Bad Boys Box Set: Complete Too Bad It’s Fake Romance Collection with New Novella

by Jamie Knight

  “Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth?” Vicky joked.

  “How old do you think I am?” said Jim, incredulous. “She’s always joking about how I sound like an old grumpy man so I just like to point out to everyone that I’m not.”

  “Has it gotten as bad as they say?” asked Carina, as if trying to change the subject away from the brewing argument. She was sweet like that. “I mean, the schools here used to be pretty good.”

  “I don’t know,” sighed Jim. “The kids today; their helicopter parents have messed them up good. They can’t handle anything. Not like James! He’s gonna be a tough guy, right James?”

  “Tough guy,” repeated the toddler.

  “With that scream, I think he’s going to be an opera singer,” I joked. “Or a singer on the Voice. Either one.”

  “He says that, but he has a big heart,” Vicki told us. “He’s a great dad, and not too tough on James.”

  “But not a helicopter parent, either!” Jim insisted.

  The waitress brought the check and Jim handed her his credit card.

  “I got this,” he offered.

  “Oh, c’mon,” I said. “Let me at least give you the tip.”

  “It’s fine, really,” he assured. “You had to listen to my rants and my wife’s bad jokes.”

  “Very funny,” Vicki said, but she was laughing.

  “I’m sorry, sir,” the waitress said uncomfortably. “The restaurant’s power is still off. I don’t think we can process your credit card.”

  “Ask the owner if he has a cellphone and can do it through that,” urged Jim.

  “Okay, sir,” said the waitress, rushing in the back to ask.

  “Anyone up for a dine and dash,” joked Jim. “Because I don’t have any cash on me.”

  “Seriously? You brought no cash?” asked Vicky.

  “I was going to go to the bank on the way home,” Jim confessed.

  “You know you should have cash at all times,” Vicky insisted.

  “Vicky thinks the world is going to end. She watched too many episodes of the Doom Preppers show.”

  “It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when,” insisted Vicky. “And I’m not a believer, I just think you should be prepared in case the world ends.”

  “Are we really going to need money if that happens?” pointed out Carina.

  “Yes and no,” said Vicky. “After a few years or even months, money might be worthless, but you might need it to survive the initial incident.”

  “Which will be what?” I asked.

  “Could be a meteor, nuclear strike, terrorist attack, pandemic, lots of things. The point is, you should be prepared,” she urged.

  “You’re so paranoid,” dismissed Jim. “What next? Zombies?”

  “It could be a disease that makes people like a zombie,” suggested Vicky. “You don’t know. Something could happen. Fortunately, you’re married to me and I’ll have us prepared.”

  “She built us both bug-out bags,” Jim said with a smile.

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “You put a bunch of survival stuff in a backpack, ready-to-go at any time,” she explained. “It has everything, Dried food, maps, compass, knife, matches, water purifier tablets, everything you’d need to survive, at least in the immediate.”

  “You’re serious about this?” Carina asked, unsure.

  “Carina, you have to be ready,” she insisted. “In New York, the first thing you’re gonna wanna do is get out of the city.”

  “Fat chance of that,” I scoffed. “She’ll be trapped in Manhattan. It’s an island. You’d have to wait in a long line to walk the length of the George Washington Bridge to get out of there.”

  “If I worked there, I’d have an inflatable raft,” Vicky said.

  The rest of the table laughed. Jim threw up his hands.

  “I’m serious!” Vicky insisted. “With a raft and a plastic oar you assemble yourself, you can row to Fort Lee and be on your way. Everyone else will be waiting for the ferry.”

  “If the water is like super cold, you could die,” Carina pointed out.

  “The disaster might happen in the summer,” Vicky said. “Either way, better to have it and not need it. Am I right?”

  “If the worst happens and there’s nuclear war, I’m just going to the roof. Get one last blast and watch the whole thing. I’ll be dead, but at least I will have seen the end of humanity.”

  “We’ll miss you, honey,” joked Vicky.

