by S. Valentine
***
When five o’clock comes around, Thomas collects me as promised. I totter in my heels toward his car and when I spot Elias in the driver seat, my stomach drops. On the journey to the restaurant Thomas makes pleasant chit chat but it’s awkward. Just as I suspected when we’re all seated in a restaurant, Thomas fires questions at me.
“What have you been up to?”
“Baking with Lori, what about you?”
He ignores my question and continues, “Have you been out anywhere? Do you need Elias for anything?”
I drop my hands to my lap so he can’t see them shaking under the table. I feel like I’m being given the third degree. Catching Elias’s eye, he turns his gaze away and shifts in his seat. I hope Thomas hasn’t noticed.
“I’ll be fine,” I respond and take a sip of my water. “How are your mom and dad?”
He rambles on about them and I’m glad I’m off the hook. Well, I believe I am. Thomas excuses himself to go to the bathroom and I offer Elias a weak smile. How I wish I could reach over and hold his hand, give him a kiss, anything.
“Everything okay?” he asks, lines marring his forehead with worry every time it comes to me.
“I’m fine. You?”
“Trying to behave myself.” A mischievous smile tilts his lips and he folds his arms across his chest.
“Behave yourself from what?” I tease, but I actually want clarification, to see if he’s referring to me.
“I think you know exactly what thoughts are going through my mind, and who they involve.” He checks his surroundings and says softly, “Give me your hand under the table.”
I do so and his fingers stroke against mine making me tingle all over. Such a simple touch but it evokes so many emotions. His chair scrapes against the floor as he shuffles closer, and his hand slides up my knee. My mouth parts and I inhale, turned on, but also scared of getting caught. His hand moves higher and higher, his fingers caressing my bare skin, slipping under my dress. Before he can continue a waiter interrupts us and we casually readjust ourselves. Thomas appears then and I focus on the menu, anything to hide my flustered expression.
“What did I miss?” Thomas asks and I almost choke as my throat tightens.
“Nothing to write home about,” Elias answers, completely chilled.
After we’ve all ordered food and eaten, Thomas suggests we stay for dessert.
“I promised I’d help Lori bake tonight,” I lie.
“Okay.” He nods. “Well this was nice. Let’s do it again sometime.”
I smile my reply although I can’t think of anything worse. Gathering my handbag I follow Elias and Thomas out of the restaurant. Thomas’s mobile rings and I jump, startled, when Elias grabs my arm and leans in.
“You owe me a kiss.”
I can’t prevent the sheepish smile from spreading across my face. “I guess you’ll have to wait a little longer.”
In the car Elias steals glances at me in the mirror. He’s so handsome. I can’t believe how much I want to kiss him, cuddle him, just be with him. It’s quite frightening how much of a hold he has over me. I don’t like it, but I’m almost certain he won’t hurt me. He’s like my safety net.
Twenty minutes later I’m at Lori’s place and find she’s not home after calling her name repeatedly. I’m about to pour some orange juice when the back door stops me in my tracks. It’s not closed properly. Lori is extra careful about securing the house, especially when there have been a few burglaries in the area this year. Stepping closer I inspect it further. I freeze immediately becoming aware of the broken lock. It’s been forced open. Before I can decide my next move a man barges in. I register the instant shock on his face. Then another man enters from the living room, laden with big black bags. They must be stuffed with Lori’s belongings.
I don’t get chance to plead my release. The nearest man grabs me, his hand covering my mouth. I’d be unable to scream even if I wanted to, paralysed with fear. What if they hurt me?
“Keep fucking quiet and still and everything will be fine,” he says in my ear, his hot breath heating my skin. “We’re almost finished.”
I nod in agreement, and scan the counters for something to use as a tool. I’m being stupid though. I’m outnumbered and I might only end up enraging them. If only I had my gun. The other man disposes of the bags outside and then flees upstairs to collect more goods. My mobile vibrates from my handbag and I hope it’s someone who can save me. The man shifts and I can see his reflection in the window. He’s perplexed at what to do. When the vibrating ceases he relaxes and I become more fearful.
