Freak (Hillcrest University #2)

by Candace Wondrak

  “I told you,” I said, not liking the way my body reacted to his intense stare, “I fell on it.”

  “Let me ask you one thing, and I want you to be one hundred percent honest,” Will started, waiting for me to nod before continuing: “Does it have anything to do with what happened to Declan?”

  I blinked. “What?”

  He leaned closer to me, and my back went rod straight. It took everything out of me not to inch away, not trusting myself to be so close to him. So near I felt his breath on my cheek, even if he was just leaning in to whisper, “If someone came after you because you’re his roommate, tell me, Ash.”

  What would he do, if it was? I was tempted to ask, mostly because I believed, at their core, the two things were connected—by Travis. Will didn’t know me. He knew and cared for his brother, that much was obvious, but me? I was a stranger to him. I meant nothing to him. If the two things were connected, they were just that: connected. So what?

  “I told you, I fell,” I was firmer this time, repeating myself for what felt like the hundredth time tonight. I was never going to tell anyone that Travis brought me to his room and chained me to the floor near his bed. What was even crazier was the fact that I went with him willingly.

  “Okay,” he said, leaning back, away from me, giving me relief from his warm breath and his insinuating stare.

  I didn’t like him. He was confident, suspected too much, and worst of all? He seemed nice. Nicer than Declan himself, maybe. Me and nice guys never mixed. But, I realized, as an Uber car pulled up, maybe we should start. Maybe nabbing a nice guy was exactly what I needed to stay safe.

  A foolish thought, because no matter what I did, I was never really safe.

  Chapter Five – Declan

  I wanted to yank the IV out and go home. Maybe not home home, but at least back to the dorm. I didn’t like knowing Ash was there alone, not with what happened to me. I…I don’t exactly remember what happened, but I do know I hadn’t felt good all day, and I tried texting her, but she wouldn’t respond. As a last resort, I texted Will, my older brother, not knowing what else to do.

  And then…then I woke up here, in the hospital, surrounded by nurses and doctors who thought I was suicidal.

  I might’ve been, once. Right after Sabrina hung herself, right after the cops questioned me and I was forbidden from going to her funeral…but not anymore. I didn’t want to die. I wanted to live, and…I wanted to make sure Ash was okay. If someone got to me, if someone put something in my food or something, what was to say she’d be okay there by herself? What if they went after her next?

  That’s what the sane part of me wondered as the hours wore on. I woke up sometime early in the morning to find Will slouched in the chair beside my bed, his neck bent at an awkward angle, his mouth hanging slightly ajar. My own neck hurt a bit, but I knew they had me hopped up on pain meds, thanks to my arm.

  Stitches and a bandage. They also said that if it wasn’t for the quick-thinking of my roommate, I’d most likely be dead right now, which meant Ash saved me. She saved me, and I was stuck here, until they thought it was okay to let me go—or at least until I convinced them I didn’t try to hurt myself.

  I didn’t…I didn’t think. I was nowhere near as bad as I was right after Sabrina died. Someone had to have drugged me or something, but trying to convince these doctors of that just came off as paranoid and delusional.

  My eyes studied my bandaged arm, and I tried my hardest to remember what happened before I passed out. I think I made my way into the bathroom, but I wasn’t sure. I think I called Will, but again, not sure. Everything was so hazy, so fuzzy, like my mind didn’t want to cooperate, like my brain refused to give.

  It was a long while before Will stirred, his eyes slow to snap open. He yawned and stretched; I bet his back ached something fierce from sleeping in that chair. The first thing out of my mouth was “Ash—”

  My older brother didn’t give me a chance to finish, cutting in, “She’s fine. I made sure she got home safely.”

  I knew being in that room didn’t necessarily mean she was safe. I’d rather be with her to make sure, or have Will with her. Hell, I’d rather Will be with her than with me. I could handle myself around doctors. She was the one alone in our room; what if someone did this to me and came back to make sure I was gone? What if they hurt her, too?

  “You should go, stay with her,” I suggested, trying to sit up. My body felt drained, so I immediately reclined back against the bed, settling for tilting my head toward him. “What if they try to hurt her next?”

