Battle Scars

by Cara Carnes

  Jesse chuckled because she’d been quilting a pink and pale purple throw for the past few days. Not much escaped his mom’s information network. The tiny bundle was swaddled in a pink and white blanket. She slept peacefully in the crook of her dad’s arm.

  Dylan’s mile-wide smile made Jesse tear up as he passed the small bundle over to their mother.

  “Oh, she’s perfect.”

  “And how are you, dear?” Ellie’s mom moved to Mary’s bedside and patted her hand.

  “I’ve never been better,” Mary said, her eyes clouded with tears.

  “I’m so happy,” Ellie said. “Did you pick out a name yet?”

  The celebratory conversation around them died once more. Dylan looked around and rocked back on his heels as if deciding whether he should wait to tell everyone. But his gaze moved from his daughter in her grandmother’s arms to Jesse.

  “Jessie Jeanine Mason,” Dylan said, his voice low enough for only the immediate family and friends around him to hear. “We’ll switch it to Jessica if you’d prefer, but we both wanted the name Jesse in one form or another. She’s named after one of the strongest, most amazing people we know.”

  Tears fell from Jesse’s face as his mother moved Jessie into his arms. He leaned down and inhaled the baby scent he barely remembered from when he’d held Riley shortly after her birth. His heart swelled in his chest.

  He glanced down at Ellie and saw tears spilling down her cheeks. The wide smile on her face wrapped around him like a warm hug. He looked down at the tiny bundle. “Welcome to the family, Jessie. You’re going to be the most amazing little girl because you have the best parents in the world.”

  His gaze swept across the gathered family as he returned Jessie to Dylan. “Love you, man.”

  “Love you, too,” Dylan whispered.

  One week later…

  Mild traumatic brain injury. Ellie mulled the diagnosis over in her mind as she shifted the sunglasses on her face and looked about the small cottage. Bree and Rhea fussed over which set of blackout curtains looked best with the furniture while Riley and Momma Mason were in the kitchen fixing lunch. Her mom was asleep in her recliner. Vi and Zoey were on the sofa side by side, tapping away on their laptops.

  Mary and Dylan were tucked away in a cottage having quality baby bonding time as Mary was put on Dylan-enforced rest before she helped pour through the intel gathered from the raids on Phil. HERA was sifting through information on the CDs that’d been seized, but no one had shared anything found so far.

  “You’d better go and rest your eyes for a while. If Jesse comes in and sees you sitting up, he’ll ask how long it’s been since you’ve taken a nap,” Bree said. “And we all know it’s been too long.”

  Naps. Visual rest breaks. “I’ll handle Jesse if he asks.”

  “You’re good with him,” Vi said. “With Jesse.”

  “He makes it easy. He’s the most amazing man I’ve ever met. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.”

  The intensity within the statement blanketed the room. Suddenly Ellie was self-conscious because she’d offloaded too much about her feelings for Jesse. The filter between her brain and her mouth wasn’t firing on all cylinders right now, which had made for more than a few awkward moments.

  “I’m bored out of my skull,” Ellie said. “Let’s watch a movie.”

  The two women froze. Looked up in perfect synchronicity. Blinked.

  “You two freak me out when you do that,” Bree said as she pointed at Vi and Zoey. Then she looked at Ellie. “As for you, no movies anytime soon. You can’t do anything on computer screens, phones, or televisions. Nothing with blue light or anything else that’ll cause those headaches to get worse. And we certainly don’t want any more seizures.”

  No. No they certainly did not.

  Aside from a battered face and a couple shaved spots on her head, she was physically okay. Headaches and an occasional seizure were the biggest pains in the ass. Doctors were relatively sure they’d both go away.

  Eventually.

  Minor pains in the ass included the random, weird shit she’d kept doing since coming home from the hospital yesterday morning. She’d put her toothbrush in the freezer. Why? No clue.

  She randomly carried objects around. The soap dispenser from the hallway bathroom. The dish scrubber from the kitchen.

  Ugh. Ellie was a mess and bored off her ass.

  Work was a hard no, mandated by the doctors, everyone around her, and Jesse.

