The Shell Collector

by Nancy Naigle

  “So soon?”

  She nodded. “I’m really going to miss her. Their hearts have scars already. What am I going to say to them?”

  “We’ll find the words. I’ll help you. I’ll be right here. I promise.”

  He held her until she fell asleep in his arms. He sat there looking at her, knowing where his heart was. He couldn’t let her down. He wanted so badly to make all things right in her world. Desperately, he wanted to.

  * * *

  —

  Paul’s arm had gone numb hours ago, but he wasn’t about to move. If Amanda woke, she might ask him to leave, and right here was where he wanted to be. With her. With Hailey and Jesse sleeping peacefully in the next room. All of them safe.

  Rain began to fall, spattering against the porch and trees outside. He could feel that the hot air had cooled a bit, but it hung heavy and damp in the house.

  Soon lightning snaked across the sky. The frenetic flashes strobed through the house. The heavy downpour gurgled down the gutters.

  Just before morning, a roll of thunder shook the foundation. Amanda sprung up.

  He stretched his arm, the prickly, tingly sensation almost painful as the blood brought his arm back to life. He clenched his fist, then spread his fingers wide for relief.

  “Oh my gosh. Did I sleep all that time?”

  “It’s okay.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “I’m not.”

  She pulled her feet underneath her. He could see the memories from yesterday filling in the dream spaces. “Maeve.”

  “It’s life. She’s lived a long one.”

  “She has, and she said she’s ready.” Amanda sat there sorting through conflicting emotions. “She’s very peaceful about it. Why am I not?”

  He ran his fingers along her arm. “Because we selfishly want to keep all the good people around us.”

  “We do.” She nodded slowly.

  “Exactly. It’s why I’m still sitting here now, invited or not.”

  “Thank you, Paul. I know you didn’t sign up for all this drama. Taking care of the kids and then me too.”

  “But that’s exactly what I’m here for. For you, Amanda. For them too. This is what I want. More than anything. We’re friends first always. I will always be here for you.”

  The moment was oddly quiet now that the rain had stopped, and he wondered what she was feeling. “The kids will be awake soon. I’m going to make you and the troops breakfast.” He pressed his hands together. “Can I have free rein of your kitchen?”

  “Only if I can have coffee first.”

  “You can. I’ll bring you a cup. You hang right there.”

  “I won’t turn that down.”

  He’d hoped she wouldn’t. He went into the kitchen and made her coffee.

  “For you, madam.” He handed her the mug. “I’m going to let you drink that while I rustle up some breakfast for all of us.”

  “An offer I can’t refuse.” She lifted her mug to her lips.

  He went back into the kitchen and rummaged through the refrigerator and pantry, mentally making a plan. He wished he had the ingredients to make pancakes, but eggs and bacon would have to do this time.

  He was taking the bacon out of the pan with a fork when Hailey and Jesse ran in and halted to a dead stop in front of him.

  He turned, holding up the fork in one hand, with Amanda’s pink butterfly apron wrapped around his waist.

  “You’re not Mommy.” Jesse folded his arms across his chest, one eyebrow up in a peculiarly good impression of The Rock. Jack would have so loved that.

  Paul knelt down. “Mommy is right behind you. In there.”

  They spun around and ran to the couch, hugging her. “Good morning, Mommy.”

  “Paul is cooking in your apron?” Hailey raised her arm in the air, palm up. “Is that crazy or what?”

  “Hey now,” Paul interjected. “Don’t be talking about the chef behind his back. I happen to be quite the cook, and breakfast will be ready in a minute. Hailey, can you set the table for me?”

  Hailey ran into the kitchen. “I can. I know how.”

  Paul dished the food onto the plates and carried them to the table. “Ding, ding, ding. Breakfast bell.”

  “It looks amazing,” Amanda said as she sat down. Reaching for her napkin, she looked back up at Paul. “You picked this for me?” She twirled a dandelion between her fingers.

