Battle Scars

by Cara Carnes

  She puked.

  Violent spasms racked her stomach. The pain in her head increased. She reached out and grabbed Jesse. What was happening?

  “You’re okay, Peanut. I’m here.”

  Memories drifted forward as if in slow motion. The attack.

  Light penetrated the ambient darkness. She winced.

  “Turn that off,” Jesse growled. “She’s light sensitive.”

  “How would you know? She just woke,” a female voice asked.

  “Because I’ve been in that bed waking up and puking my guts out,” Jesse answered.

  Ellie reached for him and squeezed his arm. Why was she in a hospital? Was her mom okay? Riley! She’d been there. Had she been hurt, too?

  “Everyone’s okay,” Jesse whispered.

  That’s when Ellie realized she’d been whispering names. Ma. Riley. Jesse.

  “You’ll need to stand back so we can assess her,” someone said.

  “Leave the room, sir,” the same angry female ordered.

  “He’s not leaving,” someone said. “He’s been here since she was admitted. They all have been.”

  Calm spread through Ellie. She wasn’t alone. Jesse was there. So was someone else. She was okay.

  “Ellie-belly, we’re here,” her mom said.

  “You need to sit,” Momma Mason said.

  “So do you,” her mom replied.

  Ellie listened as the two women argued over which of them should take the seat. Neither wanted to. The mundaneness of the conversation kept Ellie from thinking about the ten thousand things she desperately wanted answers to.

  She bit her tongue to stifle the groan when a bald man with a very bright light leaned into her personal space and attacked her eyeballs with a beam of torment. There was no other way to describe the pain which swept through her.

  A deep breath did little to ease the pain. Her vision fuzzed along the edges.

  “Thsee.”

  Confusion overwhelmed Ellie. The bald man was saying something, but everything blurred.

  Ellie looked around, aware time had passed since she’d awakened, but she didn’t know how long. Jesse leaned down and ran a hand across her cheek.

  “Welcome back,” he whispered. “Just relax, Ellie. You had a seizure, but those are common from head injuries. You’re okay. You’re safe.”

  It took a few moments for her movements to return fully and for the fog in her brain to clear somewhat. She still felt as though she were floating above her body—there but not quite connected.

  “She’s awake, Elena,” Momma Mason whispered.

  “Ellie-belly.” Her mom shuffled to the other side of the bed from where Jesse sat. “You gave us a scare.”

  “I’m okay.” She repeated what Jesse had said, even though she wasn’t sure what injuries she’d sustained.

  “Hi, Ms. Travers. I’m Doctor Hobbs, the neurological surgeon on call when you had your incident.”

  Incident. Ellie pursed her lips and clasped Jesse’s hand. She’d been attacked by some asshole while in their facility. That wasn’t an incident.

  “You sustained quite a concussion and experienced some internal head injuries. We operated to alleviate the pressure and kept you sedated until the swelling decreased. We’ll run some tests, but I expect you’ll be out of the hospital in a few days’ time. We’ll sit down and discuss the aftereffects of an injury such as yours after I’ve reviewed your test results.”

  Ellie blinked. She hadn’t processed at least half of what he’d said. Not fully. She nodded, though. Someone would help her understand when she needed to.

  Jesse leaned down and kissed her forehead. The contact cast warmth through her entire body. He pressed his forehead against hers and sighed heavily, as if breathing for the first time in a long while.

  “I’m so glad you’re awake, Peanut.”

  “The guy who attacked me?” She swallowed.

  “He’s not a problem. Medina handled him.”

  Ellie didn’t ask what handled meant since her mom was there. It didn’t matter. If Jesse said he was handled, she wouldn’t worry.

  “Is your stomach still upset?” her mom asked. “They said your injury would likely cause nausea.”

  Ellie nodded a little.

  “Here. Jesse said it would be. Sip on some ice chips. Rebecca will go get those pills the nurse said you could take for nausea. She’s supposed to have them on standby. Jesse made sure earlier.” Her mom smiled. “You rest up, Ellie-belly. We aren’t gonna let anyone near you.”

