by D Scott
My mind shifts to all the ways I made love to her in my bed, and my cocks gives another painful throb. The tent in my shorts is obscene, but I try to force myself to breathe through it. I haven't had any kind of release since Gina's been gone and I'm trying to hold out. The idea of cumming without my girl doesn't feel right, but I'm so hard, I might not have a choice.
I had some time to think and reflect on things while I was back home in Indiana, and that helped settle some of the anger I was feeling. But sexual frustration is a completely different animal.
I've been putting in extra time at the gym to take the edge off, but right now I'm too hard for a workout. So instead, I grit my teeth and lift up off the couch to head for the shower. I don't have to be at work for several hours but going in early beats the hell out of sitting around the house daydreaming about my little misfit.
Yeah — going in early sounds good.
Maybe if I'm lucky maybe my dick will have calm down and I can get a workout in at some point. But as my cock throbs another time, I’m doubtful that my raging hard on is going away any time soon.
Guess I’m taking another ice cold shower.
Gina
One Month Later
I sigh as I make myself take another bite of my BLT sandwich. Then another.
I finish off my bag of sour cream and onion chips then take the last bite of my sandwich, before getting out my notebook. I write down my meal along with the day and time before putting my notebook back in my bag.
It's been over two months since I left town and words can't describe how hard it was on me. I was so sad and so heartbroken those first few days I didn't know what to do with myself. Initially I just cried and slept a lot once we found a place to stay just outside of Dallas, about three hours from home. We tossed our phones, switched out our license plates, and stuck to using cash in order to stay off the grid. Greg had some connections that were able to put us up in an abandoned house so that we could lie low.
Well, I was lying low.
Greg went right back to doing the same things that he and Gordon got busted for back home, as if being on the run was no big deal. But I was so lost in my own feelings, I didn't even have the energy to confront him about it. In fact, I barely spoke to him at all once we got settled. I was surprisingly numb to the fact that our family had been split apart. I was just heartbroken over Gavin, and the fact that he had something to do with it, knowing how important my family was to me.
I gave myself the first few days of the move to do nothing but cry and sleep. Greg didn't ask any questions and I didn't offer any answers, besides I had other things to worry about besides just my brothers. I had my baby to think about — Gavin's baby — and it was the most important thing in my world. So I picked myself up after spending those few days feeling sorry for myself and got my act together.
I called the local high school and inquired about how to finish my classes so I could still receive my diploma and also And because there is a higher power watching over me, I was able to find out that I could transfer my class credits to the nearby and finish my classes under their online curriculum.
I also called around to find a doctor who could monitor me through my pregnancy. I hadn't been feeling well after leaving home so I wanted to call and schedule a check up to make sure everything was alright. I'd never forgive myself if I negligently hurt my child because I wasn't strong enough to deal with the real world. And, thankfully, after a few phone calls I was able to find and make an appointment for the same week. Of course I didn't tell Greg about the appointment or the baby, even, so I went to it on my own.
The doctor was surprisingly young, with dark brown skin like mine and a kind smile that contrasted with her no-nonsense bedside manner. She wasn’t mean or anything, but whereas my doctor back home asked questions in a gentle and inquisitive manner, this lady got right to the point. She let me know that I wasn’t doing the baby any good by slacking on my self-care, and told me that I could experience complications down the road if I didn’t maintain the proper amount of nourishment and keep myself hydrated with fluids. Things I already knew but it was just a wake up call to hear the doctor say it in such a matter of fact way — that if I wanted my child to be healthy I had to take care of myself not allow myself to stay curled up in a ball wallowing in my own pity. She didn’t add that last part but I’m sure she would have if she’d known that’s what I’d been doing.
Actually, thinking back, she didn’t truly say that I needed to start a food diary, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. And I’ve been keeping up with it ever since. It’s kind of turned into a full on diary though, because I’ve been using it to log my thoughts and feelings as well as my progress through my pregnancy.
I’ve been taking it day by day, and even though it's hard without Gavin, I'm doing pretty well. I'm past my first trimester and my lower tummy has a small little bump that I already love.
Just knowing I'm carrying a creation of Gavin and I in my womb, warms my heart more than I ever thought it could.
Gavin
One Month Later
I slap my hand on the wrestling mat, trying to tap out but it does nothing. The arm wrapped around my neck like a vice is cutting off my air supply and won't let go.
"Dammit, I tapped out," I grunt.
"So...is that a forfeit?"
"Fine, yeah, it's a forfeit." Liv lets go, and I cough as air suddenly fills my lungs.
She laughs as she unwraps herself from the spider monkey hold she has on me.
"Told you my skills have improved since the last time we sparred," she teases.
I give my neck a rub and sit up on the mat as Liv rolls over and sits up next me. She slaps her hand on my shoulder and I have to resist the urge to push it off. The girl lives for competition, and loves to win, but she almost suffocated me to do it.