  Our conversation may have taken a turn into the absurd, but at least we were all having a good time.

  Chapter Twelve

  Leo

  After a fun lunch, I headed back to the hotel with Carina. We had a few hours until I was supposed to go out with Jim. Being with Carina felt very natural and I kept forgetting that she was a client. Was she still a client? I didn’t know anymore.

  “What’s wrong, Leo?” she said on the drive back. “You’re like a million miles away.”

  “Oh, I just…We had such a great time,” I said. “I think it went well. Really, really well.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Jim and Vicky see us as a couple.”

  “Yeah, that’s what we are…today.”

  She added “today”. What did that mean after the weekend was over? Then again, who am I kidding? I had no job. I’m just a gigolo when you get right down to it. I couldn’t support Carina just being an escort and what woman would want that?

  By comparison, my other clients were easy. I wasn’t emotionally invested. But now, with Carina, what was I? What was I doing? Should I leave?

  I could build my life up and then come back. But then, she might move on. But if I stay, the money would run out and she’d surely reject me.

  No, I can’t leave. I want her…at least until the weekend was over and she flew back to New York.

  Torn as I was, once we got up to her hotel room we were all over each other. Carina was like a drug I couldn’t resist, and I had become addicted. Her touch, her smell and the sight of her, it consumed me.

  “Take me again, Leo!” she demanded, whispering in my ear. “I want to feel you inside me!”

  I found myself kissing her again, drinking at the Fountain of Carina. I threw her on the bed, tore open her dress and pulled down her panties. She didn’t resist and found the whole process arousing. I buried my face into her pussy and swirled my tongue around her clit.

  “Oh, Leo!” she squealed. “Oh! You’re making me… Oh! I’m cumming!”

  Her juices flowed onto my face. I took my fingers and penetrated her, pumping my hand in and out. As I increased my speed, Carina began to moan louder and louder.

  She begged me not to stop and then, again, her pussy started quivering around my fingers.

  “Oh! Oh, God!” she gasped. “No one’s ever made me cum so hard! And so many times!”

  She grabbed me and started kissing me. Then it was her turn to throw me on the bed. Fumbling with my belt, Carina tore off my pants and boxers, flinging them across the room. I was already quite aroused.

  “I want to taste you,” she said, crawling up my legs. “I want to lick you up and down!”

  She took my shaft in her hand and did just that. Licking up and down my shaft, she gulped the head of my cock and then came down on it. She must’ve repressed her gag reflex pretty well as she almost made it down to the base. Choking a bit, she backed off, drooling all over my cock. The warmness of her lips and tongue continued to stimulate me and I soon found myself on the verge.

  “I think you need to stop,” I warned her. “I’m almost there.”

  “Cum into my mouth,” she requested. “I want to taste you load.”

  Her mouth moved to the base of my shaft and then to my balls. Her tongue gently tickled them, wetting them with her saliva. Carina had been shy in her movements at first, but now that tentativeness was gone. It was I that was a bit awkward. She had overwhelmed me a bit with her confidence, while I dithered inside my own mind about wh
ether or not having sex with her was a good idea.

  Finally, I could not hold back any longer.

  “Oh! Oh, I’m gonna cum!” I warned.

  She did not hesitate to wrap her mouth around the head of my dick. Her sucking pushed me over the edge, and I unleashed. I could feel myself spurting cum down her throat, which she seemed to eagerly consume.

  It was a complete and satisfying blowjob, the likes of which I had never experienced. I felt complete in that moment, knowing that I had expelled every ounce of my essence that I could into her sweet mouth.

  Carina gulped down the load and licked her lips. “Mmm, that was good,” she smiled. “I hope you’re not finished yet.”

  “You might have to give me a few minutes after that,” I panted. “That was really incredible.”

  We rested on the bed, side by side, cuddling for several minutes. I think we may have dozed off for a while, we were both so relaxed. Then, at some point, I leaned over and kissed her and we started making out.

