1812 How It All Began- Part 2

by Deborah E Pearson

  Throughout the days of June and July, Darcy improved and finished all his business in London. At the beginning of August, he decided he would go up to Pemberley. He invited Mr Bingley, Mr and Mrs Hurst, and Miss Bingley as guests as well as Georgiana. This was so he could distance himself from Elizabeth. He would also be away from any reminders of the past autumn, winter and spring. The frequency of letters from his steward was increasing. Pemberley needed him. He was not strong enough to make the journey until early August.

  An express arrived two days before they were due to leave for Pemberley. The problem with his tenants had escalated and needed an urgent resolution. His steward had attempted to propose several solutions none of which had worked. Now he requested Darcy to solve the problem. Darcy needed to return to Pemberley as soon as possible. Darcy visited Bingley and informed every one of the express that had arrived. The party agreed that they would all set out the next day. The urgency of the problem meant that he would ride overnight to reach Pemberley in two days. The rest would take their rest and meet him at Pemberley the following day.

  The two-day carriage ride to Pemberley was tedious. He mulled the tenant issue but could find no solution. His mind would not settle to reading. Darcy was always prompt and efficient with dealing with business. This was not planned to be an exception. Life has a way of changing the best laid plans. Darcy soon found to be the case as he rounded the house after stepping out of his carriage. His heart jumped in his chest and started beating wildly. He momentarily froze. Either my imagination has run wild or she’s here! Yes, Yes, she’s here, in the flesh! He thought, Why? Does this mean…? Could it be? Is there, is there, hope for me? for us? Oh Elizabeth, Elizabeth how I longed for you these last months, this past year. Please say you’ll be mine, Say there’s hope for us yet. Oh, please tell me that you think better of me. I cannot live without you! He knew he blushed and had a vague idea that Elizabeth Bennet had also blushed when their eyes met. Darcy moved forward and asked about her family. His thoughts scattered, and he did not know what to say or do. All he could think of to ask, all he wanted to ask, was the one question that must wait. He was so confused he was not sure what he was saying or asking. His mind did not comprehend either what Elizabeth replied. He was sure that he was repeating himself. He felt like an idiot as he stood there asking the same questions repeatedly. Oh, that right now I could be introducing you as my wife. Oh, that you had nursed me as you nursed your sister. I wish that I could take you in my arms right now. Bother! Yet again I am not acquitting myself properly! How does she always bring out the worst in me? I need to gather myself and my thoughts and behave like the gentleman I always should have been. Darcy took his leave and entered the house. “Mrs Reynolds those guests touring our estate, I must see them before they leave. Please make sure that they’re still here when I return.”

  “Yes, Sir,” Mrs Reynolds answered with a sly smile on her face. Once Darcy was out of her hearing she muttered, “So the young master has found his mate.” The thought pleased the old housekeeper as she bustled away to follow her master's orders. This was the day she had waited for, the day that her dying mistress had longed to see. Excitement filled Mrs Reynolds. She remembered the instructions her mistress had left for when this day happened.

  Darcy looked out of his dressing room window. He wanted to see where Miss Elizabeth and her party were heading. Darcy changed his clothes as fast as he could, and then rushed down to find them. His gardener informed him that they were on the lake walk. That was the walk that would show the best of the woods without fatiguing the average walker. Darcy rushed out of the house with Elizabeth’s admonishments ringing in his ears.

  I need to show her that I have improved my manners and that I’m not the arrogant conceited bastard she thought me. You, Darcy, can right the wrongs that you’ve done. Right now, the next step is to keep her in your circle of acquaintances. Darcy knew he would do everything he could to win Miss Elizabeth’s affection. Everything honourable that is. He set out to meet her. Now, Darcy, keep yourself under control and be polite! You have been rude enough to and about those Elizabeth cares for! Goodness knows I deserved what she said about me, and now I have the chance to make things right. Who is she travelling with? Whoever they are I need to make them all welcome. I will make them welcome.

  The route had many curves. He could not see very far ahead and was anxious. How fast did her party walk? Soon enough he saw them ahead. Soon he would once again talk to Elizabeth Bennet and walk with her as he did at Rosings.