“Pretty little thing, aren’t you?” He nips my ear with his teeth and I lose it.
I’m not going to allow this man to hurt me. No way. I elbow him and his hold loosens enabling me to fly across the room. I pick up the nearest thing to me, a glass ornament, and hold it up.
“Take whatever you want, but don’t even think about hurting me.”
He laughs sadistically. “I love a woman with a bit of fight in her.”
He charges toward me, the ornament is snatched from my hand, and he pushes me to the floor. I can hear my mobile vibrating again. Just by chance I crane my neck and my eyes meet the window. Elias is standing there, mobile to ear, horror on his face. Loud crashing sounds commence and I realise he’s kicking at the front door. The man jumps off me, but it’s too late. Elias has burst in and with his fist clenched, he whacks him in the face, over and over. The man stumbles, obviously dizzy, but still Elias continues to hit him, this time in his body, attacking him like he’s a punch bag.
The other man appears, and having processed what’s happening, he catches Elias in the face with a sharp right hook. It does absolutely nothing to Elias, simply enrages him. He tackles the man to the ground and hits him repeatedly. Blood spurts from his nose, his mouth, pleading sounds escaping.
“Elias,” I mumble. He’s going too far. The men are in no fit state to hurt me now. Elias should release them. “Elias!” I shout loudly.
It’s as if he doesn’t hear and the devil has possessed him. There’s an evil anger flashing in his eyes, and anyone would think he wants these men dead. Satisfied the man beneath him is unconscious, like a wild animal he returns to the other man who is scrambling to his feet.
“No, Elias!” I yell. “Leave it! Let’s go!”
He drags the man up by his shirt and head-buts him full blast. The man’s legs give way, but Elias forces him upright, and with his free hand continues to hit him. The man’s head jerks from left to right over and over. Then he drops him and kicks his body hard and viciously. The man is spluttering, spitting out blood, begging for him to stop. There’s protecting someone and then there’s taking it way too far.
“Stop!”
How can’t he hear me? With all of the strength I can muster I push Elias hard, making him wobble slightly. His outraged face softens as he registers my tears. He holds his hand out for me to take, but I refuse it, backing away.
I can’t be possibly be with him. This level of anger isn’t normal. It was like he was unable to control his temper. And I thought Thomas’s temper, his threats were bad? I’ve made a huge mistake. Now I know why they call Elias Cortez ‘Brutal.’ I think I’ve chosen the worst of two evils. Once feeling protected by Elias, I’m now afraid.
Chapter Thirty
ELIAS
Rolling onto my side I grit my teeth as pain shoots through my hands. I blink, slowly adjusting to the light. I’m in my room, in bed. Last night comes rushing back to me like the worst nightmare ever. At the time I’d been trying to call Amara after we’d had dinner with Thomas to say goodnight. When she hadn’t answered I’d panicked, the worst scenarios possible attacking me. I’d dropped Thomas off and headed straight to Lori’s place to find Amara being wrestled by some man. Even now the image has me seething. He would have hurt her. I can’t even bear to imagine how far he would have taken it had I not intervened. Intervened? I almost laugh, but instead I groan. I didn’t
intervene. I went full on savage and having made Amara cry, I hate myself. I’m supposed to be the man who protects her, keeps her safe, makes her feel she has a safe place in me. I’ve messed up.
I sit up and stare at my swollen knuckles. I won’t be able to workout for a week or so. Taking my mobile I attempt to call Amara again. She must have hailed a taxi in the street after the incident that night, as I was unable to find her anywhere. I haven’t seen or heard from her since.
