Ash didn’t get in based on merit or even luck. She got in first because of her looks.
She was in the bathroom, humming to herself. She had a good voice, low and haunting, and I found myself listening more than I should, focusing on her more than I should. Declan had his headphones on, meaning he couldn’t hear her, watching something online. When she emerged from the bathroom, her hair was wet and she was running a comb through it, immediately stopping the humming when she saw me staring at her.
I shouldn’t watch her so much, but it was hard. She was pretty, much prettier than Sabrina ever was, in my opinion. She was short, but curvy. She was fit, too. Maybe it was the way she held herself, the confidence that radiated from her, the way her nose crinkled when she laughed at her own jokes.
I was drawn to her, even though I shouldn’t be, and it sucked. I didn’t want to like her, but I sort of did. This last week, I’d found it impossible to stay away from her. Plus, she smelled good. Like strawberries and mangos and…
See? I was doing it again. I needed to stop.
“Why’d you stop humming?” I asked, watching as she dug new clothes out of her dresser.
“Because I totally forgot you were here,” she said, tossing me a smile. “I’m used to Declan on his laptop.” Meaning she didn’t want anyone to listen to her.
“You have a good voice,” I told her. “Don’t be ashamed.”
“Oh,” she said, her grey eyes amused, “I’m a lot of things, but never ashamed.” It looked like she was getting ready for something, pulling out clothes that were a tad nicer than the ones she usually wore.
“Where are you planning on going?” I asked, a strange feeling in my chest. Was she going to a party? With her hand? Which, if I was honest, I didn’t believe she’d gotten from a fall. Seeing her with that Travis…I hoped she wasn’t mixed up with him. A guy like that I wouldn’t put anything past. A guy like that was dangerous, and no good for her. He was definitely capable of hurting her.
She needed a good guy, someone like Declan. Or me.
“It’s Friday night,” she said. “I think there’s a party I need to make an appearance at.”
I grew worried, and I tossed Declan a look. Declan was in the process of taking off his headphones, turning to watch Ash. “What?” he asked.
“She’s going to a party,” I told him.
“No,” Declan said, as if he could force her to stay here. As if he could make her do anything. Ash, I knew, wasn’t the kind of girl to listen, even if that someone only had her best interests in mind. “What if—”
“I’ll be fine,” she told us, returning to the bathroom to change.
I met Declan’s dark stare. “She can’t go to a party,” he said.
“You can’t make her stay here,” I said.
“You’re right,” he relented, sighing. His eyes moved to his injury, to the stitches, and he ran his other hand on the skin near it. Suddenly his expression lit up. “You should go with her.”
I gave him a look. “What? Why would I…what about you? You’re the one who almost died.” Not her. But, I hated thinking it, what if someone did go after her next for being his roommate? What if she was on their list?
“I’ll be fine. I can barricade the door or something,” Declan spoke, turning his body toward me. “I’m more worried about her than me, anyway.” He wasn’t lying. He cared a lot about her, even if he tried not to show it.
Ash came out of the bathroom, wearing her new clothes. A jean skirt, and a white tank top that was only a little see-through. And by a little, I meant a lot, because her bra was black. “No one is coming with me,” she said, waving her splinted hand through the air. “I’m going to be fine, really. If someone comes after me, I’ll just throw this hand around like a sack of bricks and hope I hit something important.” When neither I nor Declan said anything, she added, “I’m kidding, but not really. I can take care of myself.”
I got off Declan’s bed, saying, “I’m going with you.” I wasn’t going to primp and change like her; I’d just go, follow her, make sure she was all right, just as I did with Declan this past week. As long as Declan barricaded the door, made sure to call me again if something didn’t feel right, everyone would come out of this night alive.
Hopefully.
It wasn’t like I wanted to leave Declan here alone, but I knew if I didn’t go with Ash and something happened to her, he’d never forgive himself, or me. He’d spiral, and I didn’t want to see him revert back to how he was right after Sabrina died.
