Deputy

by D Scott

  Speak of the devil, I hear the shower cut off in the master bathroom and I make my way to the kitchen. I have at least five more weeks before I can be intimate with Gavin, and I'd rather not tempt myself.

  You'd think it'd be easy for me not to have sex on the brain considering I just pushed out a seven pound baby two weeks ago but I can't seem to help it.

  Dumb post-pregnancy hormones.

  Not that it matters though, because I'm not even sure if wants me like he used to. He used to take me like three times in one day, but he hasn't tried to touch me at all since we came home from the hospital. Of course we were both listening when the doctor said no sex for six weeks, but that doesn't mean we can't do other things.

  I sigh, and wash the few dishes that I left in the sink from earlier. I finish them and then move to the living room to tidy it up when Gavin walks in and heads towards the kitchen. I watch as he goes to the refrigerator and grabs a beer, wearing nothing but a pair of athletic shorts. When he turns around I have to pry my eyes away from his body and focus back on what I was doing. I force myself not to sneak peaks, even though I want nothing more than to swoon over his muscular body.

  Don’t get me wrong his body was amazing before I left town — lean and muscular in all the right places — but now, I have no words. He’s added some serious bulk to every part of his body, and see him wearing nothing but some gym shorts has my reproductive system ready to give him another baby.

  “Everything was okay today?”

  I glance at him and nod. We haven’t had the chance to talk much since he showers and plays with Ginny right after he gets home up until I put her down for bed. Usually I update him on how our days go once she’s down for a few hours.

  “She was a little fussy today but she only managed to spit up on me twice. So I consider it a success.”

  He chuckles as he walks over to the couch and sits down.

  “And how are you feeling?”

  “Good. You know, tired and frumpy, but good. This whole sleeping when she sleeps thing is kind of difficult to balance with keeping the house clean and getting laundry done, but I’m managing.”

  I finish folding the throw blanket and set it on the back of the love seat.

  “I told you not to worry about that.”

  It’s true he did.

  I shrug. “Well, I’m home alone all day what else am I going to do?”

  “Relax, and enjoy being a new mother.”

  “I’m already doing that, I’m just doing other things too. Besides, laying around doing nothing all day is not gonna help bring back my waistline,” I joke.

  “You just had a baby, you don’t need to be worrying about that right now.”

  “Mmm, I’m pretty sure all mothers worry about that after giving birth.”

  He clears his throat.

  “That may be, but my only concern is you. Besides, you always look beautiful.”

  He says that and my heart skips a beat.

  “Really?” It’s a little hard to believe that when I’ve been wearing nothing but night gowns for the past two weeks. “You’re not just saying that?” My eyes drop to the chain around his neck holding his ring. I’d rather it be on his ring finger like mine is, but seeing it hang against his bare chest is sexy, too.

  “You’ll always be beautiful to me, Gina.” The way he says it, his voice all soft and earnest, fills my entire body with warmth.

  Before I can even think about it I’m moving — straddling his lap and leaning forwards until my lips collide with his. His hands move to my waist as my tongue enters his mouth and my full breasts press into his chest. I gently rub against his hard length and clutch his shoulders, trying to get as close to him as possible. I moan into his mouth only to yelp when he suddenly pulls back and sets me away from him.

  “What—what’s wrong? Why’d you stop?”

  He lets out a harsh breath and runs his hands down his face.

  “Gina, you just gave birth.”

  “Yes and...?”

  “And you know I can’t touch you for at least six weeks.”

  “We were just kissing. The doctor never said we couldn’t do that. And besides, we don’t have to have sex...we can do other stuff.”

  He shakes his head. “Not happening.”

  “How can you say that? I’m your wife.”

  “Yeah, who just had my kid after being gone for six months.”

  “So?”

  “So do you really think I’ll have enough self control not to take you after going six months without you?”

  I cross my arms. “Is that the only reason?”

  “What other reason would there be?”

  A tall, toned brunette with perfect hair comes to mind.

  I lift a brow. “I don’t know, you tell me.”

  He knits his brows. “There’s nothing to tell.”

  “So you didn’t touch another woman while I was gone?”

  “What the f—no! We’re married, I wouldn’t do that.”

  I nod. “Fine.”

  “No, it’s not fine. You clearly have something on your mind, so say it.”

  I open my mouth to let him have it but nothing comes out.

  Suddenly a feeling of sadness and fatigue washes over me and I’m not in the mood for this conversation anymore.

  Thank a lot, hormones.

  I lift up off the couch with a sigh. “I’m not doing this.”

  “We’re gonna need to have this out at some point, Gina.”

  “Yeah? Well, tonight’s not the night.” I turn and head down the hall.

  The guest room Gavin put me in our first weekend together is now Ginny’s nursery, so I’ve been sleeping in his room since it’s the only other option that’s not too far down the hall from her. And with Gavin sleeping on the couch each night, I have the whole bed to myself.

  It’s terrible.

  Before I left town, I never slept alone in his bed. But since I’ve been back, it’s become an everyday occurrence — and I don’t like it at all.

  Chapter 13

  Gavin

  Friday

  "I'll deal with your ass later, that was fucked and you know it."