  “You need to tell dad,” Will advised, always the smarter one, always the logical one.

  “Dad doesn’t need to know about all of this,” I said. I’d rather him never find out about this hospital visit, but I knew that was a useless hope. Even if we kept it from him, he’d see the scar on my arm sooner or later and demand to know when and where it came from. “I can handle it—”

  Again, he cut me off, “Really, Declan?” Will’s tone was a bit flippant. He hardly ever sounded irate, but here? He was intensely aggravated at me, and letting it show. “Look at where you are. You’re in the hospital, for crying out loud. You were attacked. Someone needs to look into this.”

  Well, at least he didn’t think I’d tried to kill myself. I really hoped Ash didn’t believe it, either. For some strange reason, I wanted her to have faith in me. If she was on my side, I felt like I could take on the entire world.

  “Who’s going to look into it? What evidence do we have?” I asked him. The door to the room was closed, so I felt a little more comfortable raising my voice. This was not something I’d back down on. “It looks like I tried to cut myself. That’s what everyone is going to believe.” My voice caught in the back of my throat when I thought about Sabrina.

  The police ruled hers a suicide too, even though I doubted it was. Sawyer blamed me. I wasn’t sure who to blame…

  Although now? Now I was starting to wonder if I should’ve suspected the brother all along. It wasn’t even twenty-four hours after Sawyer’s and Ash’s date that I wound up hurt. What if Sawyer was the one who did this? What if he was the one who made Sabrina’s death look like a suicide by hanging?

  Sawyer loved Sabrina, but sometimes love pushed you over the edge. Sometimes love made you crazy, blinded you until you couldn’t think or see straight. Sometimes people in love, even familial love, did stupid things in its name.

  “You should go and make sure Ash is okay,” I said. He’d told me she hurt her thumb, but he refused to tell me how. If she fought someone off, she was in danger. I would not let Ash get hurt because of me. If Sawyer wanted to finish me off…let him try. I was tired of sitting back and waiting, tired of the constant notes and nooses taped to the door. I was tired of the looks and the way everyone attacked me online.

  I was just done. I wanted to be done with it—which wasn’t to say I was giving up. I was going to face it, face this mess, how I should’ve from the beginning: like a man. Like someone who had nothing to hide.

  Because I didn’t. I had absolutely nothing to hide, and Sawyer needed to realize it.

  And if Sawyer wasn’t the one who hurt me, who staged my own little suicide, well…I guess we’d get to it when we got to it. One thing was for certain, though. I did not want Dad involved in any of this.

  Will looked at me strangely. “I’m sure she’s fine. You’re the one in the hospital. She had a dislocated thumb; you were the one who almost died, Declan. Not her.” His words were true, but they didn’t make me feel any better.

  Ash was the only thing keeping me so alert right now, even though my body craved another long nap. I’d gotten a blood transfusion, along with a lot of IV fluids. Who knew almost dying was so exhausting?

  “I’m under surveillance,” I reminded him. “Ash…” She wasn’t. There were cameras in the dorm building, but not everywhere. Not lining each and every hall; just the main ones. I was safer here than she was there; that much I knew without a doubt. If
Will wanted to argue me on it, he could go right ahead. He’d never convince me of anything.

  Will studied me, his hazel eyes softening as he whispered, “You care for her.” He didn’t accuse me of it, didn’t question me. He spoke it as a fact, as if he already knew, which was ridiculous, since he hadn’t seen us together. Not while the both of us were conscious, anyway. Hell, I’d never even brought Will up to her. Until last night, Ash had no idea Will existed.

  I supposed I could’ve lied. I could’ve told Will she was only my roommate, that she meant nothing to me, but over the last month or so, it had spiraled. My feelings for her. I didn’t want to be friends with her because I knew where it would lead. I tried my best to keep myself away from her, but it didn’t work out. I did care for her; I cared for her more than a friend probably should.