"Aww, don't be so salty — you put up a good effort." I raise my brow at her. This is the first sparring match she's won against me in the four years we've known each other, and I already know I'm never gonna live it down. "You do know that's the only sparring match you've ever bested me in, right?"
She grins and shrugs. "This is true, but I foresee a lot more wins in the future." She chuckles to herself but I can't shake the uncomfortable feeling I have hearing her say that.
Olivia and I have been friends since we went through the police academy together, but once we both finished we went our separate ways. We never really hung after that, even though she only lives a couple towns over, and the only reason we've reconnected is because of the drug bust she was apart of. Since then we've been hanging out pretty often though, she knows about Gina leaving town, and she's been helping me take my mind off my girl being gone. But hearing her say we'll be having many sparring matches in the future makes me uncomfortable because I know my girl is coming back, and when she does, I don't know how comfortable she'd feel about the two of us hanging out. Hell, she didn't even like hearing about how the two of us used to hook up when we going through the academy, which is why I kept quiet about the few times Liv and I got together to talk about the raid. In hindsight I shouldn't have ever hid it, considering I wasn't cheating or anything and Gina never kept anything from me. But what's done is done, I can only learn from it and promise myself that I won't do some stupid shit like that once my little misfit is back.
Which brings me back to Liv. I value her friendship and appreciate that she's been keeping me company lately, but once Gina gets back the decision is on her. If she doesn't feel comfortable about me having a close friendship with Liv then I'll respect that and back it off. I just don't want Liv to end up thinking I used her while my girl was gone.
I'll handle that situation if or when it ever comes up though, first, my little misfit has to come back home.
Live gives me another slap on the shoulder jarring me from my thoughts.
"So, since I won today I guess that means you're treating me to lunch then?"
I roll my eyes. "Yeah, y
eah. Fine, I'll treat you to lunch."
"Yes! I don't have my wallet anyway, so thanks buddy." She smirks, then grabs her towel and hops up off the mat before reaching a hand down to help me up.
I wipe off my sweat with my own towel as we head towards the locker rooms.
"Deli across the street work for you?"
"Yeah, that'll work. I'm gonna get changed and grab my stuff, I'll meet you outside in ten," I tell her.
"Okay sounds good."
We go our separate ways once we get to the locker rooms, and after a quick shower and change of clothes, I meet Liv out front.
"Took you long enough, princess."
She cocks her hip and crosses her arms like she's been waiting for an eternity rather than a minute or two.
I lift my brow. "Hey, you're getting a free meal, don't push it."
She grins.
We walk through the parking lot together, dropping our stuff off at our cars, before heading across the street to the deli. Ten minutes later we're sitting outside at a table with our sandwiches. Sparring earlier really did work up my appetite and I'm practically inhaling my sandwich. I can feel Liv watching me as I take another bite of my turkey club but I don't pay it any attention. I keep on eating, but when I finally look back over at Liv I see her attention is still on me and she's barely even eaten.
"What?" I ask before taking another bite. She opens her mouth then closes it, like she's trying to figure out what to say, which isn't usually like her. Liv always just says whatever’s on her mind. "Liv, what?" I ask again around a mouth full of food.
"Nothing. It's just that...well...you're looking extra beefed up these days."
I raise my brow and keep chewing. "What?"
"You've bulked up, like a lot."
I glance down at myself then back at her and shrug. "Yeah, I guess."
Honestly, I haven't really noticed.
"You used to be incredibly lean but now you look different—,” her eyes scan over me, “bigger, bulkier. How often are you working out?"
I knit my brows.
What kind of question is that?
"I don't know — I don't really think about it. I stay in shape for the job, but I guess I've upped it a little."
Her brows lift. "That's it?"
I shrug. "Yeah. I mean, I guess I've added some workouts here and there whenever I need to take my mind off missing Gina."
She nods slowly then leans back in her seat and crosses her arms. "So that's it. You've been working out to compensate for the fact that you miss her." Again, I shrug. "And she's been gone for how long now?"
I clench my jaw as I set down my sandwich. She knows exactly how long it's been and I tell her so.
"You know how long it's been," I answer steadily.
"Okay, so maybe I do. And knowing how long it's been since she left, what makes you think she's actually going to come back?"
"She’s going to come back," I tell her firmly.
"But what makes you so sure?"
She's fishing for an answer that I'm not going to give her. It's no one's business but mine how I know Gina will come back. "Because I know my girl," I tell her.
My words are hard — not trying to hide the fact that I'm getting pissed off.
"What does that even mean? Gavin, she's been gone for months. No text, no phone call, no nothing. Yet here you are, confident that she's going to come back."
"Yeah, I am. And what does it even matter?"
"It matters because you're still pining after some girl who left you. Months ago."
"She is not just some girl," I say angrily. "Gina is mine and she'll come back when she's ready. And when she does, I'll be ready too." I force myself to take a breath.
"Why the hell are you pushing this so hard?"
"Because I care. And because it's crazy to me that you are seriously hung up over some high school girl that didn't so much as hesitate to choose her family over you."