  “Where’s Jesse?” He’d been the constant focus of her thoughts. Nervousness and anxiety attacked her if she didn’t know where he was and what he was doing.

  Riley looked at Vi, who looked at Zoey. The three glanced at Bree and Rhea, whose widened eyes were on Ellie. “Ugh. I’ve asked before. Right?”

  “Just a few times,” Riley said as she headed into the living room. She held out a pad and a pen. “Tell you what. Let’s write important stuff down, just in case.”

  Memory lapses were expected until her mind healed. Portions of her short-term memory might never return. But she was alive, her mom was more comfortable than she’d been at the rental, and Jesse was…

  Ugh. She really wanted to know where he was.

  “He and Nolan ran to Bubba’s to grab some grub. We’re all having lunch together and spending the afternoon hanging out,” Sara said as she wandered into the living room with baby Ariana in her arms. “Here. You want to hold her again?”

  Again?

  Ellie swallowed and held out her hands as Sara passed the gorgeous baby girl over.

  “She’s growing so fast,” Vi said.

  “Vi, are you going to find out if it’s a girl or boy, or wait like Mary did?” Sara asked.

  “I’m married to a former assassin. He’s insisted we know everything about everything.”

  Everyone laughed. Jud took intense to an entirely different level.

  “We’re going to be covered in babies. My heart is full,” Momma Mason said as she came into the living room and set a tray of warm cookies down. “These aren’t as good as Ellie’s, but you girls had best grab what you want before my boys get back. They fall on desserts like starving animals.”

  Which was hysterical since they were all seriously fit. Ellie took a chocolate chip cookie and nibbled. The nausea she’d endured the first couple of days had slowly eased to tolerable levels. Ariana cooed and reached for Ellie’s long hair. Her big blue eyes peered up in the curious merriment she always had. Ellie clutched the baby close and leaned down to inhale her scent. For a second she could pretend.

  Mary had named her daughter Jessie. The name was perfect in so many ways and a beautiful testament to the couple’s love for Jesse. They’d given him what he’d never have for himself, and while a part of her was sad, Ellie was overwhelmed by the love the Masons displayed so easily every day.

  Her gaze swept to her mother, who was napping in a recliner in the corner of the room. The past few days with her had been…wonderful. The woman wasn’t the same as she’d been before Ellie’s attack. She was…

  Loving.

  Ellie hated the thought. Her mom had sacrificed a lot to raise Ellie alone after her father died, but that level of stress had taken its toll. They’d never had a relationship like the one Jesse and his siblings had with their mom. It’d been strained most of the time.

  The cancer had shifted their dynamic. Now Ellie was the caregiver. It’d been a difficult transition—one neither of them had been prepared for. Being out at The Arsenal—surrounded by so much love and family—had somehow changed her mom.

  And Ellie.

  It made her thankful for the time she still had with her mother.

  “I wasn’t trying to snoop, but I sort of found something in your room when I was changing the sheets the other day,” Rhea whispered as she sat at the coffee table in the living room. “I probably shouldn’t say anything with everyone here, but I put them in the top dresser drawer so they’d be safer.”

  “Them?”
Bree echoed Ellie’s question.

  “The files.” Rhea blinked. “Oh gosh, you don’t remember?”

  “What files?” Vi closed her laptop.

  “I took a peek, just long enough to see what they were.” Red rose in Rhea’s cheeks. “They were about Jesse. His capture. His injuries.”

  Cord.

  The memory returned with a vengeance. He’d come by the cottage after Jesse’s episode and given her files. She’d stayed up and read a lot of them, then she’d cried herself to sleep thinking of everything Jesse had endured.

  There hadn’t been much in the way of details. She hadn’t understood half of the medical stuff.

  “Where did you get them? Do you remember?” Vi asked.

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “It does,” Vi said.

  “Cord,” Ellie whispered. “He told me to not quit the fight to get his brother back.”

  “Good.” Riley plopped down. “He’s right. Once you’re on your feet, Jesse’s gonna bolt. He’ll stay as far away as he can. I know fear, and he reeks of it.”

