The Angel's Song

by Roberta Kagan

  He couldn’t answer but he couldn’t leave either. When she slipped her white dress over her head to reveal her beautiful naked body, he was trapped in his own desire. The moonlight caressed her curves. His throat was bone dry with desire.

  “Come on inside,” she said. “I reckon I ought not to be standin’ out here naked.”

  Virgil followed her into the house and then into her bed.

  When it was over, Virgil got up from the bed and started to dress. Clover turned over and sat up on one elbow.

  “You in a hurry?” she asked.

  He nodded. “Yeah, I better go.” His voice was full of defeat. He’d given in and lost control again.

  “It’s dark out already. Why don’t you just stay here for the night?”

  What am I gonna tell Viola? How am I ever gonna explain where I been? I wish I could stay here so I’d never have to face my wife again after what I done. And the worst of it is, I know I am gonna do it again. I am weak. But I gotta go home and I gotta tell Viola the truth. That’s all there is to it. I cain’t do this to her no more. If she wants me to leave then I’ll go. But what about the baby? This could sure cause her to lose the baby. Oh what have I done?

  “I’m sorry, Clover. I gotta get home. I done the wrong thing in comin here.”

  “Oh come on now, Virg. You know’d what you was doin when you comed here. You know’d that you was comin here to my house so you could lay with me. You can try and lie to yourself if you want but we both knows the truth. You ain’t in love with that little prissy wife a yours no more.”

  He didn’t answer. Instead, he just walked out the door and closed it softly behind him and headed back home.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Clover lay back on the bed. The serpent from her dream had kept his promise. Virgil had returned. He couldn’t live without her. A smile spread across her face. She knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt, Virgil would be back again. She’d won him, just as the serpent promised she would. He might be living with Viola but his heart and his body were hers.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Virgil stood outside the cabin he shared with Viola. The light from a candle flickered inside the window and he knew that she was waiting for him. He wanted to go inside, fall on his knees, and beg for her forgiveness. But something was holding him back. It was as if an invisible cord was coiled around him and it was pulling him away from Viola and from the life he always believed he was destined to live. The cord felt like a giant snake attached to Clover. It was drawing him away from Viola and back to Clover. He had just made love to Clover and already wanted her again.

  Tears fell on his cheeks as he watched the window of his home from the shadows. He saw Viola moving inside, and he knew that he was not going home. This life was over for him. He didn’t deserve Viola or the baby. He was a sinner and he belonged with Clover. His heart ached for Viola. He was sorry for what he was doing. But he couldn’t stop himself as he ran down the dirt road away from the old Hunt cabin and the girl he once loved.

  When he arrived back at Clover’s house he knocked on the door.

  She opened it. “I knew’d you’d come back but I sure didn’t expect you this soon.”

  “Can I move in here with you?”

  “My maw is gonna be comin home any day now,” Clover said. “But hell, I don’t give a shit. Yeah, you can move in.”

  “But I gotta tell you something.”

  “Well, go on then.”

  “You got me where you want me now. I’m yours. But I ain’t gonna abandon Viola. I still gotta take care of Viola and the baby. It ain’t right fer me to leave em with nothing.”

  “What’d you mean?”

  “I gotta send them my pay every week from the mine. I won’t never leave you again. I ain’t gonna go back there. But I gotta do that much.”

  “All your pay?” Clover asked. “Don’t you think you oughta give me somethin’ fer your livin here and all?”

  “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll give you half a what I make and the other half I’ll send to Viola.”

  “How you gonna send it, by U.S. mail, Virgil? You know better. There ain’t no mail here, you silly ass. The only way you gonna get that money to her is to go and see her. Ain’t it? And I just decided something. If’n you go and see her then don’t be comin back here. You decide. It’s her or me.”

  Virgil knew he had been had. He didn’t want to leave Clover. She had the upper hand with him now and he knew it. He wished that he were stronger, that he had never allowed the weakness inside of him to take over his life. Not only was he obsessed with sexual desire for Clover, but he was so ashamed that he couldn’t bear to face Viola or her parents ever again. Not even to apologize and give Viola money to take care of the baby. He wanted to crawl on his belly and hide under a rock.