"Watch it," I warn. Gina may be gone, but no one is going to talk bad about her.
She sighs. “Gavin, her brothers are criminals. And we all know the kind of stuff that goes down in their neighborhood, hell — they even got her involved — and then she skipped town with one of them. Do you really know the type of person she is?"
"Yeah, I do. I know everything I need to know about her." Like the fact that she’s loyal to a fault, but I keep that to myself. I don't need anyone to tell me who Gina is because I already know. "You know what, I've gotta go. I've lost my appetite."
I wrap up what's let of my food and grab my stuff.
"Gavin, wait, don't go."
I ignore her and lift out of my chair, throwing my trash away before heading back the way we came. I don't need to turn around to know Liv is following behind me but I'm so pissed off I don't even care. She had the nerve to sit there and try to make me doubt my woman — or whatever the fuck she was trying to do — knowing how much Gina means to me. At least I thought she knew, but after the shit that just came out of her mouth I'm not so sure. I do know that I need to head home and blow off some steam though, before I say something that I'll regret.
"Gavin!" She calls my name for about the dozenth time but I have no desire to stop and hear her out — she said all that she needed to say. I make it back to my car and open the door, only for Liv to come out from behind me and slam it back shut.
"Gavin."
I clench my jaw and silently count to ten before turning to face her.
"I'm done with this conversation, Liv."
"Look, just hold on a second. I know you didn't like what I had to say but it needed to be said. And you know I only said those things because I care about you." I raise my brow. "Don't look at me like that, you know that I do. We go way back and I'm just trying to look out for you."
"I'm a grown man, Liv."
"Yeah you are, but this girl has got you under her spell and you can't even see it. Seriously, do you even see how it looks for you to be so hung up over that girl?"
Like I give a damn what anyone else thinks.
I shake my head and open my door again. "Good talk."
Liv slams the door shut again and quickly maneuvers herself between me and my car, blocking me from getting in.
"I'm being serious here, Gavin. That girl is trouble, and I'm not the only one who thinks it." That's not entirely surprising to hear considering the shit that came out of Brody's mouth a couple months ago, but it's good to know.
Hearing it from Liv is tough though.
She's had my back through all of this, but I guess until now, she's just been smiling to my face and talking shit when I'm not around. I have nothing else to say so I just keep my face blank and wait for her to be done so she can move out of the way.
"I don't want you to leave like this. I know it's tough to hear but I'm just being honest."
"Yeah, so let me ask this. If you’re suddenly being so honest, what were you doing for the last three months?" Again she opens her mouth before closing it again, unsure of what to say. "That's what I thought.” I shake my head as I reach behind her and open my door before moving past her. "I'll see you around."
Gavin
One Month Later
I step in closer to the boxing bag and give it a few more jabs before stepping back and shaking out my arms. I'm dripping with sweat and I'm tired as hell but I'm almost done with my workout so I'm forcing myself to push through. I shake my head, letting some of my sweat fly, before stepping back to the bag setting my feet and giving it another round of punches.
I'm so focused delivering blow after blow, I don't notice who's right behind me.
"Whoa there slugger — leave some sand in there for the rest of us."
I pause and use two hands to still the bag before turning around to face Liv. She's standing there wearing a smirk and a revealing exercise outfit with a towel draped over her shoulder. She's got her hand on her hips and looks like she just finished a workout, b
ut I don't know why she's interrupting mine. We haven't talked since she made her true feelings about Gina known when we were getting lunch a month ago, and I still have nothing to say to her. She said some foul stuff about my girl, then tried to insinuate that I don't know who Gina is, and I refuse to let it slide.
I grab my towel and use it to wipe my face before giving her my full attention.
"What do you want, Liv?"
"Seriously? Come on, it's been a month, Gavin. Are you really just going to stop speaking to me?" I shrug as I wipe off my neck. "Really? This isn't middle school."
"Look, Liv, I honestly don't know what you want from me."
"I want you to stop giving me the silent treatment and forgive me."
"I'm not giving you the silent treatment, I just don't have anything to say to you."
"You don't have anything to say to me?"
I shrug again. "I really don't. You blind sided me with some fuckery and expected me to just sit there and take it."
She rolls her eyes upwards and heaves out a breath before looking back at me.
"Okay, you're right. I did kind of blind side you, but I spent months listening to go on and on about her...and I guess I just snapped a little bit. I didn't intend to come at you like that, I was just trying to be honest." I keep my expression blank, acknowledging her words with a nod. "Look," she pauses and looks around the busy gym, "I don't want to do this here. Do you want to come by my place so that we can talk?"
She bites her lip.
"I don't really feel like talking, to be honest."
She bites her lip as she nods her head slowly, and I don't miss the way her eyes sweep over me as she does.
Then she steps closer, closing the gap between us, and places her hands on my chest. "Well, if you don't want to talk, I'm sure we could come up with something else to do." The way she looks up at me through her lashes is a clear giveaway of the something else she has in mind.