by S. Valentine
Elias pats his legs for me to rest my head and I check no-one familiar is near. Satisfied the coast is clear I rest on him and close my eyes. The sun is warming my cheeks, birds chirping fill my ears, and my entire body is relaxed. I’m happy. Goosebumps scatter over my body when I catch Elia’s intense stare on me. His lips twitch and I expect him to say something but he remains quiet. I’m sure admiration is present in his eyes.
“Do I have something on my face?” I tease.
“No.” He breaks his gaze and focuses elsewhere, not caring to elaborate.
I think he finds it difficult to express his emotions. He’s tapping his fingers awkwardly as if he’s unsure where to put his hand. Is this huge, macho man nervous around me? Surely not. Making the first move I grab hold of his hand and stroke his fingers gently. His shoulders relax and he leans his back against the tree, and takes in the sights, silent.
I’m desperate to pry into his personal life, but I’m afraid he may want to dig into mine. I really want to get to know him though on a deeper level. I rack my brain for things to discuss which can’t land me into trouble. Family is out of the question.
“Why did you want to be a bodyguard?”
“I like looking after people,” his answer comes out quick.
“How often do things get out of hand?” I take in his swollen knuckles again, intrigued and worried simultaneously.
“Depends.”
I close my eyes to rest knowing I’ll only get short responses again.
“Why did you want to bake cakes?” he eventually asks.
I ponder it in my mind. “I like being creative, coming up with cool decorations, and I like sweet tasting things, so what better combination?”
“Ah!” I duck, hiding into Elias’s chest when a football comes at us full blast. He whacks it out of my way. A lad races toward us and apologises. Then he invites us to play football with him and his friend. I’m about to protest when Elias agrees, telling me it’ll be fun. I’ve never played football before so he explains it to me and we begin. I’m laughing in no time at all. On the opposite team to Elias, I try to tackle him, to get the ball. Our feet dance around one another's and I kick it toward the goal, getting it past the goalie.
I cheer and Elias grins. “You’re letting me win, aren’t you?” I shake my head at him.
“No.”
“Liar.”
After my stomach hurts from so much laughing we grab an ice-cream from a nearby van and stroll back toward the car. Noticing someone watching me from across the street I edge closer to Elias. It could be a complete stranger, but he’s staring at me hard. Elias must notice my distress as he hooks his arm around my waist tightly.
“You okay?”
I nod, praying my nerves will dissipate and fast. Elias’s jaw tenses and he lands a quick kiss to my forehead.
“I told you, you’re safe with me.”
I cling onto him even more and glance over my shoulder. The man is now greeting a woman so he must be no-one important. As we pass a hotel Elias comes to a halt.
“Stay with me tonight.”
“I…”
“Come on. We can have a few drinks in the bar, relax in the spa…” All things new to me. “Or we can just stay in the room and watch a film, or play cards. Anything.”
I’m reluctant although I do want to spend more time with him. I can’t invite him back to Lori’s place. I finally nod and agree. I don’t have to do anything, just enjoy his company.
Once we’ve eaten in the restaurant, we pass the entrance to the spa and Elias tells me he fancies the jacuzzi. I can’t even get out of it by not having my bikini as there’s a stall selling some. Elias offers to buy me one. I’m paralysed with fear, unable to speak for a second. I can’t. Except for Thomas I’ve never been half naked before a man. I fidget from one foot to the other and Elias is already scanning through the racks of bikinis. He holds up a pretty gold one.
“How about this?” He seems excited and I find I can’t say no to him. I like seeing him happy and carefree, out of work mode.
“Sure.”
I have to give myself a pep talk in the changing room. I tighten the towel around me and make a promise to remove it quickly and get in the water. Elias might not even see me. Sighing heavily, I then scold myself for being so prim and proper. I want to live a normal life. I want to be free to do whatever I want whenever I want with no restrictions. It’s a spa, I tell myself. This is normal. I drop the towel and head held high I waltz into the room. Elia’s stare trails over every bit of me and my face heats, but the desire he shows me makes my confidence skyrocket. I can’t help but take in his torso also. Again it’s very pleasing to the eye.