It rings out and I drop back onto the bed, sighing heavily. I have no idea what to do. What if I’ve blown it? Bile rises in my throat and I have a sudden urge to be sick. What the hell is happening to me? You like her more than you thought, my mind taunts me. I punch the mattress forgetting my injuries and scream out. This isn’t good. I pace back and forth in the room. The times we’ve shared together bombard me. The London eye for my birthday, Madame Tussauds, the opera, relaxing in Hyde Park, spending the night in a hotel. My heart feels full all of a sudden, a warmness I haven’t experienced in forever. I like the way Amara makes me feel. I love how she cares about everyone, even people who don’t deserve it like Thomas. The way she looks out for animals as well. Her heart is pure and that’s rare to find these days. She reminds me a lot of Kaley.
I wanted to keep Amara at arms length, and not get attached, but I may have failed and it deeply disturbs me. I can keep her safe from a distance, but together, as a couple, it just can’t happen ever. Now I may have lost her I think I want it to be serious, even though it could have detrimental consequences, and it’s high risk. I’m confused and so fucked up.
An hour later I’m explaining everything to my parents. My mom could tell I was in a mood and clawed her way into my business.
“You have to tell her how you feel.”
“I don’t know how I feel.” I rub at my stubble, agitated. “I don’t want her to be in danger either.”
“So, tell her the risks,” my mom states.
I close my eyes for a moment. I’ve never told anyone about my past. I don’t even know if I’m able to. I’ll probably have a mental breakdown.
“If you like her and you don’t want to lose her, honesty is the best policy.” She takes my hand and squeezes it. “You’ve scared the pool girl, Elias. It’s the only way.”
My past might scare her away even more. Right now I don’t have any other choice but to come clean. About everything.
***
After a few days of working with Thomas and Maverick I lose my patience. Amara hasn’t responded to any of my text messages or picked up my calls. If she doesn’t want anything to do with me again that’s fine, but I at least deserve the chance to explain myself. I hate how I want to explain myself. I never normally feel the need to with anyone.
After work I drive to Lori’s place and knock on the door. A dishevelled Amara opens it, and she gasps when she looks up, and tries to shut me out. I wedge my foot against the door.
“Amara. Give me five minutes, please.”
“I don’t want to hear it,” she snaps.
“Please!” I push my way inside and close the door as she darts into the living room. “Is Lori here?” I ask, joining her.
Her mouth opens and closes, confusion at what answer to give keeping her silent.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” I say firmly and slowly lower myself onto the sofa. “Please sit.”
“I don’t w—”
“Amara!” I shoot back upwards and grab her by her arms. She physically recoils and it kills me. “You don’t need to be scared of me.”
“I saw what you did to those men. It was too much.” She shrugs me off.
“I thought they were going to hurt you. I was trying to protect you.”
“No!” she shouts, livid. “You continued to hit them for your own sick gratification even when they were no longer a threat.”
“They may have still been a threat. You think I haven’t knocked people out before, and they haven’t came back for more?” I laugh incredulously.
“I don’t care,” she scolds me. “I told you several times to stop.”
“I didn’t want to risk you getting hurt,” I yell equally as loud.
“I wasn’t in any danger,” she screams, her face now red, a vein throbbing in her temple. “Go away, Elias. Whatever we had it’s over!” She flees up the stairs. “Let yourself out please.”
I follow her, panicked all of a sudden. I hate these foreign emotions in me. What sort of spell has this woman got me under? I’m nervous I may not see her again. This isn’t like me. I never chase women. I don’t develop any sort of feelings for women full stop.
“I might have overreacted,” I start to speak now in her bedroom.
“Please don’t drag this out.” She groans, losing her patience. “You’re dangerous. You’re the sort of person I don’t want around me.”
“I’m protective over those I care about.”
“I don’t want to discuss this,” she says sternly. “We have different views. There’s being protective and there’s being out of control. Just get out!”
I remain frozen to the spot. Tears are now dripping down her face like she’s seen the real me and I’m a massive disappointment.
