1812 How It All Began- Part 2

by Deborah E Pearson

When they reached the top of the Mount, Darcy got a mischievous look on his face and turned to Elizabeth. It was the first time she had seen this playful side of his nature. It was something that he hid too well. Elizabeth was a little surprised and waited for him to do whatever it was that he wanted to. He reached into one of his coat pockets, and drew out a small rectangular box, and handed it to her. Written on it in his even handwriting, “To my dearest Elizabeth, With all my love, Fitzwilliam.”

  Upon opening the box, she saw a beautiful, seashell pink fan with her name engraved on it. She took it out of the box and opened it. The fan was made from the finest silk. It was such a delicate weave, that it shimmered and looked beautiful. She re-folded it and placed it back in the box. Instead of saying thank you, she turned her face up and planted a kiss on his lips. It was an impulsive move that surprised Darcy. He didn’t know what he was doing before he had returned her kiss with one of his own. Their kiss was all that was passionate and hungry. Quickly they both collected themselves, and decorum restored. “Whatever would my mother say if she knew what was going on?!” Elizabeth laughed, her voice took on her mother’s shrill tone. Darcy cringed for a moment as she laughed: “Lizzy, how can you behave so with that odious man?!”

  At that, Darcy laughed. Then he turned serious “And when will you tell your mother that ‘odious man’ is to be her son-in-law? Or perhaps that ‘odious man’ should ask her?”

  “No, leave that to me. You know how my mother behaves. I don’t think I could bear you to see either her effusions of joy or her effusion of disapprobation. She won’t do herself credit either way. If you ask my father this evening and he agrees, then I’ll tell my mother tonight when we go to bed.”

  “Alright, but you know that I will be that ‘odious man’”

  “Of course, but promise me one thing?”

  “What’s that?”

  “You won’t be quite so quiet tonight after dinner.”

  “Well, if talking to your father does not take the whole evening I promise that I will speak to you more.” And so, they continued until they got back to the house. He waited in the hall until she returned from her room putting her parasol away. They entered the drawing-room together. Jane and Mr Bingley were talking earnestly, and they called Elizabeth and Darcy over for a private tête-à-tête. Moving to the work table, Jane picked up some sewing, and Mr Bingley sat next to her. Darcy sat next to his friend and Elizabeth sat between Jane and Darcy. The two girls pretended to sew. Mr Bingley said in low tones “Lizzy, Darcy, Jane and I were talking, and we were thinking how about a double wedding?”

  “I like the idea,” replied Darcy and Elizabeth together,

  Jane immediately smiled at Mr Bingley, and Darcy gave Elizabeth a long loving look. It was only the four of them in the drawing room. Everyone else was pursuing their own interests and accomplishments in other parts of the house. Darcy took the chance of planting a quick kiss on Elizabeth’s lips. “Well, Darcy, you are becoming very bold!” Bingley teased.

  “Why should I not be?” replied Darcy and both he and Elizabeth coloured. “After all, we all know I am marrying Elizabeth, besides it is only us here, right now.”

  “Perhaps it would be better not to be so bold until it is generally known that you two are getting married.” Jane cautioned quietly. Her warning that was just in time, for at that moment, Kitty came in. Her mother followed soon after. Within five minutes, everyone was summoned to dinner. Darcy placed himself by Elizabeth.

  Dinner passed off quietly. Darcy and Elizabeth maintained a tolerable conversation. Mr Bennet kept the separation of the sexes to a minimum. Within a quarter of an hour, the gentlemen were back with the ladies. Mr Bennet did not stay long but withdrew to his library as soon as he could politely decamp. Darcy rose and quietly followed him. He gave Elizabeth a loving look before he slipped through the parlour door.

  Darcy knocked on the door of the library “Come in,” Mr Bennet called.

  “Sir, I would appreciate a few minutes of your time if I may.” Darcy started entering Mr Bennet's refuge.

  “Certainly, come in and take a seat.” The library, though not as vast as his own at Pemberley, was well stocked. The titles of the books were such that they did justice to the sense of Mr Bennet. It reminded him very much of his own library in town. Darcy sat down and felt as nervous and agitated as he did in April. Tonight, would mark a change in his life if Mr Bennet agreed and gave his blessing there would be no turning back.

