by Nancy Naigle
“I do.”
“We were best friends, Jack and I.” He slowed his long stride for Maeve. “We were together when we met Amanda. One of my favorite Skynyrd songs was playing. I asked her to dance. She was just so lighthearted and happy. Not like anyone I’d ever met.”
“What was the song? Do you remember?” Maeve asked.
“I do. It was ‘What’s Your Name,’ and we were singing along as it played. She reached up and whispered her name in my ear.” He inhaled, remembering the zing that had rolled him that night. “Then I spun her around.” Paul remembered every move, even the way she lowered her lashes when she politely laughed at his cornball jokes. “The three of us were together all the time after that.”
“Kindred spirits.” Maeve smiled gently. “She’s a delight.”
“I’d never met anyone so truly happy to just breathe the air.” They turned up the beach toward Maeve’s house. “You seriously walk this every day?”
“Sure do.”
“I’m impressed.”
“Well, I am impressed with you too, Paul. Amanda doesn’t know about Paws Town Square?”
“No. She assumed I’m working with the MP dogs in the same capacity as when she last saw me, and I didn’t correct her. I’m not sure how to tell her. I’m afraid she’ll be disappointed in me for leaving the Marines.”
“Why would she be? You’re doing quite well.”
“Her husband…he gave his life for this country. We were Marines together. It should have been me. He had a family. He had her.” Paul took in a long breath. “After Jack died, and Amanda pushed me away, my whole life changed. It wasn’t good for a while.”
“Tell her.” Her jaw set. “Don’t leave a thing out. She’ll understand.”
He walked Maeve to the gate at the bottom of her stairs. “Thanks for inviting me to use your beach access. I had no idea it was about to change my life. I thought I’d never see Amanda again.”
She nodded, making him feel like he needed to explain.
“Before Jack died…I’d promised her that I wouldn’t let anything ever happen to him. I was the best man at their wedding. I’ll never forgive myself for taking the new assignment that separated us. If I’d been there—”
“It wouldn’t have done diddly.” She pressed her finger against his chest. “You are not responsible for what happens in this world. There’s only one Man who has that power.” She pointed straight into the sky. “He knows what He’s doing.”
“But I—”
“No. No buts.” The words were stern, but she lowered her hand, her expression softening. “You were in love with her, weren’t you?”
He looked away.
“You can’t deny it. It was in every tiny detail you described.”
“It sounds so corny, but it was truly love at first sight, and it grew every day.”
“Then how is it she married Jack?”
“I never told her. I’ve asked myself a million times why I didn’t say something to her. It was timing. Bad timing on my part. I left to take care of my parents’ estate when they died in a car accident. When I came back, I thought we’d just pick right back up, but the two of them had become more than friends.”
“You never said anything? Not to either of them?”
“Of course not. I was Jack’s best friend. One of us would be devastated if I said anything. I didn’t want any of us to get hurt.”
“So you took on that burden yourself.”
“Maeve, you are an intuitive woman. Why am I telling you all of this?”
“Because you can. I’m an excellent listener. It’s my thing.”
“I can see that. Well, I will continue to use your little slice of heaven here at the beach if you don’t mind. And one day I will run all the way down to the pier and back.”
“I hope that’s soon.” She started for the gate. “Paul?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“It’s none of my business, but I think you should tell her the truth. You owe that to yourself, and to her. And mind your p’s and q’s.” She leaned in and said with all intents of a warning, “She’s still on unsteady ground. If you break that girl’s heart, I’m personally coming after you. Do you understand?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Are you headed back over there now?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Don’t waste a moment. You never know how long your timeline is. Make every single day count and you’ll have no regrets.” She pressed her palms together. “I think you might be exactly what she needs in her life. I have a very high regard for you both.”
She started up the steps but stopped and turned. “Another thing. She was supposed to start a home-based business when she moved here, but there was a snag and she’s going to have to teach instead. Be a good listener. I bet you can figure something out together.”
“Thank you.” He headed to his truck, flattered and empowered by Maeve’s words. Was there actually a chance that he and Amanda could be together? When Jack was alive, she was off-limits. Back then, he didn’t care how broken his heart was—he loved them both and he wouldn’t put Amanda and Jack’s marriage at risk. But now…No one would sweep in and take her away from him this time.
He jumped into his truck and sat there and cried. Not tears for Jack. Not tears of anger. Tears of hope.
He’d thought the location here on Whelk’s Island had been perfect because of its proximity to Camp Lejeune, but was it meant to bring him back into Amanda’s life all the time? He’d never been one to believe in coincidences, but now faced with one, he could only hope.
The little voice in the back of his mind told him not to get ahead of himself. If nothing else, I have fences to mend. I’m grateful for that second chance.
As he steered the truck back onto the road, his heart beat so hard that he hoped he didn’t wreck on the short drive over to Amanda’s. That would be his luck. I’ve got to see her again. Second chances like this don’t happen…Not to me.
He pulled in front of the house. That little shanty looked like a home now.
The message on that shell still sitting in his glove box popped into his mind. Can there still be a chance?
