“What are you playing at?” Ash demanded to know, her hand clenching her phone so hard her knuckles turned white. Her splinted hand hung useless at her side, and I wondered how long it would be until her hand was healed.
She hurt herself, all to get away from me. I didn’t understand why—I’d told her I wasn’t going to hurt her. Keeping her in my room, away from Sawyer, was her punishment. I’d only hurt her if she asked to be hurt…
“I told you,” I said. The sun was starting to set, illuminating the sky in a reddish-orange color.
“Why did you attack Declan?” Ash hissed, glaring at me with those beautiful, entrancing grey eyes. “Was it because you thought he was getting too close to me? Let me tell you something, Travis.” She took a step toward me, standing less than a foot away from me. Her blonde and pink hair whipped in the wind, and I momentarily lost myself as I gazed down at her.
For such a short girl, she was remarkably feisty, fiery in every way. The very definition of spunk, and I loved it. I loved her. Why couldn’t she see that?
“You might think you’re the baddest shit, but I’m not afraid of you,” she stated, fire burning in her storm grey eyes. “You might think you’re the be all end all, but I’ve seen worse. I’ve dealt with worse, and you know what? I came out alive. You can do whatever the fuck you want to me, but I draw the line when you start to hurt other people. Whatever obsession you have with me is just that: between you and me. No one else.”
The more she spoke, the more I listened to her words. I let her say her peace, and I hooked my fingers through my belt loops, resisting my need to touch her. I had a feeling she would’ve sucker-punched me in the gut if I tried to touch her in any way. “Ash,” I said, staring down into her beautiful, entrancing stare. No other stare had ever affected me so much. “I told you that I would never hurt you, and I meant it. You did that to yourself.” My gaze dropped to the splint on her hand.
My Ash had hurt herself all to get away from me. Truthfully, it only made me respect her more. You truly didn’t know what someone was capable of until they were backed against the wall with nowhere to turn and no help to be seen. There were two types of humans. The ones who shut down in the face of an unseen, unexpected emergency, and the ones who prospered, doing anything to survive. Ash was the latter, which I should’ve known. I never should’ve left her alone in my dorm room that day. None of this would be happening right now.
“And as for Declan,” I said, moving closer to her. I noticed the way she stiffened, but she did not move away. Near the dorm building, William still watched over us, prepared to step in if need be. He wasn’t needed. Ash was safe with me, whether she believed it or not. “I didn’t touch a hair on Declan’s head,” I finished.
Her stare turned into a cold-hearted glare, though her cheeks were still rosy. “Liar,” she accused, trying to get me to admit it.
Admit what? That I hurt Declan? I didn’t, in spite of whatever she thought. Ash might think me a monster, and I was, but I only hurt those who deserved it, who needed to be hurt, and Declan—while intensely annoying—was not on my radar quite like that. If I went around killing everyone who even so much as looked at Ash, I wouldn’t be here. I’d be in jail. Even my family wouldn’t be able to get me out of that one.
No, I didn’t hurt Declan.
And if I did, he’d be dead. I didn’t do things half-assed.
“I’m not lying,” I said. “I’ve been with Sawyer.” When I brought up his name, her expression changed, becoming unreadable. “I would take a look at the videos on your phone, when you have the chance.” I stopped myself from saying what I really wanted to say: you’ll never want to look at Sawyer again after watching those videos. Whatever connection they had would be shattered when she watched him fuck a girl with pink hair.
It was kind of fucked up. Totally my idea, but still fucked up.
Ignoring what I said about the videos, Ash stated, “I don’t believe a word you say, Travis. You’re a liar. You’re manipulative. I know what you’re capable of.” The wind was the only thing between us, less than a foot of space. Her lips parted, and she whispered, “The cops shouldn’t have looked at Declan. They should’ve investigated you. You killed Sabrina, made her write that note.” Not a question, not an accusation, but a statement.
A slow smile spread across my face as I remembered that day. Still, even after all this time, it was burned in my memory as one of the best days of my life. A complete accident, and yet… I knew she had the diary, because no one else had been in my room. By now, she’d had plenty of time to read it, so she knew more about me and Sabrina than I ever wanted her to know.