  “I presume the company of so many ladies has become rather tiresome.” Mr Bennet seemed to have no idea what this interview was to be about. That would make Darcy’s task more difficult, but not impossible.

  Darcy grinned, “Indeed not, or rather not the company of one that is in the drawing room. Mr Bennet, I know that what I am about to say will surprise you – shock you even, but it cannot be helped. Ever since I met Elizabeth, I have felt an interest in her that has grown into a very strong admiration and love. It is on this basis now that having asked Elizabeth and been accepted. I now apply to for your blessing and permission to marry your daughter.” Throughout this short speech, the look on Mr Bennet’s face went from surprise to shock to worried.

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Darcy, has not my daughter always pointedly disliked you? Why is it that I had not any inkling that you had any tolerable feelings towards my daughter?”

  “I understand, from what Elizabeth has said, that my own manners were at fault, sir. When I arrived in Hertfordshire a year ago, it was fresh from narrowly avoiding a personal tragedy. I was conscious of how close I was struggling with the hurt and worry about my sister. I also struggled with my growing attraction to Elizabeth. That was because of my family expectations. Add onto that I have never been able to recommend myself to strangers like my friend does. I ended up behaving in a manner that was offensive and rude. For that, Sir, please allow me to apologise. My remorse over it is more than I can express. You are correct that Elizabeth held a pointed dislike for me. When I saw Elizabeth in Kent, I already knew my heart could not be denied. So one night I visited her in the Hunsford parsonage. There, I first proposed to her in April, but she, correctly, refused me. She gave me some very hard to swallow truths." Here, Darcy saw Mr Bennet quietly chuckle. Darcy continued on "I will not burden you with all my hopes and struggles. When I met her again at Pemberley in August my hopes again revived, but events cut her time in Derbyshire short. It was not until yesterday morning that I again applied for her hand. She assured me her feelings were the opposite to what they had been and would now happily accept me. In fact, she looks jubilant. She is very dear to me, Mr Bennet. I am sorry for not being as open in my attention and intentions as my friend Mr Bingley and your daughter Jane. I have always been so reserved that it has been very hard for me to ever show what I was feeling or thinking.”

  “Well, well. If what you say is correct, you have my permission and blessing.” The smile and emotion that covered Darcy's face at this did more to convince Mr Bennet than all Darcy's words. "I understand reserve. Please take some advise from an old man. Do not allow your reserve to hold you back from talking to Elizabeth. In the early days I did that with my wife, and now," a look of sadness passed across the elder man's face. "Now I realise how much I hurt my marriage. My wife is not as intelligent as Elizabeth, and we get along tolerably, though not well. You will hurt Elizabeth with the distance it will create. I ask one more thing.”

  “What would that be, sir?”

  “Please, could you send Elizabeth to talk to me? I wish to speak with her before things go any further.”

  “Thank you, sir, please could I ask you not to say anything until Elizabeth has spoken to her mother?” I promised Elizabeth that she could tell her mother without me around, a promise I intend to keep.

  “Of course, sir.” With that Darcy quitted the library. He returned to the drawing room, where Elizabeth and the others were sitting. He noticed that Elizabeth was working with Kitty at the table. Bingley and Jane were playing vingt-un w
ith her mother. Darcy then moved over to the table where Elizabeth was working. Pretended to admire her work, but whispered: “Go to your father, he wants you in the library”. Oh, how he wanted to shout from the rooftop that Mr. Bennet had consented and that he and Elizabeth were engaged. He felt like he was going to burst he was so jubilant. He sat down and had to wait until Elizabeth returned. Mr Bennet's advise rang in his ears. The man seemed to understand him better than he did himself. Darcy wondered if he would have listened had Mr Bennet given him that advise last year. He was not used to listening to anyone or even asking for advise. Normally unasked advise would irk him tremendously. Darcy could see how it was that his reserve had built the foundation for his disappointment. Had he been more open with Elizabeth earlier, would that have mad a difference? He had no idea, but what he did know was that it was his mistakes that had allowed Elizabeth to feel that she did not like him.