“Bullshit,” Ash said, whining out the word, which made me smile. “No. You’ll cramp my style. Not that I have much style to begin with, but…you know what I mean.”
“No,” I said, “I don’t think either of us knows what you mean.” Declan nodded along with me.
Her grey eyes turned into glares, though I could tell the glares were half-hearted. Her good hand moved to her hip, which she cocked, making the already short skirt even shorter on the leg that was stretched out. “I’d put both hands on my hips, but it’s hard to do like this.”
“Why not try? I mean, you seem to be skating pretty well,” I remarked, causing Declan to chuckle.
“Skating is all about balance, which I bet neither of you jerks have.” Ash pouted, and then she rolled her eyes. “Fine, you can come. We leave after it gets dark.” She said nothing else as she returned to the bathroom, turning on the blow-dryer.
A party.
A party was not something I wanted to go to. College parties were normally something I steered clear of, mostly because of everything that tended to happen at them. Drinking, drugs, hooking up; none of which were my thing. I might’ve been twenty-one, almost twenty-two, but I felt old, like none of that stuff was for me.
Declan got up from his desk, walking over to me. His voice was low, so Ash wouldn’t hear, “She went to a party before, one of Sawyer’s. Sawyer wants to use her, I know it. Don’t let him near her.” A warning, telling me exactly what to look out for and who to watch. “He stole her skateboard last week and made her go on a date with him to get it back. He’ll try anything to have her.”
Sawyer. I should’ve known he was wrapped up in Ash, too.
I nodded. “I’ll keep an eye out for him.” I’d do more than that if he tried anything with Ash. I firmly believed Ash didn’t belong with Travis, and she sure as hell didn’t belong with a guy like Sawyer. Both of them would use her how they wanted, and then they’d throw her aside as if she never mattered.
Hence the issue: Ash mattered. She mattered to me, a lot more than she should, which was why I was willing to leave Declan alone and go with her. And if Sawyer was involved? She would need backup.
“And you,” I said, “you’ll call me if something’s wrong? If anyone tries to get in or you start to feel weird like you did that night?”
Declan nodded. “Of course, but I’m more worried about Ash.”
“I know you are,” I said, glancing to the bathroom. The blow-dryer was still going, meaning she couldn’t hear us. “Why don’t you tell her how you feel?” I was more curious than anything. Yes, they were roommates, so things theoretically could get messy, but my brother was never one to flit from one girl to the next. When he loved, he loved hard, and it nearly destroyed him when everything happened with Sabrina.
He shook his head, muttering, “It’s not right.”
I had no idea what he meant by that, so I asked, “What do you mean?”
“If I like her, someone might try to hurt her to get back at me. If something happens to her, it’s my fault, Will.” He rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks flushing. “And just because I like her doesn’t mean I should make a move.” He’d only been with Sabrina; his confidence when it came to girls was nonexistent.
“If it means anything, I think she likes you, too.”
Declan closed his eyes. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to mess up what we have. Plus, I…I told her she reminded me of Sabrina. She probably thinks I like her only
because of that.”
Shit. I should never have brought that up to her. She probably did think that, especially after hearing both Declan and I say it. Maybe I could use our time alone tonight to convince her otherwise.
When Ash came out of the bathroom again, her hair was dry and straight, and she’d applied a bit of makeup around her eyes, making their grey color pop. Declan froze, his mouth hanging open, as if he had lost all the words he wanted to say.
Me? I’d like to say I was different, but as I looked at her, I was the same. In her short skirt, her thin tank top, with her smoky eyes and her full lips, Ash was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen, her splint aside.
The most beautiful, and also as off-limits as a girl could be.
“Well?” Ash asked. “How do I look?”
“Good,” Declan stuttered, “I mean, I mean great. You look…you look good.” His already flushed face grew pinker as he kept stumbling over his words, sounding, unfortunately for him, quite lame.