  “I do,” I whispered softly, picturing her smile, her storm grey eyes perfectly. How her short blonde and pink hair swayed when she shook her head. Her confidence, her easy way of being. How she felt nestled against my body as we lay there… Knowing how she felt was not something I should be aware of, but I was.

  Her skin was so soft, so smooth, without a flaw or a scar.

  “Be careful with her,” Will advised, causing me to sharply glance at him. “She’s smart. Not that I didn’t think Sabrina was smart, but…she has a different way about her. She might do nothing but hurt you, you know.” Warning me against liking her, against caring for her.

  Obviously I knew she could hurt me. Obviously I knew I probably couldn’t take another broken heart, but did that stop me from developing these feelings? No. No it didn’t, and I hated myself all the more for it.

  When I said nothing, Will let out a sigh. “I suppose I could visit her, make sure she’s all right.” I instantly perked up, and he laughed. There was the brother I was used to: kind and generous, always smiling. “And then I’ll be back, with some breakfast.”

  “Breakfast does sound good,” I told him, watching as he got to his feet. “But take your time making sure she’s okay. I’d be fine with lunch, too.” I grinned back at him.

  He was about to say something, but he stopped himself. His gaze met mine, and he only said, “I’ll be back, Declan.” I gave him a nod, silent as he left the room, leaving me alone.

  Alone. I wasn’t ever alone, not really. Not when my mind and my heart were full. I’d thought I was broken forever after losing Sabrina, but Ash had stormed into my life like a whirlwind, unstoppable and powerful in every way. If my dad picked her to be Hillcrest’s first female student on purpose, he chose correctly. He knew the kind of girl I liked, what I needed.

  Which was precisely why I didn’t want him to know about this.

  Once Will was gone, I moved my gaze to the ceiling. What would I do if something happened to Ash? Would I break completely?

  I knew one thing for sure: I never wanted to find out.

  Chapter Six – Ash

  My hair was greasy, but at this point, I didn’t give a shit. I lay in bed, the TV on, roaming the channels with the remote in my splint-free hand while my other hand rested across my stomach. It was early in the morning on Sunday, and I felt like I got no sleep. Which I supposed I hadn’t, because I spent most of it in the ER praying to a God I didn’t believe in, that Declan would be okay.

  Declan didn’t deserve any of this. He was a good guy, even if he could get angry. Getting mad wasn’t something I could judge him for. We all had the right to get upset every now and then, and he had more reason than most.

  I let out a sigh, turning my head to view his empty bed, his untouched sheets, which were still in the same crumple they were from Saturday morning, when he’d woken up. Declan never made his bed; he probably grew up with maids and people around willing to do it for him. I was of the mind that why should I bother trying to make the bed when I was only going to lay in it in less than twenty-four hours again? Seemed like wasted time and effort, neither of which I ever wanted to expend.

  It wasn’t the same here without Declan. I knew I spent time alone in the dorm during the week when he was gone at class and I wasn’t, but this wasn’t like that. This was different. I knew he was in the hospital; I knew he was hurt, and I damn well knew it was probably because of me.

  Travis.

  I had to think of a way to get back at him without going all tattle-tale on him. I wasn’t a rat. I wasn’t a snitch. Where I grew up, doing something like that was worse than doing the crime itself, and yet…

  No. I wouldn’t think about it. Now was not the time to get lost in memories that I’d tried so hard to forget.

  A knock on the door alerted me to someone else’s presence, and I hoped with all my heart it wasn’t Travis. I wasn’t ready to face him again. I needed time to prepare, to think of the things I would say, what I would do to make him understand that I wasn’t his, and I sure as shit wasn’t a plaything he could lock up and punish whenever the fuck he wanted.

  I left the TV playing, sliding off the bed before I moved toward the door. I leaned my face against the wood, peering through the peephole. It wasn’t Travis; it was Will. I was opening the door for him before I stopped to wonder what he was doing here without Declan in tow.

  Declan was on a suicide watch. I had no idea how long they’d keep him at the hospital. I also had no idea if I should tell Dean Briggs about all of this. I mean, he did ask me to look after Declan. So far, I was doing a pretty shitty job.