  Those in the drawing room seemed to ignore him. This suited his pensive mood as he waited for Elizabeth to return. He was very anxious would her father talk her out of accepting him? What was her father saying to Elizabeth? Half an hour passed. Still no Elizabeth. Bingley started to talk about leaving. Darcy was restless as he waited for her. In due course, Elizabeth returned and smiled broadly at him. Instantly Darcy’s anxieties calmed, and he knew all to be well. He was now settled, secure and happy. Elizabeth is mine! He could not stop the smile on his face. Their open engagement was starting, he no longer had to struggle against or hide how he was feeling. Unfortunately, Bingley now chose to go. As her mother did not yet know, he had to leave with his friend. He could not extend their time here, and so they moved towards the door. Eventually, he got to talk to Elizabeth and said in a very quiet voice “What did your father say?”

  In a whisper she answered. “As we expected, he was only concerned because he wasn’t aware that we had any affection for each other.” A very reasonable concern.

  “All’s well then, you convinced him?”

  “Yes. You?”

  “I think so.” Then leaning in close to Elizabeth to make sure that he was not overheard he said, “I love you, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Leaning in so close, the temptation to kiss her again was too much. He stayed only long enough to hear her reply “I love you, too.” He quickly moved back and then was gone to mount his horse and return to Netherfield with his friend.

  The ride to Netherfield was a slow one. Darkness had fallen, and there was little light from the moon that night, and so the horses had to be careful and slow. They arrived back at Netherfield without mishap and soon were sitting in the saloon. “Well, Darcy, your face tells me that her father gave his consent.”

  “Yes, he did.” Darcy had not stopped grinning since Lizzy had returned to the parlour.

  “So, when was it that you and Lizzy were thinking of setting the date?” asked Bingley

  “Well, I did ask her to set it for before the end of November,” replied Darcy.

  “Jane and I were thinking of early December. I don’t think Jane will mind bringing it forward a bit.” Bingley seemed to be more thoughtful than was desirable.

  “Let’s wait, and we can all talk about it together tomorrow.”

  “Of course, although you can bet your life that Lizzy and Jane are talking about it.”

  “Women always talk about such things more than we do.” Right then he could think of nothing better than discussing the topic. Being practical he knew it would be so much better to discuss it when all four of them were together.

  “What about our suits, have you thought about what colour suit you want to be married in?”

  “Not much, although I do have a navy blue one ordered, from my tailor.”

  “Darcy, you sly thing, you had it planned, and were very sure of her saying yes.”

  “I wanted her to agree to it very much! After April I was not sanguine of her acceptance until she finally agreed yesterday. I figured that if she didn’t agree, then I could use the suit for something else if she didn’t say yes.” Bingley suspected that Darcy had not told him everything, but it was of no consequence so let it go.

  “Well, navy is a good colour, perhaps I should visit the tailor in London to order a navy one as well.” Bingley nonchalantly threw the idea out.

  “You’ll have to go to London, for that.”

  “No doubt. I m sure Jane and Lizzy would go with us. After all, their aunt and uncle are in London, they can stay with them.”

  “I said something like that to Elizabeth today. Besides, I am anxious to show her my London house. She's seen Pemberley...” Darcy’s voice trailed off then as he imagined Elizabeth at Pemberley.

  “I am sure you are. Jane will be coming over tomorrow to see how she wants to decorate the house. She has not been here much and now it is the time that she came and viewed the house as my bride.” Oh no! I am NOT going to be around here with Jane viewing her future home. This one, Bingley, you’ll have to do on your own, I’ll have my turn when we get to London and Pemberley. I do hope Elizabeth does not want to redecorate my home too much. Goodness knows that both houses could do with a degree of redecoration. Most of the rooms haven’t were last decorated when Mama did them before I was even born.

  “Well, then I will stay at Longbourn with Elizabeth.” Although he was happy he had not the slightest wish of being around a woman who was viewing her future home. Unless that woman was Elizabeth, and he knew it would not be Elizabeth tomorrow.

  “Caroline will not be happy! She decorated throughout when we moved here last year.” Bingley’s observation seemed to throw a pall over the room. It was as if the very furniture cringed at the mention of the harpy who was Bingley’s sister.