  But he said, “l got me a plan.” Virgil cleared his throat then continued. “How bout this? I gotta friend, he’s a fella that works with me in the mines. Nice fella, you might know him. Jimmie Masterson. He been livin in these parts his whole life.”

  “You’re ramblin, Virgil. I don’t know that fella and I don’t care one lick about him. What the hell is your point?”

  “Well, what I’m tryin to tell ya is that Masterson can be trusted. I’ll give him my money so as he can bring it to Viola. That way I won’t be seein her. Would that be all right?”

  Clover loved hearing Virgil ask “Would that be all right?” It made her tingle all over to see that Virgil was now bowing to her every whim.

  That stupid old midwife was plum useless. But the serpent in my dream, now she was powerful, and she sure did fulfilled my every wish.

  Still, Clover was afraid that something could change, that the spell could be broken and Virgil might just revert back to his old self at any moment. She was terrified that this new worship he had for her was nothing but a dream. She wanted to say “To hell with Viola. She doesn’t deserve a penny. You’re mine now.” But she was still walking a tightrope and she didn’t dare push him too hard.

  “Yeah, Virgil. I suppose that would be just fine with me.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  By midnight, Viola was panicked. Virgil had not yet come home from work. She was sure that something terrible had befallen her husband. He’d never stayed out all night before, and she was quite sure that he wouldn’t do so unless he was dead or hurt and unable to move. She was sure he was incapacitated somewhere, maybe even dead. Finally, by one in the morning, she could no longer bear to be alone. She was far too distraught with worry. Viola slipped on her old house dress and old work shoes then surrounded by darkness, she walked to her parents’ house.

  “Viola?” Alice said when she opened the door. “What you doin here at this time a night?”

  “It’s Virgil, Maw. He ain’t come home from work today.”

  A pallor came over Alice’s face. “Well, come on in. Ain’t no use you standin out there in the night air. You’ll catch you a cold.”

  Viola walked in and sat down at the kitchen table. Aiden was awakened by the commotion and came into the kitchen.

  “What is it, honey? Is it the baby?” Aiden asked. “You all right, Viola?”

  “Virgil didn’t come home from work today. I don’t know what’s done happened to him but I sure am scared, Paw,” Viola said, twisting the edge of her skirt.

  “Don’t you worry about a thing, honey. You just stay here with your maw and I’m gonna go out and find your husband.”

  “What if he’s dead, Paw? What am I gonna do without him?”

  “Let’s just leave that in God’s hands for now. I’ll just get dressed and go and see what I can find out.”

  Aiden dressed quickly then left the house in the dark of night. He roamed the hills he knew so well but found no trace of his son-in-law. As dawn broke, he finally returned home tired and defeated. He wished he could say something comforting to his precious daughter but he had no words to offer. Aiden was very concerned. Something had to have happened to Virgil b
ecause if Virgil could have gotten home, Aiden was sure that he would have. The fact that he had not returned spoke volumes.

  “Paw?” Viola said as soon as her father walked in the door. She and her mother were awake all night awaiting Aiden’s return.

  “Couldn’t find hide nor hair of him. I looked everywhere. I guess all we can do now is wait. Somebody’s bound to see or hear somethin.” Aiden sat down at the table with the two women. His red eyes were rimmed with dark circles.

  “I oughta go on home and see if he’s come back there. Maybe he come’d back and he’s hurt …” Viola said.

  “I’ll go,” Aiden volunteered.

  “You look mighty tired. Let me and Viola go,” Alice said.

  “All right. You go on then with your maw.”

  But when Alice and Viola arrived at the house it was empty.

  “He ain’t come home,” Viola said shaking her head. “Somethin awful bad musta happened or he’d be here, Maw.”

  “Why don’t you stay with your Paw and me? No sense in you stayin here in this house all alone, pregnant and all.”

  “But what if he comes back?”