Still, she had it all wrong, but I wasn’t about to proclaim my innocence like some fucking hero. I wasn’t a good man. I was born in the family, raised to be the opposite of a good man. The things my family did, especially in the basement of our expansive estate, would churn the stomachs of even the most cold-hearted criminals.
No. I was no hero.
I could no longer deny the pull I felt toward her. I lifted a hand slowly, and her eyes flicked to it, but she did not move away, simply watching as I touched her face, trailing my fingers along her jawline. Her eyelids fluttered. “You want me to be the bad guy?” I asked, tilting my head slowly. “Fine. I’ll be your bad guy. I’ll be your villain. I’ll be whatever you want me to be, Ash.”
“That’s not—” She stuttered, stumbling over her words, which was very unlike her. It meant I had her, that she was still caught in my web. She might’ve escaped my dorm room and the chains I had for her, but she was still mine in every way.
I leaned in, my mouth close to her ear as I murmured, “Make me your villain, but know that regardless of what I am, you’re still mine.”
At the side door, William had finally stopped watching. He was in the process of storming over, an angry look on his face, and that was my cue to leave. I pulled away from her after giving her cheek a quick, chaste kiss, and took a few steps back as I met her stare once again.
“I’ll see you around,” I said, giving her a smile before turning on my heels and walking away.
If Ash needed someone to blame, she could blame me. But none of it was my fault. Not Declan, not what happened to her, and not Sabrina.
Well, I took that back. I could’ve saved Sabrina’s life, but I didn’t. Did that make me her killer? Perhaps. The jury was out on that. Still—Ash hadn’t gone to the cops. She hadn’t told anyone of what happened between us, which meant she was mine. It was only a matter of time before Ash threw the other guys aside and became mine completely.
Chapter Eleven – Ash
I couldn’t believe myself. I wanted to smack myself and ask my mind what the hell were you thinking, letting him touch you like that? Letting him near you like that? And that said nothing about how much I’d enjoyed the feeling of his lips on my cheek, how badly I wanted those lips to travel to other parts of me.
Fuck. Even after being chained up in his room, I still had the hots for the guy. Even with a splinted thumb that was still a bit swollen and bruised, I liked him.
What kind of messed up was that? Why did I still look at him and wonder what other tattoos his clothes were hiding? Why did I want to see him naked and do unspeakable things to him? I was so fucked up, it wasn’t even funny.
His words kept replaying in my head, over and over. Make me your villain. Travis wasn’t my villain, but he was bad, that much I knew. I couldn’t let my weakness to him sway me. He thought I needed to be taught a lesson? He thought I needed a punishment for what I did with Sawyer?
Screw that. He needed to be punished for what he did.
“Are you all right?” Will asked, suddenly by my side. His gaze was on me, while mine was watching Travis walk away, tattooed hands in his pockets as if nothing was wrong. As if Declan hadn’t almost died.
He didn’t say he didn’t do it, and yet…watching his reaction to what I said, I couldn’t help but wonder if he didn’t do it, if Travis wasn’t the
one who hurt Declan. But if it wasn’t Travis, who the hell was it? Someone Sawyer sent? A rich guy like him could pay someone to do just about anything, I’d imagine.
My phone…Travis mentioned videos on them. Did the videos have something to do with Declan and what happened?
Shit. I couldn’t trust any of these guys. I knew it, I’d known it from the beginning, and yet I found myself wanting to believe them all. Stupid of me, really.
After a while, I moved my stare to Will’s. His hazel gaze was still on me, eager to hear my response. “I’m fine,” I said, finally.
“Are you and Travis…” Will trailed off, unable to say it. While he normally looked kind and welcoming, right now he looked a bit annoyed, a tad pissed off, as if he was upset at watching Travis and I together.
“No,” I said, because we weren’t. We weren’t dating. I’d never date another man like him again.
“If you are, tell me now, and I’ll find a way to break it to Declan.”