Like a gentleman he takes my hand and leads me into the jacuzzi. The water is warm and when we sit side by side, with the bubbles going, and the soft music playing, I swear I’m in heaven. I should have visited a spa a long time ago. Thomas never showed an interest in these places. They don’t involve alcohol or partying so why would he?
Elias ducks his head under the water, and when he rises, his eyes glistening under the spotlights, his wet hair slicked back, his body soaking, my hormones go crazy. He’s perfect. Manly. Sexy. He must be able to read my thoughts and he softly chuckles to himself before capturing my mouth into a kiss. It’s sweet and tender at first, and then his grip on my neck gets tighter, the kiss harder and faster. I can’t resist him anymore. My body is aching for him, throbbing, and heating up, desperate for a release. I’m pulled onto his lap and our wet skin connect, his hard ridges pressed against me, my breasts squashed.
“Amara,” he groans and then kisses and sucks at my neck. “It’s killing me waiting.” He pulls back and holds my face between his palms, forcing me to look at him. “I won’t hurt you.”
He seems so sincere I cave in. It’s too late for me to turn back. My heart has well and truly overruled my mind. I’ve fallen for Elias Cortez. The way he looks at me, worries about me, protects me. I can see a future with this man. He’s just promised never to hurt me so he must see us going somewhere too. All of a sudden it’s like my body is lighter, my stresses evaporating. I can rely on him. I’m considering telling him my secret, coming clean and baring my soul.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
ELIAS
This is not good. My mind is telling me to stop, to not get intimate with Amara. But I’m powerless to stop myself from kissing her. She’s stunning and her body…absolute perfection. I love how she’s a little coy and it forces me to be gentle when I want to be savage and take her right now in the jacuzzi. I’m dying to grab her hair in my fist, to kiss and bite her. I so badly want to bend her over the edge and…Stop, Elias! She’s not like the other women you fuck. She’s different. There’s something unique about her, but I can’t quite put my finger on what it is.
I make myself go slow, kissing her, reassuring her she can tell me to stop at any moment. I bombard her with compliments so she knows how beautiful she is, how she’s perfect from head to toe. Seeing the fear in her earlier set off the dark animal inside me. It made me want to wrap her in my arms and keep her safe. I can still do that, even if what we have is casual. It has to stay casual.
“Shall we go upstairs?” I ask.
Her eyes are dazy like she’s hypnotised by lust. She nods her answer and we collect our towels and get the lift to our floor. I catch sight of her back which is covered in scars, whip marks I’m guessing. Her ex-boyfriend must have been one sick fuck. Unless they were into sadomasochism, getting off on inflicting pain. She pulls her towel tight around her body, self conscious, and I don’t question her about it, not wanting to bring up her past and maybe upsetting her. She can tell me in her own time when she’s more comfortable.
As soon as we’re in the suite and the door is closed, we attack one another with kisses, hands grappling everywhere. My groans meet her moans and we tumble onto the bed, stripping one another of our wet clothes. Naked, our skin collides, and I push her onto her back. Settling between her leg
s I devour her soft, lightly tanned skin, from her perfectly pert breasts, firm stomach and long legs. Her brown eyes darken with what I assume is both passion and anticipation for what’s next.
She pulls me onto her, kissing me, her tongue wrestling with mine. I break free to kiss her delicate neck while my hands fondle her breasts. Her back arches off the bed, a moan escaping. She’s sensitive to the slightest touch and I like it. She reacts to my fingers trailing down her stomach, goosebumps spreading everywhere, her muscles visibly tightening.
“Are you sure you want this?” I double check.
She swallows down the lump in her throat and then takes a deep breath as if injecting herself with some courage. “Yes.”
I trail kisses over her stomach and make my way down her body. She writhes from side to side when I’m between her legs, my tongue circling and feasting on her. She grips my hair and her pleasured groans further spur me on. When I glance up at her, I see she’s biting her lip, her features screwed up as if she can’t take the intense vibrations that I know are shooting through her shaking limbs. She can’t handle it but I don’t stop. Instead I flicker my tongue even more and she squeals and it’s like magic to my ears. Anyone would think she’s never done this before.
