A week had passed since I thought about calling Gideon, but I did nothing. I didn't know what to say to him. I wasn't sure what to expect.
I was driving towards Mirabella's for one of our group lunches when I slowed my truck down. I was already late, which made me feel awful, but what was worse was that I was late on purpose. I didn't want to see my friends, I just wanted to be left alone.
Just as I was about to turn into the parking lot, I decided to veer in the other direction. I felt bad. It wasn't that I didn't love my friends, I just didn't want to be grilled about Gideon. I had enough of hearing how perfect we were together, and I knew that now that they were all partnered up, I'd never hear the end of it.
I continued driving, not really sure where I was headed until I realized I was near the MMAC. I hadn't seen my uncle in a month so I figured I would drop by and say hi.
I parked my pickup truck at the curb and fed several quarters into the meter. As I entered the gym, the humid air combined with the stench of sweat struck me. I didn't know how my uncle was able to work there for all of these years. And as I found him yelling at a new fighter, in the thick zip-up sweater he always wore, I couldn't help but laugh. I couldn't imagine Uncle Mack doing anything else.
I snuck up behind him and as I put my hand on his shoulder, he reached up and patted my hand without taking his eyes off his fighter, as if he had been expecting me.
"It's about time you came to visit, Becca," he said gruffly.
"I was in the neighborhood so I figured I would stop in."
Uncle Mack turned and tilted his head at me in a similar way to how Cinder looked at me when she was confused.
"Is everything okay?" he asked.
"Everything's fine." I said with a shrug, but slowly my nose scrunched.
Mack shook his head in disbelief, then snorted. "I know bullshit when I hear it, Becca. Remember, you and me…we go way back. I know I didn't raise you, but I sure as hell know you just as well as your parents did. And I can tell when something's troubling you."
I tried to clear my face of any expression. I didn't want to talk to Uncle Mack about what was on my mind.
"I really can't talk about it. And trust me, you don't want to hear about it."
"I don't need to hear about it, I can see what this is about. It's about a boy, isn't it?"
"A boy? I know you're my uncle, but please don't talk to me like I'm twelve."
"Fine," he said gruffly. "When you're ready to talk about it, I'm all ears."
I knew he meant every word he said, but I couldn't imagine talking to him about Gideon and my friends with benefits relationship. It felt too much like I was talking to Uncle Mack about sex, which was just weird.
"Thanks, but it's really no big deal. I'll be fine."
"Well, Becca," he said. "I'll tell you right now if there's one piece of advice I can give you about men, it's that we always think with our dicks. Look around this gym. You're surrounded by nothing but testosterone; this is the language I speak. None of us here are any different. We're men, if we see something or someone we want, we go after it. We don't pussyfoot around, especially not when it means something to us. It's when we care about what we want that things change and the power shifts from our dicks to a little more north." He patted his chest with a gentle smile. "I don't know what's going on with you, sweetie, but whoever he is, he's a lucky man if you're spending time with him. I know my niece doesn't waste time with just anyone. If he's worth his salt, he'll tell you exactly what you mean to him."
Uncle Mack’s words sank deep. They were exactly what I needed to hear. I hugged him tight as he patted my back with a smile.
"Thank you for that," I said. "That was exactly what I needed to hear."
"That's what I do. If you ask any of these guys, they'll tell you I give the best advice out there, both in and out of the ring." He chuckled as he wiped at his watery eyes.
I gave him another quick hug and a kiss on his cheek before I left the gym. Gideon and I never had that talk on New Year's Eve, and it was time that we did that. Uncle Mack was right, Gideon told me months ago that he loved me. I knew how he felt, I knew he meant what he said, but I wasn't ready to hear it then so I convinced myself it wasn't real. If we weren't together now, even just as friends, I only had myself to blame.
As I stood outside, I pulled out my phone and texted the man I fell in love with months ago, the man I fell for before I even realized I loved him. I'd do anything to get him back.
Becca: I miss my friend.
Chapter Seventeen
Gideon
The conference room was a fishbowl. Behind me, the windows looked down upon downtown Canyon Cove. The rest of the glass surrounding us showed off a swanky corporate office. Had you told me four months ago I'd be sitting there, I would've told you you were fucking out of your mind.
Mason Abernathy paced the room as he told the shareholders about me. Every so often, I'd catch one of the old farts glance towards me. They didn't want me there. I wasn't safe old money like they were used to investing in with their conservative pockets, but the more he spoke, the more I could see them changing their minds.
Mason wasn't the only one speaking on my behalf that day. Gabriel sat next to me. He started the meeting by telling them our life story of growing up in the South End and how he built the MMAC, his Mixed Martial Arts organization, then segued into his grant to revitalize the South End and the work I did on that.
On my other side was William King, another old money billionaire. He discussed losing his parents at an early age to a robber one night in the South End. He told the board how unsafe the area was and the drastic changes I was involved with over the past year.