I blinked, wondering why he’d have to break anything to Declan. “What do you mean?”
Will let out a sigh. “He likes you.” He paused, his eyes falling. “He likes you a lot, I can tell. I don’t want him to get hurt again.” The older brother, a knight in shining armor. Those were in tight supply around here—and by tight supply, I meant they were nonexistent.
“I would never hurt him,” I said, hoping desperately Will believed me. “Never,” I added, stepping closer to him. “Declan is a good friend.” A friend. That’s all he was…but then friends didn’t get caught in the positions we often found ourselves in, did they?
“A friend,” Will repeated, clear in his disbelief. I didn’t blame him, because I didn’t believe myself either. “If you say so.”
We headed back inside, finishing our dinner. My nuggets were cold, but that was okay, because at least Travis was gone. Gone, but not out of my mind. None of these guys ever were. I left my phone on my desk, refusing to look at it for the longest time.
Will slept on the floor between our beds, closer to Declan’s side than mine. As night fell and we got ready for bed, I went into the bathroom and closed the door, grabbing my phone before I went. The two guys were already changed and tired, and as I got ready to brush my teeth, I unlocked the screen.
Should’ve put in a passcode, but I never thought I’d need to.
As I began to brush my teeth, I held the toothbrush in my mouth as I used my good hand to get to the gallery. I turned the volume all the way down before clicking on the newest video, resting the phone on the counter before I resumed my nightly routine.
The video wasn’t of Sawyer hiring some Hillcrest student to stage Declan’s suicide, but it was of Sawyer. My gut hardened into stone when I realized what the video was. Sawyer was in his room, standing facing his bed with his back to the camera. A girl was between his legs, giving him head.
A girl with pink hair.
I assume Travis took the video, and I assumed he stood in the hallway, where neither Sawyer nor the girl would see him, and I knew without a doubt he wanted this video to hurt me. Sawyer and I just went on our date a few days ago, and for a few moments during it, I thought…well, I wasn’t stupid enough to think I’d gotten through to him, but I was sure we’d shared a couple genuine moments.
I knew Sawyer was a playboy, the tool of all tools, the douchebag of all douchebags. I knew it, and yet somehow, watching him face-fuck this girl hurt. I didn’t care about him, and I sure as shit didn’t like him, but a girl with pink hair? I mean, what was I supposed to think? He’d found his next Ash, a better replacement, someone who’d let him do whatever he wanted to her and enjoy it, since I refused his charms.
The video went on for a while, but I bit down on my toothbrush as I went to pause it. I paused it right when they were about to switch positions, right after Sawyer went to grab something from his nightstand—a condom, I think.
I couldn’t watch it. Maybe it made me weak, but I couldn’t. Sawyer wasn’t my boyfriend, we weren’t dating. I didn’t like him, and still watching him fuck a pink-haired girl—a girl who I knew was a replacement for me—was the absolute last thing I wanted to do. Hell, I didn’t think I could watch the full video.
I felt…mad. Angry. Like I wanted to scream. Travis had taken this video, hoping it would shatter whatever connection I had to Sawyer, to which I wanted to say: what connection? I didn’t like Sawyer; I didn’t want to date the man whore. I didn’t. Travis was delusional if that’s what he thought, and this? This was just pointlessly hurting me. This was cruel. I didn’t need this.
If I didn’t need it, why couldn’t I bring myself to delete the video?
Instead of deleting it right away, I locked my phone screen after pressing the home button and finished brushing my teeth. I went to bed that night, turning my back to both Will and Declan, knowing I wouldn’t get much sleep. Classes started again tomorrow, the long weekend over. My mom had texted me today, and Kelsey had texted me a lot over the weekend, and thankfully Travis hadn’t interfered with any of that. At least the sociopath had some boundaries, I guess.
Morning came all too soon, and I felt like I hadn’t slept a wink. I got up before my alarm went off, tiptoeing around as I got ready, exiting the dorm room with my backpack and my skateboard. I wore jean shorts, my high tops, and a few layers on top, my beanie covering most of the blonde in my hair.