  “You are not marrying to make your sister happy, Bingley! Caroline will not be happy whatever happens. I am not sure she is capable of experiencing happiness.” Darcy knew that this statement sounded harsh. The more he thought about Caroline Bingley’s behaviour, the more convinced he became.

  “Darcy, a year ago many would have said the same about you!” The glare that Darcy threw at Bingley was not missed “Come, now! You know what I am talking about. You had not one single good word to say about any of Hertfordshire when you arrived.”

  A groan escaped Darcy, and his face took on such a tortured look that Bingley feared he had overstepped the mark. Instead, tears streamed down Darcy’s face as he relived the anguish and torture of the last year. Bingley shifted in his chair, uncomfortable. What an ass I was! I failed Georgiana spectacularly with Mrs Young and the whole Ramsgate debacle. I should not have come to Hertfordshire at the time I did. I was so worried about Georgiana. That combined with my natural awkwardness and reserve meant that I wasn’t thinking right. Nor was I behaving properly. I thought myself above the only woman worth pleasing. I insulted her, and I insulted her whole community. What did I do right? NOTHING! That’s what! I cannot ask what was wrong with me as dearest Elizabeth, showed me exactly what was wrong! I had my priorities around the wrong way. I thought to highly of myself. I had too much of both pride and vanity, though I would not admit to being vain! Georgiana has not had a good example from me. The torture of last year was all my own making. Darcy would have continued silently berating himself thus all night. He had not noticed the tears. It was as if the dam had burst and everything he kept hidden from the world wanted to burst forth. Bingley interrupted Darcy’s musings.

  “Darcy, old man.” Bingley wasn’t sure exactly how to get Darcy talking, and wished that Darcy’s cousin the colonel was there. The colonel always knew how to get Darcy talking. “You carry everything on your shoulders. Remember a problem shared is a problem halved.”

  “Bingley, I’ve been so fucking high in the instep this past year Bingley! You’re better off not knowing." Darcy almost exploded in his anger at himself.

  Bingley had heard the men at the club swearing and knew men would let rip when out of the hearing of ladies. He was not used to hearing Darcy use such language and knew now more than ever that Darcy had to ta
lk. “Come on, Darcy, it can’t be that bad, and it's obviously tearing you apart.”

  Darcy suddenly focused on Bingley and rounded ferociously on Bingley. “You have no bloody idea! Of course not, your sisters were all grown up when your father died. The highest expectations placed on your shoulders were to marry above yourself. Which you are doing with Miss Bennet and to get an estate. Bingley, I’ve managed to fail in all my responsibilities and more this past year. Oh, don’t get me wrong, Pemberley has not suffered, but in the things that are important? Yes, I have buggered everything up! Oh, I wish that I could tell you the whole story of the debacle from Ramsgate, but that is not my story to tell! Suffice to say that I should never have hired my sister’s previous companion! She turned out to be totally unsuitable! When I found out what did I do? I went to the whole situation like a bull in a china shop. I was the one who felt hurt and betrayed! Yes, I knew who the principal sufferer was, and that was not me, but that did not stop my bloody mind making all about me!

  “I carried my bad mood from that when I came into Hertfordshire. I alienated the whole of Hertfordshire through my bloody arrogance mixed with shyness. I did not want to be bothered. I thought if I trusted anyone, I would be the one to be betrayed again! I thought that by keeping the world at bay, I would be safe. I could once again be happy and that I could will my sister to be happy again also.

  “Oh yes, I had not one good word to say for anyone. I hid behind my emotions a mask of indifference; I didn’t want to know anyone! When you tried to force me into dancing, I bloody panicked. I said the first ridiculous thing that came into my head. I carried on and thought I knew better than everyone. I misjudged your feelings and those of Miss Bennet. I hurt you both unforgivably. I hid even from you that I was falling in love with Elizabeth, I felt so threatened by it all. That bitch I call aunt in Kent, has been pressing me since I was a child to marry her milk-sop daughter. When I finally had enough and called her on it – I end up with a fucking breach between us. My other aunts and uncles were pressing me to find some weak society miss to marry. One who would bring in a large bloody dowry. What did I do? I continued on thinking I bloody well knew best! I asked for no advice; I shared my problems with no one!