Miss Janie’s Girls

by Brown, Carolyn

  “Hey, before y’all got here, I had to do everything but clean the house. I’m sure not complaining about making coffee,” Noah said.

  While the coffee brewed, he set the table for four and then sat down at one end. “Want to talk about your la-la land?”

  “I was thinking about this idea that we’ve got for the senior place.” She wasn’t lying—she had thought about it for a split second before she’d begun to relive the experience she’d had with Will.

  Teresa usually set an alarm on her phone, but after getting up at three a.m. to listen to Kayla’s reunion stories, she’d turned it off. She awoke with a start, ending a dream about trying to get to the other side of a muddy river. With a shiver, she sat straight up in bed and glanced over at Miss Janie, still sleeping soundly. She couldn’t shake the vision of that raging chocolate-brown water in her dream. Miss Janie had told her many times that dreaming about muddy water of any kind meant there would be a death in the family.

  Teresa kicked off the sheet and slung her legs over the side of the bed. Miss Janie was still sleeping, so she made a quick trip through the bathroom and then pulled on a pair of shorts. She tiptoed across the room and made the bed she’d slept in the night before—wrinkle-free and tight enough to bounce a quarter on. That’s what Miss Janie taught her about making up a bed.

  As she rounded the end of the bed, she stopped in her tracks when she noticed Miss Janie’s lips were a pale shade of blue. Teresa sucked in air and gently laid her hand on her foster mother’s chest. She wasn’t breathing and her body was stone cold, even through her nightgown and the sheet.

  “No!” Teresa’s whisper came out in a ragged gasp as she dropped to her knees beside the bed. “Wake me up, God,” she sobbed. “Let this be a dream and not real. Kayla!” She moaned in a guttural voice so full of pain that she didn’t even recognize it as being her own.

  Kayla eased the door open and peeked inside. “Do you need me to bring the babies? Holy crap! Did you fall? Are you hurt?” She rushed to her side.

  “She’s gone.” Teresa put her head in her hands. “Miss Janie is . . .” She couldn’t force another word from her aching chest.

  “No!” Kayla screeched and fell on the floor beside Teresa. “I’m not ready . . .” She grabbed Teresa around the shoulders and rocked back and forth with her as their tears mingled.

  Noah poked his head in the door. “I heard weeping. Does Miss Janie want the babies? Are y’all all right?”

  “No, we’re not,” Kayla said between sobs.

  “What’s wrong?” His voice sounded concerned.

  Teresa looked up at him and tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out of her mouth for several seconds. She felt as if they were all three frozen in a macabre scenario that would never end. Finally, she whispered, “She’s gone, Noah. She died in her sleep.”

  His eyes had been locked on hers, but now they shifted to the hospital bed, and tears flooded his unshaven cheeks. He sat down with a thud, wrapped his arms around both women, and cried with them. “I thought we had more time,” he whispered. “I wanted her to be lucid a few more times. I wanted . . .” He buried his head in Teresa’s shoulder and wept so hard that her heart broke for him even more than for herself.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Noah thought he had prepared himself for this day. All the legal work was in order. Miss Janie had told him what she wanted done concerning her funeral. Somehow, during taking care of her, he’d forgotten to think about the hole in his heart that would appear when she was gone. He wanted to scream at God for creating diseases like cancer and Alzheimer’s, but down deep he knew that her last breath had nothing to do with God or the doctors.

  “Shhh . . . We’ll get through this together.” Teresa patted him on the back.

  His dad had been right all along. Noah’s heart was too soft. He should be comforting the two women, not blubbering like a baby.

  “She was fine when I went back to bed at three,” Teresa said, “but when I got up and checked her a few minutes ago”—she covered her face with her hands—“she was cold and she wasn’t breathing. Maybe if I’d gotten up earlier, I could have—”

  “Don’t blame yourself.” Kayla reached around Noah to pat Teresa on the shoulder. “If I hadn’t gone to the reunion, it would have been my turn to sleep in the room with her. This isn’t your fault.”