  “He’ll know to come to our house to find you. He’d know that’s where you’d go.”

  “You’re right, Maw. Let me go and get some of my things.”

  And so Viola moved back into her parents’ home. She put her things back into the small room where she grew up.

  That next Sunday Aiden asked everyone in the congregation if they could please help find Virgil. He explained how he had failed to return home and how upset Viola was. The parishioners gasped in concern.

  “If you see’d or know’d anything at all, please come and tell me,” Aiden begged. “When you go on about your days, take a moment, if’n you will, to look down any of them steep hills you might pass and see ifn’ a man might be at the bottom, hurt or worse. And if you chance to be walkin’ by the creek, let me know if’n you see any kinda evidence that a man mighta drown there.”

  There were more gasps amongst the congregants. Viola was as pale as porcelain. She was sure that any day someone was going to find her husband’s dead body.

  Cowering in a pew in the back of the church was Jimmie Masterson. Sweat beaded under his arms as he twisted his jacket in his hands. Jimmie felt sick at heart because he had the answers to Pastor Hunt’s questions and he knew that the answers were not good.

  Jimmie was suddenly angry with Virgil for pulling him into this situation. Virgil had pulled him aside from the other men one morning when they were walking to work and told him everything that had happened. Virgil said he’d been bewitched by Clover and had moved out of his home. Virgil explained that he couldn’t help himself, he left Viola alone and pregnant and moved in with Clover. “I am no longer worthy of Viola, Jim. I don’t deserve her after what I done with Clover. It’s just best I let her be and I stay where I am with Clover.”

  Jimmie thought Virgil’s behavior was despicable and tried to convince Virgil to go home. Virgil begged him to bring money to Viola each week. He didn’t want to do it at first. However, once Jimmie knew for sure that there was no convincing Virgil, he finally agreed for Viola’s sake to take her the money.

  Jimmie had known Viola and Virgil his whole life. He had always secretly adored Viola, with her kind heart and winning smile. But Jimmie had an accident as a child that left him feeling inferior and so he never felt handsome enough to pursue a girl as pretty and popular as Viola.

  On a winter’s day when he was only eight years old, his mother had set up a pot of water to boil for soup. Jimmy and his brother were tired of being inside. Winter could be taxing on children. They began playing football, pretending that Jimmie was the quarterback. Even though their mother yelled at them to stop running in the house, they didn’t listen.

  His brother threw the ball to him and he ran to catch it. In the process, Jimmie didn’t look where he was going and barreled right into the pot of boiling water. He fell down and as he did, a hefty helping of the water splashed up, scorching and permanently scarring the side of his face.

  Because Jimmie felt deformed, he watched Viola from the shadows, never daring to tell her how he felt about her. But even though Jimmie was sure he had no chance with Viola, he wanted to help her in any way he could. He thought that she should have the money that Virgil was offering to provide for the baby that was coming. And now, as he listened to Pastor Hunt, his conscience bothered him. He knew that he must tell the pastor everything he knew about Virgil’s whereabouts. But even though the very idea of discussing infidelity with Pastor Hunt left him unnerved, Jimmie knew he must force himself go to the pastor’s home after the service and tell him everything. Jimmie would feel unclean until he did.

  Standing before Pastor Hunt, his wife, and Viola was the hardest thing Jimmie ever did. He was very aware of the scar on his face, and he wished he could run away and hide. But he knew he had to do this … for Viola and for himself. His body trembled and he stuttered as he repeated every word that Virgil said to him. Viola’s pretty face went pale as he spoke. Then when she began to weep, Jimmie felt a rash of tears sting his eyes. His heart wept for this tragically beautiful pregnant girl who had given her love to the wrong man.

  “I done tol you all I know,” Jimmie said, unable to bear Viola’s tears anymore. “So I best be on my way. I’ll bring the money by here on Friday after work if’n that’d be all right with you?”

  “Of course, Jimmie,” Pastor Hunt said.

  After Jimmie left the cottage, everyone was silent. Finally, Aiden said, “I’m goin over to Clover Graystone’s house and have a talk with Virgil. Sounds like he might be needin’ some advice along about now.”

