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Take Me Back (Vegas Bad Boys #2)

Page 5

by C. Morgan


  “I want to see him more, Beth. I need you to let me apparently.”

  “Then behave. Stop throwing things through windows and be responsible. He’s always going to be your son. I’m just not going to be your wife.” She glanced at her phone again.

  “Expecting someone?” I knew the look I gave her, and my tone said everything I was thinking. If there was another man, I’d destroy him. I wasn’t going to have any other man be a father to my son. No how, no way. Over my dead and rotting corpse.

  Beth rolled her eyes. “Relax, it’s just Della. She’s supposed to text me when she gets home. Where are you working?”

  “Nowhere right now. I’ll get a gig soon enough, though.”

  “Well, I’d make it sooner rather than later. Once things are final, I’ll need some support, Clay, especially if things with Jack are going to require extra care. I don’t know what my insurance covers, but I know my savings are not going to last too long.”

  “I can take care of my son,” I said. I was sick of her acting as if I wasn’t going to be able to make a living for them.

  Beth fidgeted with her handbag. “I just think that maybe you should look into doing something else for a while.”

  I couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth. “Give up music? You know that’s my dream, right? My passion? Besides, I’ve done okay making a living for us so far.” Sure, her work helped out, especially when I was between gigs, but I had more than contributed.

  “I just think you could do better having a job with set hours and set pay. A job where you’re not around alcohol the entire night, and you won’t get drunk and start fights and bust windows. That was okay when you were a kid, but it’s time to grow up and settle down, Clay. You have responsibilities. And it’s not like you couldn’t still take a gig here and there.”

  “Sounds like you’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

  “Jack may need surgery or therapy or medication.”

  “You have insurance for us, right?”

  “I have insurance for me and Jack, not you. I’m sorry, but I had to cut you off.”

  “Oh, so that’s perfect. Thanks for telling me I have no health coverage.”

  “Yeah, so maybe you should take better care of yourself.”

  “I guess I’ll have to,” I said. “I’m not quitting music. I’ll figure it out, but I’m not going to jeopardize my hands or my future. I’ve already given up a job to come home and look at what that has gotten me.”

  “You did this to yourself. Wherever you’ve found yourself at this moment, Clay, it’s because you’ve put yourself here. It’s not because of anything or anyone else but your choices.”

  “You took away my boy, Beth.” I didn’t think I could ever forgive her for that. “And now you want to take away my music too? Who are you?”

  “I’m the mother of your son, and he has to be the priority. And since you’ve put music and drinking first, it’s all left up to me.”

  “Music is my life, and the drinking comes with it. You knew that when you married me, and let’s not forget which one of us was so drunk on our wedding night, I spent half the night holding your hair back.”

  “I was a kid then, Clay. We both were. But we’re parents now. Jack deserves better. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to get it.”

  “Maybe I don’t want to lose it all.”

  “Your music is a part of you, and if you stop playing piano for a full-time job, I’m sure you will always be able to pick it back up when you want. It’s not like you’re going to forget how.”

  Our food came, and we thanked Sam, who put it down and cleared out. She must have overheard how heavy the conversation was and decided to give us privacy.

  I opened my burger and poured the ketchup on it. Then I cut it in half, working around the little boy in my arms. He was facing me and hugged up to me tight. It was like I was wearing him instead of holding him.

  “I should take him and feed him,” said Beth, standing up to take him.

  “I know how to feed my son,” I said, not willing to let him go.

  “Clay, come on.”

  “Beth, I’ve got it. It’s all I get.” I pulled his plate of food closer and mashed up his green beans until they were close to the consistency of his smooth mashed potatoes.

  She sat back down and went about carving into her grilled chicken salad.

  “I didn’t even know he ate this stuff,” I said, giving him a spoonful of beans.

  He took the bite and then slapped the table as if he wanted more. In between feeding him a bite, which he demanded with another slap to the tabletop, I managed to cut my burger in half and take a bite or two.