  “I remember how much you love them.”

  “Did you know, Hailey, that when I married your daddy, he bought me this beautiful bouquet of white roses to carry but left them at his house? So I picked dandelions, five yellow ones and five fluffy seeded ones and made my own bouquet. I made Ginny drive slow to be sure I didn’t lose any of the white fluffs on our ride to the beach that morning.” She lifted the yellow dandelion and tucked it behind her ear.

  “You look beautiful, Mommy.” Jesse blew her a kiss.

  “I couldn’t have said it better.” Paul moved around the table, still wearing her pink apron. “And after your mom and dad got married, we each blew one of those white fluffy dandelions and made wishes.”

  “That’s right. We did.”

  “We do that all the time, don’t we?” Hailey said.

  “We sure do.”

  “We call them summer snowflakes,” Hailey said to Paul. “And you can make horns out of them to make music, and Mom is an expert at daisy-chaining them into necklaces.”

  “And I bet you are too.”

  Hailey’s long dark lashes fluttered. “Of course. She’s my mom. She teaches me everything.”

  Paul bit down on his lip to not laugh out loud. That little Hailey was a firecracker.

  “I can do the horn,” Jesse said.

  They told stories about dandelions and making wishes as they ate breakfast. By the time Paul and Amanda started clearing the dishes, Hailey and Jesse were anxious to get out in the yard to collect dandelions to show off their talents.

  Amanda washed the dishes and he dried, making quick work of cleaning up the mess he’d made putting together breakfast.

  He could see the burden she carried in her heart this morning. He could feel it too. It was nothing compared to losing Jack. She barely knew Maeve, but they had formed a tight bond. At least I’m here this time to sail her through the loss.

  He put the last dish in the cabinet and shut it.

  Amanda stood there with her back to him, wiped her hands on the dishcloth, and hung it over the front of the sink to dry.

  What are you thinking? But he didn’t press. He waited.

  “She wants me to move into her house.” Excitement tinged her words. “I mean, not just me. To raise the children there.”

  “It’s an awesome location.”

  “She wants to let me live there. I’d have to pay the taxes and insurance. That’s it.”

  “Wow!”

  “It was so out of the blue.” She turned around, leaning against the counter. “People will think she was crazy to let me live there.”

  “There’s nothing crazy about Maeve. She’s got her wits about her.”

  “Definitely. Oh, and she suggested I rent out this house or use it for my business. Someday I could hand this beach house down to them. Wouldn’t that be amazing? To use the rental money to keep it up and improve it. Get some real air-conditioning.”

  “I could put central air in for you right now if you’d let me. You know I’d do that for you.”

  “Stop. No. You’re missing the point. I could leave the house to them to vacation in and bring their kids here.”

  “That would be incredible.”

  “Do you think I should consider it? Moving to Maeve’s?”

  “If she wants you to live there, I think it’s very nice. She doesn’t have any other family except her
sister, and apparently her sister has no desire to live on Whelk’s Island.”

  “Yeah, I guess not. I wouldn’t have to do anything about my house for a while, but maybe if we moved to Maeve’s, I could use this for my herb business after all. I mean, Denali wouldn’t be here.”

  “That’s a great idea,” he said. “Let her help you. Let me help you. I understand your desire for independence. I respect that, but don’t cut me out. Please let me be a part of all this too. It’s all I want. Do you believe that?”

  “I do.” She looked sincere. “Maeve was talking about paying you to put Methuselah in Paws Town Square for the rest of his life, but I told her if we stayed at her place, we’d take care of him. I think that’d be so much better. That poor old dog can’t half see, but he knows his way around that house.” Her eyebrows shot up. “Sorry. I didn’t think about that taking business from you.”

  “It would be best for the dog to stay at the house if he can. I agree. My business is fine. Don’t worry about that.”

  “Thanks.”

  “How is she getting to Georgia?”