Her eyes turned to me, their color ten times more striking while lined in black. “And you, Will? Do you think I look good, too? I’ll admit, I was going for a few rungs above good, but I guess I’ll take it—”
Declan turned his dark eyes to me, pleading, wordlessly asking me to salvage this. But that was the problem: I didn’t know if I could, mostly because, as I stood there staring at her, I couldn’t help but have a selfish thought, one I hated myself for instantly.
I didn’t want Declan to have her. I wanted her.
It took me a while, but I managed to say the truth: “You look beautiful.”
“Beautiful, huh?” Ash echoed, grinning. “Now that I’ll take.” She turned to her desk to grab her phone, which had been charging, but not before her eyes lingered on me for a few moments longer. Outside, night had swallowed the world, and she ran a hand through her hair, her stare rising from my feet, studying me unabashedly. “You ready to go? I’ll warn you now, tonight is not about getting girls.”
“I’m ready,” I said, glancing at Declan. Declan was looking at me, a slightly confused expression on his face, as if he could see into my head, as if he knew my thoughts. As if he knew, right then and there, that I didn’t want to get any other girl.
The girl I wanted was right in front of me.
Chapter Thirteen – Ash
Will offered to drive, but I turned him down. Walking to Sawyer’s house would help me clear my head, give me time to convince myself that the fuckboy deserved everything I planned on doing to him. It was a slow-burning plan, the kind that took time to fully manifest. Tonight was only the first step. Tonight I’d plant the seed.
Of course, that was before Will decided he was coming to be my escort, since apparently I could only go to class alone.
Sure, it was a little sweet, and it made me feel a bit better that I’d have someone watching my back throughout tonight, but I hoped his presence wouldn’t get in my way.
We weren’t the only ones walking on the sidewalks, but I waited until we were pretty much alone to pull out my phone. “Will, I have a confession to make.” He looked at me expectantly, and I pretended not to notice how intently he watched me. “I have an ulterior motive for tonight.”
“Okay,” he said slowly, his hands stuck in his pockets. He looked better than I wanted to admit wearing Declan’s clothes, a pair of dark, butt-hugging jeans and a shirt that hugged his chest muscles a little too perfectly.
Why did Declan’s brother have to be so hot? I mean, where were all the ugly people around here? Give a girl a break, you know?
“I have a plan for Sawyer,” I said, to which he immediately opened his mouth to retort, probably to tell me I should have nothing to do with that boy, and he was right. So before he could speak, I pulled up the video and showed him.
Will’s legs stopped walking, and I stopped, too. “What…”
“A present of Travis when he returned my phone,” I told him, taking it back and turning off the video. “But you saw her hair, right? Pink?” His expression was difficult to read, so I just plowed on, “He can’t have me, so he made his own me. Now I know Sawyer isn’t the kind of guy to keep the same girl in his bed for long, but if she’s there, I’m going to do my damnedest to break them up.”
He let out a sound that was a mix between a groan and a sigh. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Ash.”
“I don’t care. Sawyer is a dick, and he has this whole campus against Declan. He doesn’t deserve to have anything.” I took a step toward Will, setting a finger on his chest. “In order to do what I have to do, I might have to get creative. I don’t want you always three feet behind me. You can be my bodyguard or whatever, but don’t let Sawyer see you, and don’t interrupt me when I’m with him or his new girl. Got it?”
There was no telling how tonight would go, but I knew things would go smoother if Will did not play the knight in shining armor for once. Let me get down and dirty. Let me use some of Sawyer’s own tricks against him. The bastard deserved it.
I was so vehement on this, it was almost funny. That video of him and that girl had affected me more than I wanted to admit. I hated seeing them together. I hated knowing how his ass looked as he was pounding into a girl that wasn’t me.
“Okay,” Will eventually said, glancing down at the finger pressed against him. “You win, but I’m not telling Declan about any of this.”
“Good,” I said, dropping my hand. I didn’t want Declan to know about this anyway. Things were going to get messy before they got better. And Travis? I still hadn’t thought up a way to get back at him, to show him I wasn’t some helpless girl who he could chain up and punish. Kelsey had helped me with Sawyer’s payback, but Travis? I had the feeling his would need to come straight from me.
