The Way Forward

by Eliana West

  The new plate glass window glinted in the morning sun. Callie paused for a moment, eyeing the naked glass. The sign painter would be coming later that day to replicate the design her grandfather had chosen so long ago.

  With a sigh she opened to door. Without the lettering on the windows the library wasn’t the same. It didn’t feel like home. Once she collected the mail and a few books from the box below the mail slot that patrons also used for after-hour returns, Callie made herself a cup of tea and sat at her desk for a quiet moment before the start of the day.

  A movement from across the park caught her eye, and she saw a shadow move in one of the large arched windows on the top floor of the Barton Building. She only had a few brief glimpses of Dax since the day he found her standing on shattered glass and walked her home. Part of her was hoping that he might kiss her again, but he was a perfect gentleman. She laughed softly. Dax Ellis a perfect gentleman—Dax was who she pictured for every villain she read about, now she imagined him as the hero. He was still in her dreams most nights. Some were still nightmares, but others were more troubling, especially the ones with Dax kissing and caressing her as they made love.

  As always toward the end of the week, the library was a hub of activity. Throughout the morning town folk came in to pick up a new book to entertain them for the weekend. The morning rush had just died down when Dax walked in. His eyes darted toward the older man sitting at the large table looking though a book on farming. Dax acknowledged him with a nod and turned back to Callie.

  “Good morning, Callie.” His eyes dropped to her hand. He reached out and gently cupped it in his, running his finger over the bandage.

  Heat flowed from where their hands touched, and her heart beat faster. She pulled her hand away to smooth nonexistent wrinkles from her skirt.

  She looked into the brown eyes from her dreams gazing at her with a warmth that gave her butterflies. The air grew still and heavy around them as they locked.

  “Is…is there something that you wanted?” she asked.

  “I just wanted to see if you were able to get all of the repairs made and—” his eyes dropped to her hand again “—make sure there wasn’t anything else I could do to help.”

  Callie shook her head. “No, I’m okay.”

  Her heart began to do that strange fluttering thing that seemed to happen every time Dax came near. Why couldn’t she carry a conversation as easily as her characters in her books? She wrapped her arms around herself, a habit she’d used to comfort herself. Now she imagined his strong arms around her instead. She took a step back. It’s a strange dance we are doing—one partner retreating while the other stands still.

  The door banged open, rattling the new pane of glass, and Callie rolled her eyes. “Oh Lord,” she muttered under her breath.

  Dorothy Ellis entered the library. She paused to brush an invisible speck of dirt from the lapel of her pale purple suit before she marched over to her son. “Dax, what on earth are you doing here?”

  “I’m here to check out a book. What else would I be doing here, Mother?”

  “I can’t imagine that there is anything here you would be interested in.”

  The man at the table shoved his chair back. He pulled another book from the shelf and set it down on the table with a determined thud and a frown at Dax’s mother.

  “Actually, Mother, there’s quite a bit here that I’m interested in,” Dax said with a pointed look at Callie.

  “It has come to my attention that you continue to stock the shelves of this library with inappropriate books,” Dorothy said to Callie.

  “Exactly what books are you referring to?” she asked.

  “Those trashy Katherine Wentworth mysteries as well as that terrible Indian poet,” Dorothy spat out. “How completely inappropriate.”

  “Do you hear yourself, Mother? You are way out of line.”

  Before Dorothy could reply, the man who had been sitting at the table pushed past her with two books in his hand. “I’d like to check these out, please, Miss Callie.”

  Callie took the books and fought back a smiled at the titles of one of the most banned books in the country alongside one of her favorite books, The Macchiato Murders, by Katherine Wentworth. “Of course, Mr. Lawrence.”

  Dax and his mother continued to argue in hushed whispers that she did her best to ignore. She guided Mr. Lawrence over to her desk and had begun to check him out when Ms. Ellis interrupted. “You didn’t ask to see his identification.”

  “I beg your pardon?” Callie’s hands hovered over the keyboard.

  “You did not ask for his identification,” Dorothy repeated, enunciating each word as if Callie didn’t speak English.

  “He has a library card.”

  “For all you know he could have stolen that card.”

  “That is enough.” Dax grasped his mother’s arm. “I apologize for my mother’s rudeness,” he said pushing her out the door.

  Mr. Lawrence looked at Callie with a raised eyebrow.

  Callie held up the books. “Mr. Lawrence, I appreciate your way of trying to help, but you don’t have to check these out if you don’t want to.”

  Mr. Lawrence shook his head. “No, ma’am.” He took the books out of her hand, hugging them to his chest. “Anything Ms. Ellis says is inappropriate is something I want to read.”

  “They are both wonderful books, I hope you like them.”

  “You don’t pay Ms. Ellis any mind.” Mr. Lawrence patted Callie’s hand. “I think her boy is finally gown up enough to take his momma in hand.”

  Thankfully, the rest of the afternoon was quiet with a steady ebb and flow of patrons. The sign painter had come and gone after carefully reproducing the original lettering in cream and gold on the window. The birds were just starting to sing their evening song when she slung her leather backpack that held her ever-present laptop over her shoulder, stepped outside, and locked up for the night.