Across from me, Xander Boone brought his support by detailing the millions of dollars his fundraiser brought in to support my revitalization work. He explained how decades ago, he worked as a cook at a hole in the wall in the South End after distancing himself from his family fortune. He also outlined the talks he and I had about building my company to help further restoration projects, both publicly and privately.
My final ace in the hole was the Winslow brothers, Drake and Brent. They had already signed up as investors and were willing to match any funds the shareholders agreed to invest in me. Brent was the financial whiz behind that idea, explaining that I didn't want any one group of shareholders holding too large of a percentage of the business.
In the past year I had gotten to know each of these men, but I never thought when Mason first contacted me three months ago about designing a new ranch for him that I would be seated with them presenting a billion-dollar investment plan in my company.
As Mason wrapped up, he gushed about the plans I had drawn up for his home. He hinted at the revolutionary design for his stables as excitement filled his voice.
I reached down and touched my portfolio, making sure it was still there. As I twisted my ring around my finger, my phone buzzed. I glanced over and read the text as Mason said my name.
Becca: I miss my friend.
I flipped my phone over so I couldn't see the screen and stood. It was funny that she reached out to me today of all days. I had planned to call her after the meeting and tell her I was back in town.
I wanted to see her. I wanted us to start our lives together as soon as possible. After months of being without Becca, I realized that I was the best I could ever be when I was with her. She didn't need me to be better or wealthier, she cared about me for me.
I was going to call her, not because of my new success, but because I couldn't be without her anymore. I didn't know what she would say or how she would react, but I was ready to put my heart on the line. I just needed everything to be perfect.
As I put the first sketch on the easel, I laughed to myself thinking about how Becca would tease me for not using the technology of the overhead projector.
I spun my ring around my finger, then let my hands drop to my sides. With a confident smile, I met the eyes of each of those old money shareholde
rs.
"Thank you for having me here today, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Gideon Kohl, and I'm going to take it back old school for you right now."
Chapter Eighteen
Gideon
The spotlights danced in the clear night sky. As I approached the Boone Art Gallery, the line of cars waiting for the valet didn't catch my eye. I didn't pay attention to anything because things were different for me this time.
In less than a year, I changed enough that the fancy cars and wealth that came to these fundraisers didn't matter to me. What mattered to me was getting inside and seeing Becca.
I slowed my Bugatti down and entered the parking garage. It had been a few days since I presented to the shareholders and while I had planned to call Becca afterwards, when I found out about the fundraiser for the South End, I realized that was the perfect place to tell her how I felt. It was where everything began.
Wearing my tuxedo with the bow tie Becca teased me about, I entered the exhibit hall and began looking for her. Even though we hadn't seen each other in months, and even though we hadn't spoken for longer than that, I knew that once we were together again everything would fall into place.
I spotted Becca standing in an alcove with several other people. She was talking to Eddie Salvador, her coworker, the same guy whose lights I wanted to punch out almost a year ago when he talked about how good Becca looked. I could only imagine what he was thinking tonight because she looked even better.
Becca wore a crimson-colored dress, and her shiny hair was loose around her shoulders. I felt the corners of my mouth tug up as I walked towards her.
"Becca!" A man's voice called out.
I stopped as she turned towards the voice. A tall, blond-haired man entered the alcove and kissed her cheek. It was Taylor, her blind date from the last night I saw her.
She slipped her arm through his and continued her conversation with Eddie.
My first reaction was rage, but that was quickly replaced by defeat. She wouldn't be with him if I had stayed. Had I told her how I felt to begin with, things would have been different.
That didn't mean I couldn't change things now though.
I stepped into the alcove, and Becca stopped talking in mid-sentence. Taylor leaned closer to her and whispered something she nodded her head to.
"We need to talk." I looked at Taylor and raised my brow. "Alone."
Becca's hands curled into fists, which she hid by folding her arms in front of her. She clenched her jaw as she stared at me, but her eyes held a softness.
"Anything you say to me, you can say in front of Taylor," she said.
"No, this is about us, Becca, you and me. I’m doing now what I should have done months ago, before you even had your blind date with this guy.”
I gritted my teeth as I forced the last word out. I was fighting with myself. I wanted to call him names, but he didn't do anything wrong. It was my fault she was with him.
"Yes, the blind date you invited yourself on and then didn't show up to," she said. "I'm sure you had a great time with…with…" She threw her hands up with frustration. "One of your damn bimbos. What did you say her name was? You probably don't even remember."
"Alyssa. But she isn't a bimbo," I said.
Becca shot an angry look at me. I didn't understand why she was acting like this. Sure, I had been an ass and left Canyon Cove without telling her anything, but this didn't seem to be about that. If she was anyone else, I would have thought she was jealous.
"And her name isn't Alyssa either, it's Alicia. My sister," Eddie said. "She told me all about that night."
"Oh?" Becca said, tilting her head with interest. "Tell me what she said. I'd like to hear all about it. Although I'm sure I can guess. What did you do with her, Gideon? Maybe play a game of checkers?"