  Since we were already half-naked, we stripped off the rest of our clothes. I grabbed a condom and Carina lay back on the bed, holding her legs apart. Sliding into her, I felt her wetness, warmness and tightness. It all combined for a sensual feeling of pleasure, as I plowed in and out of her.

  “Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah,” she moaned. “Just like that. Just like that.”

  I reached down and tickled her clit as I was fucking her. Carina squealed and then sounded like she was going to cry in pleasure. She was making noises, but the words didn’t make sense.

  I pressed balls deep inside her and she gasped, as did I.

  “Oh, Leo! Yes!” she managed to say in between breathless moans.

  I suddenly came. I thought I could hold it, but this time it kind of just happened. Making a surprised grunt, I felt the condom fill up as I spurted uncontrollably.

  “Whoa, holy shit!” I exclaimed. “Uhn! Ah! Wow.”

  It was then I realize we were both covered in sweat. I flopped down, face first, into the pillow next to her. The orgasms were taking their toll.

  “Do you always have sex like that?” Carina asked. “Because you’re really great at it.”

  “Thanks,” I replied. “You’re not so bad yourself. In fact, you’re amazing.”

  “Leo, can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “What are we now?”

  “I… I don’t know anymore. I don’t know where this went off the rails,” I admitted. “This has become something more than you just being a client.”

  “What are we going to do?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Carina

  Leo and I kind of left things weird and open. I didn’t want to pressure him and quite frankly, I wasn’t sure what I wanted either. Maybe we both needed time to process our feelings.

  That night, I went to babysit with Vicky while Leo and Jim went out for drinks. Perhaps I just needed a little girl time to sort things out.

  When I got to the house, things were a bit of a mess. Little James had been running around the house pulling down everything he could with his busy hands. He pulled a tablecloth down along with everything that had been sitting on the table. He pulled down some curtains, a blind and various coverings on pieces of the furniture. The toddler would just throw them onto the floor and then run to the next thing. Vicky was trying to clean up after him, while simultaneously trying to stop him from running around.

  “Hey, glad you’re here,” greeted my best friend, appreciative of the help.

  “What can I do?” I offered.

  “You run around that side of the table. I’ll run around this side and we’ll catch him,” she explained.

  The plan almost didn’t work. James was a fast, little toddler, but I managed to grab him as he tried to slip past. He used all his weight to try and pull away, but I handed him hand off to his mother. She picked him up and he started to scream. Carrying him to his crib in the next room, she put him inside.

  “Nap time, mister,” she ordered.

  “I’m not tired!” he screamed.

  “Go to sleep anyway,” Vicky retorted, shutting the door.

  Behind the door, I could hear the child’s muffled screams. He wasn’t having it, but Vicky was too tired to deal with anymore.

  “That’s kids,” she said. “I never thought I would want to drink in the daytime, but…”

  “Aw, he doesn’t seem that bad,” I countered.

  Vicky just rolled her eyes. “I’m half tempted to grab a nap while you watch over me,” she muttered. “But enough about me. What’s going on with you and Leo? Let me live vicariously through my just engaged friend.”

  “I’m not really sure,” I admitted. “Thinks are…strange, right now.”

  “Why? What’s the issue?” she asked, taking a seat on the couch anxiously awaiting the details.

  I slumped down next to her. “Oh, you know, the usual,” I said sidestepping the issue. “What’s the deal with that tapestry on the wall? That must’ve been expensive.”

  Vicky looked at the tapestry and back at me very suspiciously. She raised one red eyebrow. “So, you’re honestly not going to tell me? Is it that bad?” she asked.

  “I don’t know if I can tell you,” I admitted. “Do you have any wine?”

  “Wine? Oh, God,” she said. “Of course, I do.”

  As we crossed towards the kitchen, we could hear James whining from behind the door. Vicky opened the door and addressed him sternly.

  “Mister! You’d better go to sleep right now! Mommy has to talk to her friend! If you’re not asleep in two minutes, no cartoons!”