  Shane storms off with Vanessa in tow, leaving me standing there feeling like a complete bastard. I turn, slamming my first down onto the desk next to me.

  Dammit.

  I let that situation get way out of hand and there's no excuse. I know better than to let my emotions get the best of me and yet I completely went left on Vanessa.

  Shit, I owe her an apology.

  Yeah, she was in the wrong, too, but I didn't need to come down so hard on her. The ticket I gave her for jaywalking was supposed to serve as a warning, it wasn't even fifty dollars, and she crossed the busiest intersection in town. No there weren't a bunch of cars around, but there were some — enough that her crossing the street at the wrong time could've put her or the people driving in danger. It may sound bogus but I really was just trying to do my job and keep everyone safe.

  Then she got upset.

  She started ranting and raving and saying some off-colored shit so I brought her in so we could set shit straight once she cooled down. Only, she never did. She ranted the whole way to the station and even as I was bringing her in. Then Shane stepped in, and she started spouting even more off-colored shit and I just snapped and made that asshole comment.

  And what would someone like you know about being innocent?

  I didn't even mean it — it just slipped out. And I feel like an ass for saying it.

  Honestly, I don't even have a problem with her, she’s a nice girl. But when she was sassing back at me she reminded me so much of Gina. And I guess the fatigue of having a newborn, and the lingering tension between my wife and I caught up to me, and I acted like a complete jerk.

  I know there’s no excuse and I take full responsibility for how I reacted. And of course I’m going to apologize to Vanessa. She doesn't deserve for me to take my frustrations out on her when
it's really my wife I'm frustrated with. Only I can't be frustrated with her because she just gave birth to our daughter two and a half weeks ago and it would make me an even bigger ass to confront her. Not that I could though, considering she's been giving me the silent treatment for the last two days.

  Since the night that I refused to touch her, she hasn't spoken to me about anything other than stuff regarding Ginny. And when she's not updating me about our daughter, like letting me know when their next doctor's appointment is, she's cleaning something or doing laundry, anything she can do to avoid talking to me.

  I run my hands over my face.

  I know we're going to have it out at some point, and right now, I'm hoping for sooner rather than later because I don't know how much more I can take.

  I move to my desk and grab everything I need since I'm done for the day. Heading to the locker room, I change out of my uniform to take a shower. Once I’m done I head back to my locker so I can change and go home.

  I miss my daughter, and — even though I'm frustrated with her — I miss my wife, too. Gina's adapted so well to being a mom, but still, leaving them to go to work isn't easy. Then again I want to make sure I can provide for them and give them whatever they need. I try to be as hands-on as possible when I'm home with them though, and we're slowly forming a schedule that works for us.

  A throat clearing pulls me from my thoughts. I don't have to turn around to know who it is, but I do anyway. Shane is standing next to a row of lockers with his arms folded and without saying anything I hold my hands up in a quick surrender.

  "I know, I was wrong. I'm sorry." He lifts his brow. "And what I said to her was out of line and completely uncalled for."

  "Damn straight it was uncalled for — what the hell, Brooks?"

  I run a hand through my wet hair. "I know, I know. I'm sorry."

  "And seriously, a ticket for jaywalking?"

  "Hey, you know that intersection can be dangerous."

  "Alright, fair point. But did you really need to bring her in?"

  "She wouldn't calm the hell down. I didn't want her to do anything crazy because she was upset."

  "So, you don't need to take another mandatory vacation?"

  I shake my head. "No, I'm just dealing with some personal stuff..." I trail off.

  His head tilts in curiosity. "Anything you need to talk about?"

  I shake my head again. "I can handle it."

  He nods. "See that you do."

  "I will, and I'll apologize to Vanessa. Do you know where she went?"

  "I took her to my office to cool down, and she fell asleep. I'll give her a ride back when she wakes up. You can give her an apology another day."

  Fair enough.

  "You headed out?"

  "Yeah, I've gotta get home."

  He gives me another curious look but doesn't say anything, and I don't offer up any more details. After a second he nods, then heads out of the locker room.

  I finish getting dressed before heading out myself.

  "I just put her down in the nursery if you wanna go look in on her."

  I set my bag down on the kitchen table and drop my keys next to it.

  "Yeah, thanks, I will."

  Gina nods and goes back to the magazine she's reading on the couch.

  I walk softly down the hall and creep into the nursery, careful not to wake Ginny. I accidentally did that once right after we brought her home from the hospital and she cried for at least an hour straight. Gina was so pissed at me that if looks could kill, I would've been a goner.

  I learned a very valuable lesson about not waking sleeping babies that day.

  Quietly, I move over to the white crib standing against the far wall of the room and look down at my beautiful daughter — memorizing her every feature. She looks so perfect and innocent and peaceful, and every time I look at her I just want to give her the world and protect her from it at the same time.

  Warmth flows through me as I stare down at the magnificent little being Gina and I created, and I know I could never regret her. She and her mother are the best things to ever happen to me.

  I feel myself smile.

  "She's beautiful, right?"