  Noah slipped his phone from his hip pocket. “I should call the coroner and the funeral people, but I can’t bear to see them take her away.”

  Kayla reached up for the box of tissues on the nightstand, took out a fistful, and passed them around. “Miss Janie is the spirit that makes this house a home. How will we survive without her?”

  Teresa dried Noah’s wet cheeks before she took care of her own tears. “She looks so peaceful, like she’s sleeping, but that’s only the body that housed her sweet spirit. We have to remember that when they take her out of the house. Her spirit will stay in our hearts to help us when we need it.”

  “Promise?” Noah needed something to hang on to as much as the two girls did.

  “Hey, where is everyone?” Sam’s voice floated down the hallway from the front door.

  “We’re in here,” Noah called out.

  Sam eased down into the rocking chair and sighed. “When did she leave us?”

  “Sometime after three this morning,” Noah answered.

  “She went peacefully,” Sam said. “I hope that when it’s my time, I go like that.”

  “How do you know?” Noah asked.

  “She was having a wonderful dream when she stepped out of this world and into eternity. She’s got a smile on her face,” Sam answered. “My Delia fought death so hard that she had a horrible expression on her face when she went. Miss Janie accepted things, and she knew she was leaving her little family right here where you all belong.”

  “Thank you, Sam.” Noah managed a weak smile.

  “Losin’ her will be hard on all of us here in Birthright, but even tougher on you kids. Folks didn’t come around much this past summer because a lot of the time she didn’t know them, but they’ll be here for y’all.” Sam reached for the tissues and pulled out a couple. “We’ve lost a pillar of our community.” He wiped his eyes and laid a hand on Noah’s shoulder. “I’m here to help. Want me to call the funeral home?”

  “Yes, please,” Noah whispered.

  Sam pulled his phone from the bib pocket of his overalls and made the call. Then they all sat in silence for a few minutes. Noah felt like he should have said something, but there were no words—just a gaping black abyss.

  “She’d hate this,” Kayla finally said. “She didn’t like people staring at her.”

  “You’re right, but . . . ,” Noah agreed. “I can’t leave her alone. If y’all want to go, it’s fine, but I have to stay until they take her away.”

  “Her last words to me were that the best years of her life were when we lived here with her.” Teresa sniffled.

  “She told me that pretty often,” Sam said as he put his phone back in his pocket. “The funeral home will be here in twenty minutes. I’m glad for the times when her mind was lucid and we could talk about old times.”

  “I’m glad for all the times she talked about when she was younger because we got to know her better. She would never have opened up to us if she hadn’t been able to flip back and forth from past to present.” Kayla tossed her tissues into the trash can and pulled more from the box.

  “Thank you, Noah, for finding me and Kayla and making it possible for us to come back to spend some time with her.” Teresa wiped her face with the back of her hand.

  “Past and present, she’s been a counselor to all of us, and you don’t have to thank me, Teresa. I would have done anything for her. She’d want us to get past this grief and get on with our lives, though.”

  “You are so right about that. She even said those same words to me when I lost Delia.” Sam’s voice cracked. “Y’all are going to make her proud by paying forward the
love and kindness that she’s shown you. That’s the way to honor her memory.”

  “Amen,” Teresa, Kayla, and Noah said in unison.

  Teresa appreciated the two men who came to take Miss Janie away for respecting her modesty as they lifted her onto the gurney with the sheet still covering her body. Miss Janie would have been mortified if her nightgown had slid up and shown her underpants. She and Noah walked on one side of the gurney, with Sam and Kayla on the other, as they carried her out to the hearse. Then they stood together until the vehicle was out of sight and the dust it left behind had completely settled.

  “This is a small community, but we take care of our own,” Sam said. “The food will start pouring in here as soon as the community knows she’s gone. Folks used to bring in food for her before y’all showed up. I kind of took it upon myself to tell everyone to let her have the time with her family since we knew the end was in sight. I’ll stick around and help y’all since I know everyone.”

  “Thank you,” Teresa said. “I’ve never been involved with anything like this before. What do we do about the services, Noah?”