  James’s eyes went wide, and he laid down in the middle of the crib.

  Vicky shut the door, marched to the fridge and fetched an open bottle. She poured us both wine and then sat down on a barstool at the counter. She didn’t take a sip, yet, intent on what I had to say.

  I gulped down most of the glass for a little bit of courage. I had to tell her what was really going on.

  “Vicky, I may have told a little fib,” I began. “I wasn’t completely honest about how I met Leo. Actually, I wasn’t honest at all about Leo.”

  “Oh, my God, is he a criminal?” she asked. “Did you write him in jail?”

  “No. Well, actually, the truth is… And you have to swear to not tell anyone, okay?”

  “Of course.”

  “I didn’t want to come to the reunion alone, you know? Everyone was there with husbands and I hadn’t been in a real relationship in years,” I whined. “I went online and found Leo. He’s an… He’s an escort.”

  Vicky’s eyes went wide. Then she picked up her wine glass and took a big sip. “Carina! What were you thinking?!” she asked after.

  “I know, I know,” I said, leaning down and putting my elbows on the counter. “I just… You were always so confident in high school and you have a great husband and kid. I just wanted people to respect me.”

  “Oh, honey, those people don’t care about respect,” she explained. “I’m your friend. I respect you and I know how you are. You’re insecure, babe.”

  “I am?”

  “If you had to ask…”

  I dropped my face into my hands. “What am I going to do, Vicky? I don’t know what to do with Leo, now!”

  “Uh, I assume, since he is an escort, you fuck him and tell him to go home,” she guessed.

  “No, I can’t,” I admitted. “I have feelings for him, and I think he has feelings for me.”

  “Carina, he’s an escort,” she explained. “He’s supposed to act that way for his clients.”

  “Trust me, it’s not like that,” I assured her. “He doesn’t have sex with clients. I was the only client he had sex with.”

  “How many times did you have sex with him?”

  “Four or five,” I said trying to remember. “I think I lost count.”

  “Good for you, babe!” said Vicky toasting us.

  I rolled
my eyes. “No! I don’t know what to do,” I whined.

  “Well, what’s he like?” she asked. “How much do you really know about him?”

  “He’s friends with your husband, that much I know,” I said. “So how bad can he be, really? He is just doing the escort thing to make ends meet. He wants to work at a law firm.”

  “He’s known Jim for a while,” Vicky recalled. “I’m sure Jim could find something for Leo to do.”

  “But he can’t know about the escort thing.”

  “Right-right, I wouldn’t say anything.”

  “Promise me!”

  She sat up and rolled her eyes at me. “I promise! Jeez, you think I’d blab this stuff all over the place?”

  “Yes, you were kind of a gossip back in high school,” I recalled.

  Vicky snorted. “Not as much as Heather Williams, you know, the one that got pregnant junior year and…”

  I gave her a look and Vicky stopped relating the store.

  “God, maybe I do have a big mouth,” she said, looking sheepish. “I promised her I’d never tell anyone about that.”

  “What do I do?”

  “Follow your heart, girl,” she advised. “I nearly lost Jim, when we first started dating, but when I realized what a good guy he was, I went after him. And I’ve been happy ever since.”

  I took a deep breath and sighed. It didn’t seem like it was that easy with Leo and me.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Leo

  Jim and I met at the Humidor: Cigar Bar and Lounge. It was a place where you could enjoy a good cigar and a cognac. As I pulled into the parking lot, I got a text. It was from the escort agency.

  I called in. Lidia was the woman who arranged my “dates”.

  “Hey, Lidia,” I greeted. “I can’t talk long.”

  “I know, you’re on a weekend trip, but I’ve got something big for you,” she explained. “I have a client in Chicago, she wants to hire you for a year.”

  “A year? That’s extreme,” I laughed. “How does that date work?”

  “You’d be a live in. Room and board totally paid for, plus free clothes and gifts and you get paid,” she explained.