  Ellie closed her eyes and rested.

  Jesse waited until Ellie fell asleep to exit the room and meet with the Texas Ranger waiting outside. Dalton Coleman was a middle-aged man who listened and rarely spoke unless necessary. Jesse admired that the man shot straight when asked a question and didn’t try and shut them out of the investigation into Phil Perskins. He understood The Arsenal was involved and had no issues accepting the intel they gathered as part of his investigation. In return, Jesse hadn’t let anyone but himself coordinate with the man because there was only so much red tape a man at the end of his rope could tolerate.

  Ellie was awake.

  Relief filled him. Seizures had been a possibility he’d braced for—one he hoped would resolve itself soon enough. Either way they’d get through it. Whatever happened, he’d make sure she had anything needed to recover fully.

  “I heard she’s awake,” Coleman said.

  “She’s resting.”

  “We can wait to speak with her. I’ll be honest. Everything we have on Mr. Perskins’ involvement at this point is circumstantial at best.”

  “And the gangs?”

  The man shifted and crossed his arms. “Officially, we’ll open an investigation into the Southside Raptors. Medina’s testimony is enough to serve search warrants for the attacker’s domicile and the gang’s primary compound and related properties. We’ll likely coordinate that with the SAPD and DEA. If we’re lucky, that’ll lead to links between them and Perskins.”

  DEA. The Southside Raptors were under investigation for drugs, weapons, or both. Jesse filed the information away, even though the geek squad likely already had it. Warrants took time—time he sorely didn’t want to waste. Phil Perskins needed to get behind bars for his own safety. Jesse was one bad day away from killing the asshole himself.

  He glanced at the entry to Ellie’s room where Cord and Sol leaned against the wall as if they’d become adhered to it. Big brother Marshall must’ve issued an order of some sort because no matter the time of day or location, there were always two people at Jesse’s six.

  “Tell me what you need from us.” He remembered the man’s first word and added, “Unofficially.”

  “If it were my woman in that room, I’d cut through as much red tape as I could. Get the bastard behind bars, even if it isn’t for the attack. A slippery son of a bitch like Perskins will have more than one reason to be taken down.”

  Jesse grunted. “We’re working on an older case—sexual assaults. The victims were minors, so there is no statute of limitations. Video footage done by him was located, but that’s all we have so far.”

  “Good. Whatever you get will help. In the meantime, I’d apply pressure to those gangs. Catch Perskins with them somehow. Bring in the DEA or SAPD to make it official, though I know your crew has a knack for legally inserting yourselves into just about any situation.”

  “Did Vale mention the meet tonight?” Jesse asked.

  “Yes. We can try and organize surveillance for it, but I’ll be honest. I can’t coordinate something that fast without more evidence of its importance.” The man shifted his stance. “You have an idea how to move that along?”

  “We’ll be there gathering evidence with our equipment,” Jesse said. “All we need is you there to make the arrests. We’ll handle the muscle.”

  “I’ll make a call, see if that can work. The DEA will want to be there as well.”

  “I don’t give a damn who takes the assholes down
as long as it sticks and they never breathe the same air as Ellie ever again,” Jesse said. “Coordinate the details with Vi or Mary.”

  He returned to Ellie’s room. Cord and Sol appeared within moments.

  “The Rangers are gonna contact Vi and Mary about tonight. Make sure they do,” Jesse said.

  “I’ll call the girls. They’ve been running the gangs through HERA,” Cord said. “Marcus and his crew are running down Paco from the Nomads. Marshall wants him on ice until we coordinate our plan. We’ll likely commandeer another room. The hospital administrator has been very accommodating.”

  Jesse wondered how much money Marshall had donated to grease the way for accommodating, but didn’t make any comment. He was grateful his brothers and The Arsenal teams were working out a plan because, when it came to Ellie, his judgment was skewed.

  “Take care of Ellie. We’ll handle the details,” Sol said.

  Jesse returned to Ellie’s side and watched her sleep a long while. Fortunately, neither of the mothers watching him watch her made a comment or struck up conversation. Everything fell into his brain and mixed together. She was going to be okay, but he had no idea what that meant for them.