  Dax was sitting on the bench, and for the first time since he moved back to Colton, Callie wasn’t surprised to see him. She hitched her backpack on her shoulder. “What are you doing Dax?”

  “Callie, I’m—”

  “Don’t.” She held her hand up. She sighed and let the backpack slide off her shoulder to rest at her feet. “You have to stop saying you’re sorry and…” She swallowed. “And I have to stop wanting you to.”

  Dax stood up and moved in front of her taking her hands in his. Callie held her breath as his eyes searched her face, finally zeroing in on her lips. She tore her eyes away, reaching for her bag, but he grabbed it first, slinging it over his shoulder.

  “I thought I could give you a ride home.” He shrugged.

  Callie took a deep breath and glanced up to where pale pink had begun to tint the edges of the clouds. “Thanks, but no, it’s too nice of a night not to walk.”

  She held out her hand for her bag, but Dax pulled it out of her grasp. “You’re right—it is a beautiful night. Can I walk you home again?”

  For the second time Callie found herself walking side by side with Dax. She tried her best to ignore the curious stares from the few people they passed on their way. Even the birds were chirping louder as if they were sharing in the gossip that was sure to come. The news would be all over town that she and Dax had been walking together again before she even made it home.

  “I’m not so sure this is a good idea,” she said as a car swerved when the driver did a double-take, looking back at the two of them with his mouth open.

  Dax chuckled and then she started laughing as well. The more she thought about the situation the harder she laughed until tears streamed down her cheeks. Dax stood in front of her with his hands on his hips, smiling down at her, waiting for her to catch her breath.

  “What are you doing, Dax?”

  He frowned. “I’m walking you home.”

  “No, that’s not what I mean. Why do you keep showing up? I…I don’t think you’re trying to stir up trouble on purpose, but you have to know that’s
what you’re doing. Everyone whispers about us as it is, and now…well, it’s no secret that I’m not your mother’s favorite person, and…you don’t like me.”

  Dax reached for her injured hand, frowning at the bandage before his eyes met hers. “You’re wrong. I like you. When I first saw you all those years ago, I thought you were the prettiest little girl I had ever seen.”

  Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. “Then why?”

  “I’m just beginning to understand it myself.” His voice shook. “I’m so embarrassed and ashamed. It doesn’t help that my mother encouraged my behavior. I’m not making any excuses,” he said in a rush. “At the end of the day, I’m the one who threw the rocks and called you all of those horrible names. Callie, I…”

  She reached up and put her fingers on his lips, shaking her head. “No more, remember?”

  He nodded and then, taking her good hand, he continued walking. They didn’t say anything; Callie was trying to process what Dax had just told her. They reached her house too quickly and Callie wasn’t ready to say good night.

  “Would you like some sweet tea or a glass of wine?”

  Dax hesitated for a minute. “I’d like that. It’s a nice night. Do you want to sit out here?” he asked, gesturing to the porch swing.

  “Just give me a minute,” she said, fumbling with her keys. Callie leaned against the door once she got inside, pressing her hand against her rapidly beating heart.

  “Get it together, Callie,” she said, under her breath. She grabbed a sweater off the back of her rocking chair and threw it over her shoulders before she snagged a bottle of wine and two glasses. Part of her hoped Dax wouldn’t be waiting for her when she opened the door. Why did she ask him to stay? She was a jumble of confusion half wanting, half hoping for what—another kiss or more? She took a deep breath and opened the door.

  Dax was sitting on the swing, his hands clasped in his lap, looking just as nervous as she was. She handed him a glass and then sat down at the opposite end of the swing, tucking one leg under her. She set her glass on the ground and opened the bottle and poured.

  Dax took a sip and then picked up the bottle, looking at the label. “This is good. I’ve never seen this brand around here.”

  “There are a few things from home I miss too much to give up; coffee and wine are high on the list. I have it shipped,” she said.

  “I can’t blame you. I’ve heard about the coffee and wine scene in the Pacific Northwest. Do you miss Seattle?” Dax asked before taking another sip.

  “Sometimes,” she admitted. “I wouldn’t mind a true winter every once in a while. It gives you an excuse to snuggle up in front of a fire and hide away from the world.”

  Dax leaned forward. “Anyone in particular you’ve been snuggling up with?”

  “Mr. Ellis that is awfully forward of you,” Callie teased.

  “I’m just trying to find out if I have any competition.”

  “This is crazy.” Callie shook her head. “I still can’t believe that you really like me.”

  He shifted a little closer. “But I do.”

  “I don’t know if I’m ready for you to like me,” she admitted.

  He nodded. “Fair enough. Can I ask you one more question?”

  “I guess that’s only fair.”

  He reached over and ran his finger along the hem of her dress. “Your favorite color is yellow and you like flowers.”

  “That wasn’t a question.”

  “I’m getting to that part.” He smiled. “What’s your favorite flower?”

  “Roses.”

  “Yellow roses?”

  “Yes.” She cocked her head. “That wasn’t what I thought you’d ask. Why my favorite flower?”

  “Because I want to know what I should get you to make you forgive me when I get into trouble.”