  Will walked in, and I closed the door behind him, glancing down at myself, temporarily forgetting whether or not I’d changed out of the bloody clothes. He hadn’t, but that’s because he’d been at the hospital all night. Thankfully I was blood-free, which was a teeny relief.

  “Declan’s phone,” Will said, his hazel stare meeting mine.

  I stood there for a moment, petrified under his warm gaze. His looks…Will was a good-looking dude. The Briggs gene pool must be a good one, because there wasn’t anything I’d change about him or Declan.

  “Uh, the bathroom, I think.” I didn’t think I’d moved it much after calling 911 last night, but then again, last night was sort of a blur. I watched as Will went into the bathroom, coming out a few seconds later with a cellphone in his hands.

  Will stared at me, eyes falling to my splinted hand as he said, “You cleaned it up.”

  “Yeah,” I said. He meant the blood. The giant pool of blood on the bathroom floor. Like I was just going to sit back and leave it there? Tiptoe around the blood every time I had to use the toilet? Fuck that. Plus, the blood had already stained the grout between the tiles, so I was certain we’d be paying for it once move out time came at the end of the school year.

  “I could’ve called a cleaning crew to clean it up,” Will went on, once again flashing his money.

  “Why call a cleaning crew when you can do it yourself?”

  Will’s lips tweaked into a small smile, but it faded almost instantly. “His charger?” I pointed to Declan’s desk, and Will went to grab it, bending down to unplug it from the outlet nestled beneath the desk, which gave me a good view of his back and his shoulders, not to mention the way the bottom fabric of his shirt crept up a bit, exposing some skin on his lower back.

  When he got up, my eyes couldn’t help but fall to the bloodstain on his shirt, what he’d gotten from holding onto Declan and carrying him out of the building. Some girls—and guys, I guess—were repulsed at the sight of blood. Me? I didn’t particularly like it, but there was something so visceral about it.

  Blood was life.

  Will carefully set the phone and charger down on the desktop before moving closer to me. A foot away, and I could smell him again. Damn it. Was I only so attracted to him because he reminded me of Declan? Because he was like Declan without the baggage of Sabrina? A shitty thing to think, but maybe it was true.

  Or maybe my body was just horny. It’d been a while.

  “How are you feeling?” Will asked. He reached up, lightly touching the elbow of the splinted hand. “You taking anyt
hing for the pain?”

  Oh, the hospital staff had written me a prescription for some kind of pill I was only supposed to take if the pain got bad, but pain was something I could handle. Pain was nothing to me. Pain was only a part of life, and it only hurt as much as you let it.

  I shrugged. “No, I don’t like to take pills. I’ll be fine.” Never had a dislocated anything before, but I was sure I’d be fine. As long as I avoided Travis for a while, gave myself some time to heal, everything would be just fine.

  Fine, fine, fine. Maybe if I repeated that word enough, I’d start to believe it.

  “Declan doesn’t want you here by yourself,” Will whispered, and my breath caught as I stared up at him. Will was a bit taller than Declan, too. A little over half a foot taller than me. The perfect height for me to lean on, the kind of guy I could press my face against his neck and pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist.

  “I’m okay here,” I told him, stepping away. I sat on the edge of my bed, gazing down at my injured hand instead of at him. The longer I stared at Will, the more confusing feelings started to grow inside me.

  It had to be because he was an older, more mature version of Declan. Because I knew, deep down, Declan still loved Sabrina, and Will—Will might have a girlfriend, I realized. Maybe he was off-limits, too.

  Fuck. Everyone around here was off-limits, it wasn’t fair.

  “Go back to Declan,” I told him. “But first, you should think about changing.”

  Will glanced down at himself, finally realizing that his clothes had more than a little blood on them. “You’re right,” he agreed.

  I was silent as I watched him go through Declan’s drawers. I had no idea whether or not he’d fit in his little brother’s clothes, but I also didn’t care. The bigger part of me was lost wondering if he’d go into the bathroom to change or if he’d strip right here in front of me. I mean, I was one of the guys, wasn’t I? I was rooming with his brother. We were roommates. Roommates changed in front of each other—