  “Her sister, Judy, is sending a car to pick her up. Maeve doesn’t want to fly.”

  “Why don’t we take her? I could drive. The kids could come.”

  “No, they’d hate a road trip that long. It needs to be a good experience for Maeve. It would be even better if she broke it up into two days. Even I don’t like to sit in a car for more than five hours. I get all jammed up and achy.”

  “I could stay with the kids. They’d be fine with me. You go with her in the car, or drive. Whatever you think is best.”

  “You’d stay with Jesse and Hailey?”

  “You know the answer to that. Of course.”

  “That’s a really good idea.” She pulled her hands to her heart. “I want to do that. I could make it something fun and relaxing instead of ominous.” She smiled with excitement, despite the tears threatening to fall. “She always wanted to go to Charleston. She’s never been. We could spend the night in Charleston. She could see those trees with the silvery Spanish moss.” She clapped her hands. “Oh my gosh, it would be like the best girls’ trip ever. Maeve said she’s feeling pretty good, so why not?”

  “I don’t see why not. Talk to Maeve. More importantly, talk to Judy. Ask her if she minds if you hijack the transportation plan.”

  “Oh yeah. That would be the polite thing to do. Do you think she’d mind?”

  “I have no idea. Maybe? I don’t think like a woman, so I wouldn’t dare assume.” He shrugged. “Maeve knows what she’s doing. But she might love the idea of seeing Charleston on the way. Maeve understands grief. Clearly, it’s important to her to soothe her sister’s grief. She has a lifetime’s worth of memories of the ocean and its treasures in her mind. If she doesn’t want to do it, don’t be offended. You have to respect that.”

  “I know, but I don’t have to like it.”

  27

  Maeve, wearing her favorite summer dress, sat in the white chair in the sunroom. Her dress was more like a caftan, really, with fun little tassels along the bottom. The colors made her think of the stained-glass windows in the church where she grew up.

  Tug walked in wearing his standard chef coat, unbuttoned part of the way, a plain old T-shirt underneath. He took off his hat as he entered the room. His hair was a mess. He was in need of a haircut.

  “Thanks for coming.”

  Tug moved slowly, as if he thought she might dart off and run away. He sat in the other chair, his belly protruding forward like a modern-day chef Buddha. “Were you going to tell me?”

  “I’ve been working up the courage to tell you for a week.”

  “So this is it. No more treatments this time?”

  “No. I don’t want to die sick and retching. I don’t feel that bad. I think that’s a much better way to go. Better than feeling horrible from massive amounts of chemicals in my body. Doc’s been good to me through all this.”

  “I know. He’s a straight shooter.”

  “He’s a good man,” she said softly.

  “I’m a good man, too, Maeve. I’d do anything for you. All you had to do was ask.”

  She hadn’t meant to make him feel slighted. She sat forward. “I do need your help on something, Tug.”

  “Anything, Maeve. You know that.”

  “I’m leaving this house to Amanda and the children. I don’t think anyone will try to contest it, but if they do, I need you to make sure folks know I was in my right mind doing it. She’s like the daughter I always wanted, and I know she’s the one who should be here.”

  “I’ve seen how you’ve changed since she came along, and her kids adore you. You’re not going to believe this, but I think they like you more than they like me, and you know all kids like me. All they talk about is Maeve and her shells.” Tug mumbled, “Maeve, Maeve, Maeve.”

  “Well, don’t hold it against me.”

  His belly rose as he laughed. “No one could ever question your state of mind, Maeve. There’s not one loose marble in that head of yours.”

  “Thank you.”

  “My dearest friend.” He leaned forward, cupping his hands in front of him. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Sure. I’m the one who got away. You’ve been telling me that for how many years? Way before Jarvis ever died.” Maeve loved the ease of their friendship.