“Elias,” she murmurs. “Please…”
I take that as a sign she wants me. I’m aroused from satisfying her and after I’ve used my fingers, ensuring she’s ready, I enter her gently. She grimaces, her nails digging into my arms. I bet men fall at her feet all the time. I’ve seen the attention she gets and she’s always oblivious to it. I find myself wondering how many men have had her and sparks of jealousy hit me. It’s not my business. I can’t believe I’m about to fuck my client’s ex girlfriend. This is wrong, but out of my control.
I push forward a bit more and she grips me tighter. Her lower muscles are squeezing me, and I worry she’s not aroused. Perhaps I’m wrong and she hasn’t had many partners at all. I’m struggling to fully enter, it’s like she’s a virgin. I come down and soothe her with kisses, as if silently telling her I’ll go slow. My thumb circles her clit and her legs go lax, and I’m able to enter some more. Her tongue dives into my mouth licking and tasting me, and her hands are now gripping my head pulling me closer.
When I finally slide all the way in, she cries out.
“Have you done this before?” My tone is panicked.
She mumbles what sounds like a yes and grips my ass, enabling me to thrust even deeper.
I rock backwards and forwards, driving in and out. My teeth clench and I groan at the intensity of it. Our bodies fit together perfectly, like we were made for each other. A part of me wants this to last as long as possible whereas the other part is desperate to climax. I continue slamming into her fast, but not my usual animalistic pace. I’ll go easy on her this time. But next time, now I know she’s not a virgin I’ll show her how the real Elias Cortez rolls.
“Elias…”
After ten minutes of our wound up bodies connecting, we allow the rush of emotions to tear through us. We come together loudly shaking and groaning, the release every bit as amazing as I expected. Out of breath and slick with sweat, I drop down beside her and gasp for air. When my heartbeat has slowed and my muscles have gained some strength, I roll onto my side and face her.
She’s staring up at the ceiling, quiet, not moving a muscle. I sit up and try to read her expression but it’s difficult. Is she regretting it? Where’s that sheepish smile usually present on her face?
“Are you okay?”
She blinks a few times and turns to me. “Just tired.”
I pull her closer into me, cradling her and kiss her head. “Let’s get some sleep then.”
“Goodnight, Elias.”
“Goodnight, Amara Jain.” I grin and don’t release her even when my arms start to ache. It’s been so long since I had this connection and closeness with someone. It may only be temporary, but I intend to enjoy every lasting second.
***
The sunlight pours through the window making me blink repeatedly. I’d forgotten to close the curtains last night, in my hurry to make love to Amara. I tense, realising how crazy my thoughts are. Making love? I don’t love her. Of course I don’t. Just because I was extremely gentle both times, attentive, kissing and complimenting her, doesn’t mean it was making love. There’s no room for that word in my vocabulary. Not now and not ever.
She stirs beside me and I can’t help but admire her sleepy face and tousled hair. She’s gorgeous. Wanting to show her how naturally beautiful she is, and how peacefully she slept, I pick up my mobile. I open the camera app and snap a photo. Amara must have heard the shutter sound as her eyes spring open. It takes her a second to register where she is and that I’ve taken a photo.
“What are you doing?” She bolts into a seating position, her features contorted with alarm.
“Look how peaceful you look.” I hold my screen to her.
She snatches it from me. “Delete it!” Her reaction surprises me and I watch, bewildered, as she fumbles with my mobile before handing it back. I check and find the photo is gone.
“What’s the issue?” I ask, standing and yanking my boxer shorts on.
She opens her mouth but her jumbled excuses aren’t audible. Then she pauses, takes a small breath and continues, “Thomas could see it. I can’t risk him finding out about us.”
“Why? He doesn’t own you.” Not that I want Thomas to find out, but her reaction to the photo was over the top.
Suddenly aware she’s naked, she grabs the blanket and covers herself quickly. “I don’t want to hurt him and you could lose your job, remember.”