  Beth kept quiet, eating her food until Jack was done. Then she got up again. “Come on. Give him over so you can eat. I know how much you like your food hot.”

  I kissed his head and passed him over. “How do you get a hot meal? When he’s sleeping?”

  “Whenever I can,” she said. “I was thinking. Maybe you could talk to Zane about a job out in the oilfield.”

  “No, I don’t think I want to put my life at risk and work out there. No thanks. He told me some guy nearly got his arm ripped off while we were in Vegas. Do you think I want to play piano one-handed for the rest of my life?”

  “It was just a suggestion.”

  “Look, I’ll do what I have to and take care of him, okay? I may have lost you and let you down, but I’m not going to let the same thing happen to my son and me.”

  She nodded. “I hope not. I know how much he needs you.” She began packing up her things, and she got up from the table while I was still trying to choke down my cold burger.

  “Are you leaving already?”

  “Yeah, I need to get Jack home, change him, and bring him to Della so I can make it to my afternoon appointment.”

  “I’ll keep him.”

  “No, she’s expecting him. But maybe soon, when you get those papers signed.”

  “You’re holding him for ransom?”

  “No. But I’ve got to go, and I don’t have time to sit and argue with you, Clay. I don’t want every time we see each other to be this way.”

  I nodded. “Just let me know when to be there for him. And I’ll be there.”

  “Thanks.” She turned, and I watched Jack as she carried him to the door.

  Chapter 8

  Beth

  Tuesday after work as I drove to Della’s to get Jack, all I could think about was Clay and how maybe I’d been too pushy about him getting into another line of work. The look he’d given me when I suggested it still haunted me, but sometimes, I thought he loved his music more than Jack and me both. I was a fool to think he’d ever give it up and do the right thing for all of us. He had just been too selfish, and I had to stop being a fool who wanted him to do better. He never would.

  All he ever wanted was for life to be a big party twenty-four-seven, but I knew he was capable of so much more if only he wanted to be. I guessed I had to learn to stop having too much faith in Clay. He wasn’t going anywhere in life but to jail if he didn’t straighten up, and I refused to let him drag our child and me down with him.

  Along the drive, my phone rang. It was the doctor’s office calling about the appointment. “Hello?”

  “Beth, it’s Candy. I just wanted to tell you that I got with Dr. Lenz, and he wants to do the testing as soon as possible, and he’s scheduled Jack for Thursday at eight a.m. Is that going to work for you?”

  “Sounds good. Thanks so much for calling me.” I had been worried we’d have to wait, and the longer I waited, the worse I worried.

  I got off the phone with her and called Clay, who answered on the first try. He sounded as if he was up and driving in his car. I didn’t ask him what he was doing and got straight to the point. “The appointment is Thursday at eight.”

  “Thanks for calling me,” he said with a sound of regret in his voice. “And I’m sorry about last night. I don’t want to fight either. I just wan
t Jack to be okay.”

  “Me too. And I know it’s hard for you.”

  “It just hit me wrong. I lost you and now Jack, and I can’t teach him music. I keep thinking of all of the ways this could affect his life, and I mean, what if it gets worse and he can’t hear anything? Not even our voices?”

  “The doctor said it’s not good for us to sit and worry until we figure it out. I’m trying to hold it together myself. We’ve got to be strong for him.”

  “I just want so many things for him, you know?” said Clay. “I wanted good things for all of us.”

  I had to get off the phone before I started crying. “Well, I guess I’ll either see you or not, but I’m driving to Della’s to get Jack, and I’m almost there.”

  “Okay, I’ll be there. I promise.”

  I wasn’t going to hold my breath.

  I drove up at Della’s, and she met me at the door. “Hey, I hope you’re not in a hurry to get home.”

  “Not really. Why? Did something happen?” I started to worry about Jack, but Della shook her head.

  “No, it’s nothing like that. I just thought it’s about time we had a girls’ night, so I started dinner, found some old movies, and I thought we’d do our nails if you feel up to it. Mine are in bad shape.”

