nine months. And the closer it gets to the actual birth, the more panicked he becomes. Of course he does. He didn’t know that Christine was going to die last time, there was no way that he could have predicted that, but it happened anyway. I have had a lot of health check-ups to try and let him see that I don’t have any undiagnosed pre-existing conditions that are going to reveal themselves as I give birth, but I don’t think he’ll calm down until all of this is over.
“So, erm…” Shit, I need to change the subject quickly. “How are things with work? I’m missing my work during maternity leave. I can’t wait to go back and start designing clothes again.”
Thank goodness Lisa is so understanding. She said that I can come back whenever I want. Whether that be right away if I can’t handle being away, or after a long time when I’m finally ready.
“Yeah, yeah… work is… work is good. It’s bene great training this latest lot of recruits. They’re great.”
“Sure, sure.” I need to keep him on that track, to bring him back. He hasn’t run off again since that very first time, but I’m scared that he might as we grow closer to my due date. Next freaking week. “So, what’s so good about them? Because you were keen on the last lot that you put through as well.”
As he talks, another bout of pain rolls over me. This started happening last night and has been going on ever since. It must be Braxton Hicks, fake contractions, because I’m not ready yet, so I’m sure it will stop soon. However much it hurts though, I need to keep it inside because I don’t want to work Reece up.
“Mmm,” I grunt, trying to cover up the agony. “Sure, that’s good. I’m glad that… that…”
“What’s wrong?” He’s perceptive. He sees right through me. “Alexa, you look hurt.”
“I… I’m okay… I…” Shit, I can’t do it anymore. I lean forwards and grab on to my belly. A scream tears free from my chest without me having any control over it whatsoever. It’s too much now.
“Oh fuck, is something going wrong?” he demands. “Do we need to go to the hospital? Should I call an ambulance? How can I make sure that you’re okay? I don’t like this.
I don’t like it one bit…”
“Calm… argh, calm down, Reece. It’s okay. I’m okay, it’s just…”
“No, you aren’t. Look at you. You’re sick… or… oh my God, are you in labor already?”
“No, not labor, it’s just fake contractions, that’s all. They said that it’s perfectly normal.”
“Right, right.” He shakes his hands by his side and rakes them through his hair, the nerves evident on his face. “Yes, I suppose so. I don’t really remember this part from last time. I don’t recall anything.”
I grip on to his hand, knowing that of course he doesn’t. Probably only the bad parts, but I really don’t need him to focus on that right now. I want his concentration all on me. At least until this passes…
“Oh no.” Something stops me, absolutely stilling me. “Oh no, what’s that? Why am I all wet?”
Our eyes meet as the wet patch grows between my legs. I would love to think that I have just wet myself, but it doesn’t feel like that. It’s a different sensation, one that instinctively tells me my baby is coming.
“Shit, we need to get to the hospital. Right now. There’s no time to panic anymore.”
But Reece does panic. He worries like hell, I can see it all over his face, but I really can’t get too lost in that. I grab his hand and pull him towards the door. We just need to get out of here and to medical help.
“Can you drive, Reece?” I demand. “Are you going to be okay to get me there?”
“Yes,” he insists as he grabs the car keys with his shaking hands. “I am fine.”
“Are you…” Nope, I don’t have time to ask him if he’s sure, the pain is radiating through me again. “You know what?” I gasp out through the panic. “It’s fine, just get me there and now.”
“Yes, now.” He nods frantically. “We need to get there now. We need to… yes, of course.”