  Was there a them?

  Dare he take a chance at moving further than just friendship? Would Ellie be okay with that?

  She deserved a real relationship, one where the man could make love to her however and whenever she wanted.

  “Have you eaten?” His mom put a hand on his shoulder.

  Tension ran along his spine, but he never moved away from his mother’s touch. She wouldn’t understand. Since his return home after physical rehabilitation, he’d learned to tolerate touch when necessary. As long as he saw it coming, he was okay. It was one of the unaddressed issues Doctor Sinclair hadn’t broached yet.

  Even if you never have sex with Ellie, there’s no reason you couldn’t have a loving and fulfilling relationship with her.

  The doctor’s words from their last session had echoed in his mind a lot since Ellie’s assault. After almost losing her, he was lost. Confused.

  Scraping sounds echoed within the room. Jesse hoped the loud sound didn’t wake Ellie. When it didn’t, he leaned back in the seat and looked over at his mom, who’d pulled her chair up beside him.

  “You’ve got that look your dad always got when he was lost in the weeds of his thoughts.”

  Jesse smiled. Mom had spent a lot of time talking about their father since the accident. He enjoyed hearing the stories she’d rarely shared since his passing. “Moments like this make me miss him the most. He’d know what to say.

  “I made a lot of mistakes after he passed, Jesse. You boys had to step up a lot, especially Marshall. I never expected to outlive him,” she whispered.

  He rubbed his chest and massaged away the ache he often felt when thinking about his dad. He’d passed in the dining room while reading the newspaper early one morning. Their mother had been in the kitchen making homemade biscuits and gravy.

  He’d died alone.

  Fast.

  “Don’t waste a second of life. That’s what I learned from his passing.” Sadness resonated in her voice. “You can’t stop living to prevent a scar, Jesse. Love cuts us up. It’s the times in between that heal those wounds.”

  “I’m not what she needs,” he whispered.

  “Bullshit.” Jesse glanced back at Ellie’s mom, whose statement startled him.

  The woman hadn’t ever been a big supporter of his. She’d actively attempted to come between them on multiple occasions before their breakup.

  “I made a lot of mistakes, but asking her to choose caring for me over going with you was the biggest. I can’t ever give that time back to her. Or you.” The woman’s voice broke. “But I can make damn sure you don’t turn tail and run now. My girl never stopped loving you. Never.”

  Jesse swallowed. Ellie’s hand was warm in his.

  “I’ve been worried. I’m not making it past the cancer, not this time.”

  Damn. Ellie would take her mom’s loss hard. It’d been just the two of them for a long time. No. Asshole Phil had been a part of the mix as well.

  “Promise me you won’t ever let her go,” the woman ordered. “I’ve seen you with her. I know you won’t ever let anything touch her. Promise me.”

  “Elena,” his mom said gently.

  Jesse already knew the answer. It’d fanned out within him in an awareness he couldn’t deny, not after almost losing her. “I swear.”

  Darkness cloaked the area, but the stillness bothered Jesse as he got into a standby position with his team. The meeting at the hospital to coordinate tonight had been brief yet necessary. Nolan and his team would be primary, with Gage’s and Jesse’s on standby.

  “You cool?” Levi asked.

  “Yeah.” Jesse forced the word out despite the frenetic energy coursing through his system. What the hell was taking so long? “If Vales lied about this, I’ll skin his ass.”

  “The girls confirmed the meet,” Brooklyn said. “Communications have been intercepted from the Raptors and the Horns. Both are under surveillance and en route. We’ve got a good half hour before anyone nears the zone.”

  Right. Jesse had let everyone else handle the details so he could focus on Ellie. Damn. He should’ve stayed at the hospital with her. At least she wasn’t alone. Medina and Riley had arrived to handle security while everyone else at The Arsenal was either following one of the targets, onsite for the meeting, or on standby to assist.