He hadn’t specifically said he was coming right back, but by the time he opened his truck door, she was already heading out the front door with a huge smile on her face.
“This is us.” She spread her arms wide as he approached the gate. The hinge creaked as she pushed it open. “I’ve used a whole can of WD-40 on that thing. There’s no hope.” She swatted at it.
“Redneck burglar alarm. Consider it an upgrade.” He followed her into the yard. “And there’s always hope.”
They walked past Hailey and Jesse seated at a kid-size plastic table under a tree in the shade. Hailey sat at the head with two teddy bears and a baby doll, and Jesse was sipping from teensy pink plastic teacups. Hailey wore a tiara and held her pinkie extended. No surprise there. It’s why he’d always called her Lightning Bug. She had a sparkle to her, that kid. Always had, just like her momma.
“Do you feel like this is a dream?” He tried to keep his tone from sounding too wistful.
“Sort of. I keep thinking about how mean I was to you.”
“Stop. Don’t apologize. It was a terrible time for everyone. I’m just pleased to see you looking so happy. You look just like I remembered.” He followed her to the picnic table and they both sat down. “Hailey has gotten so big. She’s losing that little-girl look.”
He still remembered the day he and Jack stood at the nursery window at the hospital, looking at that little pink face peeking out from under the blanket. Her hands were so tiny. When Jack laid Hailey in Paul’s arms, Paul was afraid her fingers might break if he touched them.
He and Jack had passed out pink-label cigars for days. By the time Jesse was born, they didn�
�t bother with the cigars. Instead they filled the entire bed of Jack’s pickup truck with boxes of Krispy Kreme “It’s a Boy” doughnuts with blue filling. They’d even taken a picture of Jesse holding one of them. Well, not holding it, exactly. More like it dangling from his arm like a giant inner tube. He wondered if Jesse’s favorite color was still blue.
“Wow, you’ve been busy with this place. What a difference.” He glanced around the yard.
Pride perked at the edge of her smile. “Yeah, I paid my real estate agent’s son to mow down everything that wasn’t a tree so I could start from scratch. It made a huge difference.”
“I like what you did with all the planter boxes. Your herbs?”
“Of course.”
Hailey kept staring at him, and he wasn’t sure what to say after this afternoon. Amanda noticed it too.
“Hailey and Jesse, Paul was Daddy’s and my best friend. He was even there when you were each born.”
Hailey got up and walked to their end of the table. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too, Lightning Bug.” When Hailey giggled, all those peekaboos, goodbye waves, and memories of carrying her from the car to the house came crashing in on him. “I’m sorry I’ve been away.”
She reached out and touched his hand. “I’m glad you got to come back.”
Unlike Jack. Those unspoken words hung on his heart. “Yeah.”
“Don’t ever leave us again.” Hailey’s lips pulled into a tight line.
“Hailey, that’s not polite.” Amanda looked mortified.
“That’s fair,” he said. “I don’t want to leave again, Hailey. And, Jesse, do you know how big you were the last time I saw you?”
Jesse was a pint-size version of his best friend. Paul held his hand down at about the midpoint of his thigh. “Not much bigger than this high.”
“I was little.”
“You’re a big boy now.”
Jesse lifted his arms and made muscles. His body quivered as he struck the pose.
Paul reached over and squeezed his bicep. “Wow. You are strong.”
“From digging moats. I’m a really fast digger. It makes your arms burn.”
“I taught him everything he knows.” Hailey stepped in front of her brother to vie for Paul’s attention.
“I bet you two are a good team,” he said.
“The best. Come on, Jesse. Let’s finish the tea party.” She sat back down, and Amanda and Paul watched them in an awkwardly weird but wonderful quiet.
Amanda spoke softly. “I hate that Jesse doesn’t really remember Jack. I’m not sure how to keep all the memories alive without keeping the hurt around too. And Hailey…oh my gosh, if she doesn’t end up a psychologist, I’ll be shocked. That kid is so in tune with my moods. She can sense when I’m struggling. I hate that.” Pain danced in her eyes.
“Perhaps Jack’s working through them to make sure you’re okay,” Paul offered.
Her lips parted softly. “Hadn’t really thought of that.”
“You’re a wonderful mother. If anyone can lead them through this, it’s you. You know the way.”
“Yes. I sure do,” she said, pressing her hands together.
“I thought you might have gone back to Ohio. Your mom—”
She flipped a hand in the air to stop him. “That’s a sore subject. She’s been so determined to get me home that she’s been no help at all.”
“I’m sure she means well.”
“You know how she can be,” Amanda said.
It was true. Amanda and her mom had had their challenges over the years, but Paul knew after burying his parents that those matters didn’t seem worth fighting over when they were no longer around to love.
She held her head high. “Our life is here now. It’s a good place to be.”
His whole life was here, too, although explaining that meant telling her that he’d left the Marines. She’d only ever known him as a soldier. Jack had died for this country. He’d wanted to fight for Jack’s honor, but no matter what, he couldn’t bring him back.