  We had gotten to where we would do each other’s nails, and it helped both of us out when it came to saving money.

  “That sounds good, but what brought this on?” We hadn’t hung out for an official girls’ night since Jack was born.

  “Well, you didn’t have a lot to say about what happened yesterday at lunch, and I’m itching to know what had you so rattled. I figured since we can’t go out like we used to, I’d have to bring the fun to us.”

  “I’m sorry about rushing out last night. I had already planned to tell you. It’s just I got into it with Clay about a few things and I was just so tired, I didn’t want to go into it all over again.”

  “But what about the tests? Did he sign the papers?” I had told her about Jack’s condition and how the appointment went before I ever met with Clay.

  “The medical papers, yes. But still no on the divorce. I don’t know what he’s waiting for. We had the worst time at the diner. I was so uncomfortable with him holding Jack and feeding him. At least he saw how tough it is for me to have a hot meal.”

  “Well, you will tonight. Jack’s asleep and dinner is ready. He just went down, and he was in a terrible mood before he did.”

  “Oh no, I hope he’s not up half the night.” I followed her into the house.

  “No, he didn’t have a nap earlier. He’s been up all day. And he ate such a big lunch I figured he’d fall right out, but he wanted to play.”

  I looked over to where he was lying in his Pack ‘n Play. His little head was sticking out of the covers. “Well, maybe it’s teething.” I didn’t see how it could be anything to do with his ears. “Did he cry any?”

  “No, he’s been happy all day until I tried to take away his bottle to wipe his face. Then he threw a fit and crawled away. He’s getting faster, too, the little stinker.”

  “He must have his father’s rebellious streak.” He was so much like Clay. Hopefully, only the best parts.

  “Let’s hope not,” Della said, shaking her head as she made a face. “He’s going to be a good boy.”

  She walked to the kitchen as I peeked at Jack, and even though I wanted to pick him up and hold him because I’d missed him so much, I knew better than to disturb him. He might be a little angel most of the time, but I’d seen him when he was cranky.

  I walked to the kitchen to join Della. Her kitchen was probably the least used room in her house. “What brought this on? You’re cooking?” I didn’t know she knew how.

  “Yeah, but if it turns out horrible, blame Mama Sophia. I bought a frozen dish. It’s baked ziti with chicken.”

  “That sounds delicious.” I hoped she had read the instructions.

  She shrugged. “If we hate it, I still have that Michaela’s on speed dial. I haven’t had them in a while.”

  I chuckled, thinking about how many times I’d had Michaela’s since it was just Jack and me. Sometimes, it was just easier to eat out than to cook for one person. I found it depressing, being another reminder that my marriage had failed.

  “It smells good, so I’m sure it’s fine.” I could have eaten anything at that point. My stomach was an empty pit.

  “I have wine, but since you’ve got to drive Jack home, I thought I’d polish off the bottle in the fridge, which leaves you with soda, water, or juice. And you can help yourself.”

  Knowing I didn’t want to give Clay any excuse to try and say I was unfit, I agreed, walked over to get a juice, and brought it to the bar to pour it. “I asked Clay to get another job. Something besides piano playing.”

  Della’s eyes widened. “Wow. I’m sure that didn’t go over too good.”

  “No, it didn’t. He thinks I’m trying to take everything away from him now since I already took Jack.” I hated the way it sounded. How could I take something from him that came from me? Jack was already mine.

  “I can see why he’d think it, but he should know you better. Anyway, doesn’t he get steady work, or has he really tapped out the town with his shenanigans?”

  “There’s still plenty of work. A few places that will tolerate him if he tries. But I hate the drinking, and I hate that he’s out so late. I worry, you know? And I found myself worried that he wouldn’t come home. That he’d get thrown in jail, hurt in a fight, or get in an accident on the way home. It was just easier to be in control of when he left us.”