  “First of all,” Sam said, jumping in, “we go into the house and have something to eat. Then we can talk about what comes next. Y’all need to keep your physical strength up, or you’ll get all depressed, and I’m talking from experience. Miss Janie saw to it that I ate three times a day when Delia passed. She fussed at me when I didn’t think I could swallow a bite. It’s my turn to be that person for y’all.”

  “I’m not hungry,” Teresa whispered. “If I eat, I’ll gag.”

  “Sam is so right,” Noah said. “And after we have breakfast, I need you girls to help me pick out a dress to take to the funeral home for her burial. The florists are closed today, so we’ll have to be ready first thing in the morning to go choose flowers for the casket piece.”

  “My mind is numb,” Teresa whispered. “I don’t know that I can do either of those things.”

  “You will take each step one at a time,” Sam said. “The funeral home won’t need her dress until tomorrow morning, so you’ve got time to think about that and the flowers.”

  Noah started back toward the house, but when he realized Teresa wasn’t moving, he came back. “She wanted to be buried as quickly as possible, and she wants graveside services only. She told me what song to play, and she said that the preacher could say a few words, and each of us is supposed to speak, but nothing lengthy. I was thinking Tuesday morning.”

  “That’s too soon.” Teresa shook her head slowly. “I can’t . . . We should . . . Oh, Noah.” She buried her head against his shoulder. “How are we going to let them put her in the cold ground and cover her up with dirt?”

  He wrapped his arms around her and mingled his tears with hers. He didn’t care if the General did think he was too soft for a man. “Like you said earlier, that’s only her body, darlin’. Miss Janie doesn’t occupy that space anymore. She’s with Aunt Ruthie now. She’s not in pain, and she’s got her right mind back.”

  Teresa took a step back. “I thought I was ready for when her time came, but I was so wrong.”

  “We are never ready.” Noah laced her fingers in his and gently pulled her toward the house. “We all knew my grandfather wouldn’t last long, and yet when he was gone, we weren’t ready to lose him. My dad went suddenly, so we sure weren’t ready. I remember thinking at the time that it didn’t matter if we had weeks to prepare for a loved one’s death or no time at all. We could never be ready no matter how hard we try or even think we are.”

  “I should have come to visit her more often, but I was so ashamed of what I’d made of my life that I couldn’t face her. She did so much for me, and I wasted everything.” Teresa wanted to stop crying, but the tears kept coming like there would be no end to them.

  Noah opened the door for her. “You came when she asked for you, and you had time with her—and more importantly, she had time with you—so stop beating yourself up.”

  When they reached the kitchen, Sam had put a yellow legal pad and a pencil on the table. “That’s to write down what each person brings in the way of food. Did she leave any directions about what she wants done?”

  “She wants a blue casket like Aunt Ruthie’s, and she said not to spend too much money on it,” Noah answered. “We discussed all that when I first got here last June, and then again a few days ago.”

  “She likes red roses and yellow daisies,” Kayla said. “She told me that when I was a senior in high school.”

  “She told me that her favorite color was lilac,” Teresa added. “On Easter Sunday, before Kayla came to stay with us that summer, she said she loved pastel colors. Why don’t we have the florist make a casket piece of all colors? When I think of her as a color, she’s every color in the rainbow.”

  “We should bury her in one of her Sunday dresses,” Kayla said. “Teresa and I can pick one out.”

  “See?” Sam smiled. “That wasn’t so hard. You just think of her and what she liked, and it makes it easier. The sun is supposed to shine through Tuesday, but according to the weatherman, storms are coming through the area on Wednesday. Miss Janie liked to sit on the screened porch even on hot days, and she hated storms.”

  Thank God for Sam, Teresa thought.

  “That’s the day after tomorrow,” Kayla moaned. “I’m not sure I can tell her goodbye that quick.”

  “Yes, you can, and the sooner the better. Once the funeral is over, we’ll all begin to heal,” Sam told them. “And yes, I’m speaking from experience. None of us will ever forget her, but we have to get through the grief in order to start living again.”