  The meeting seemed bittersweet to him. The pain of her rejection rose in him again. This combined with his happiness at being in her presence once more. Darcy took a deep breath and approached Miss Elizabeth’s party. They spent a moment or two on the usual civilities. He also saw her smile as he requested an introduction to her companions. Surprise was the least of what Darcy felt.

  Elizabeth turned, "Mr Darcy," Darcy saw a mischievous glint in Miss Elizabeth’s eye. She added, "may I present my aunt and uncle, Mr and Mrs Gardiner, of Gracechurch Street.”

  Darcy did not fail to miss the slight emphasis Miss Elizabeth placed on the area. He knew it was to remind him of how despised the area was to his class and himself not so long ago. So, you still think that I hold the prejudices of Miss Viper! Well, two can play your game, and I am NOT going to give in and revert to being rude to those around me. Besides, you forget Bingley comes from trade.

  "Delighted to meet you, madam, and sir," said Darcy. Inside he felt the justice of Elizabeth's words last Easter more keenly than he had done so at any other time. Could I have judged any worse this past year? To even consider judging people wanting before meeting them! How completely ridiculous I have been! How ironic! The Gardiner family are like an older version of the Bingley family. The Bingley and Gardiner women are all ignorant and puffed up. While the man is a friendly, open gentleman who could pass amongst the very best of the Ton. Bingley is proof that brothers and sisters can be as different as night and day.

  How did I get to think myself so superior? Was it only because women would throw themselves at me everywhere I went? How is it that in families of trade, the male gets all the manners and the women come out being ill-mannered shrews? Could it be that having occupation combined with a good income was good for the gentlemen? Maybe the ladies need that tempering influence as well. No wonder the eldest two Bennet girls are so different from the rest of their family. They must have spent a lot of time with this couple, Mrs Gardiner is a lovely, intelligent woman. Darcy invited Mr Gardiner to come fish in Pemberley's lake. He could not concentrate on the conversation. His eyes were too busy watching Miss Elizabeth’s back as she walked with her aunt. Oh Elizabeth, how well you look! How I’ve missed you, it feels as if I’m only now waking up, rather than having been sick for a couple of months.

  Mr Gardiner recognised the tell-tale signs of a man distracted by love. He refrained from discussing anything of any consequence. It was much more entertaining to watch Darcy’s very visceral reactions to his niece. Darcy wasn’t aware that he had become an object of observation. Nor would he have cared. He was silently chiding himself for being so susceptible to Miss Elizabeth. Elizabeth, I promise you I will spend the rest of my life making up for all the hurt and insults you’ve suffered from me. I must and will make this right!

  Mrs Gardiner had not the same stamina for walking that her niece had. Mrs Gardiner was already tired and sought her husbands arm after the group had gone a short distance. Darcy was very pleased with the change in walking partners. He and Elizabeth picked up their pace. Before he and Elizabeth were out of earshot Darcy could have sworn he heard Mr Gardiner whisper to his wife. "Well done, Love. It’s our Lizzy he wants to walk with.” He was grateful to hear it because that freed him from feeling guilty for taking pleasure in the change.

  Darcy was tempted to offer his arm to Miss Elizabeth. He was not sure how she would receive such a gesture, so instead, he allowed Miss Elizabeth to set their pace. Alright, Elizabeth, t
ruth time, what do you think of my home? “Miss Elizabeth, dare I ask what you think of Pemberley, does it please you?”

  The pleasure written on her face made Darcy’s heart constrict Oh, that I could kiss you right now! It is obvious that my home has conquered your heart. Oh, that its owner had conquered your heart as easily as you have conquered his. You belong here as the mistress, as my wife. Oh, why can’t you see that this is where you were born to be? You are my destiny, and I am yours. I know that I behaved abominably, I wish, I hope that you will forgive me and that there is hope for us. You should have a more thorough tour. One that ends in the Master and Mistress' suite. Darcy realised where his thoughts were going but didn’t care at that moment.