  “Riley Mason! Don’t you go saying that about your brother.” Momma Mason came in and sat on the loveseat beside Ellie. “But she’s right, dear. My boy’s had a rough go of it. I suspect he’s got a lot to process. He and Nolan are like their daddy. They hole up alone and mull things over.”

  “Marshall’s the worst,” Riley replied. “They’re damned animals with a sore paw. They’ll run to ground and growl if you get near.”

  “You need to talk to Doctor Sinclair,” Vi said. “About what happened to you. About Jesse.”

  “She’s right,” Rhea said.

  The door opened. TJ and DJ burst into the room with loud shouts as the little boy chased his big brother through the living room. Ellie winced and curled deeper into the sofa as Dallas and Kamren entered. Little Ariana slept peacefully on Ellie’s shoulder.

  Where had Sara gone? She looked around but didn’t see the young girl. Maybe she’d gone to take a nap.

  “Boys, what did I say about the volume?” Kamren asked.

  Both boys froze and looked at Ellie. DJ walked up and climbed up between her and his grandma. He put a little hand on the unbruised side of her face.

  “You hurted like Auntie Z was.”

  “I am hurt like Auntie Z was,” Ellie corrected. “But I’ll be okay. Have you been studying your letters?”

  The boy nodded with a smile.

  “Your numbers?”

  “I’m real good with those. Uncle Cord said so.”

  “Well, Uncle Cord would know,” Riley said. “He’s always been the best with math of us all. I flunked.”

  “Jesse did mine,” Dallas admitted. “That old coot who taught Algebra used the same tests every year. Jesse found Nolan’s and passed them down to me.”

  “Is that where they went to?” Ellie asked with a smile. “He used to let me see them in exchange for kisses.”

  Everyone laughed. Recovery the past few days had left a lot of contemplation time. She’d stifled any fears of pursuing a relationship with Jesse because the man hadn’t left her side. While everyone else appeared and disappeared regularly, he’d remained the constant guardian at her side—her own private gargoyle. But way sexier.

  “Mom’s been studying, too,” TJ said. “Dad’s been helping. When she gets something wrong, he tickles her.”

  “What’d we say about not listening when your mom and I are alone?” Dallas asked.

  “Sorry, Dad.” TJ’s bottom lip curled outward. “I don’t mean to snoop.”

  “When are you going to take your GED exam?” Bree asked.

  Kamren looked at Dallas and chewed her lip a moment. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to get my diploma before the boys transition to public school. I…I want to be able to help them with their homework.”

  Wow. Ellie’s heart clenched with the passion and conviction in the woman’s voice. She loved Dallas’s boys without hesitation. TJ wasn’t even Dallas’s biological son—not that anyone even considered him anything other than family.

  “With you helping them, they’ll both be valedictorian,” Dallas said. He wrapped his arms around Kamren and kissed her mouth.

  The door opened again, and Nolan and Dylan entered with large paper bags. Cord and Jesse entered next.

  Jesse’s gaze swept the room, then halted on Ellie. His jaw twitched as a look she hadn’t seen before settled in his eyes. Then she looked down and remembered she was holding Ariana.

  Damn.

  Ellie looked around for Sara again, but she still hadn’t returned.

  “Here, dear, I’ll go put her in the crib. She’d sleep on you all day if you let her.” Momma Mason rose and took the baby. Riley grabbed the bags from Jesse and followed her brothers into the kitchen.

  Jesse sat beside Ellie. “How are you feeling?”

  “Better. I’m bored.”

  “Bored is a good sign,” he said with a grin. He knocked the side of her sunglasses with his finger. “You’re still rocking the cool look.”

  “I’m always cool,” she teased.

  “I know it’s late, but the sun is down and you’ve been cooped up in here all day. You want to eat outside?”

  “Yes. Please.”

  “Great. Give me a few and we’ll go.”

  17

  Ellie knew where Jesse was taking her when he made a right at the stump. The truck bumped along the worn path. The large oak tree had once been a focal point of their romance. Whenever they’d been at Jesse’s house—which was often—they’d snuck away from everyone and come out here.

  Anticipation beaded along her skin as he grasped her waist and lifted her down to the ground. Her pulse quickened when she peered into his eyes and saw…

  Intensity. Awareness.