  “It was kind of a joke in the beginning, but there was truth to it. I hope the few things you’ve let me do have made your life a little easier, or at least more enjoyable. Knowing you’ll be coming down for breakfast has kept me getting up and going to the diner every day. You know they don’t really need me down there.”

  “But you’re so much fun, and The Wife would be sad not to spend the summers there.”

  “I’m better looking than all those young kids working for me too.”

  She pretended to completely agree. “I was getting ready to say that.”

  “I’m sure you were.” He placed his hand on top of hers. “It’s a very nice thing leaving your house to Amanda. I’ll take care of her when you’re gone.”

  Maeve sniffled. “I know you will.”

  “You tell my best friend that I’ve missed him.” Tug squeezed her hand. “You tell him that I did my best to take care of you but you’re just as stubborn and independent as you always were.”

  “You don’t think he already knows all that? I know he’s been watching over me. You too.”

  “I’m sure he has.” Tug shook his head. “How can you leave Whelk’s Island? This is your beach.”

  “It doesn’t matter where I am, Tug. I’m ready to go, and this will bring Judy some peace of mind. She’s my baby sister. I owe her that. Besides, wouldn’t it be a little creepy for me to die here at home and then expect Amanda and her kids to love the place?” She shuddered.

  “Oh yeah.” His long, low whistle sounded like a missile. “That’s kind of morbid.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Like I said. Not one loose marble in that beautiful mind of yours. This way everyone gets what they need and deserve out of all this.” He slapped his chest. “I’m going to miss you so much. I love you, Maeve.” Tug stood and reached for her hands. “Come here, you.”

  She stood and he hugged her, holding her tightly, both of them crying tears for more memories than anyone could remember anymore. He choked back a sob.

  “Thank you for being the best best man in the whole world and for being the best friend.” She tried to hold her voice steady. “Better than I deserved.”

  Whatever he’d just mumbled she couldn’t make out.

  He let go of her and stumbled back a step. “I need a minute.”

  She watched as he stepped out on the deck, leaning over it, his shoulders shaking. He really did love me. It wasn�
��t a joke. “You silly old man. Why didn’t you say that before now?” she said quietly.

  He walked back inside a few minutes later, his eyes red and his nose swollen but his voice steady. “Will you let me at least pack some things for you to bring on your trip to Georgia?”

  “That would be lovely, Tug. Judy is sending a car next Friday morning.”

  “Okay. Yeah, and anything else you need from me. I’ll check your post-office box, help out around here. Whatever you need.”

  He walked back over and hugged her for a long time. So long that for a moment Maeve thought he’d dozed off.

  “I gotta go before I get all sappy on you again,” he said.

  “Don’t you grieve for me, Tug. I’ll be with Jarvis. We’ll get the fishing trip planned for when you make it to the pearly gates. There’s got to be a good fishing spot. For sure Jarvis has already built a boat.”

  “I hope it’s not an ark. I get a little antsy around a bunch of animals.”

  “You’re so funny, but then again with Jarvis you never know. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend. I love you too.” She pressed her lips to Tug’s cheek, then slowly backed up, smudging her lipstick into his cheek. “You live that good life, Tug.”

  He nodded, then bolted out the door.

  As the door closed behind him, she whispered, “Goodbye, my friend.”

  The Senior Helper was in the kitchen, listening. She was always listening.

  Maeve walked down the hall and crawled into bed. She’d allowed Judy to work with the doctor’s office to arrange the help here and for when Maeve got to Georgia, but she didn’t have to like it. She was tired and thirsty. Didn’t need a nurse for that. She took her pills and went to sleep.

  * * *

  —

  When Maeve woke up, she remembered her dream. Jarvis was there. She could almost feel his presence. She looked at the clock on her nightstand. It hadn’t been that long of a nap. Less than an hour, but she felt refreshed.

  She got up and was headed to the kitchen to get some water when she remembered the aide was still there. She hesitated, but she wasn’t about to hole up in this room all week either. She’d do her best just to ignore the woman.