  “Now it’s my turn. How much trouble do you think it’s going to cause when word gets around you’ve been sitting on my porch?”

  Dax sighed. “The last thing I want to do is cause you any trouble. There was a time when all I wanted was my mother’s approval, but over the years I’ve learned that’s not the kind of approval I’m looking for. Since I’ve been home, I’m realizing a lot of things about my childhood that I never took the time to understand before.”

  “Like what?”

  “I was so scared my mother would send me away the way she sent my brother away, I was willing to do anything to keep her happy,” he admitted.

  She scooted closer and slipped her hand into his. “That’s a terrible fear for a child to live with.”

  “One day I was climbing trees and having a game of catch with my brother and the next day he was gone.”

  “Do you know why he was sent away?”

  “I honestly don’t know.” Dax closed his eyes. “I miss him. I don’t really feel like I know him, and I want to. Since Dad died and my mother is, well…the way she is, Reid is my closest family connection next to Uncle Robert.”

  “Where is Reid now?”

  “He lives in Chicago. He barely speaks to me, and he doesn’t want to have anything to do with Colton. I’ve tried, but so far I haven’t been able to convince him to come home, even for a short visit.”

  “Good or bad, family is important. It may be messed up, but at least your parents loved you.”

  “You don’t think your parents love you?”

  “Most of the time my parents forget I exist. They are so wrapped up in the business and each other. I’m never going to be as outgoing or glamorous as they want me to be. Sometimes I think it’s easier for them to forget about me than be disappointed in me.” She saw his pained expression and waggled her finger at him. “Don’t you dare feel sorry for me. I had the most wonderful grandparents in the world. They were the only people in my life who ever loved me for me.”

  “That’s not true,” he said, tenderly caressing her cheek. “So many people here love you—can’t you see that?”

  “This isn’t about me. We were talking about you and your brother. Don’t give up,” she said. “If we can be friends, anything can happen.”

  “Callie, I don’t want to be friends with you.”

  Her heart sank.

  Dax wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close. “If I just wanted to be your friend, I wouldn’t think about doing this every time I’m around you.” He lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers.

  She put her hand over his and arched forward, returning the kiss. His lips were cool and firm against hers.

  “I want to be so much more than your friend. I want to be the man who has earned you.” He drew back to look into her eyes. “I want…you.”

  Callie sucked in her breath. “I want you, too, but I need to go slow.”

  “I agree.” He rose from the porch and held his hand out to her. “Let me walk you to your door and kiss you good night.”

  Callie allowed herself to be drawn to her feet, but once on her feet, she stood in his arms, studying his features in the light from the doorway. His mouth tipped up at one side in a way that she had to admit she found more and more attractive. There were tiny lines at the corners of his eyes, and she wondered if they came from laughter or stress. Her fingers itched to reach out and soothe them away. His jaw ticked; she had the power to make him lose control and the knowledge made her giddy. She rested her hand on his chest, where his rapid heartbeat matched her own. She kissed the spot and smiled when she felt his body tense.

  “You’re beautiful,” he said huskily. He reached up, tucking a stray curl behind her ear, letting his fingers brush along her jawline. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead. “Lock the door,” he said, stepping away.

  She understood then that he wouldn’t budge from her front porch until he heard the lock. She closed the door and watched out of the peephole as he waited. As soon as he heard the click, he turned and walked away. She leaned against the door, pressing her fingers against her lips.

  If she did get any sleep t
onight, she knew there wouldn’t be any nightmares, only sweet dreams.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Dax woke up with his mind in a jumble. As happy as he was about kissing Callie last night he couldn’t ease the knot of worry in his stomach about his mother and how she was going to react when she found out he was serious about seeing Callie. And he was serious. Callie was going to be a part of his life and his mother wasn’t going to like it and she wouldn’t be quiet about it. He had no proof that she was behind the incidents that were happening, but he suspected she was.

  His mother’s behavior at the library was inexcusable and it was impossible to ignore her attitude anymore. Another fight with his mother was coming. There was no way to avoid it. He wasn’t willing to keep his distance from Callie to keep the peace with her. He stumbled out of the shower to find Jacob waiting for him in the half-finished kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

  “Morning.” He lifted his mug in greeting.

  “Why are you so chipper this morning?” Dax grumbled as he reached for his own mug.

  Jacob shrugged. “I don’t know, I just am. I like this town of yours. I had a talk with the owner of the hardware store. He’s thinking about retiring and I made an offer to buy the place.”

  “Wow, Billy Colton retiring? He’s been behind the counter at that store for as long as I can remember.”

  Jacob nodded. “He turned seventy-two this year; no wife or kids, says he wants to spend the rest of his years fishing.”

  “I can’t say I blame him.” Dax refilled his cup. “I hoped you would like it here when I asked you to come down, but this is a big commitment. You haven’t even experienced a Southern summer yet, are you sure you’re ready?”

  “I’ve done a lot of thinking. I can still take on some small projects on the side for you and some construction jobs here and there. I want to expand the hardware store and add a workshop where I can focus on making custom furniture.”

  “That’s a great idea, once people see the work you’ve done here you’ll have folks lining up for one of your custom pieces.”