  “Figured you’d be crawling out of your skin about now,” Dallas said as he arrived and got on Jesse’s other side. “When I was going through my shit, you were always there, hovering in the background ready to pounce if I needed you. Pissed me right the hell off.”

  “So you’re returning the favor.”

  Dallas smirked. “Something like that.”

  Levi chuckled. “You always have been the craziest of his brothers.”

  “We’ve got enough operatives in position to take down a third world country,” Dallas commented as he got on his belly and settled his rifle into position. “I damn near had to tie Kamren to our bed to keep her from coming here tonight to have your back.”

  Kamren was one hell of a marksman and a perfect match for Dallas in every way. Jesse swallowed. “Glad you’re here, brother.”

  “It’s not the time, but we should chat about what you said to Nolan.”

  Jesse had opened more than one can of worms, and he wasn’t anywhere close to ready to handle them. As if sensing that, Dallas made no further comment. Of all Jesse’s brothers, Dallas was the one with the darkest, nastiest past. He’d been in a black ops assassination squad for The Collective.

  “I didn’t mean to call you out.”

  “You should have,” Dallas said. “I put you on the back burner because of Kamren and the boys, and I shouldn’t have. Family doesn’t come around only when it’s convenient, and we sure as fuck don’t ignore a problem because we don’t have time. We make time. I fucked up.”

  “No. It was on me, too. I should’ve been in your face about your shit, making sure you processed it all.”

  “Why weren’t you?”

  “Kamren. I saw the way you two were, the way she remains at your side and whispers in your ear. It’s…” Jesse heaved a breath. “I had that once.”

  “Wish to hell I remembered you with her the way the elders do,” Dallas muttered. “But not remembering helped me see the way she is with you now—even when you and the others were being dicks to her.”

  A rumble rose from Jesse’s throat at the reminder.

  “Best not poke the bear, little brother. He’s mighty touchy about that particular subject,” Levi advised.

  Smartass. Jesse hadn’t taken Ellie’s presence at The Arsenal well at first. His brothers had followed his lead. Even though they’d moved past it, guilt still bothered him.

  “Heard you carted his ass across the desert to safety,” Dallas commented.

  “I might
have been around.”

  Tension coiled within Jesse. He didn’t want this particular conversation going down when an op was about to get underway. He glared between the two men and noted his brother’s grin before Dallas glanced through his rifle’s site.

  “Anything you need, man. Without question,” Dallas said.

  A weight lifted off Jesse’s shoulders. Levi had been such a huge part of his daily life for so long—one he’d kept from the most important people in his life. The shame of what the man had seen and the secrets he carried had kept Jesse from merging Levi with his brothers. Jesse had needed the two parts of his life separated.

  Now?

  Jesse glanced between the two and realized they’d seamlessly merged somehow anyway. He hadn’t wanted his brothers hurt that he’d trusted someone else to have his back when the night terrors struck. Or when flashbacks happened.

  It wasn’t because he didn’t trust them. It was because Levi had always been there. From the start, he’d been a guardian of the gate.

  “He’s never told me why,” Jesse commented. Dallas glanced up. “Levi flushed his military career to get me out of that hellhole. He walked away from it all to get me out.”

  “Told you a thousand times, there’s no deeper why than because it was the right thing to do. The day I take an order to leave a man behind is the day I deserve a bullet.” Levi’s jaw twitched. “But it’s chewing away at you, so I’ll give you the why. My sister’s in the service—best damn pilot you’ll ever meet. She’s had a hard road proving herself—one she shouldn’t have had because she’s a woman.”

  “That’s the why?” Dallas asked.

  “No. She was in a black ops group a while back, ran across some bad shit she couldn’t share with me. All I know is she made the call I did with you and got kicked out for doing the right thing. That’d just happened. It was fresh on my mind when I came across you.” Levi’s jaw twitched. “I wasn’t about to walk away when the best woman I know didn’t.”

  “Sounds like one hell of a soldier,” Jesse commented. Levi hadn’t ever mentioned a sister. He’d held details close to his vest to keep the road clear for whatever shitstorm blew in from Jesse’s ordeal. A one-way road. “She’d be proud of you.”