“You don’t need to be afraid of Mr. Dawson,” I grate out, levelling my stare with hers. “He can’t hurt you, especially with me around.” Dropping onto the bed I sigh. “Do you need me to have a word with him?” She knows I mean threaten him. It might end up with me losing him as a client, but I’m genuinely concerned for her. The sort of fear she has isn’t normal.
“No,” she blurts out fast. “I don’t want him finding out and that’s it.” She jumps up taking the quilt with her. The blazing fire is back in her eyes, the shyness long gone, replaced with that sharp tongue. I like it.
“Come here,” I tell her.
“I’m going to freshen up,” she snaps.
“Amara,” I say with a warning tone. “Come here.” I’m firm letting her know I mean business. As much as I like her strong side, she still needs to know who’s the boss around here.
“I said…”
Before she can continue I shoot up and swoop her into my arms. She squeals and I throw her onto the bed. Joining her, I peck her on the mouth several times.
“Breakfast in bed?” I offer.
She nods. “I am quite hungry.”
At that moment my mobile bleeps. I check the screen and refrain from crying in despair. ‘Hope you’re okay.’ Three simple comforting words. However they’re a major blow to my mood sending me from content to depressed in seconds. Why now? Is it a reminder that I don’t deserve to be happy, that I stupidly forgot that? Perhaps I’m reading too much into it. I put my mobile on the side and excuse myself to go shower. No-one could know I’m here with Amara, could they? Not Thomas, not anyone. I strip off my boxers and step into the shower. While I’m slathering soap all over my body I catch sight of myself in the mirror. Did I really think it’d be different this time? I curse under my breath. Happiness is always short lived for me. It comes and goes. I squeeze my lids shut hating the advice echoing in my mind. I know what I have to do, but I’m afraid I’ll be opening a can of worms. And if I think life’s bad now, it’ll be much worse then.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
AMARA
As soon as I step foot into Lori’s house, I bolt upstairs. It’s silent indicating no-one is home. I watch out the window as Elias drives off. We’d kissed goodbye with a promise to meet soon. The fun in the park, the spa, the night in the hotel, it was all perfect, but now I’m alone
I feel…ashamed. I collapse onto the bed and crumble into breathless sobs. I slept with him. How could I do that? I love him, I know I do, without a doubt, so why am I having these guilty feelings?
My mobile vibrates in my pocket and I wipe my wet face. Unknown number. My hands are visibly shaking, but curiosity gets the better of me and I answer.
“Hello?” I force my tone to sound calm and collected.
“Baby…”
I sigh in relief. I’d rather it be Thomas than them. Although…has he suspected something? “How are you?” I decide to go down the polite route.
“I’m good.” He pauses. “Missing you though.”
Yeah, I bet you are. “I’m just about to get in the shower. Did you want anything in particular?” I need to cut the conversation short before the questions come.
“Just wanted to see how you were.”
“Getting on with it, I guess.” I don’t want to rub his nose in how I’m much happier now.
“I’d like for us to remain friends.” His statement hasn’t been said friendly and casual. The firmness of his voice makes it seem like a threat.
I bite my lip and refrain from telling him to get lost. “Of course we can be friends,” I say cheerfully.
“Great. What are you doing this afternoon?”
“I…I…” I stutter failing to conjure up a lie.
“Let’s have dinner then. I’ll pick you up at five.”
No, no. This isn’t good. What if he has Elias with him and he notices the chemistry between us? What if he sees the lies all over our faces? I’m scared to say no to Thomas in case he gets nasty. I don’t want to offend him and so I reluctantly agree to meet.
Ending the call I pull the bed covers back and climb in. I’m drained of energy all of a sudden, hating how Thomas is blackmailing me, because that’s exactly what he’s doing. I’m in a vulnerable position again, hating how I didn’t stand up to him. What happened to me getting a backbone? Covering my face with the pillow I pray the meeting will be quick and painless. I’ll keep Thomas sweet and hopefully he’ll get bored and go play with someone else's emotions for fun.