  I look up to see Gina standing in the doorway. I must've lost track of how long I've been standing here because I didn't even hear her approach.

  "She's perfect," I say, meaning it with every fiber of my being.

  She smiles before turning away and walking back down the hall.

  I follow suite but head towards my room instead. I quickly change into a pair of sweats then stop in the nursery to check on Ginny one more time before heading into the living room. I drop down and sprawl on the couch in my usual way, as Gina sits curled up in the love seat. I close my eyes and let myself relax, paying no attention to the reality show she's watching.

  "I gave Ginny a bath today."

  I open one eye and glance at her. "Yeah? How'd it go?"

  "It was miserable, she wailed the entire time. But I managed not to cry along with her this time, so, progress."

  I chuckle at that.

  Anytime Ginny starts to cry and it lasts longer than thirty-seconds, Gina starts to cry while still trying to find out what Ginny needs. It doesn't happen as much as it did during those first couple of days after we brought her home. But I just try my best to keep calm and do whatever I can to help in those moments.

  Gina turns her attention from the television to me. "How was work?"

  My brows lift in surprise. "So you're speaking to me now?"

  She shrugs. "It was just a question."

  I scoff. "You haven't asked me anything unrelated to our daughter in two days."

  "Then maybe you should stop acting like a jerk."

  What the hell?

  "How am I acting like a jerk when you're the one who refuses to talk to me?"

  She shakes her head. "I'm not doing this."

  "Why not? You don't think I can take what you have to say?” I sit up. “Trust me, babe, I'm more than ready to hear it, because this whole 'you running away every time we get into an argument' thing is getting real old."

  She sits up. "I am not running away."

  "You were gone for six fucking months, what do you call that?" She looks toward the hall and I force myself to take a deep breath. "Let me hear it, what do you call it?" I ask the question but we both know it's rhetorical. "Because I call it running away." My voice rises and I force myself to calm down so I don't wake our sleeping baby. "You ran from me. You. Left. Me. And you never even told me why. Let alone told me that I was going to be a father."

  She wraps her arms around her body and tears stream down her face.

  It hurts me seeing her like that, and I want to go to her — wrap my arms around her and kiss her until she calms down — but I know if I do, we'll never solve this. And I need us to. I need us to work this out and get past this if we're gonna have any shot at building a life together. I want that more than anything, and I’ll do whatever it takes to get there, even if it means having it out in the middle of the living room.

  "Gina—"

  "I was scared." She shakes her head. "I was so scared."

  "Babe—"

  "I went to the doctor to get on the pill like we talked about, and she asked some questions so I answered them honestly. She told me there was a chance I could be pregnant and she wanted to run some tests before putting me on any kind of birth control. Turns out I was already pregnant with Ginny. I didn't know what to feel and I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't want you to be upset or feel guilty about it."

  I knit my brows and lift off the couch to walk over to her. I sit on the coffee table across from her and stare right into her beautiful brown eyes.

  "Why would you think I'd be upset?"

  "Because you told me over and over how you didn't want to knock me up and—"

  I sigh. "Babe, that's not what I said."

  She sniffles. "Yes,
you did. You—"

  "Babe, I know what I said. I said that it'd be incredibly selfish of me to knock you up because you're so young. I said that it would be unfair of me to put a kid in you, but I never said I didn't want to. From the first day we met, I knew I wanted you — knew I wanted to make a life with you. I was trying to make myself wait, to give you more time, but it didn't work out that way. And I don't regret it for a second."

  "Really?"

  "Yeah, really. I've told you over and over again, how much I love you. I told you that I would never leave, and I've stuck to that promise — haven't I?"

  "Yeah," she answers quietly.

  "See? I'm gonna be there for you, babe, always. You've just gotta trust me."

  "I try, but you don't make it easy."

  That has me tilting my head. "What's that supposed to mean?"

  She looks away from me with a sigh.

  "Talk to me, Gina."

  She huffs out a breath and throws her hands up.

  "And say what? Oh, by the way honey, I know that you were sneaking around with some woman who could pass for a model, if she isn't one already."

  Wait...what?

  That's not what I was expecting.

  "Yeah, remember that day I skipped school? I went to the mall with some friends and bought the onesie we brought Ginny home in, to surprise you with. But not even ten minutes after I bought it, I saw you eating lunch with her at the food court, laughing away like neither of you had a care in the world.” She shakes her head. “Then the night I told you that you had an out from our relationship if you wanted one, I overheard you on the phone in the garage talking to someone — who I'm assuming was her. You got pissed off at me for giving you an out, then surprised me with that wedding ceremony when you took me to the city for the weekend."

  More tears run down her face.

  "Gina—"

  "All the while you knew, you fucking knew, that DPD was planning a raid that would lock up my brothers." Her eyes narrow in anger and hurt. "You helped them plan the raid that broke apart the only family I had, and you never even told me. I had to hear about it from my brother,” she cries. “Oh, and then the morning that I went to see you, to ask you about it? That same woman was sitting on your desk, wearing her perfect outfit and laughing with you, as if everything was peachy keen.” She shakes her head. “Then I saw you put your hand on her leg, and I left."