  She swallowed and touched his biceps. Strength. Her breathing increased. She should pull away, but she was drawn to him—a magnet to its counterpart.

  “Come on, let’s get the blanket set up. I’m starving.” He smiled.

  A breeze flowed from the open field and rustled the leaves of the mighty tree. Jesse made quick work of spreading a large quilt out on the ground. Ellie walked over to the thick trunk and ran her hand along the bark until she found what she was looking for. It’d been so cliché, but teenagers hyped up on hormone-driven love didn’t care. They’d wanted to immortalize their love for one another in his great-grandfather’s tree.

  I want to make you part of us, Ellie. You’re a Mason because I love you, heart and soul.

  Jesse’s fingers brushed against hers, then he clasped her hand, interlocked their fingers, and traced the letters. E. She was always first with Jesse. J. Because he was always beside her.

  Damn.

  “You okay?” Hot breath fanned the shell of her ear.

  A shiver traveled from her neck and down her body.

  “Vanilla,” he whispered. “You changed your scent again.”

  “I—” She cut off the admission. What could she say? She’d changed because he’d mentioned vanilla and lavender. He’d remembered for years how she smelled. “I liked that you remembered.”

  Jesse turned her around and grasped her face so his palm was against her cheek. The contact sent a shockwave of awareness and need through her. Guilt stilled her thoughts of what they used to do beneath the tree. The way they’d attacked each other, so hungered for the taste and feel of one another they weren’t satisfied until they were one.

  “Don’t ever hide what you feel, Peanut. Not with me.”

  Tears escaped her eyes. Sadness and confusion reflected in his gaze.

  “I’m okay with this…nothing more. I feel more with your touch than I ever have with another man,” she admitted. “Whatever this is, whatever it can be, I’m all in.”

  “Ellie,” Jesse whispered. He leaned in and feathered his lips across hers.

  The contact was the single most amazing thing she’d experienced. Soft, raw, hesitant. So many emotions in one light sweep of mouth
s. She firmed her grip on his arms and deepened the kiss. A glide of her tongue along the seam of his mouth.

  A groan escaped her. Or him. The world tunneled to the two of them. Everything else ceased. Pleasure coursed along her skin as her pulse quickened.

  Jesse wrapped an arm around her and guided them to the ground. Anticipation ignited her pulse as she severed the kiss for a raspy breath. Then she took his mouth again, too needy to risk his retreat. He grasped her hair and took control. His tongue delved, attacked with a voracity that left her breathless.

  Years.

  The last time she’d felt this hunger had been with Jesse before he left.

  The emotional dam she’d controlled ruptured. Tears slid from her eyes as the kiss softened to a slow but carnal fusion. Jesse severed the contact and kissed her cheeks.

  “Ellie.” The intensity in his gaze made her heart stop. “Tell me what you need, Peanut.”

  “You. Just like this,” she whispered. She wrapped her arms around him but noted the tension in his body. “Tell me what you need, honey.”

  “You. Just like this.” Pain filled his voice.

  Her sweet Jesse was lost and confused. “We pave our own path. Lie down with me?”

  Jesse stretched out on the blanket. Ellie settled alongside him and rested her head on his chest. Questions listed in her mind, but the silence blanketing them was a warm cocoon of comfort she didn’t want to lose by asking the wrong thing.

  “Does my touch bother you?” Ellie asked.

  “Not as much as when others touch me. I…” He swallowed. “I like your touch.”

  Good, because she loved touching him. She splayed a hand on his chest and looked up at the stars. “There are so many of them.”

  “Dylan and Mary come out here sometimes and name them. It’s something she and Vi started when they were kids at MIT. I caught them out here once, so lost in the moment he’d lost all sense of security.”

  “Because he knew y’all would watch out for them,” Ellie whispered. “They’d do anything for you.”

  “I know, but they shouldn’t have to.”

  “That’s what family does.”

  Jesse traced a finger along her cheek and palmed her face. “You need to talk to Sinclair about the accident, Peanut. And your mom. The hospital attack. Don’t let it simmer in you. It’s a lot harder to contain when you leave it be too long.”