  “Are you over Delia yet?” Teresa asked.

  “Nope, but I’m workin’ on it. Grief ain’t an overnight thing, but time and good friends help. Let’s have some chocolate doughnuts and milk in Miss Janie’s honor. Folks will have already seen the hearse and will be coming by soon. Y’all will need to be dressed and ready to talk to them.”

  Teresa looked down at her Betty Boop pajamas and started to laugh—big guffaws burst out of her.

  “Have you lost your mind, Teresa?” Kayla scolded. “There’s nothing funny going on here.”

  “Look at us.” She waved an arm.

  “Good God almighty!” Kayla gasped. “It’s a wonder Miss Janie didn’t crawl right off that gurney and fuss at us for going outside in our pajamas. And yours even have pictures of Betty Boop dressed in what looks like a teddy.”

  That turned into an infectious belly laugh that had all of them roaring in a matter of minutes when each of them realized how they’d been dressed when the coroner and the funeral folks had arrived. Noah in his white tank top and Aggies pajamas. Kayla in her baggy neon-green shorts and a nightshirt that looked like it had come from a rag bag.

  “I needed that.” Teresa wiped her eyes on her shirtsleeve.

  “I think we all did,” Noah agreed.

  “Y’all go on and get dressed,” Sam said. “I ain’t much of a cook, but I know how to open a package of chocolate doughnuts and pour four glasses of milk.”

  “Thank you,” Noah said, and then left the room with Teresa and Kayla right behind him.

  “I didn’t mean any disrespect, laughing like that,” Teresa said.

  “Of course you didn’t, and if Miss Janie was here, she’d have got a big kick out of the way we all look.” After giving Teresa a quick peck on the lips, Noah closed the door to his bedroom and fell back on his bed. “I’m going to miss you so much, Miss Janie,” he whispered. “I can never thank you enough for what you did for me in the past or how much you’ve helped me understand myself during these weeks I’ve had with you.”

  He took a deep breath before he went on. “Or for the future. I would have never gotten to know Teresa as an adult if you hadn’t brought us all together here in Birthright or have figured out what to do with my life.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  On Monday afternoon Teresa looked around the kitchen and groaned. “What are we goin
g to do with all this food? Do folks realize that there’s only three of us in the house?”

  Sam patted her on the back. “Country folks show their respect and love with food at a time like this. I knew this would happen. That’s why I brought aluminum foil and different-sized containers. Miss Janie taught me how to do this when Delia passed away. We’re going to divide the casseroles into portions for three to four people and put them in the freezer. We can do the same with most of the cakes, pies, and cookies, but we’ll have to eat the jelled fruit salads and the puddings pretty soon. That kind of stuff don’t freeze too well.”

  “I remember Miss Janie taking food to funeral dinners and to homes when new babies were born,” Kayla said.

  “Me too, and I even went with her sometimes.” Teresa began to wash the containers.

  “Military wives are pretty good at this kind of thing, too.” Noah had barely gotten the words out of his mouth when his phone rang. He answered it, listened for a few seconds, thanked the caller, and shoved the phone back in his hip pocket. “That was the funeral home. Miss Janie is ready for the family to view.”

  Teresa’s heart turned into a stone in her chest. Sure, she’d seen Miss Janie lying cold in her hospital bed the day before, and in her mind, she knew that her foster mother was dead. Her heart had refused to believe it, so she’d pretended that Miss Janie was just sleeping. Now she’d have to look at her in a casket, and that would make everything very real.

  “Right now?” Kayla asked.

  “Any time before five,” Noah answered.

  “Go now,” Sam said. “Puttin’ it off makes it harder to deal with.”

  “You’re coming with us, aren’t you?” Kayla asked.

  “Nope,” he answered. “Needs to only be you three together for that. I’ll take care of this food while y’all are gone. I’m glad to be included in the family, but—”

  “You are part of this family,” Noah butted in.

  “Thank you, son.” Sam smiled. “But this is y’all’s time.”