We continued to walk, hitting the main street the campus of Hillcrest butted up against. We waited for traffic to thin out before crossing, and Will muttered, “You’re knee-deep in a lot of shit, Ash.”
I chuckled. “Rooming with Declan, it was bound to happen. None of this drama is mine, but I’ll take it. I’ll do what I have to.” Everyone needed to know that if they messed with Declan, they messed with me.
And if they messed with me? They were fucked.
We came upon Sawyer’s house after another few minutes, his driveway jam-packed with cars, even in the grass. The curtains were drawn, and walking up to the front door, you’d never know how loud it was inside. I wasn’t sure there was a party tonight, but I was decently sure that he had one almost every weekend. The only reason he didn’t have one last Friday was because it was the day of our date.
Our fucking date, where I almost fell for his games. I was still mad at myself about that, actually.
I was the first inside after tossing a look to Will, wordlessly telling him to be scarce. He got the hint, disappearing in the crowd. The house was full of bodies dancing together, grinding on each other so hard it looked like they were having sex right there in the living room, where all the furniture had been pushed aside to make room for the makeshift dance floor.
The girls were dressed in tight clothes and short dresses, and I had no idea whether or not Travis was here. I’d deal with him later. For now, I had to find Sawyer…or that girl. I went into the kitchen, finding a small crowd of girls, tailed by two guys, pouring their own drinks. The alcohol always flowed freely at these things, even though half of these people were underage.
When they saw me, they parted, allowing me to grab my own red solo cup and fill it to the brim with…well, with whatever looked the most expensive. They parted for me like I was Moses and they were the Red fucking Sea.
I took the smallest sip possible of my drink, gagging myself as I scooted past the crowd and stood in the hall near the living room. I surveyed the dancers, wondering if I’d find them here. Maybe I needed to go upstairs—or, hell, maybe I would be the only pink-haired girl at this party. Maybe he’d already gotten rid of her.
How would my plan change then? I hadn’t thought about
it, because deep down, I knew Sawyer wouldn’t get rid of her so fast. He wanted to use me so badly, he’d settle for her, and he wouldn’t toss her out like trash so soon. Sawyer would want to revel in it.
And then, like magic, I spotted a pink head bobbing in the crowd, towards the center of the mass of bodies. Her pink hair was almost hideously uneven, and already incredibly faded. It looked nowhere near as good as mine, but I’d been dying my own hair for years. It was my one extravagance, the one thing I enjoyed doing that I spent a little money on.
Hers? It looked like a bad dye job gone horribly, horribly wrong, kind of like an infected tattoo. Ugly. Or maybe that was me simply trying to nitpick and make myself feel better about this whole thing, because I felt like shit.
I felt like shit, and I was pissed.
Sawyer’s head eventually turned in my direction, and when we locked eyes, I lifted a finger, telling him to come here. Not exactly a come-hither motion, but it was close enough the tool fell for it.
He parted ways with his Ash lookalike, squeezing through the crowd as he came to my side. His blonde hair was slicked back with sweat, his skin a little red. I could smell the alcohol on his breath, and it took everything in me not to knee him in the groin right now—which, I noticed, he was sporting a hard-on, all from dancing with his new and improved Ash.
“I didn’t think I’d see you here,” Sawyer said, giving me that same lopsided smile. The one that affected me even though I wished it didn’t.
Before the pink-haired girl could turn her head and see us, I grabbed his hand. “We need to talk,” I said, dragging him through the house. He didn’t fight me; he let me lead him wherever my heart desired. I took him to the back door, bringing us both outside, on the patio, where I had my one-on-one time with Travis.
A part of me half expected Travis to be lounging outside, smoking a cigarette, but he wasn’t. It was just me and Sawyer, and his hard dick. I had no idea how long it would take for his girlfriend to show up, or if they were even dating—maybe they were just fucking—so I had to use my time here wisely.
Freak (Hillcrest University #2) Page 9