He wanted to tell her—Maeve seemed to think he should too—but it was too much to lay on top of the already emotional day. Instead, he rested his forearms on the table and leaned in.
“I’m so glad I saw you today. Thank you for letting me back in.”
“I needed someone to blame, and your big shoulders were right there. You didn’t deserve it, but I guess even that served a purpose. It made me figure it out by myself, and I needed that.”
“My big shoulders are always here for you. For them. Please let me help.” He thrummed his fingers against the wooden picnic table. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome, and actually I have some things to take care of this afternoon, but can I call you? Can we get together and keep…talking…pick up where we…”
“Sure.” She stood up, a half smile on her face. “Oh, I guess you need my number, right?”
“Yeah.” He stood, too, and handed her his phone.
She typed in her number and handed it back.
He pressed a button, and her phone rang from somewhere inside.
“I’ll find that later,” she said. “Thanks for coming by.” She walked him to the gate and then, on tiptoe, hugged him around the neck. “Gosh, it feels good to get a real hug again. You always were the best hugger.”
As much as he wished he could hug her all night, he let her go. “I’ll call you.” He backed up. “I’d better go.” He opened the squeaky gate, his insides whirling. When he looked back, they were all waving.
Did this really happen?
He got in his truck, almost afraid to check his rearview mirror in case that cute house had turned back into the little abandoned shack that he’d try to buy a few months ago.
He started the engine.
His nostrils flared, trying to get air. Through Amanda and those children, his best friend lived on. His head and his heart were crossing swords over what this all meant and what he should do about it.
Bravely, he glanced back.
She stood there, her hand on the top of the gate.
He pressed his foot on the accelerator. Before he even realized it, he was pulling into his parking spot at Paws Town Square, thankful for second chances.
18
Maeve wanted to shepherd Amanda through to the other side of her loss, but she was comforted in knowing Paul would be there for Amanda too.
Time wasn’t her own. The shell she’d found reminded her of that. She would call Judy. How crazy was this world that messages in shells found the right people and people’s paths crossed at just the right time too?
It had been a hard call to make, but it couldn’t be put off.
After talking to Judy, Maeve didn’t have the energy to do anything but rest. She’d given herself permission to stay in bed all day if she needed to, but the ocean still called to her.
She set off on her walk a little later than usual.
Her heart lifted when she looked up and saw Amanda and the kids at the water’s edge. Yesterday had been unsettling, even if it had ended well. It did her heart good to see their smiles.
“I thought you’d be exhausted after yesterday,” Maeve said. “Didn’t expect to see you out here today.”
“It was definitely an emotional day.” Amanda kicked the water in front of her with her toes. “Thank you for your help. That was so—”
Maeve raised her hand. “What friends do. I’m glad I happened along when I did. I don’t think my heart has pounded that hard in years.”
“Mine either.” She patted her chest. “You have impeccable timing. You are a treasure.”
Maeve made a delighted face for the kids. “Think that means I’m extra special?” She bent her knees, getting down to their level.
“Totally,” Hailey said, and Jesse ech
oed her, as he did eighty percent of the time.
“Where are you going?” Jesse asked. “You don’t have your bag for treasures.”
“I’m going to walk down and say hello to Tug and The Wife.”
“The bird!”
“Yes.”
“I like that bird.” Jesse flapped his arms like wings, stomping in the water, creating his own vortex.
“I like Denali,” Maeve shared. “We had fun with him yesterday, didn’t we?”
Jesse’s head bobbed.
“He looks quite menacing, though,” Maeve admitted to Amanda. “I was a little nervous at first.”
“He looks burly and serious, but he’s so good with the kids.”
“How’d you come up with the name? Because he’s more like a stump than a mountain?”
“Actually, Denali was somewhere Jack and I had always dreamed of going. To Alaska to see the highest peak in North America. The closest place to heaven. We’d been saving for it. Then the kids came. Then time just ran out.”
“I’ve never been, but I’ve heard Alaska is lovely.”
“Absolutely jaw-dropping landscapes. Undisturbed nature and the northern lights.” She took in a breath. “I’ve been told you can hear them sizzle.”
“You can still get there one day.”
Amanda shook her head. “I think that ship has sailed.”
“No. Not if it was in your heart. And he’ll be there with you. It will always be, should be, a special place. You don’t have to abandon everything because he’s gone. You know that, right?”
“It would still be the trip of a lifetime,” she agreed.
“And you’ve got a long life ahead of you.”
“Did you and Jarvis have something you had always planned to do but didn’t get the chance?”
“Gosh, no one has ever asked me that in all these years.”
“I’m askin’ now.”
A thoughtful woman. So special. “Thank you for doing so. We did. We’d talked about spending a weekend in Charleston.”
“That’s not even five hours away.”
“It may as well have been five days away because we never had the time to do it. We’d daydream about it, how it would be to walk under the grand trees with the Spanish moss hanging from the branches.” She waved her hands in the air, as if she were envisioning it now. “Maybe I did more of that musing than he did. I don’t know, but we enjoyed talking about it.”