“Get out! You’re not the man I thought you were.” She steps toward me and pushes me in the chest in an attempt to get me out of her room. She has no strength compared to me and I don’t budge a centimetre.
I take a deep breath and she pushes me again, telling me over and over to get out.
I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment, anger and devastation merging. She continues to push and shout and I grab her hard by the arms and stare deep into her dark eyes, aware mine must be watery.
“I’m fierce in protecting those I care about,” my tone is low but clear. “My fiancée was murdered because of me.”
Amara stops still, stunned. My chest is heavy with stress and I have no strength left in me. I drop to the bed and bury my head in my hands. This truth will either sending Amara running for the hills, or she’ll pity me. If it’s the latter whether she’ll stay with me I don’t know, but she deserves to know the risks, what being with me involves. I’m not a monster, but that night, when I lost Kaley, it’s everything I should have been.
Chapter Thirty-One
AMARA
I stare at Elias gobsmacked, unsure if I’ve heard right. His fiancée was murdered because of him. How? When? Why? There’s a million questions swimming around my mind and I don’t even know where to begin. I watch as he sits there, his breathing slow and laboured, his hands shaking. It’s as if he’s in the worst pain ever. I wasn’t even sure a man as tough as Elias had these emotions. It seemed as if nothing ever fazed him. He’s a broken man clearly, and he blames himself. Before I judge, I have to know more.
“What happened?” I lean against the wall, a little afraid to be close to him, but also wanting to comfort him at the same time.
He brings his face up, red eyes full of sorrow not meeting mine, but focusing before him in a deep like trance. “In my line of work I have to protect my clients, and sometimes things get out of hand, and fights break out.” He inhales as if trying to find the strength to continue. “One time a fight got way out of hand. A man glassed me a few times, here.” He taps his chest.
I remember seeing the scars.
“I thought he was going to kill me, so I did what I had to do. Ended up putting him in hospital.” He glances at the floor for a moment. “Turns out he was linked to some dangerous men who wanted revenge.” Elias stands now and strolls to the window, his back to me.
He doesn’t speak and I fear he won’t continue. I need to know what happened but I’m careful not to push him. The last thing I need is for his guard to come up and he returns to his silent, brooding ways.
He turns toward me again and shoves his hands in his trouser pockets. “I was working at a popular club in Brighton months later. They must have had links there who told them of my whereabouts. Kaley had plans to join her friends at the s
ame club. I told her not to come. I told her she had to lay low for a while.” Rage and regret flashes in his eyes and he shakes his head.
Kaley? So that was her name. I take a few steps to the bed and sit down, unsure if I’ll have the strength to stand after hearing this story.
“She never listened,” he grates out, his voice wavering. “The men found me, started a huge fight, and Kaley intervened, tried to split it up.” Elias rubs his forehead, and a mournful sob escapes from him. “If only she’d listened to me...but it was my fault really.”
I rush toward him and wrap my arms around him, tightening my hold when he tries to break free. I’m comforting him and he doesn’t get a say in it.
“It’s not your fault. You weren’t to know that would happen,” I try to soothe him.
“It’s my fault. They killed her to get back at me. I should have protected her,” he chokes out. “I regret not protecting her.”
This must be why he doesn’t get close to women. He’s scared of losing them, of them getting hurt by being associated with him. I think back to how protective he is over me, like getting mad if I’m not wearing my seatbelt, or that time when a man barged into me in the street, and how he hates making plans for other people, making them decide. No responsibility equals no guilt, no regrets.
“What did they do to her?” I dare to ask.
His chest inflates and his arms remain limp by his sides. “They...he...” he stutters. “They pushed her down the stairs.”
Before I can respond Elias disentangles himself and rushes from the room. I hear a door slam shut and know he’s in the bathroom. I respect his wishes to be alone and sit on the bed taking in everything he’s told me. She was pushed down the stairs? My head is killing me from information overload. I rub at my temples, and fight back the urge to cry on his behalf.