Becca's voice dripped with sarcasm. I stared at Eddie, who looked at me expectantly, but I didn't know what to say. I thought about the few things Alicia and I talked about. They weren't things I wanted Becca to hear from him. If anyone was going to tell Becca I was in love with her, it should be me.
"Becca, please. Can't we talk in private? Just give me five minutes," I said.
She turned to her date and they exchanged a look. I hated myself that they were so close that they could do that. Becca and I could do that. She could look at me and know exactly what I was thinking, but I was gone long enough that she found a replacement.
In the months since I left, I never stopped thinking about her, but I never reached out. I never called her, not even as my best friend. I was stupid for never admitting how I felt about her. I had my chance and I let it slip out of my hands because of my own foolishness.
As I watched their silent conversation, I realized all that mattered to me was her happiness. If she wanted to be with him, that was fine as long as he treated her right.
I could have walked away at that moment, but I refused to give up that easily. I could make her happy. I knew it. She needed to know it too. I had to tell her everything. She needed to know why I left and why I was back.
"You know what? Just forget it," I said before walking away.
Becca's hand reached for my arm, but I didn't stop. I wasn't going to be some pansy and beg her for time alone so I could pour my guts out to her. If she wanted to be alone with me, she would have gone the first time I asked. I needed to do something to make her understand how serious I was about her and if that meant doing it in front of all these people, I would.
Chapter Nineteen
Becca
As Taylor and I entered the fundraiser, I looked around the room for Gideon. It was more out of reflex than anything, but I kept hoping to see him. The fundraiser was in celebration of a year since his brother, Gabriel Kohl, created the grant to revitalize Canyon Cove's South End. The Boone Art Gallery looked just like it did last year. But the big difference I noticed was that Gideon wasn't there following me around.
When I thought about that night now, I realized how blind I had been. I never admitted to Gideon that I saw him that night. I never told anyone about it. Everything had changed after that night, but it wasn't until now that I admitted it to myself.
I was so worried about my friendship with Gideon ending that I didn't realize it had evolved. In my quest to keep Gideon and not lose him, I did exactly that. I didn't want to believe he loved me, it was easier to pretend he didn't, so I pushed him away.
I spotted Eddie from work and went over to talk to him. As we spoke, I wrapped my arm through Taylor's and looked up at him and smiled. Taylor was the perfect date. He was even the perfect friend. He was model gorgeous and looked incredible in a tuxedo. All the women looked at him when we walked past, but I knew he would never abandon our friendship for one of them. He wasn't interested.
When I thought about Gideon, I wondered if that was what my problem was. Maybe I was so worried about losing him to someone else that when he became interested, I thought our friendship was over.
In all this time, the only thing I knew for certain was that I was someone who overanalyzed everything. Unfortunately with Gideon gone, all I had were my memories of our conversations. It was the only way I could figure out what went wrong. And with Gideon gone, Taylor had become the person that I went to with all my problems.
I was mid-sentence when Gideon stepped into the alcove with us. For a second I thought I was making him up. I thought I had been thinking about him so much that I imagined him there. I was so stunned to see him, I didn't know if I was still talking or if I stopped. It had been so long since I had seen Gideon that I didn't know what to do.
"We need to talk," he said before looking at Taylor with disdain. "Alone."
I couldn't believe he was acting like this after being gone for all this time. He was acting like he owned me and in some way, he did. A day didn't go by where I wasn't thinking about him or wishing he was near. But that didn't mean I wasn't going to be angry with him.
"Anything you say to me, you can say in front of Taylor," I said.
"No, this is about us, Becca, you and me. I'm doing now what I should have done months ago. Before you even had your blind date with this guy."
I could see the anger brewing in Gideon's face, and I liked it. I loved that he was still jealous even though we hadn't spoken in months. I liked how he would get all alpha just because another man was near me.
I wanted to believe I was much more of an intellectual than to fall for this alpha male bullshit, but there was something about Gideon when he was forceful like this that I couldn't resist. Still, he had no right to act this way.
I hated being reminded of that blind date. The good of it was that I met Taylor and he became a great friend, but I hated how Gideon was so quick to find another woman. What made it worse was when he didn't show up. For all I knew, he was telling her how much he loved her just like he told me.
As Eddie started to explain about his sister being Gideon's date and what really happened, I realized I was acting just as jealous as Gideon.
I was saying things and acting in a way that was nothing like me, but I couldn't help myself. Why was I even bringing up something that happened so long ago? I knew I was in love with Gideon, and the thought of him being with someone else drove me crazy.
As he looked at Taylor with disdain, I realized that we were going through the same exact thing. He cared about me as much as I cared about him. And knowing him like I did, I had a feeling that I was making a big deal about Eddie's sister for nothing.
"Becca, please. Can we talk in private? Just give me five minutes," Gideon said.
I looked up at Taylor and he gave a brief nod. Taylor was my go-to friend for everything about Gideon. It was nice to get a man's perspective on things, even if he was gay.
Taylor didn't have to say anything, I knew he would support whatever decision I made. He knew how I felt about Gideon. He knew I had been miserable without my old friend.
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