  “Yeah, that’s understandable. But what else can he do for a living? Music is about all he’s good at. Maybe he’s afraid to put himself out there.”

  I really didn’t know what Clay was capable of, but if he cared about us, he would try anything. Do anything. But she had a point. I had seen him wash the car and take out the trash, and as for manual labor, that was about it. “He could have played baseball if he knew how much he liked to throw things.”

  “Why does he do that?” asked Della. “It’s going to get him arrested, and he just looks like a little kid throwing a tantrum.”

  “Because he’s protecting his hands. If he hits something every time he gets pissed, then he could damage his future, but if he just tosses a glass or his phone here and there, at least he won’t get arrested for assault, and he’s not out of work. It’s Clay logic.” I tapped my temple. “And bound to backfire if it hasn’t already. It revolves around him, just like the world.”

  “Geez, you really fell for the bad-boy type, didn’t you?”

  “I’m not sure if he’s a bad boy as much as dysfunctional. He used to punch guys for looking at me until he busted his hand up one night so badly that he missed a gig. God forbid he miss playing, but at least he stopped hitting people, as far as I know.”

  Della peeked in the oven. “How is he handling what’s going on with Jack?”

  “He’s taking it hard. I felt bad for him, and I’m hurting just as much. He’s planning on being there, but I told him that it isn’t the kind of thing we can sit around and wait for him to get started. If he wants to see his son before he goes in, he had better be there.”

  Della went to the cabinet to get two plates. “When are they doing it? Did they ever set a date?”

  “They called on the way over. It’s Thursday at eight a.m. Well before his father is ready to greet the world.”

  “Do you really think he’ll miss it? Surely, he’d learned his lesson since court.” She had more faith in my husband than I did.

  “Clay doesn’t learn lessons. He just does whatever he feels with no regard for anyone else, including his son. I’ve given up on him.”

  “I can tell. You used to not speak so harshly of him, and now, it’s like you hate him.”

  I felt a sting inside when she said that. “I don’t hate him. He’s the father of my child. I just don’t like him. I’m disappointed in him.
I know he can be better, and he’s just throwing it all away. I’m not worth it to him, and that’s fine, but it just pisses me off that Jack can’t be enough either. If anyone should be, it’s his son.”

  “I’m sorry it’s this way for you. And I feel so bad for little Jack. I hope he’s going to be okay. And if you need me to, I’ll take off and be there.”

  Della worked from home for her father’s company that was based out of state. She could set her hours, but I hated to impose.

  “It’s okay. I’ll be fine. But you’re welcome to be there if you want.” I didn’t want her to think I didn’t want her there.

  “I’ll see what calls I have to make and what appointments can be shuffled around.”

  “Don’t get behind. I know how your father gets.”

  “He’ll understand this, and if he doesn’t, then too bad. It’s got to give me some perks being the boss’s daughter.”

  All of a sudden, the smoke alarm went off, and whatever was in the oven began to smoke up the kitchen.

  “Oh no!” said Della as she ran over to check it.

  “I’ll just call Michaela’s,” I said as she turned off the oven and fanned the smoke. I ran over to turn off the smoke alarm as Jack began to cry. “Well, at least I know he heard that.”

  “I’m so sorry,” said Della, pulling the pan of burnt cheesy topping out of the oven. “I thought I turned the oven off, but I put it on broil.”

  “It’s okay. It’s the thought that counts.” I went over to get Jack and cradled him in my arms. “At least someone cares enough to try.”

  Chapter 9

  Clay

  With my options for a good time dwindling, I decided to stay in for the night at my home otherwise known as my hotel room and watch a little TV. It wasn’t that I wanted to, but I thought that maybe it was for the best. I needed to learn how to be a better father, and missing one night of drinking wasn’t going to kill me. Besides, I had to be up early, and I wanted to show Beth I was capable.

  I had just given up finding anything on the room-service menu when my phone rang. When I looked and saw Nick’s name on the screen, I was glad I hadn’t ordered food.

 

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