  Miss Elizabeth had started to praise Pemberley, calling it charming and beautiful. She blushed and stopped speaking. This Darcy found charming. After all, that’s happened she still fears me thinking ill of her. Oh Elizabeth, I could no more think ill of you, than I could Georgiana. She then started to apologise, for intruding on his privacy. Darcy wasn’t sure what he said but wanted her to be at ease, so he requested to be able to introduce his sister to her. Please intrude on my privacy as much as you like. There’s nothing I love more than seeing you. Do you still not know that I would still have you here as my wife? Oh, that you would give me the greatest wish of my heart. My heart won’t give you up. Do you not know that my heart is and irrevocably will always be yours! My heart cannot take letting you walk away again. It was clear that Elizabeth had needed to stretch her legs after travelling in carriages. Their pace picked up considerably. This resulted in quite a large gap between themselves and the Gardiners.

  When they arrived back at the Gardiner's carriage, they had to wait for the Gardiners. Please come in. I want so much to introduce you to Pemberley. Oh, that I could ask you and your relations to stay here. I should invite you. Georgiana has yet to meet you. hmmm that is a minor obstacle. Other than Georgiana you know the whole of my house party. Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley won’t be happy, but this is my home and I can invite anyone I wish. The question is would you accept and stay? Would that put too much pressure on you? Please. I would beg on my knees if it would gain me my heart’s desire. His courage failed him. So, he settled on offering refreshments. She seemed keener to stay outside. He kept the conversation light and talked about travelling and mundane subjects. After their initial awkwardness, the conversation seemed easier than in the past. Darcy’s internal monologue kept going as he and Miss Elizabeth chatted the time away.

  There was so much he felt, so much he wanted to say, and to ask, yet somehow his courage failed. He waited for Miss Elizabeth to give him a sign. He wanted to discuss all that had happened, but no sign came or at least none he recognised. Before he gained enough courage to broach other subjects, the Gardiners joined them. Once more he offered refreshments. They refused refreshments due to Mrs Gardiner’s fatigue and their need to settle into the Inn at Lambton. Darcy saw nothing on Miss Elizabeth’s face whether she would accept an invitation to stay.

  Darcy hated handing the ladies into the carriage. He found that he didn't want to let Miss Elizabeth go. He watched the carriage go, with regret. If only, if only, I had more courage. If only I had behaved better before. If only she had accepted my hand. If only we were already married. Am I reading too much into her actions this morning to hope that should I offer my hand once more that she will accept it? I must invite them over to dinner while they are here in Lambton. I MUST show Miss Elizabeth Pemberley on a more intimate footing. Also, she must see the real me.

  After the Gardiner party had left, Darcy gave instructions that he was not to be disturbed. Much business had built up during his illness. The situation with his tenants had needed his attention sooner. He should have been home. Too much of the day had already passed for Darcy to ride over today. He made the appointment with his steward that in the morning. He would ride over and attempt to settle the dispute before breakfast. It appeared that he would not have much time to spend with his guests for the rest of the week. He knew he could not neglect them and postponing the Bingley’s visit was not an option either. For the first time since taking over from his father, his estate business would come second. His main point of business would be Miss Elizabeth. and he determined that nothing would take priority over his pursuit to win the hand of Elizabeth.

  "...if I see but one smile on your lips when we meet, occasioned by this or any other exertion of mine, I shall need no other happiness."

  - Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

  Darcy woke at sunrise the next morning to the same thoughts that had closed his eyes the night before. Elizabeth is here! I have another chance, she must see me at my best! Darcy shook his head, as excitement coursed through his veins. What was happening to him? To be behaving so far out of character. He spent the time before breakfast mediating the tenant dispute. It was his renewed hope of Elizabeth, that buoyed Darcy’s mood. The two tenants involved in the dispute had become intractable! They were unwilling to be reasonable or come to a quick solution. Both wanted the lion’s share of the land. On inspection Darcy had found the old boundary markers. The major issue was that a stream that used to create the border had moved over time. Neither tenant was ready to compromise or even listen to where the boundary lay. The dispute had escalated and had now become personal. He had months of work ahead of him. He would need to listen to both families and come to a decision that would be beneficial to both sides. He would also need to re-establish the boundaries. Yet again it occurred to him that he needed a wife who could be a true equal partner. He knew in his heart that woman was Miss Elizabeth. He longed to take the paperwork over to the Lambton Inn to ask her help. He knew that, at this point, such action would be inappropriate. So, for the moment he would have to continue to deal with this on his own. Pemberley’s business would stretch out for months and there was nothing he could do about it now. He wondered how much he could do while trying to win the hand of Miss Elizabeth as well. It was all a matter of priorities. He knew that, but he could not let Pemberley down, nor was he willing let Elizabeth get away again. He had a tough few months ahead of him.

  Despite being so busy, Darcy still found the wait for his sister to arrive interminable. He knew it was not so much his sister's arrival, but this anxiety to introduce her to Elizabeth. He ached to be in Elizabeth’s presence once more. None of his business stopped his smiling or his dreaming about Elizabeth. Some of his dreams imagined alternate outcomes of yesterday's meeting. At last Georgiana and the others arrived and they ate a late breakfast.

  After breakfast, Darcy called her and Mr Bingley into his library. Georgiana thought that it was to do with some business. Darcy only said that Elizabeth Bennet and her aunt and uncle were staying at Lambton. "Georgiana, are you too tired or can you rally the strength to come and visit Miss Bennet with me today?"

  "Let me change and then we will go, Fitzwilliam," Georgiana's alarm was great. She knew that Darcy's illness had been longer more than normal because of Elizabeth. In her naiveté she was not sure how the two connected. She worried that seeing Elizabeth would cause him to be ill again. Somehow, he seemed stronger and happier as he told her that Elizabeth was here. She would visit Elizabeth and learn more about her and observe her brother over the next few days. Georgiana felt conflicted. She felt excited on the one hand to finally meet this paragon who could tempt her brother out of his bachelor life. Yet, she worried that he would become ill again on the other. Mr. Bingley cut in stating, "I'm going with you both." Darcy didn't reply to this but told them both to go and change and meet him outside in half an hour; he’d call the carriage. Bugger! It seems I misread Bingley’s feelings also. God, I’ve buggered up everything! To be fair he’s claimed to be in love so many times that to miss his feelings could have been excusable. No, I won’t make any excuses, I made a mistake and now I’m going to have to tell him what I’ve done and put that right. What a bloody idiot I’ve been! Yes, Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam were right about me, and I’ve go
t a LOT of making up to do to with everyone in my life.

  Darcy realised, while waiting, that Bingley's situation had an easy solution. It was one that would have to wait. It could would be easy enough. When the Bingley ladies went up to Scarborough, the gentlemen could go to Netherfield. Putting Bingley in the way of Miss Bennet would mean that they would come to a natural conclusion. No more interference needed from anyone. The conclusion would have to lie with Bingley and Miss Bennet. Would Miss Bennet be willing to associate with Bingley after he had broken her heart? Darcy paced his library for the whole of the half hour. He did not want to meet either Miss Bingley or Mrs Hurst. They who would both start up some witticisms about "fine eyes" or abusing Elizabeth. Bingley and Hurst should do something about those two women. They needed to learn their place, but how not to Bingley in the process? Darcy knew without a shadow of a doubt that Mrs Gardiner was superior to Bingley's sisters. Darcy found his patience with Miss Bingley’s behaviour waning, fast! The half-hour seemed to pass slowly. Georgiana and Bingley soon appeared in the hall and they all set off to see Elizabeth.

  When they Arrived at the Lambton inn, Darcy considered inviting them all to stay at Pemberley. He quashed the idea and escorted his sister upstairs and told Mr Bingley to wait downstairs. The servant showed the Darcys into a comfortable, but small parlour. Elizabeth, he noticed, was sitting close to the window. She is at the window! Close enough she could have been watching for us, he thought, am I dreaming? Is this happening or am I still in one of my dreams? He introduced Georgiana and watched as Elizabeth Bennet persevered to get Georgiana talking.