  “Good idea,” Alice said. “I’ll stay here with Viola.”

  “I think I oughta come with you, Paw.”

  “No, honey, your Maw’s right. Stay here with her. Let me go and see if’n I can decipher what’s goin on in your husband’s mind. It’d be better for you if you ain’t there when me and Virgil is talkin it out.” And so Aiden left.

  When he arrived at the run-down cottage where Clover lived, he knocked on the door. He saw a shadow of a man inside peeking out at him. He was sure that it was Virgil but no one opened the door.

  “Virgil, son. It’s me, Pastor Hunt. I need to have a talk with you. Now open the door.”

  But there was no response. Aiden knocked again. Still, there was no answer.

  “Folks makes mistakes, Virgil. Open the door and we can talk this out.”

  But there was no answer. Finally, after fifteen long minutes of begging, Aiden left.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Clover and Virgil were unnerved by the visit from Aiden. They sat side by side on the bed, neither of them able to speak. Then Virgil said, “Damn that Jimmie Masterson. He went and told the pastor where I been stayin. I thought I could trust him.”

  “You can’t trust nobody, Virgil. Nobody but me. You ain’t learned that yet?” Clover said shaking her head. “You just might be downright stupid.”

  Virgil shrugged, shaking his head. “I don’t know what I learned.”

  “You outta know that folks does what’s best fer them. They always does. Must a been Pastor Hunt offered some kinda reward fer information about you and Jimmie wanted the reward. I’ll bet ya that’s what happened.”

  “Well, I shoulda know’d it would turn out this way. How was stupid ol’ Jimmie gonna keep you and me livin together a secret? Soon as he brought the money to Viola’s folks they was sure to ask him how he got it from me. Then he’d have to tell them where I was.”

  “So what we gonna do now?”

  “Ain’t gonna do nothing. Just gonna hide from Pastor Hunt and the Hunt family is all I can do.”

  “I suppose it is.”

  “I hope they don’t come lookin’ after me when I get off a work.”

  “What you gonna do if’n they do?”

  “Just keep walkin’s all I can do. I ain’t never gonna go back there. Yo
u don’t gotta worry, Clover.’

  “I’m glad. I don’t never want you to leave.”

  He smiled.

  “What you suppose happened to your maw? She’s been gone an awful long time this time. Must be some fella turned her head.”

  “Hell if I know.”

  “You think she met a fella or you think she come to harm?” Virgil asked.

  “Don’t know for certain. Don’t rightly care. But truth is, I think she could be dead.”

  A chill ran through Virgil. He got a strange feeling that she was dead and, even worse, he had moved himself right into her house which was certainly unholy ground.

  “You think we outta try to find out what’s happened to her?” he asked.

  “I don’t rightly care,” Clover grunted. She shrugged. “She ain’t ever been much of a mother to me. I hope she never comes back. It’s better here without her. I like it just the way it is right now … you and me.”

  “Yeah, I suppose it’s better she ain’t here. But it’s awful strange that she ain’t come back.”

  “Naw, it ain’t. She could be dead or coulda run off with some fella. She ran off with a fella for six months once. I didn’t think she was ever gonna come back. I was real young and scared but she didn’t give a shit. She just left me here.”

  “How’d you survive?”

  “One a the neighbors helped me out. Brought me food and such. I got used to bein’ alone when it was dark. At first, I cried cause I was just a little kid and I was mighty scared. But cause a the way my maw was, I learned early that I was gonna have to fend fer myself or die. Hell, even before that time when she was gone for half a year, she’d go into town and disappear for a week or two. I’d be stuck here with no food. I’d have to go from house to house and beg for whatever folks could spare. So I sure don’t miss that old bitch. She sure been the lousiest mother on earth.”

  Virgil sucked in a deep breath. He didn’t want to think about his own mother or father and what they would say about all he had done. He knew that he could never go home again, and he felt like crying. The guilt and sadness he felt was overwhelming. He had lost everything and everyone he loved.