I skated to class, zigzagging through the other students on the sidewalks, and as I sat through class, I couldn’t get my mind off that video. It was insulting all around. I felt used, even though that girl wasn’t me. I didn’t doubt Sawyer was picturing her as me the whole time—I mean, a girl with pink fucking hair, how he could not think of me as he fucked her? Maybe that’s why I was so upset. He was thinking of me, but he wasn’t with me. He was with someone else.
It shouldn’t bother me. I didn’t like him. He was attractive, but attractiveness wasn’t everything. Sawyer was a snooty rich kid with a mean streak when it came to Declan. There was nothing about him to like. And his ridiculous half-smile…
Ugh. I hated myself, because I could picture that half-smile perfectly, and even after watching him be with another girl, that half-smile made my stomach do a special kind of flip.
When I skated back to the room, I found that Declan had texted me. Will was accompanying him to his classes, like a bodyguard. He then asked me if I’d be okay, and of course to lock the door. I told him I’d be fine, and that I always lock the door. Though a person like Travis, I bet locks couldn’t keep him out. I bet he’d find a way inside, because that’s what he did.
I turned on the TV and made myself some lunch. I should use the meal card Dean Briggs gave me, but I didn’t want to venture into the student union alone. There were two guys I wanted to avoid at all costs now, both Travis and Sawyer. Neither of them were worth my time, but I couldn’t help but want to send them some payback for what they did. Travis for locking me up and acting like it was my punishment, and Sawyer for being with a girl with pink hair.
Revenge wasn’t something I liked, but here, maybe it was a mandatory kind of thing.
We’re all monsters at Hillcrest. Words Travis had told me weeks ago, and at the time, I had no idea what he meant. Now I did; now I knew exactly what he meant. These guys wanted to play dirty? Fine. I’d get them back. I’d get them both back so hard they were left wondering just what the hell happened.
As I ate my lunch, which consisted of a warmed-up can of Spaghetti-os, I tried to think up a plan. I wasn’t as vindictive as I should’ve been, so I texted Kelsey for help. Of course, I didn’t tell her why these guys needed some cold payback, but I didn’t need to. She was always down for anything.
Kelsey and I were deep in conversation when I left for my second round of classes for the day. I was just about to leave the room and lock up when I stepped into the hall and spotted an envelope taped to our door. It was an envelope that wasn’t there forty minutes ago when I came back.
I let out an aggravat
ed sigh as I tore it off the door, tossing it in the nearest trash can before heading down the stairs with my skateboard.
When would these stupid kids learn that notes were so first grade?
Chapter Twelve – Will
My week was almost up. Declan had taken off the bandage yesterday, his wound still puckered and bruised around the injury. It didn’t look good, but it was getting better. He sat near his desk, and I was on his bed.
Things had been pretty quiet. I’d gone with him to his classes, sat outside in the hall like an eagle-eyed scout, watching everything and everyone around us. People looked at me strangely, but I didn’t care. I knew Declan didn’t hurt himself, someone else did, and that someone just might come back.
Declan, I found out, shared a class with Sawyer, and every time that particular class let out, I made sure to make Sawyer notice me. I was here, and no one was going to mess with my brother. This wasn’t going to be a repeat of last year. I wouldn’t let it, even if that meant I had to transfer here, change my major, and start fresh. I’d do anything for Declan.
I wasn’t the only one who’d do anything for him, though.
As the week wore on, I paid special attention to Ash and how she acted around Declan. She was a bit awkward around me, but around him? She was always smiling, always sighing, always watching. She liked him, I knew, she just didn’t want to admit it.
What were the odds that the first female student at Hillcrest University would be almost like a spitting image of Sabrina Salvatore? During one of our walks back from class, Declan told me his suspicions about Dad, how he suspected Dad pushed for her because he thought Declan would like her. I knew Dad well enough to know it might be true, and I was certain Dad interviewed the candidates, who he then pushed to the board.
Freak (Hillcrest University #2) Page 8